The Narcissist, The “Let Them” Theory, And Internal Family Systems
No Visible Bruises
In this episode of No Visible Bruises, I’m exploring something that’s gone viral recently, Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory and whether it actually supports or harms survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control.On the surface, the “Let Them” approach sounds freeing. Let them ignore you. Let them walk away. Let them show you who they are.But when you’re a survivor, especially someone recovering from relational trauma, “letting them” isn’t always simple. It can activate shame, abandonment wounds, or even put you back in harm’s way.So today, I’m...
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The Physiology of Gaslighting
No Visible Bruises
Before we dive in, I’m thrilled to invite you to a free live masterclass I’m hosting, “Pain to Purpose: Building a Trauma Informed Business for Survivors of Narcissistic & Domestic Abuse.” on Sunday, the 29th of June. I’ll pop the link below and if you can join me live, fantastic. But even if you can’t, still register and I’ll send you the recording. If you’re reading this after the date of the 29th, still click on the link and I’ll send the recording over. Alone I can do so little, but collectively we can really facilitate a change in the world around narcissistic abuse,...
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The Stealthy Danger Of The Covert Narcissist
No Visible Bruises
In this episode, we shine a light on one of the most misunderstood forms of narcissistic abuse……..the covert narcissist. Unlike the loud, arrogant narcissist that many imagine, the covert narcissist operates in far more subtle and insidious ways. They may seem shy, quiet, or even vulnerable to the outside world but behind closed doors, the manipulation runs deep. In this episode, I explore: • What makes covert narcissistic abuse so hard to identify • Why survivors often doubt themselves and struggle to explain what’s happening • How covert narcissists use guilt, shame, victimhood,...
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My Survivor Story Of Covert Narcissistic Abuse - Divorce, Debt & Depression
No Visible Bruises
In this powerful and personal episode, I share my own survivor story as a woman who lived through the devastation of covert narcissistic abuse. I open up about the day my life completely changed when my covert narcissistic ex walked out, leaving me with two children, over £70,000 of debt, and a nervous system in collapse. I spiralled into depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and eventually complex PTSD. I lost my home, my confidence, and for a long time, my sense of self. This episode is for anyone who’s ever questioned their reality. Anyone who has been told it wasn’t abuse because there...
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Narcissistic Abuse, Food Noise & Metabolic Disorder
No Visible Bruises
Narcissistic Abuse, Food Noise & Metabolic Disorder In this episode, I’m joined by Nikki Antonaccio, who shares how surviving narcissistic abuse as a child shaped everything from her relationship with food to her metabolism and how that trauma rewired her behaviour in ways that didn’t make sense until much later.We talk about how trauma from narcissistic abuse doesn’t just live in the mind, it lodges itself in the body, in the nervous system, in metabolism. For Nikki, it showed up as people-pleasing, chronic stress, disordered eating and shutdown and it’s not a lack of willpower....
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My Childhood & Narcissistic Abuse Caused My Lyme Disease
No Visible Bruises
This is not the kind of story that wraps up neatly with a bow. Rebecca Fraser’s story is raw, messy, and unfinished because healing after deep betrayal, family fracture, and years of abusive relationships with narcissists is never clean or simple. It’s the kind of survival story that digs into the parts most people don’t want to talk about, the shame, the loneliness, the repeated heartbreak, and the unbearable weight of carrying trauma in your body for years.In this episode, Rebecca shares her lived experience of growing up in a home torn apart by infidelity and addiction, being cast as...
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Narcissistic Marriage, Alcoholic Mother & Emotionally Unavailable Father
No Visible Bruises
In today’s episode, I sit down with Radka Crossley, an incredibly courageous woman whose story will stay with you long after the episode ends. Radka spent 18 years in an abusive marriage to a narcissist, but the roots of her pain began long before that. Raised by an alcoholic mother and an emotionally unavailable father, her nervous system was wired for survival from a very young age. Together, we explore how her early childhood environment shaped the parts of her that tolerated abuse, ignored red flags, and questioned her own worth. This episode is a powerful exploration of inner child...
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Cocaine Numbed The Pain Of Narcissistic Abuse
No Visible Bruises
In today’s episode, I interview Mandy Metters, a recovered cocaine addict. You’ll hear her story of resilience, strength and shame that because of her abuse, she turned to drugs to numb out the pain of feeling worthless. She grew up with a narcissistic, alcoholic father and was diagnosed with bi polar. Or was this all because of trauma? Mandy’s courage and resilience shine through alongside the pain of the shame. You will see us examine those shame parts of her and the emotions still trapped in her body due to the trauma of experiencing narcissistic abuse. This one is definitely for you...
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Narcissistic Abuse & Cheating - A True Story of Bigamy
No Visible Bruises
In our 2nd episode of my rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, I sit down with Sandra Dec. I knew this would be a raw yet familiar conversation about narcissistic abuse. But very quickly, her story unfolded into something far more complex, a web of betrayal, cheating, hidden pasts, and shocking truths that could rival any Netflix drama. What began as love was built on lies- bigamy, secret families, manipulation, and the slow erosion of self-worth. But Sandra’s story is not just about what happened to...
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Narcissistic Abuse Caused My Rheumatoid Arthritis
No Visible Bruises
Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological. In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. This conversation is one not to miss. We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What...
info_outlineIn our 2nd episode of my rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, I sit down with Sandra Dec. I knew this would be a raw yet familiar conversation about narcissistic abuse. But very quickly, her story unfolded into something far more complex, a web of betrayal, cheating, hidden pasts, and shocking truths that could rival any Netflix drama.
What began as love was built on lies- bigamy, secret families, manipulation, and the slow erosion of self-worth. But Sandra’s story is not just about what happened to her. It’s about how she survived… and how she healed.
In this episode, we explore how trauma lives in the body and how reconnecting with physical awareness and grounding practices can help you heal. We unpack the patterns of deception and narcissistic abuse that creep in over time, often rooted in childhood wounds and shaped by familiar dynamics from narcissistic parenting.
We talk about emotional and financial abuse, the invisible kind, the slow self-sacrifice, the erosion of identity, the subtle control that doesn’t leave bruises. We go deep into the confusing experience of reactive abuse and self-blame, where victims are left doubting themselves more than their abuser.
And we explore why leaving isn’t as simple as walking away and how survival responses, fear, physiology, and a longing for love can keep people stuck in places they know are breaking them.
But this is also a story of rising. Of breaking generational cycles. Of embracing the shadow self and finding safety in truth, self-love, and the courage to reclaim identity.
This episode is for anyone who has ever doubted their reality. Who’s ever stayed too long. Who has ever been cheated on. Who’s learning to trust themselves again.
Sandra’s story will stay with you, not just because of the twists and turns, but because of her strength, her honesty, and the light she now shines for others.
So take a deep breath, and press play. This one is powerful.
Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.