285: Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure
Release Date: 11/17/2019
301: Sex and depression with JoEllen Notte
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr JoEllen Notte is here to help us explore depression, relationships, and how depression and mental health can impact sex and desire, plus connecting during a pandemic. is happening NOW! Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to and register. We've got Pleasure Mechanics, Rachel Cole, Prentis Hemphill, Andrea Glik, Jennifer Mullan, Kai Cheng Thom, and so many others. Don't miss it! Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat...
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300: Jaclyn Friedman on believing women
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Jaclyn Friedman on believing women, what happens when we disclose our trauma, and why our PERCEPTION of who is a victim impacts how we view all victims. We're talking about her new book with Jessica Valenti, "Believe Me". is happening NEXT WEEK. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat between Jaclyn Friedman and I on Tina Horn's fantastic essay speaking to why pleasure...
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299: Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, why mental health models are anti-erotic.
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, relational work, and why modern mental health models are inherently anti-erotic. registration is OPEN. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to exploremoresummit.com now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a private conversation Leonore and I had prior to recording for the podcast. We didn't intend for this to be heard, but it was so good I had to share! Hear it at . In my chat...
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298: Discharge, FGM scars, cheating during Alzheimers, & teaching kids pleasure with food
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr We are talking vaginal discharge, FGM or genital cutting scars, cheating when a partner has Alzheimers, and how to teach your kids the importance of pleasure with food. all about pleasure is now enrolling. The next cohort starts March 22nd, so do not miss it! Especially now with the news cycle and the fear. Spending some dedicated time for 5 weeks, plus 6 intimate group calls, to explore pleasure and safety is sooo important. Check out the details and First up - BE SURE TO !!! There are still 3 days left which means NINE free talks to see, and there is a 90-minute Parenting with...
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297: Christy Harrison on eating for pleasure, desirability, and being anti-diet, Part 2
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. Part 2 of 2! I am so excited to share Part 2 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! If you haven't heard Part 1, before diving into this episode. Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive...
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296: Christy Harrison on pleasure, happiness, and being anti-diet, Part 1
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. I am so excited to share Part 1 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating". Before we get into my chat with Christy, I have a few important things: ...
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295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Are sexual preferences changeable? What if someone really just doesn't like short men or fat women? And what should a lesbian do if she wants sex with men? First up - BE SURE TO !!! It's going to be incredible and challenging and so so so powerful. I'm not only a speaker but I'm also working behind the scenes with Alex to produce it for Be Nourished. Seven days of talks on healing our relationship with food and body? Yes please. because it's entirely online and kicks off March 11th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is an erotica reading. It's a hot Daddy/girl...
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294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Inka Winter from ForPlay Films joins us to talk about making porn and why sexual healing and sex education is an important part of her work. Patrons who support at $3 and above, don't miss my bonus chat with Inka at . Inka shares about her experience growing up in a cult in Austria where sex was mandatory and why that informs so much of her work at ForPlay Films. In this episode, Inka and I talk about the very real challenges of what it's like to create erotic film. We talk about how Inka got started, how generous her friends in Hollywood have been at volunteering as...
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293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker? Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at . I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments. Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at . We start by talking about the importance of treating sex workers with respect and we talk a little about a piece...
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292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Bringing more racial nuance to sexual assault conversations, how to do oral sex when you struggle for breath, and how to deal with regret and hurt after a threesome. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there are TWO bonuses this week at . One is all about what people got stuck in their vagina, penis, and rectum in 2019. The other is about the science of biological sex by.... a biologist. Tune in and comment with your thoughts. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . We start with some beautiful words by...
info_outlinetl;dr Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure
This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners, save 30% off your first month's subscription of period products (tampons, pads, and liners) and sex products (ultra thin condoms, lube, and wipes).
This week it's me and Kai Cheng Thom. I AM SO EXCITED!
Kai Cheng and I talk about so many things from how easy it is for sex positive educators to default to a mechanized view of sex and why checklists around consent aren't enough to why sex is always political and why Kai Cheng is so committed to uplifting our humanity.
We dive into healing, trauma, transformative justice, courage, pleasure, and Kai Cheng's vision for a post-apocalyptic world.
Be sure to check out Kai Cheng's advise column for some great reading, and of course, grab Kai Cheng's new book, "I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes From the End of the World" out by AK Press.
Then, for Patreon, our bonus conversation is all about somatic sex education, the importance of having a place to practice and experience sex, and where you can learn more about somatic sex education. If you want to hear our chat, it's for folks who support at $3 per month and above, and you can hear it at patreon.com/sgrpodcast.
Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.
About Kai Cheng Thom:
Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and community worker based in Toronto. She is the award-winning author four books, all in different genres. Kai Cheng's work on mental health, relationships, and transformative justice has appeared in many publications internationally.
Stay in touch with Kai Cheng at kaichengthom.com and on Twitter @razorfemme.
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Episode Transcript
Head to dawnserra.com/ep285 for the transcript.