S2E18 - Choices, Consequences, and Catching the Bus: A Play Therapy Approach to School Morning Power Struggles
Play Therapy Parenting Podcast
Release Date: 06/27/2024
Play Therapy Parenting Podcast
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom navigating intense bedtime struggles with her highly anxious daughter. When emotions escalate and her child feels panicked or overwhelmed, she questions whether enforcing boundaries might seem insensitive. I break down what’s really going on—how anxiety drives a need for control—and why bedtime often becomes the battleground. Using child-centered strategies, I walk through how to respond in ways that honor both the child’s emotions and the parent's need for structure, sleep, and sanity. I explain how to set compassionate boundaries,...
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In this episode, I respond to a question from Hannah in England about her 3.5-year-old son who is regressing in his toilet training—especially around poop. I walk through how power struggles, control, and developmental readiness all play a role in potty setbacks. I explain how enforcement choices from the child-centered model can be used to return responsibility to the child, allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their decisions without nagging, pressure, or shame. We also talk about why school-based strategies like sticker charts and bathroom schedules often make things...
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In this episode, I respond to a question from Whitney about her six-year-old son’s negative self-talk and self-harming behaviors—things like calling himself “stupid” or hitting himself after making a mistake. I explain why these behaviors are often rooted in low self-esteem, anxiety, and low frustration tolerance—and why it’s not about attention or defiance, but maladaptive coping. I walk through how to set clear, compassionate limits on self-harm while offering healthy alternatives for emotional release. I also share how to support his self-concept through encouragement and...
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In this episode, I answer an email from Sarah, a mom whose two boys are in school-based play therapy and who is just beginning to learn about the child-centered approach. Sarah shares her excitement, questions, and challenges as she starts to apply what she’s learned—especially the difficulty of knowing what to do in the moment with strong emotions. I talk about the common struggle parents face when trying something new: your brain goes blank. I explain why that happens, how CCPT is like learning a new language, and what to do instead of getting discouraged. I offer practical tips for...
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In this episode, I talk about how to have honest, age-appropriate conversations with your child when a death occurs—especially when it’s sudden and unexpected. I walk through how to talk to children in a way that gives them truth without overwhelming them, and why sparing them from information often does more harm than good. I also explain how grief looks different in children than in adults, how developmental stages impact the grieving process over time, and how to support your child through those recurring waves. I share practical suggestions for closure, guidance on when to seek...
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In this episode, I respond to Sunny from Australia, who shares her family's ongoing bedtime struggle with her 6.5-year-old daughter—an intelligent, big-feeling child working through anxiety and night terrors. After a year of consistency that led to sleep deprivation and exhaustion, Sunny and her partner ultimately let their daughter sleep on a separate bed in their room. Now, they’re wondering how to help her transition back to her own bedroom. I explain the underlying reasons why anxious kids resist sleeping alone and how control becomes their coping strategy. I also outline a gradual,...
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In this episode, I answer a question from Claire, a mom of 4-year-old twins, who’s navigating the challenges of potty training and trying to decide if limits or consequences are appropriate when accidents happen. I talk through the developmental reality of toileting at this age, the somatic and emotional components that impact bodily regulation, and why accidents—even when a child “should know better”—are often not about defiance. I also share why I don’t recommend using rewards or taking things away for potty behavior, and how to respond calmly and neutrally with a gentle reminder...
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In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby—a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching—for an important conversation about how our struggles as parents affect our kids, especially during seasons of divorce, separation, or personal crisis. We explore what parents need to know when navigating big transitions, why your own emotional health directly influences your child’s, and how to make decisions with confidence and clarity. We also talk about co-parenting with intention, modeling emotional resilience, and why being the...
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In this episode, I answer a question from Sabrina about her 10-year-old daughter who suddenly refused to continue play therapy after just a few weeks. She now says she’d rather journal or talk with her mom instead. Sabrina wonders if play at home can bring the same results as therapy and how to navigate this resistance. I explain the four phases of play therapy, why resistance is a natural and expected part of the process, and how avoiding therapy can reinforce anxiety rather than resolve it. I also discuss the key components that make play therapy effective—relationship, time, tools, and...
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In this episode, I answer a question from Anne in Germany about her three-year-old daughter who refuses to choose when given enforcement choices. Instead of picking an option, she repeatedly says nothing, creating a power struggle around limit-setting. I explain why choosing "nothing" is still a choice and how to handle this scenario without engaging in a battle of wills. I walk through how to calmly and confidently remind children that choosing not to choose means the parent will choose for them—and why this approach teaches self-control, responsibility, and cause-and-effect thinking. If...
info_outlineIn this episode, I address a question from Noel about managing morning routines and getting kids ready for school on time. As many parents can relate, the struggle to get children dressed, fed, and out the door for the bus is a common challenge. I share insights from a child-centered play therapy approach to make mornings easier and less stressful for everyone involved.
I emphasize the importance of providing choices to children, especially the night before, to create buy-in and ownership. This approach helps reduce power struggles and nagging in the morning. I also share a personal story from my childhood to illustrate the power of natural consequences. The key takeaway is the concept of "ultimate choice-giving," where children are given clear options and allowed to experience the results of their decisions. This method encourages self-regulation and intrinsic motivation.
Throughout the episode, I provide practical examples of implementing these strategies, including specific language to use with children. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral while acknowledging children's choices and feelings. By consistently applying these techniques, parents can create more peaceful mornings and help their children develop self-regulation.
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Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.