Resolving Conflict Using IFS with David Hoffman
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 08/17/2025
Externalizing IFS for Neurodivergence and Complex Trauma with Irina Diyankova
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode, was one of our most popular. This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients. Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what’s happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn’t a cookie-cutter model. We all...
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IFS for Everyday Life with Joanna Curry-Sartori
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions. Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what’s happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts,...
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An Army of Healers with Nitsan Joy Gordon
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it’s like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening...
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Are You Mad At Me? with Meg Josephson
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast. Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how “being nice” can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what’s really happening inside. If you’ve ever swallowed your needs to keep the...
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Integrating IFS and Listening Therapies with Marcella Cox
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In today’s episode, I welcome my friend Marcella Cox back to the podcast. Marcella is a certified IFS therapist, approved consultant, and somatic IFS assistant trainer. She’s also a certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore provider, and the lead author of the new guidelines for integrating IFS with these listening therapies. We talk about: The basics of polyvagal theory How our nervous system states impact our parts Why co-regulation is central to healing The difference between SSP (connection to others) and Rest and Restore (connection to Self) How listening...
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The Courage to Start with the Ending - with Keith Miller and Courtney Corona
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I chat with Keith and Courtney, cohosts of the podcast . Keith is licensed therapist and a Level 3 IFS Consultant, and Courtney is journalist and podcaster. They joined me to share their beautiful, messy love story. We dive into the courage it takes to start over, the "trauma" of the dating apps, and how they’ve used Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychedelics to navigate the "breakups, breakdowns, and breakthroughs" of their relationship . We discuss: Starting relationships with truth instead of performance. Radical transparency — “starting with the ending”...
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Our Parts Are Angels In Disguise with David Stern
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I welcome my friend David Stern to the podcast. This conversation feels so perfect right now. It’s full of the kind of hope we all need. David has this beautiful way of seeing the spiritual dimension in everything we do. David calls us to remember our "Pure Soul"—the part of us that is already peaceful and cannot be destroyed. He talks about parts as "angels in disguise," the ones inside that have taken on difficult roles to protect that inner light. If you’re looking for a way to stay connected to yourself in a chaotic world, this episode is a sacred reminder that...
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When The World Feels Too Heavy with Daphne Fatter
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Daphne Fatter for a timely and honest conversation about what so many of us are navigating right now, as therapists, as parents, and as humans living in a polarized and chaotic time. We talk about nervous system overwhelm, numb and checked-out parts, news consumption, activism, community connection, and how to stay grounded when things feel "too much." We also touch on Daphne’s new book: Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy. In this episode: Why so many of us feel numb, frozen, or checked out right now Normalizing...
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Integrating IFS and EMDR with Bruce Hersey, David Polidi, and Joanne Twombly
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome David Polidi, Bruce Hersey, and Joanne Twombly on the podcast to talk about their new book, We talk about why this book is needed, what it took to bring together more than 20 contributors, and why integrating these models can create more options, more flexibility, and more hope for clients. We talk about: Bringing together 21 contributors and creating a true community project Why integration can help when clients get stuck in one modality The idea that there is a natural, underlying healing process beyond any single model Coping skills, resourcing, and the...
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Inside IFS with Richard Schwartz and Jeanne Catanzaro
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today’s episode is a little different, in a really wonderful way. I sit down with Dick Schwartz and Jeanne Catanzaro, President and Vice President of the IFS Institute, and partners in both leadership and life. This isn’t a traditional interview; it’s more like listening in on friends and colleagues talking about the things they care about, the serious, the personal, and the very human. I’ve been feeling curious about what’s happening inside IFS leadership right now. The model keeps growing, reaching more people, and carrying more responsibility with it. I wanted to hear directly...
info_outlineIn today's episode, I chat with David Hoffman, a lawyer, mediator, and a founding member of Boston Law Collaborative. David was named "Lawyer of the Year" in Boston, and he even teaches at Harvard!
I love how he's using IFS to help people with conflict. We talk about how IFS has shifted his focus from getting people to settle, to helping them make Self-led choices.
We discuss:
- How does a lawyer and mediator bring the language of parts into a legal setting?
- What is the "reasonable reason" behind "unreasonable behavior" in conflict?
- How can we make decisions from a place of "Self-led" wisdom rather than from our "gladiator parts?"
- How can simply naming a part change the dynamic of a conversation? David shares an example of how saying "there's a greedy part" shifted a negotiation for the better.
- How does the IFS model help us understand ambivalence and the "negotiation within" that happens before we even enter a conflict?
This episode is sponsored by the Internal Family Systems institute. Join renowned attorney and mediator David Hoffman for a six-week live workshop starting this October. Explore how the IFS model can support lawyers, mediators, and conflict professionals to lead with more clarity, compassion, and Self — with special guest appearances by Dick Schwartz, Mike Elkin, and Fatimah Finney, this program offers practical tools for navigating client engagement, negotiation, and ethical decision-making. Space is limited and live attendance is required. Learn more and register now at ifs-institute.com.
About David Hoffman
David Hoffman, a mediator, arbitrator, and founding member of Boston Law Collaborative, has been a leading voice in bringing the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to the legal community since 2010. He holds Level One IFS training and has co-presented with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz. A plenary speaker at the 2022 IFSI Conference, his work has been featured in the Harvard Negotiation Law Review, where he authored a seminal article on "Mediation, Multiple Minds, and Managing the Negotiation Within." In addition to his private practice, he serves as the John H. Watson, Jr. Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he integrates the IFS model into his courses.
About The One Inside:
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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who helps therapists create with clarity and confidence.
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