Tap for any issue with these 4 steps (Pod #726)

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Just because we know the power of tapping doesn't mean we know exactly the best way to tap. Today I'm going to share the simple four-part formula I use for almost every single tapping script I write for my clients, for the videos I make, and when I'm tapping on my own.

Where This Formula Came From

Recently I was talking with one of my clients, and she wanted to do some tapping around being able to create some YouTube videos. She wasn't looking to create videos for the general public. Instead, she wanted to create videos just to share with her family, so they could tap a little more and make tapping easier for them, since they know so little about it. After we did some work on the insecurity of being on camera and producing something good, we started talking about how I actually create tapping scripts.

It's not just me talking. There's a very specific formula, and it came out of years of working with thousands of clients and doing tens of thousands of rounds of tapping. Some of that recognition came from paying attention to what was happening in the moment, and a lot of it came from going back and re-listening to those sessions. What I found is that there are four parts that show up in every single one of my rounds of tapping. If you go look at any of the videos I've produced over the last three or four years where you see tapping scripts, you'll see this formula over and over again.

The four-part formula works for any issue at all. It could be a limiting belief, a physical sensation, a struggle to take action, whatever it is. It doesn't matter what the issue is. These four steps work every time as a jumping-off point and as a framework.

Step One: State What's Going On and How You Feel About It

The first step is no different than sitting down with a friend and talking about what's going on in your life. Let's say it's a limiting belief that's holding you back from taking action. It might sound something like, "I really want to create these videos, but I just can't get myself to sit down and do it. I'm disappointed, I'm frustrated, I'm overwhelmed."

All you're doing is saying what's going on and how you feel about it. There might be multiple details and multiple feelings, and that's fine. Give yourself permission to roll through it, chapter and verse. This is what's going on. This is how I feel about it. You can even say what you don't know: I'm not exactly sure what's going on, or I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's just honest reporting.

The first part is simply providing witness to what's going on in your life. Say what you know, say how you feel about it. Say what you don't know, say how you feel about that too.

Step Two: Recognize and Appreciate the System's Intent

The second step is recognizing that our system is trying to keep us safe and healthy. There's a difference between our system wanting to keep us healthy and actually keeping us healthy, but that's what it's trying to do.

For example, resistance to taking action is trying to keep me safe because my system is afraid of that action. So the second part of this formula is pointing out what the resistance is trying to do. My system is resisting this task right now because it's afraid I'm going to get in trouble, or afraid I'm going to get judged. Once we've acknowledged what it's trying to do, we appreciate that intention. I appreciate the fact that my resistance is trying to keep me safe.

Here's something key to notice. We are not saying, "I appreciate the fact that I am resisting taking action." Instead, we're appreciating the intention to keep us safe. That means we're no longer fighting with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief. We're appreciating that it's our body trying to communicate something with us and trying to keep us safe.

There's a real difference between affirming something's intention and affirming what it's doing. If I'm just saying "stop this, stop this, stop this," I'm battling with myself. Think about working with someone in your life who's acting from good intention but causing problems. It's much easier to get them to act in a new way if you start by saying, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful." That gets them on your side. We're doing the exact same thing with the stories we carry in our subconscious mind and the resistance we're feeling.

Step Three: Let It Know How It's Getting in the Way

This is where the reframe starts to happen. Now we share with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief how it is getting in the way. I appreciate the fact that this part wants me to be safe, but if I don't take action, I'm not going to grow my business. If I don't take action, I'm going to miss out on opportunities. Even though it's trying to keep me safe, it's actually putting me in danger.

Step Four: Let It Know What You Want Instead

The fourth step is letting the system know what we want instead. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to keep me safe, and I want to be safe as I'm taking action. As the fear diminishes, that doesn't mean I'm going to be thoughtless or reckless or careless.

We're not trying to get rid of the fear, we're trying to turn the fear down. We're not trying to get rid of the resistance, we're trying to make it proportionate and well-informed. We're not trying to eliminate the pain, we're trying to let the system know we hear the pain and we're taking appropriate action, so it no longer needs to sound the alarm.

Putting It Together

To recap the four steps:

1. State what's going on and how you feel about it.
2. Appreciate the fact that your system is trying to keep you healthy.
3. Let your system know how it's getting in the way.
4. Tell your system what you'd like instead.

When I create thirty days of tapping topics, for example, I take each topic and think about my own experience where I'm struggling with it, then I just move through these four steps in my mind. I don't hold all four at once. It's simply: what's step one? What's going on, and how do I feel? When that feels like it's extinguished and worked its way out, I move to step two: this is what my system is trying to tell me. Then step three: this is how it's getting in the way. Then step four: this is what I want my system to know instead.

It's not about a specific number of words, phrases, or taps. You're working through the idea until you've worked through the idea. After a round of tapping, take a deep breath, tune back in, and work through the process again. What do I notice and how do I feel now? What is my system trying to tell me now? How is this still getting in the way? What information do I need to reinforce or introduce as new?

When In Doubt, Just Do Step One

If you're in the moment and feeling really emotionally charged, it's often enough to just do step one. Months ago, I was working with a client who was really struggling with an anger issue. I told her that between now and our next session, the tapping I'd like her to do is simply: "I'm really angry because. I'm really angry because. I'm really angry because." She asked what to do next, and I told her nothing, that's it.

When we engage that way, fully articulated emotions tend to be short-lived. So if we're tapping and going through that process, it can make a huge difference. It really is that simple.

Those are the four steps I use every single time I create a tapping script: state what's going on, appreciate the fact that my system's trying to keep me healthy, let my system know how it's getting in the way, and tell the system what I'd like instead. Work through those four things and you'll be surprised how easy it becomes.