BATNA in Divorce: How to Negotiate Property and Parenting Like a Pro

Listen to This Episode If You…
🔍 Are heading into mediation and want to feel prepared, not panicked
⚖️ Want to make smart decisions about property and parenting outcomes
🧠 Have heard of BATNA but don’t quite know what it means or how to use it
🚪 Are unsure what your “walk-away” option looks like in negotiations
💬 Feel pressured to agree to something that doesn’t feel fair or safe
🧾 Want to understand your options without relying solely on court
🛠️ Are looking for practical, tips to empower your next steps

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is general information only and is not legal advice. Always seek professional legal support for your specific situation. 📌 Trigger warning: discussions of family court and family violence. 

Are you heading into mediation or negotiating a divorce agreement?
This episode is your practical guide to understanding BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and WATNA (Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)—two essential tools to protect your future.

An experienced lawyer and mediator walks you through how to prepare your own BATNA, why it’s important in family law (especially when emotions are high), and how it gives you clarity and confidence when facing tricky decisions about property, parenting, and more.

If you’re unsure what’s fair or fearful of being pushed into a bad deal, this episode will help you step back, assess your options, and negotiate smarter.

BATNA in Divorce: How to Negotiate Property and Parenting Like a Pro

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Cover:

[00:00] – What Are BATNA and WATNA? Introduction to Divorce Negotiation Strategies

[01:31] – How Do BATNA and WATNA Help You Make Better Divorce Decisions?

[02:29] – Why Is Preparation the Key to Stronger Negotiations?

[04:19] – What Can You Learn from Real-Life Mediation Examples?

[08:28] – How Do You Create a BATNA for Property Settlement After Divorce?

[17:09] – What Are the Steps to Build a BATNA for Parenting and Custody Arrangements?

[21:49] – What Is the Emotional Cost of Going to Court Instead of Settling?

[23:15] – How Do Courts Prioritize the Best Interests of the Children?

[24:04] – What Role Do Family Reports and Child-Inclusive Mediation Play?

[25:22] – How Can a BATNA-Based Parenting Plan Help You Prepare?

[26:22] – What Is a WATNA and Why Should You Know Your Worst-Case Scenario?

[28:04] – What Are Red Flags and Manipulative Tactics to Watch for in Mediation?

[32:45] – What Financial Disclosure Do You Need for Fair Negotiations?

[33:57] – How Can Knowledge and Preparation Empower You in Family Law Negotiations?

[39:26] – What Are Your Next Steps to Negotiate Smarter and Safer?

Questions 

BATNA for Property Settlement

1. List All Assets and Debts (the Property Pool)
   
   

   • Include houses, cars, superannuation, bank accounts, loans, credit cards, etc.
     
     

   • Make sure you also list post-separation contributions (e.g., mortgage payments, childcare, etc.).
     
     

2. Identify What You Need Financially
   
   

   • Calculate your living expenses and future financial needs.
     
     

   • Consider your housing needs, especially if you're the primary carer of children.
     
     

3. Understand What the Law Might Award You
   
   

   • Review how courts typically divide property in similar cases.
     
     

   • Think about contributions, future needs, and Section 79(2) & (5) of the Family Law Act.
     
     

4. Consider What You’d Get If You Went to Court
   
   

   • Estimate legal costs, time delays, and emotional toll.
     
     

   • This court outcome becomes your BATNA (or WATNA if it’s worse than a fair settlement).
     
     

5. Build a Realistic Plan B
   
   

   • Example: “If we can’t agree, I’ll apply for consent orders, or go to mediation, or file in court.”
     
     

   • Include practical details — e.g., who will live where, interim arrangements, etc.
     
     

---

BATNA for Children’s Arrangements

1. Write Out What’s Best for the Children
   
   

   • Consider their schooling, routines, health needs, and emotional safety.
     
     

2. Outline a Parenting Plan That You Think Is Fair
   
   

   • Include time with each parent, holidays, special events, decision-making responsibility.
     
     

3. Assess Your Ex’s Likely Position
   
   

   • What are they asking for? Is it reasonable? What might they agree to under pressure?
     
     

4. Research What a Court Might Do
   
   

   • Courts focus on the “best interests of the child” under Section 60CC of the Family Law Act.
     
     

   • Understand how risk factors (like family violence) may impact parenting decisions.
     
     

5. Create Your BATNA Parenting Plan
   
   

   • If you don’t reach agreement, what’s the next best option? (e.g., apply for interim orders, request a Child Impact Report, or attend family dispute resolution).

🧠 Want more tools like this?
Check out our other episodes on mediation, property settlement, and high-conflict negotiation strategies at thedivorcecourse.com.au.

Episodes Mentioned

Master your negotiations Iron Fist in a velvet glove https://open.spotify.com/episode/7D54dfjnCBW6pfkxnbgW2f?si=il_ZZ384T2KgbzQFmzB61g

 

Can you really mediate with a narcissist? 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11?si=bFaYC3hyQjyCL67k0ZW2uQ

Financial Fairness: Spousal Maintenance and Child Support

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3S73M140m759WcOrrKms2k?si=Fz4UCZkIQmiyfcfVJ4CxBg

 

Disclosure the what where why how

https://open.spotify.com/episode/07olqt4NN0MQQ0Y5KiHkP2?si=kRpLYf9YRF6FCAtYAzU7Bg

Overcoming Disclosure Dilemmas

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=MsizEEDsS3y9z7CbXeCgrQ

When your mediation goes wrong and what to do next

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv?si=A70GJh9pQDSfKn6OEz7VPQ

Support Services:
💜 Women’s Shelter Service: 1800 811 811
⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state’s Legal Aid website
📞 Lifeline (24/7): 13 11 14
👨‍👧‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800
🚨 1800 RESPECT – National DV Hotline: [phone]