Resolving Conflict Using IFS with David Hoffman
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 08/17/2025
Connection After Loss with Liz Brenner
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
This episode didn't go as planned, and I'm grateful it didn't. I invited Liz Brenner on the podcast to talk about the Family Process article on the family systems roots of IFS she co-authored with Dick Schwartz and Carol Becker in 2023. Instead, we found ourselves talking about grief. A month before we recorded, my dad died unexpectedly. Liz lost her partner, Dan, in 2018, just six weeks after his cancer diagnosis. We both came into the conversation still processing our losses, and grief was the conversation we needed to have. Takeaways Grief can break you, and it can also heal...
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Trauma Coaching and Addiction Recovery with Achara Tarfa
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
My guest on today's episode is Achara Tarfa. She is a certified IFS practitioner, co-founder of the Global Trauma Institute, and director of the PATH program. We talk about finding IFS, what trauma coaching offers that therapy often doesn't, and why she and her co-founders built GTI to create the spaces they needed but couldn't find. Takeaways IFS gave Achara language for her own anger for the first time When the people you turn to for help fail you, the harm compounds. Achara experienced this firsthand and it shaped everything she built Trauma coaching isn't replacing therapy. It's...
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Parts and Perimenopause with Melissa Monahan — IFS for the Transition Nobody Warned Us About
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
I didn't know frozen shoulder was a perimenopause symptom. Neither did Melissa Monahan, this week's podcast guest, and she's a therapist living through it herself. This week Melissa joins me on the podcast to talk about the mental health side of perimenopause and menopause, and what IFS can offer women going through it. She's an IFS Level 2 therapist and host of , a podcast and Substack for women in this chapter of life -- and the people who love them. In this episode we talk about the changes happening in our inner worlds during this transition, and how IFS can help us make sense of and...
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When Good Moms Feel Bad with Jessica Tomich Sorci
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I welcome Jessica Tomich Sorci to the podcast. She's a therapist, perinatal mental health specialist, and creator of the Mom Parts Method. She's spent 15 years working with moms and noticed the same parts showing up, so she began naming them, then created a methodology and a new book. Her Mom Parts Method is a five-step IFS-based process specifically for mothers. It starts with a meditation to connect with a triggering experience, then moves through naming which parts showed up, speaking truths on their behalf, noticing underlying shame or grief, and identifying what...
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Grieving Wholeheartedly with Audrey Davidheiser
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Dr. Audrey Davidheiser back to the podcast. Her latest book, Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing for Every Part of Your Soul, is an IFS guide to loss that views grief as a collection of parts, each carrying something specific, each needing to be met. Audrey is a licensed psychologist, certified IFS therapist, and founder of the Los Angeles Dream Center, where she specializes in trauma and religious trauma. She's also someone who lost her father suddenly seven years ago and rebuilt her practice and her inner life from the ground up. Takeaways Grief doesn't...
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Move Toward: IFS Simplified with Jenna Riemersma
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
I'm excited to welcome Jenna Riemersma back on the podcast for the third time to talk about her new book. She's a certified IFS therapist, bestselling author, and someone committed to making IFS accessible to everyone. Her new book, Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You, gives you a simple way to work with parts in the real world, in real time. In This Episode The three-step Move Toward tool: Notice, Know, Need How Self Energy can transform a room of people What Self-led action looks like when you're in a toxic relationship or a power-down position Parts-led...
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Hope and Care for Caregivers with Risa Adams, Robin Beardsley, and Elizabeth Parsons
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome to the podcast Drs. Risa Adams, Robin Beardsley, and Elizabeth Parsons. They are family physicians turned psychotherapists who came together during the pandemic to write, find community, and speak for their parts. What they found in that process and wrote about in their new book, It Doesn't Have To Be This Way: A Physician's Guide To Radical Self Care (by three physicians who've been there), is something most caregivers, doctors, healthcare workers, therapists, parents, partners, anyone who finds their worth in being needed, will recognize. In This Episode The parts that...
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Externalizing IFS for Neurodivergence and Complex Trauma with Irina Diyankova
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode, was one of our most popular. This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients. Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what’s happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn’t a cookie-cutter model. We all...
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IFS for Everyday Life with Joanna Curry-Sartori
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions. Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what’s happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts,...
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An Army of Healers with Nitsan Joy Gordon
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it’s like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening...
info_outlineIn today's episode, I chat with David Hoffman, a lawyer, mediator, and a founding member of Boston Law Collaborative. David was named "Lawyer of the Year" in Boston, and he even teaches at Harvard!
I love how he's using IFS to help people with conflict. We talk about how IFS has shifted his focus from getting people to settle, to helping them make Self-led choices.
We discuss:
- How does a lawyer and mediator bring the language of parts into a legal setting?
- What is the "reasonable reason" behind "unreasonable behavior" in conflict?
- How can we make decisions from a place of "Self-led" wisdom rather than from our "gladiator parts?"
- How can simply naming a part change the dynamic of a conversation? David shares an example of how saying "there's a greedy part" shifted a negotiation for the better.
- How does the IFS model help us understand ambivalence and the "negotiation within" that happens before we even enter a conflict?
This episode is sponsored by the Internal Family Systems institute. Join renowned attorney and mediator David Hoffman for a six-week live workshop starting this October. Explore how the IFS model can support lawyers, mediators, and conflict professionals to lead with more clarity, compassion, and Self — with special guest appearances by Dick Schwartz, Mike Elkin, and Fatimah Finney, this program offers practical tools for navigating client engagement, negotiation, and ethical decision-making. Space is limited and live attendance is required. Learn more and register now at ifs-institute.com.
About David Hoffman
David Hoffman, a mediator, arbitrator, and founding member of Boston Law Collaborative, has been a leading voice in bringing the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to the legal community since 2010. He holds Level One IFS training and has co-presented with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz. A plenary speaker at the 2022 IFSI Conference, his work has been featured in the Harvard Negotiation Law Review, where he authored a seminal article on "Mediation, Multiple Minds, and Managing the Negotiation Within." In addition to his private practice, he serves as the John H. Watson, Jr. Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he integrates the IFS model into his courses.
About The One Inside:
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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who helps therapists create with clarity and confidence.
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