244 Managing Expectations: Showing Up For Yourself During Hard Times
Release Date: 05/21/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
Taking a Podcast Break: Self-Acceptance & Self-Worth Patricia announces that she will be taking a break from the podcast. She discusses the challenges of OCD and attachment injuries in relationships and shares tools that have been helpful for her, such as identifying wants, needs, desires, and expectations. She also talks about the importance of rupture and repair work in therapy and coaching relationships. Patricia expresses gratitude to all the listeners, and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-worth. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Taking breaks...
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Attachment Injuries and OCD: The Healing Continues Summary Patricia discusses her experience with OCD and attachment injuries while Jen, is on vacation. She explores her fears and insecurities about asking for support and needing connection. Patricia reflects on the importance of consistent communication and creating containers to improve nervous system regulation. She also delves into her childhood experiences of feeling invisible and not belonging, and how this impacts current relationships. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways ...
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Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss...
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The Importance of Self-Regulation, Self-Compassion and Connection Patricia discusses her feelings of annoyance and disappointment when her scheduled recording with Jen is cancelled. The conversation highlights the complexities of managing emotions and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. She also discusses her experience of transitioning from an expansive state to a contractive state and the challenges that come with it. She talks about managing dysregulation, the impact of trauma work and OCD, and the importance of self-compassion. HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia...
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Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
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Taking up Space and Expressing Your Feelings is Important for Healing Attachment Injuries Patricia shares her experiences of her recent trip to Chicago. She discusses the challenges she faced in navigating changes in plans and the emotions that arose during her son's graduation from boot camp. Patricia also explores the importance of creating a secure attachment in her relationship with Jen and the need to ask for what she wants and needs with both Jen and her son. She emphasizes the significance of taking up space, expressing feelings, and finding support in managing attachment...
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Anger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions. CO-HOST Jen...
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PDA & Empowering Autonomy: Navigating Uncertainty and Travel Preparation Patricia discusses her experiences with attachment injuries, being activated, anxiety, and preparing for travel. She shares insights into managing her emotions and navigating relationships through the lens of autism with a PDA profile. Patricia asserts her need for autonomy, feelings of powerlessness, and the challenges of managing uncertainty. Patricia also explores her experiences with OCD, hypervigilance, and the impact of early childhood trauma on her current behaviors and thought patterns. ...
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Friendships Paradigms: Monogamy and Polyamory and Platonic Partnerships Patricia discusses the concept of monogamy and polyamory in friendships and platonic partnerships. She explores how the traditional view of monogamy has a hierarchy when one person enters a romantic relationship. Neurodivergent folks often have closer friendships that are more like platonic partnerships. Patricia shares her insights on the importance of defining communication patterns and expectations in friendships. She also reflects on the challenges of permanence and attachment wounds in relationships. ...
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Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with attachment injuries and how it affects their relationship. They explore the challenges of communication and the impact of past traumas. Patricia shares insights from her recovery journey, drawing parallels between her eating disorder and her attachment struggles. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating these complex dynamics. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the value of conflict and the importance of...
info_outlineManaging Expectations: Showing Up for Yourself During Hard Times
Jen and Patricia discuss attachment wounds in their friendship. They explore the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and managing expectations. They highlight the need for compassion & understanding when dealing with attachment issues & emphasize the ongoing work of healing & growth. In this conversation, Patricia shares her recent experiences with conflict & how she navigated this. She discusses the importance of leaning into difficult emotions and listening to others without defensiveness.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
The conversation revolves around attachment injuries and the impact they have on relationships. Patricia explores the concept of self-care and the need to treat oneself with kindness and nurturing. The conversation highlights the different lenses through which people view relationships and the importance of understanding one's own biases. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the value of curiosity, compassion, and self-empowerment in navigating challenging situations.
In Depth Takeaways
· Attachment injuries can impact relationships and trigger emotional reactions.
· Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing and understanding attachment wounds.
· Setting boundaries and managing expectations can help navigate attachment issues.
· Compassion and understanding are essential in healing and growth.
· Working on oneself and developing a strong inner relationship is key to managing attachment wounds. Leaning into difficult emotions and situations can lead to personal growth and understanding.
· Listening without defensiveness allows for better communication and resolution in conflicts.
· Self-care involves treating oneself with kindness and nurturing one's own needs.
· Understanding one's own biases and lenses can improve relationships and communication.
· Curiosity, compassion, and self-empowerment are essential in navigating challenging situations.
Additional Takeaways
- Understanding emotional struggles: Gain insights into navigating complex emotions.
- Communication strategies: Learn effective ways to express feelings and thoughts.
- Attachment wounds exploration: Understand how past experiences impact relationships.
- Self-reflection tools: Discover techniques for introspection and personal growth.
- Compassion importance: Explore the role of empathy in fostering connections.
- Relationship navigation: Tips for managing challenges in interpersonal dynamics.
- Trauma healing techniques: Tools for addressing and healing past traumas.
- Empathy and connection building: Foster deeper connections with others.
- Self-care prioritization: Learn to prioritize self-care and well-being.
- Embracing imperfections: Understand the value of self-acceptance and growth.
- Emotional intelligence enhancement: Develop skills for understanding and managing emotions.
- Healthy boundaries cultivation: Establish boundaries for healthier relationships.
- Validation of experiences: Feel validated in your personal journey and struggles.
- Self-discovery encouragement: Find inspiration for exploring your true self.
- Personal growth support: Receive guidance for personal development and transformation.
- Conflict resolution strategies: Learn techniques for resolving conflicts peacefully.
- Resilience and strength building: Develop resilience to overcome challenges.
- Effective listening techniques: Enhance your listening skills for better communication.
- Vulnerability encouragement: Embrace vulnerability as a path to authenticity.
- Positive change inspiration: Get motivated to make positive changes in your life.
Sound Bites
"The theme is attachment injuries."
"We all need a secure attachment."
"I really have learned to lean into whatever is going on for the moment and knowing that it will last for as long as it lasts."
"I was really able to listen instead of going into a place of defensiveness."
"This is the first time that I honestly thought I don't want to do relationships anymore because the feelings were so intense."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Checking In
01:26 Attachment Injuries and Emotional Challenges
09:03 The Importance of Secure Attachment
11:18 Managing Expectations and Setting Boundaries
16:38 Learning to Show Up for Ourselves
18:30 Leaning into Difficult Emotions and Situations
19:40 Listening without Defensiveness in Conflict
24:35 The Importance of Self-Care and Nurturing
26:28 Understanding Biases and Lenses in Relationships
29:17 Curiosity, Compassion, and Self-Empowerment in Challenging Situations
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
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Email: [email protected]
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com
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