Purity Culture and Fascism Are Very Good Friends w/ Erica Smith
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Erica Smith is an award-winning sexuality educator, advocate, and author from rural Pennsylvania, where she grew up casually Christian, went to public school, learned sex ed from a gym teacher, and somehow became the most responsible teenage sexual health nerd with birth control, condoms, spermicide, and library books before having sex for the first time. In this episode we talk about purity culture, religious sexual shame, high-control groups, Christian nationalism, marital consent, “duty sex,” the pressure placed on both women and men in evangelical purity teachings, and why healing from...
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A Condom For A Cheeto w/ Alex Gay
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: Alex Gay is a certified intimacy and relationship coach and adult performer from Maryland, where his sex education came from homeschooling, evangelical purity culture, and two conversations with his dad that left him wondering if condoms were worth trading for Cheetos. In this episode we talk about growing up in a religious high-control group, shame as a clue to desire, what kink actually means, why so many men are expected to magically know how to be good in bed, and how Alex went from purity culture to...
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Purity Culture Sets Us Up for Failure w/ Reuben Johnson
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Reuben Johnson is one half of FlyDuo, a husband-and-wife team behind the pleasure-forward platform SexTech n' Chill, originally from the suburbs of Boston where growing up in a strict religious environment meant sex education was mostly abstinence, shame and silence. In this episode we talk about purity culture, abstinence-only sex education and how religious messaging around sex can leave people completely unprepared for real intimacy. We get into the science behind pleasure, why nervous system regulation matters in the bedroom, the myth of “think about baseball” when people struggle with...
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I Need You To Say Blue Balls w/ Ginger Koehler
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: Ginger Koehler is a sex educator, columnist and speaker from the Midwest where her earliest “sex talk” happened over mac and cheese at a McAlister’s… and ended with her bursting into tears when her mom explained what a period was. In this episode we talk about what it actually means to study sex academically, why people confidently give terrible sex advice online, and the moment Ginger realized she wanted to build a career translating complex sex science into language normal humans can understand....
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Wait… Is This A Kinky Dinner Party? w/ Maurice James
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: Maurice James is a comedian, host, actor, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy from Jackson, Mississippi where his formal sex education came from an Episcopalian school science class taught by a teacher who carried a petrified bull testicle cane… and where sex ed mostly felt like mitosis and meiosis rather than anything connected to his own body. Want to her Maurice and I unfiltered reading Reddit stories? Join the afterparty over on Patreon! Where to find Maurice: Instagram: & Kinky Comedy: ...
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A Real Good Sex Guy w / Justin Herman
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Justin Herman is a television director and producer, internationally touring stand-up comedian, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy originally from Albany, New York where his formal sex education consisted of one awkward school lesson separating boys and girls, a confusing anatomical chart, and a diner conversation with his dad about “the birds and the bees” that definitely did NOT cover kink. In this episode we talk about the lifestyle community, kink and non-monogamy, how Kinky Comedy accidentally became a hub for sexually liberated audiences, the anthropology of play parties, why lifestyle...
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What Porn Taught Hollywood About Sex Scenes w/ Lotus Lain
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Lotus Lain is an adult performer, producer, intimacy coordinator and sex worker advocate originally from California’s Central Valley where growing up in a small town meant most of her real sex education came later through curiosity, the internet, and eventually working in the adult industry itself. In this episode we talk about the unexpected overlap between porn and Hollywood, how the adult industry approached consent, boundaries and choreography long before mainstream film and television caught up, and why productions eventually realized they needed intimacy coordinators. We also get into...
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Where There's A Will, There's A Fcking Way w/ Aimee Latta
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Aimee Latta is a certified embodied intimacy and relationship coach and the host of the podcast Come Talk With Aimee, originally from Utah where the best sex education she got was a fifth grade presentation from a very enthusiastic husband and wife team… followed by years of abstinence-only education and a very graphic childbirth video meant to scare everyone into never having sex. In this episode we talk about growing up in Utah, abstinence-only sex education, Mormon purity culture, and what happens when the only messaging around sex is prevention instead of pleasure. We also get into...
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The Cuban Missile Crisis of Burlesque w/ Tito Bonito
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Tito Bonito is an international burlesque performer, host and instructor originally from Miami, Florida where he knew he was gay before he even knew how babies were made… and learned most of the rest through TLC, the Spice Girls, and sheer curiosity. Catch Tito and I talkin’ some real shit reading Reddit stories and join the afterparty over on Patreon! Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: _________________________________________________ Where to find Tito: Instagram: | Links: Where to find Arielle: Insta: // TikTok: Bonus...
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Everyone Wants To Be A Cult Leader w/ Jimanekia Ebon
Birds And Bees Don't Fck
Join the watch party LIVE AT FIVE on YouTube: Jimanekia Eborn is a trauma specialist, sexuality educator, survivor advocate, co-owner of Cintima, and founder of the nonprofit Tending the Garden, originally from Riverside, California where she actually DID received sex education multiple times growing up… but was any of it good? Absolutely not. In this episode we talk about grief, trauma work, modern dating struggles, sex education failures, intimacy coordination, professional wrestling (yes, I mean that), mental health, and why community and safe spaces are essential for connection and...
info_outlineJustin Herman is a television director and producer, internationally touring stand-up comedian, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy originally from Albany, New York where his formal sex education consisted of one awkward school lesson separating boys and girls, a confusing anatomical chart, and a diner conversation with his dad about “the birds and the bees” that definitely did NOT cover kink.
In this episode we talk about the lifestyle community, kink and non-monogamy, how Kinky Comedy accidentally became a hub for sexually liberated audiences, the anthropology of play parties, why lifestyle spaces tend to create deeper friendships, and what happens when kinky jokes collide with vanilla comedy crowds. We also get into porn magazines as early sex education, polyamory as emotional calculus, consent culture in BDSM communities, and the surprisingly wholesome reality of seeing your friends thrive in sexually open environments.
Then, Justin and I go deep reading Reddit stories over on Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck
Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck
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Where to find Justin:
Instagram: @justin_herman
Kinky Comedy: https://kinkycomedy.com
Website: https://justinhermancomedy.com
Where to find Arielle:
Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck
TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck
Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:
- STORY 1: Am I the asshole for wanting my girl to do more cleaning around the apartment?
- STORY 2: Am I the asshole for banning my sister’s boyfriend from my house and closing the door in his face?
Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here:
https://lovecrave.com/arielle
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Episode Cheat Sheet
02:05 What Kinky Comedy is and how it started
06:40 What “the lifestyle” actually means (kink, BDSM and non-monogamy)
09:10 Why women watching male-male porn often feel safer and more connected to the pleasure
11:15 Building community through sex-positive comedy shows
15:50 Why kinky jokes bomb in vanilla comedy rooms
18:20 XBIZ, adult industry spaces and sexual openness
20:40 Seeing your friends have sex and what it teaches about personality
23:00 The anthropology of play parties and lifestyle spaces
25:15 Why polyamory requires extreme emotional intelligence
27:30 Body positivity, vulvas and seeing real bodies in lifestyle spaces
29:35 Why naked confidence makes everyone hotter
31:50 Consent culture and why lifestyle spaces prioritize women’s comfort
34:05 Negotiation vs coercion in kink and BDSM dynamics
36:00 The Orgy Dome at Burning Man and radical consent practices
38:10 Why people attend play parties without having sex
40:13 Justin’s real sex education: awkward school lessons and the diner birds-and-bees talk
42:20 Porn magazines as early sex education for teenage boys
46:30 Why boys looking at porn together is its own weird cultural ritual
49:40 Punching down in comedy and evolving standards in humor
54:15 Why comedy should evolve as society evolves
56:30 The origin of the “real good sex guy” title
58:50 Growing Kinky Comedy into a real community event