Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Release Date: 04/28/2025
Beyond Good & Evil: Part 3 - Vanessa Learns How To Snap
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Beyond Good & Evil: Part 3 - Vanessa Learns How To Snap Square Roots - Episode 476 Quest Log: 0:36:15 Level Up: 1:54:16 Holy crow! Vanessa, Jim and Matthew have finished Beyond Good & Evil already! And now you can play through with them through the end of the first and last entry in Ubisoft's series, I think we can all agree that means that the one with the swearing monkeys isn't coming out. Also: * I Don't Know What Happens In This Episode * Jim Hasn't Edited It Yet This Week: Finish Beyond Good & Evil! Next Week: Get through Chapter 10 / leave the motel in Heavy Rain! Our...
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Beyond Good & Evil: Part 2 - Colin Firth is the Dessert
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Beyond Good & Evil: Part 2 - Colin Firth is the Dessert Square Roots - Episode 475 Quest Log: 24:55 Level Up: 01:44:45 On this blockbusting episode of Square Roots, Vanessa, Jim and Matthew interrupt their examination of the premise of Mamma Mia! to discuss the Ubisoft classic action adventure game, Beyond Good & Evil! Also: * Vanessa Isn't Sure How To Pronounce Portcullis, Sue Perkins Is Disappointed * We Need a New Wolf * Lovett versus Lovitz * Menu Navigation: The Challenge of the Game * The Most Handsome Man Deserves to Go First in the Train * Anyone Wearing Green Lipstick Is Not...
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Square Roots: The Superman Tangent
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Square Roots: The Superman Tangent Square Roots - Episode 474 Hot Gaming Goss: 02:45 Quest Log: 29:45 Level Up: 17:28 Non-Spoiler Review: 38:36 The Spoilery Superlog: 48:35 Matt and Jim decide just not to talk about Beyond Good & Evil after Vanessa's mysterious absence, and instead review the new Superman movie! Also: * I heard the new Marvel is crazy! * Our friend Artie's new Forgotten Realms cookbook!...
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Beyond Good & Evil: Part 1 - Donkula
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Beyond Good & Evil: Part 1 - Donkula Square Roots - Episode 473 Quest Log: 29:45 Level Up: 02:13:45 On this incredible first episode of Ubisoft's classic Black & White, Jim, Matt and Vanessa get to play the beloved Jade Empire. Wait. No. Okay it's Beyond Good & Evil, don't trust Matt's lies. Also: * Johnny’s on BlueOrigin * Script treatments * Square roots reacts to pig ranking * P’uncle * Touching pigs, touching sheep * Reenacting the movie Pig * Business Casual Podcasting This Week: Return to Iris headquarters after the factory in Beyond Good & Evil! Next Week:...
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Enchanted Arms Part 7: The Kind of Walk You Play A Tuba For!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Enchanted Arms Part 7: The Kind of Walk You Play A Tuba For! Square Roots - Episode 472 Quest Log: 27:15 Level Up: 02:07:48 This is it: we're finished the game that almost broke the podcast! That's right, on this week's Enchanted Arms, we've put the series to bed! The FROM SOFTWARE classic JRPG elicited all sorts of reactions from the Square Roots crew. Also: * No, Stop! * Just A Bottle Of Brown Spit! * Punch A Newborn Baby! * You Need To Watch A Shonen Anime! This Week: Finish Enchanted Arms! Next Week: Return to Iris headquarters after the factory in Beyond Good & Evil! Our Patreon:...
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Enchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Enchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject Square Roots - Episode 471 Quest Log: 32:20 Level Up: 01:48:40 Don't talk to Matt about Dairy Queen. Or Atsuma and his stupid arm. Heck, I don't think Matt is even enjoying The Mystery Man's hijinks at this point, almost at the end, of Enchanted Arms, the cult classic FROM SOFTWARE JRPG! Also: * The first podcast * Everybody gets one pig * Adult arcades * Puzzy Corner * The titular sleep * Equis Dickboy Charlie Merrily This Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Graveholm Keep! Next Week: Finish Enchanted Arms! Our...
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Enchanted Arms Part 5: Gum Cutters
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Enchanted Arms Part 5: Gum Cutters Square Roots - Episode 470 Quest Log: 36:48 Level Up: 01:51:18 This week on Square roots, Matt really, really wants to get Johnny into the Ministry Duck, but it's just not happening. Meanwhile in FROM SOFTWARE's Enchanted Arms, we learn an important lesson about Miyazaki. Also we learn about Tokimune's sex golems, some motivation behind Oboro's actions, Sayaka's secret Dad, and so much more. Also: * You Gotta Hit That Word So Right * Jim Loves Sticking His Hand In Holes * A Cool Video For Straights * Is Hans Gruber Queer Coded? * MaTT * Those Ducks Are...
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Enchanted Arms Part 4: Sweats, Dunce, Pomp and Lil Guy
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Enchanted Arms Part 4: Sweats, Dunce, Pomp and Lil Guy Square Roots - Episode 469 Quest Log: 33:48 Level Up: 01:57:00 We're back on our nonsense! And that nonsense is both the FROM SOFTWARE classic Enchanted Arms *and* the English 80s girl band quintet Toto Coelo. Did Yuki commit the Perfect Crime getting that flute back from the rich old talk show host? Is the secret motivation behind Oboro kidnapping all the women in Kyoto City because they eat cannibal? It's Spy Versus Spy when it turns out that Raigar is NOT a homosexual, and in fact a Powersled who is engaged to a Ninja on the other side...
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2025: Most Anticipated Games!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
2025 Most Anticipated Games! Square Roots - Episode 468 We're taking the week off, which somehow ended up with recording an hour and a half episode where we look through the upcoming games of 2025 and decide which we're into and which we're all like "no thanks, bro!" Some games that piqued our interest: * Middle Earth Trad-Wife Simulator * The Definitely Going To Release In October Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines 2 * Husky Middle Aged Man Child Tries To Walk * Garfield Kart 2: All You Can Drift * Now You See Me Now You Don't Next Week: Defeat Oboro for the first time! Our Patreon:...
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Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Enchanted Arms Part 3: Cowboys & Plow Boys Square Roots - Episode 467 Quest Log: 33:01 Level Up: 02:01:47 She's from [STATE REDACTED]! And he's from Florida! And HE's from Vancouver! She drinks Chamblee! He drinks IPAs! And the other he drinks Diet Pepsis, and that's okay! Nerd girls & Gator Boys & Canadian Bears, some good ol' podcastairs! All three take the time to go through Enchanted Arms's stairs! Boy, they love a FROM SOFTWARE game! Yeah, we got different tastes, live in different states, but we ain't that different when it comes to classic turn based RPGs! Also: * I'm...
info_outlineGrandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies!
Square Roots - Episode 461
Level Up Starts at 01:53:00
Johnny gets to see Mareg's big manly chest in a pre-rendered cutscene, and he does NOT shut up about it throughout this episode. Sure, the Dreamcast game's pre-rendered cutscenes have the look of 1996's Tekken 2, and the scene is bizarrely animated, but Johnny hasn't been on a date in a while so give him a break. Oh yeah, this week in GameArts's Grandia II we also discover a sword that may have a second purpose! AND GO TO THE MOON!
Also:
Proud Boy King!
Vanessa Will Never See That Ten Dollars!
Elena Likes Drinking Juice And Singing Gospel Songs About Granas!
The Squeak-baa Pasture Is Empty!
Classic Disc Three Crazy!
Uterus! OR Womb! Who knows!
Matt's Manly Football Injury!
This Week: Return to Cyrum!
Next Week: Finish Grandia II!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
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Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com