Divorce Deals 101: What to Know Before You Make or Accept a Deal With Your Ex
Release Date: 05/07/2025
The Divorce Course Podcast
Listen to this episode if… You're in the middle of a separation and unsure what advice to follow Friends, family, or Facebook have told you "what to do" You’ve heard you can’t leave the house without losing everything You feel pressured not to bring up domestic violence You’re confused about disclosure, super splitting, or property rights 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING...
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Listen to this episode if... You’ve been offered child inclusive mediation and don’t know what to expect You’re worried about how separation is affecting your child You’re in a high-conflict co-parenting situation or dealing with coercive control You’ve been told that involving your child in mediation will “help” You want to make informed, child-centered decisions in your family law journey 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This...
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Listen to this episode if... You’re newly separated and trying to figure out parenting arrangements. You don’t have court orders yet and things are already getting tense. Your ex is unreliable, manipulative, or emotionally unpredictable. You're feeling pressured to agree to arrangements that feel unsafe or unfair. You want to avoid court but don’t want to be taken advantage of. Trying to co-parent after separation without court orders? This episode offers a general discussion that may help you better understand the common challenges many face during this stage. Mum and I...
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Listen to this episode if... You're divorcing or separating from someone who owns or runs a business. You're in a family business with your ex and things are getting murky. You suspect your ex is hiding assets or undervaluing the business. You’re overwhelmed by the complexity of business valuations in divorce. You're preparing for mediation or court and want to understand your options. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. Divorcing a business...
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🎧 Listen to this episode if… You constantly walk away from conversations with your ex feeling drained, confused, or second-guessing yourself. Co-parenting feels more like a battleground than teamwork. You suspect your ex might be narcissistic or manipulative, but you’re not sure what to do about it. You want to learn how to protect your children emotionally while staying calm and in control. You’re tired of being baited into fights and want tools to respond, not react. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma...
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🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💔 You’ve left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. 🧠 You’re trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. 💬 You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. 💪 You’re ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. 🌸 You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. 💫 You just need to hear that full recovery is possible ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma...
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🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💬 You’ve got mediation coming up and don’t know where to start. 😰 You’re feeling stressed or unprepared to face your ex about custody or property. 📑 You want to know what to bring and how to prepare your documents. ⚖️ You need tips for negotiating calmly and confidently. 🚩 You’re dealing with a high-conflict or manipulative ex. 💸 You want to avoid costly mistakes and stay out of family court. 🧠 You just want to feel ready and in control on the day. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control,...
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Listen to This Episode If You… 🏠 Have been told divorce property settlements are always 50/50 🤔 Want to understand how contributions (financial and non-financial) are weighed ⚖️ Are trying to figure out how your future needs affect your share 💰 Suspect your ex has wasted or hidden money and want to know what that means 📝 Need to know whether you can work out percentages yourself or need a lawyer 🧾 Are preparing for mediation or property negotiations and want strategies to stay strong 👶 Want to know how parenting responsibilities and children’s needs affect percentages...
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🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… ✨ Are in the middle of property and custody negotiations ⚖️ Have an ex who’s threatened to push for more custody unless you agree to property terms 🏡 Want to understand how family courts consider housing and children’s needs in property settlement 😟 Are worried about being pressured or manipulated during mediation 💡 Want practical strategies to protect your kids’ best interests and your financial future ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌...
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🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… You’re separated but can’t afford to move out of the family home. You’re afraid leaving means you’ll lose your rights to the house. Your ex refuses to cooperate, acknowledge the separation, or leave. You’re experiencing coercive control or financial abuse after separation. Episode Summary Separation is hard enough — but what happens when you and your ex are still living under the same roof? For many, moving out simply isn’t an option: finances are tight, safety is uncertain, and myths about “losing the house” keep people trapped in...
info_outlineOne of the most underestimated parts of separation are— settlement offers. Whether you’re negotiating parenting arrangements, property division, or both, knowing how and when to make (or respond to) an offer can save you stress, time, and serious money.
We break down how settlement offers work, when to consider using Calderbank letters, how Section 117C of the Family Law Act affects legal costs, and the emotional traps that can trip you up during negotiation. We also talk about avoiding lowball traps, the risks of ignoring offers, and what to do if you’re dealing with an avoidant or high-conflict ex.
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general legal discussion only. Always seek independent legal advice before making decisions about your case.
🎧 Listen to This Episode If You:
📬 You’ve just received an offer and don’t know what to do
📝 You’re drafting an offer and want to avoid costly mistakes
🤯 You’re confused about Calderbank offers or “without prejudice” negotiations
⚖️ You want to protect yourself from future legal costs
⏳ You’re wondering when the best time is to make an offer
😨 You’re worried your ex will use offers to manipulate or delay things
💬 You need tips for negotiating with high-conflict or avoidant exes
💡 You want to feel more confident and strategic about settlement
0:00 – legal disclaimer
1:00 – Why settlement offers are the key to ending court drama and legal stress
2:00 – What’s the point of making an offer if your ex is high-conflict or controlling?
3:30 – How making an offer (even if rejected) can help you with legal costs
5:00 – What are “party and party” costs and how much can you actually recover?
6:30 – Why you MUST put all offers in writing — and how to do it right
7:30 – Tips for structuring your offer: how to make it clear and court-friendly
9:00 – What happens when an offer is accepted — and how to turn it into consent orders
10:30 – Do you still have to go to court if you’ve accepted an offer?
12:30 – When’s the best time to make a settlement offer?
14:00 – Why timing matters and how it could impact a cost order
16:30 – Should you lowball or highball your offer like Facebook Marketplace?
18:00 – Mediation vs formal offers — what negotiation tactics are acceptable?
19:30 – What to ask yourself before you make an offer you might regret
21:30 – Mental prep: why understanding “fair” in the legal system is essential
24:00 – How guilt, people-pleasing, or pressure can lead to bad decisions
26:30 – The danger of controlling exes and how your history may influence your judgment
28:00 – What does “without prejudice” mean and why does it matter in negotiations?
30:00 – How to write a strong, effective, and strategic settlement offer
31:30 – What to do if you receive a last-minute or unreasonable offer
33:00 – Can you put time limits on offers? Are they enforceable?
34:30 – How to request more time or more information before accepting
36:00 – What if the offer is close, but not quite right? Counter-offer strategies
37:30 – Should your new partner, family, or friends be involved in decisions?
39:00 – Section 117C of the Family Law Act and how costs get awarded
41:00 – What if you ignore an offer completely?
43:00 – The emotional toll of negotiating and the power of staying objective
45:00 – Final tips for successful settlement negotiations
48:00 – Understanding your worst and best-case court outcomes before accepting
49:00 – A final reminder to always seek legal advice and protect your future
🔑 Key Topics Discussed
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What makes a good settlement offer — and why timing matters
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How Calderbank offers work and why they can protect you legally
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What Section 117C of the Family Law Act says about court-ordered costs
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The risks of ignoring or rejecting offers (especially in family court)
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When to negotiate and when to stand your ground
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Tips for writing a clear and strategic offer
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What happens if your offer is accepted (and what to do next)
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How to deal with unreasonable or manipulative exes
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Why offers must always be documented in writing
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What to do if you're pressured into accepting an offer you're unsure about
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The emotional reality of negotiation — and why it's okay to take your time
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Who should be involved in helping you assess or make an offer (spoiler: not your new partner!)
📎 Links & Resources Mentioned
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☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support
☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support
📧 Email the show: thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com -
⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:
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💜 Women’s Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811
⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website
📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14
👨👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978
👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800
🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732
🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123
🎙️ Related Episodes
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Calderbank Offers https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=tJCQ-bSlSz-6YOl2jRgr4Q
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Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
📧 Email the show: thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com
⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:
💜 Women’s Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811
⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website
📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14
👨👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978
👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800
🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732
🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123
☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support
☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support
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