STTS 144: Bitter Or Better

Have you ever had a moment of absolute anger? What about Outrage over something? A little indignation maybe?

Maybe things didn’t go your way in a situation. Somebody hurt you. A person close to you won’t hear what you are saying. A person wronged you. Someone took advantage of you. You felt disrespected

I’ve been there. I’ve lost my cool over plenty of things that were small. True misunderstanding when the other person didn’t mean it the way I took it.

What about something that is righteously wrong. There is no arguing about it. It was unfair, unjust and unwanted.

Something sexual abuse.

People who abuse the elderly.

Wanton violence that has no purpose but to hurt another.

I have. I’m probably the only one though… wink, wink. Of course, we’ve all been there. We’ve felt the anger at something unjust. We have felt indignation when we see another has had to suffer some indignity such as sexual abuse.

What if when we see things that could lead us to anger or bitterness, we could, in turn, use it to go somewhere better?

One day I'm watching Josh struggle to get into the truck. Nothing really new. He's had to relearn to do things we all take for granted. Walking, talking, eating. Getting run over by a couple of semi-trucks when you are three years old creates challenges in your life.

Today however his challenges were compounded by a neon green cast that encased his left arm. The result of falling over while simply walking. No tripping. Nobody pushing him or falling into him. He simply lost his balance.

As I'm watching him trying to get into the truck and struggling to figure this new scenario out of living with a cast on his arm.

I'm trying to figure it out myself. And as I’m trying to figure it out, I also notice that I'm feeling frustrated over the whole deal. I realize I'm lamenting our situation. I’m angry because we have to go through this as the result of nothing Josh did to himself. But as the result of someone else. The driver of a semi-truck that kept on rolling.

All the emotions of the past challenges and injuries and mishaps and disappointments come rushing into the present moment again.

My feelings of frustration for my son having to go through this are amplified from these events that exist in the past yet are haunting my present.

As I catch myself starting to feel bad about this, I realize I have a choice. I can see this as an ongoing tragedy with all the negative emotions and thoughts that go with it or an opportunity for me to reframe my own thoughts and meanings of the situation to something positive.

And I HAVE to choose. Consciously, I have to make a choice. Am I going to live in the past or the Present? See this as a Tragedy or a Triumph. Become Bitter or Better.

I decide to choose Better. To look for a Triumph. To see this as an opportunity to overcome a monumentally difficult situation that nobody would want in their life and turn it into something good.

The steeper the hill, the stronger the runner becomes.

I choose to be present. To stay relevant. I can't change what landed us here. I can, however, choose how I respond to it.

It took me a while to get to this point. I’m sharing it with you because I understand the emotions that go with life. They are all useful. Even the ones you or I would term negative.

Ones like bitterness, anger, rage. Those emotions point to something that is screaming for attention. Something that if we choose, can exist to make us better and stronger. Not angry and emotionally weaker.

I will never be able to serve my son while I'm limping around feeling sorry for myself or angry at the world. I can only be of value to him if I choose to live in the Present and help him to see his own situation in the best possible light.

I am not suggesting to anyone to sugar coat something. I mean if you take a pile of cow manure, put it in a box, put beautiful wrapping paper on the box and tie it up with a pretty bow, it’s still poop.

I can, however, take that horse manure, and with a little work and a little time, I can turn it into fertilizer and grow something beautiful or nourishing with it.

Bitter doesn’t move life forward. Bitter doesn’t leave us feeling good. Bitter doesn’t create positive energy in my life or yours.

This is our Path here on earth. This is our Journey. This is the road we travel on.

To hell with Bitter. I want Better.