In this podcast, we explore how sensitivity weaves itself into our lives. We talk about the richness that it adds, and the strengths we have BECAUSE of our sensitivity and some of the challenges it poses as well. If you are a Creative, a deep thinker, a deep feeler, neurodivergent, autistic, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), an introvert, or identify as INFJ or ENFJ, you may enjoy the in-depth conversations where we talk openly and honestly about how we experience life. This is a podcast where you can learn, relate, laugh and maybe even live a bolder, brighter life.
Have you been told you’re “too” (fill in the blank)? You’re too sensitive; you think/worry too much; you take things too personally; you’re too emotional, too finicky, too fragile, too intense, too uptight, too slow. Have you been told you can’t take a joke; you can’t go with the flow? You can’t let go of things? Making decisions can be very difficult. You might have an acute sense of smell, and strong odors, crowded noisy environments and bright lights are just too much!
You notice things that no one else does. You have a strong sense of justice and you may be a peace-keeper. Conflict feels uncomfortable. You’re the one that everyone tells their problems to because you’re a good listener who cares deeply.
You’re in the right place!
You may have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD or something else. Sometimes Highly Sensitive People are misdiagnosed. Our brains are wired differently. We are born with the trait of High Sensitivity. There’s nothing wrong with you! You will learn that your perceived weaknesses are really are your superpowers! Dr. Elaine Aron coined the term Highly Sensitive Person (also known as Sensory Processing Sensitivity).
240 Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Patricia and Jen discuss navigating uncertainty and overwhelm, managing change and unexpected situations, balancing personal needs, the power of communication and validation, finding meaning and value in relationships, coping with anxiety and catastrophic thinking, choosing to assume the best, managing energy and boundaries, secure attachment and autonomy, dealing with uncertainty and seeking information, taking care of yourself in travel. They also reflect on their friendship CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss various topics including body image, grief, historical trauma, emotional support, communication, and family dynamics. Patricia shares her personal experiences and emotions surrounding her son leaving for boot camp, which triggers both current and historical grief. They explore the importance of emotional attunement and the impact of different processing styles on relationships. The conversation highlights the need for compassion, understanding, and open communication in navigating intense emotions and supporting one another. Takeaways · Body image concerns can impact self-perception and emotional well-being. · Grief can be triggered by current events and activate historical trauma. · Emotional support and attunement are crucial in navigating intense emotions. · Open communication and understanding of different processing styles can strengthen relationships. Navigating uncertainty and overwhelm can be challenging, but finding ways to manage change and unexpected situations can help. · Balancing personal needs and family expectations is important for maintaining well-being. · Effective communication and validation can strengthen relationships and provide support during difficult times. · Coping with anxiety and catastrophic thinking requires self-awareness and the ability to assume the best in uncertain situations. · Taking care of oneself and setting boundaries is crucial for managing energy and maintaining emotional well-being. · Seeking information and being proactive can help reduce uncertainty and increase feelings of security. · Finding security in relationships and in life involves developing secure attachment and embracing autonomy. · Taking care of oneself during travel, such as having snacks and staying hydrated, can help manage stress and anxiety. · Finding security in relationships and in life involves developing secure attachment and embracing autonomy. · Reflecting on friendship and growth can bring appreciation and gratitude for the journey. Additional topics discussed: Exploring the complexities of loss, grief, and change in personal experiences. Normalizing and validating diverse ways of coping with sadness and challenges. Reflecting on the interplay between present circumstances and past narratives. Nurturing compassion and gentleness in relationships to facilitate healing. Recognizing the value of secure attachments in both personal and life contexts. Strategies for dealing with uncertainty and finding resources for support. Cultivating wisdom in distinguishing between controllable and uncontrollable aspects of life. The power of communication in addressing needs within relationships. Overcoming codependency and setting healthy boundaries in interactions. Embracing vulnerability and authenticity in sharing personal experiences. Balancing self-expression with consideration for others in relationships. Addressing feelings of inadequacy and the need for self-affirmation. Seeking empowerment through information and planning in uncertain situations. Building resilience through shared experiences and mutual support. Fostering a sense of autonomy and self-assurance amidst societal pressures. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Checking In 00:28 Body Image and Self-Perception 07:09 Intense Grief and Emotional Support 08:02 Communication and Emotional Boundaries 12:09 Processing Grief and Emotional Reactions 14:58 Capacity for Emotional Support 20:06 Last Moments and Emotional Vulnerability 21:05 Navigating Uncertainty and Overwhelm 22:01 Managing Change and Unexpected Situations 23:24 Balancing Personal Needs and Family Expectations 25:17 The Power of Communication and Validation 26:15 Finding Meaning and Value in Relationships 27:09 Coping with Anxiety and Catastrophic Thinking 28:03 Choosing to Assume the Best 29:00 Managing Energy and Boundaries 29:26 Secure Attachment and Autonomy 30:18 Dealing with Uncertainty and Seeking Information 32:35 Taking Care of Yourself in Travel 38:33 Finding Security in Relationships and Life 40:18 Reflecting on Friendship and Growth PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30873858
239 Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined Being “Too Much” is a Narrative that needs to be Re-examined Summary Patricia discusses the wound of too much and how it can impact relationships. Too much is about BOTH people and the capacity of the other person. This is a narrative that needs to be reexamined, and the context of both people needs to be addressed. She explores the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, and socialization. Patricia also explores the concept of rules, and how through an autistic lens, this can create some challenges. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways The wound of feeling like you're too much can stem from trauma and socialization of neurotypical norms. Understanding and respecting one's own capacity and the capacity of others is crucial in communication. Navigating relationships as a neurodivergent individual requires open and honest conversations. Embracing sensitivity and accepting oneself is essential for personal well-being. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) Points made in this episode: Exploring the concept of the "wound of too much" in relationships and self-perception. Addressing the impact of past traumas and relationship experiences on feeling "too much." Discussing the importance of understanding and respecting personal and others' capacities. Emphasizing the need for setting healthy boundaries to overcome the "wound of too much." Highlighting the dynamics of communication and capacity in relationships. Encouraging empathy and consideration for others' limits in interactions. Recognizing the interconnectedness of personal wounds of "too much" and "not enough." Offering strategies for balancing enthusiasm and respecting others' capacities. Challenging the narrative that focuses solely on one person being "too much." Advocating for a shift towards understanding and honoring both individuals' capacities. Discussing the challenges faced in relationships between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals. Providing insights on communication, boundaries, and self-awareness in relationships. Emphasizing the importance of mutual understanding and communication in addressing capacity issues. Exploring the nuances of being perceived as "too much" and the impact on self-esteem. Encouraging self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and fostering healthy connections. 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Topic 01:36 The Wound of Too Much 06:21 PDA Profile and Autonomy 07:52 Socialization and Autistic Females 10:16 Stimming and Accommodations 11:34 Navigating Communication and Social Cues 13:17 The Fear of Being Too Much 14:07 The Influence of Others' Opinions 18:22 Shifting the Narrative: Capacity of Both Parties 20:11 Navigating Relationships with Limited Insight 21:10 Personal Examples and Communication 23:35 Finding Balance in Showing Interest 24:05 Conclusion and Encouragement PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30755688
238 Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm Learning to Trust Yourself and Finding Peace in Your Own Rhythm Patricia discusses her experience when her husband is away. She shares her journey of managing attachment wounds, and the challenges of household responsibilities. Patricia also explores the impact of autistic burnout and ADHD on her ability to stay on top of things. She emphasizes the importance of honoring autonomy and considering others while maintaining a sense of self. Patricia concludes by encouraging listeners to trust themselves and find comfort in their own needs and wiring. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Learning to trust yourself and find peace in your own rhythm. Managing attachment wounds and fear of being alone. Balancing household responsibilities and find ways to stay on top of things. Honoring autonomy and consider others while maintaining a sense of self. Additional takeaways: Recognize the evolution of coping strategies over the years. Understand the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. Explore ways to manage feelings of fear and insecurity. Discover the importance of staying connected during separations. Learn how to anchor oneself to a support system. Reflect on the challenges of maintaining responsibilities solo. Identify the role of communication in long-distance relationships. Explore personal growth through periods of solitude. Acknowledge the significance of self-care during partner's absence. Reflect on the journey of building trust and resilience. Consider the balance between independence and interdependence. Explore strategies for regulating emotions during separations. Understand the dynamics of individual growth within a relationship. Reflect on personal boundaries and self-compassion. Discover the power of vulnerability in relationships. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Background 00:56 Attachment Wounds and Fear of Being Alone 03:04 Trusting the Process 04:24 Autistic Burnout and ADHD 05:19 Autonomy and Consideration of Others 06:47 Guilt and Honoring Autonomy 07:36 Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) 09:13 Taking Care of Pets 11:08 Autonomy and Space in Relationships 13:03 Trusting Yourself and Letting Go of Tension 16:29 Transitioning and Adjusting 22:30 Processing and Communication 24:43 Non-Traditional Relationships and Balance 26:09 Trusting Yourself and Finding Peace 28:47 Honoring Your Needs and Wired PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30671733
237 Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of unmasking and being authentic in relationships including the role of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). They explore the narratives we have about ourselves and how they can impact our interactions with others. They also delve into the differences in communication styles and perspectives, and the importance of embracing who we are. The conversation highlights the need to navigate personal dynamics and self-reflection in order to foster understanding and growth. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways · Unmasking involves recognizing and embracing our authentic selves, even if it brings up discomfort or challenges in relationships. · Differences in communication styles and perspectives can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, but it's important to approach these differences with curiosity and compassion. · Challenging the narratives we have about ourselves and others can help us break free from limiting beliefs and foster healthier relationships. · Navigating personal dynamics requires open communication, self-reflection, and a willingness to honor our own needs while respecting the autonomy of others. More about unmasking Unmasking involves revealing one's authentic self and needs in relationships. It can bring up feelings of selfishness or discomfort when prioritizing personal authenticity. The author discusses the challenge of balancing personal needs with making others feel comfortable. Self-awareness plays a role in navigating the discomfort that may arise from unmasking. The author highlights the importance of authenticity in fostering genuine connections in relationships. Embracing one's true self involves acknowledging and communicating personal preferences and boundaries. Chapters (please adjust time for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 08:03 Unmasking and Authenticity 12:05 Differences in Perspectives and Communication Styles 26:13 Struggles with Identity and Unmasking 30:05 Levels of Experience and Narrative 35:26 Navigating Personal Dynamics and Self-Reflection 36:06 Closing Remarks PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30568453
236 Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their struggles with linear content and their values of focusing on relational topics. They explore the challenges of staying true to their authentic selves while creating content. The conversation also delves into the dynamics of their relationship and the growth they have experienced in building trust and security, and things they sometimes find difficult to discuss. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Staying true to your authentic self is important when creating content. Building trust and security in relationships takes time and vulnerability. The value of a podcast is not solely determined by download numbers. Interdependence allows for mutual support and growth in relationships. Understanding the importance of emotional vulnerability. Exploring newfound perspectives and insights. Recognizing and embracing feelings of exposure. Reflecting on personal trauma and its impact on self-awareness. Acknowledging the significance of maintaining authenticity in self-expression. Navigating the balance between showcasing autism identity and personal growth. Exploring the process of redefining podcast branding and content focus. Embracing the journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Recognizing the value of open-hearted communication. Reflecting on personal growth and aspirations for authenticity in content creation. Discussing the impact of external validation on podcast metrics and audience engagement. Emphasizing the importance of sharing valuable content. Reflecting on personal struggles with content creation and self-expression. Recognizing the significance of relational content in podcast episodes. Embracing the challenges and rewards of discussing personal relationships openly. Exploring the impact of neurodivergence on relational dynamics and communication. Navigating shifts in podcast content focus and listener engagement. Reflecting on the journey of self-acceptance and authenticity. Embracing the diversity of perspectives and experiences in relationships. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 02:44 Struggles with Linear Content and Personal Experience 08:04 Shifting Focus to Relational Content 13:26 Building Trust and Security in the Relationship 21:18 Navigating Attachment Insecurities 25:24 Interdependence and Holding Space for Each Other 28:08 Communication and Vulnerability in the Relationship 31:20 Planning Visits and Considering Context 34:08 Conclusion and Gratitude PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30466928
235 Red & Green Flags in Relationships Red & Green Flags in Relationships Patricia discusses red flags and ideal qualities in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of honoring rhythms and self-care, as well as effective communication and conflict resolution. Patricia also addresses gaslighting, setting boundaries, and the significance of trust, honesty, and similar values in a relationship. She explores the impact of political differences and attachment wounds on a partnership. The episode concludes with a reminder to embrace sensitivity and prioritize self-care. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Honor your rhythms and practice self-care in relationships. Pay attention to red flags such as controlling behavior, lack of respect, and constant fighting. Look for qualities like kindness, respect, trust, and effective communication in a partner. Set boundaries and be aware of gaslighting in relationships. Consider the impact of political differences and attachment wounds on a partnership. Spend quality time together and ensure compatibility with each other's friends. Red Flags: Lack of respect and kindness towards service providers Moving too quickly in the relationship without respecting boundaries Negative and derogatory descriptions of past relationships and partners Jealousy and controlling behavior Attempting to change or control the other person’s appearance and behavior Putting the other person down, even in a teasing manner Inability to provide comfort and support during difficult times Not being responsive or available when the other person asks for support or help Constantly pushing boundaries without respecting the other person’s limits Constant fighting or high emotional conflicts Lack of active listening and attunement to the other person’s needs Disrespect towards others and themselves Lack of emotional awareness and intelligence Poor communication skills and inability or unwillingness to engage in difficult conversations Green Flags Good communication skills (or willing to improve them) Mutual trust and respect. Supporting each other’s goals even if it brings up feelings for you You can have fun together. Demonstrating empathy and tenderness during difficult times Being willing to pitch in and help when it is needed without needing to be asked (or having a willing spirit). You can be independent and enjoy your own friends and interests. There is interdependence: you need each other and can depend on the other person. You make decisions together and consider both people and how they will be affected. Conflict isn’t seen as threatening or dangerous. You value rupture and repair and know it’s part of any healthy relationship. You both can compromise and consider the other person’s needs/feelings without sacrificing or giving in You can count on the other person to show up or do what they say will do. There is a sense of equality and both people matter. There is reciprocity (financial, emotional, respect, compromise). The other person “gets” you, or tries to understand when they don’t. Having similar values and goals, despite political differences. Ability to work through differences and agree to disagree. Being reliable and having a group-minded approach. Showing kindness, generosity, and emotional attunement. Respecting boundaries and moving at a comfortable pace in the relationship. Treating service industry workers with respect and kindness. Providing comfort, support, and responsiveness during challenging times. Demonstrating high emotional awareness, intelligence, and effective communication. Chapters (please allow for addition of introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Update 01:03 The Importance of Honoring Rhythms and Self-Care 04:00 Qualities to Look for in a Relationship 06:05 Communication and Conflict Resolution 09:33 Gaslighting and Boundaries 13:38 Equality, Support, and Independence 16:09 Trust, Honesty, and Similar Values 18:24 Attachment Wounds and Conflict Resolution 21:44 Spending Quality Time and Friend Compatibility 22:28 Conclusion PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30360473
234 Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Jen helps me process through a communication blip I had with my son. My husband & I have very different styles when talking to our boys, & I felt inadequate, and I sometimes struggle to attune. We talk about context when communicating, projection, who is a safe person to get angry at, & I talk about my own reactivity and confusion at my reaction. Jen reminds me that my family sticks with hard conversations. We also talk about having neuro-normative standards, & how that constantly leads to disappointment. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their experiences with burnout and the importance of leaning into rest. They explore the challenges of pushing boundaries, asking for what you want, and allowing others to say no. They also discuss the impact of neuro-normative standards and the power of dropping expectations and starting from zero. The conversation delves into the dynamics of communication within families and the difficulties of attuning to different perspectives. They emphasize the importance of staying connected and working through bumps in relationships, while also acknowledging the need for space and the reality of being imperfect humans. The conversation concludes with a reminder to have grace and humility in relationships and to express love and appreciation for one another. Takeaways Leaning into rest and embracing the new norm during burnout can be a powerful tool for recovery. Recognizing and respecting boundaries, both for oneself and others, is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Challenging neuro-normative standards and embracing individual differences can lead to greater understanding and acceptance. Taking space and allowing for imperfection in relationships can foster growth, connection, and grace. Additional points discussed: Challenges in attuning to one's child compared to a spouse. Contextual factors influencing communication breakdowns. Impact of burnout on family dynamics. Struggles of young adults balancing independence and parental support. Importance of preparation in family communication. Patterns of miscommunication and receptivity. Emotional release and support in times of conflict. Feeling disempowered in communication dynamics. Need for open dialogue and understanding in relationships. Misinterpretation of messages leading to conflict. Defensive reactions in communication breakdowns. Family dynamics during conflict resolution. Neurodivergence and emotional dysregulation. Rupture and repair work in relationships. Acceptance of human imperfections in communication. Parenting challenges and self-awareness. Generational differences in perspectives on communication. Emotional availability and its impact on relationships. Perfectionism and its hindrance to authentic communication. Importance of self-care and emotional readiness in conflict resolution. Chapters (please adjust time for addition of introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Checking In 00:48 Coming Out of Burnout and Leaning Into Rest 02:06 Pushing Boundaries and Asking for What You Want 03:27 Navigating Setbacks and Embracing Patience 04:02 Valuing Autonomy and Allowing Others to Say No 05:22 Challenging Neuro-Normative Standards 06:05 Dropping Expectations and Starting from Zero 07:19 Powering Down and Restoring the Brain 08:26 Communication Challenges with Children 09:17 Recognizing Different Perspectives and Values 11:21 Navigating Family Dynamics and Emotional Activation 14:10 Miscommunication and Misunderstandings 15:41 The Impact of Words and Different Perspectives 18:08 Feeling Inadequate and Wounded 19:20 Staying Connected and Working Through Bumps 22:24 Empathic Communication and Paving the Way 25:01 Taking Space and Being Imperfect Humans 26:27 Staying in Relationship Through Messiness 30:20 Having Grace and Humility in Relationships 32:01 Accepting Imperfection and Being Present 35:15 Wrapping Up and Expressing Love PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links Neurodivergent Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30245598
233 Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real Neurodivergence and Friendship: The Struggle is Real I talk about the challenges and complexities of friendships for neurodivergent folks, and the changing nature of friendships, the importance of reciprocity and communication. I discuss navigating difficult conversations, recognizing and addressing needs, and setting boundaries. I talk about the tendency to feel central in someone's life, and the challenges of accepting neurodivergence in relationships. I explore the importance of self-awareness, authenticity, and honoring one's own needs in relationships. HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways · Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and it's important to recognize that friendships come and go. · Communication and reciprocity are key in maintaining healthy relationships. · Navigating difficult conversations and setting boundaries is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships. · Recognizing and honoring one's own needs is crucial in navigating relationships. · Understanding and accepting neurodivergence in relationships can be challenging but necessary for fostering understanding and connection. Other Insights: Insights on building relationships based on emotional intelligence. Strategies for holding space for feelings in friendships. Importance of rupture and repair in relationships. The significance of taking space in challenging relationships. Communication dynamics in maintaining connections. Evaluation of relationship importance in personal growth. Practices for healing and growth within relationships. Challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in friendships. Strategies for navigating friendship complexities. Understanding the impact of neurodiversity on relationships. Coping mechanisms like rage writing for emotional processing. Recognition that not all friendships are lifelong. Quick connection and oversharing tendencies in relationships. Awareness of assumptions about closeness in friendships. Identifying personal values in seeking friendships. Reflection on reasons for leaving relationships. Difficulties in maintaining friendships for neurodivergent individuals. Exploration of evolving friendships with neurodivergent needs. Insights into the dynamics of neurodivergent friendships. Understanding the complexities of neurodiversity in relationships. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 00:55 Challenges in Making and Keeping Friendships 02:02 The Changing Nature of Friendships 03:35 Reciprocity and Communication in Relationships 04:58 Recognizing the Lack of Reciprocity 05:58 Testing Relationships and Making Assumptions 06:56 Navigating Difficult Conversations 08:05 Recognizing and Addressing Needs in Relationships 09:21 Dealing with Resentment and Setting Boundaries 10:24 Navigating Relationships During Tragedy 11:44 Feeling Central in Someone's Life 12:41 Recognizing Support Systems in Relationships 13:40 Navigating Relationships with Different Perspectives 16:00 Missteps and Room for Growth in Relationships 17:21 Challenges in Accepting Neurodivergence in Relationships 18:52 Understanding the Nuances of Autism and ADHD 20:16 Navigating Relationships with Limited Understanding 21:43 Setting Boundaries and Ending Relationships 23:13 Processing Grief and Emotions in Relationships 24:21 Having Vulnerable Conversations with Loved Ones 25:46 Navigating Emotional Needs and Connection 27:30 Recognizing and Honoring Personal Needs 29:32 Navigating Decision-Making and Overwhelm 31:30 Communicating Needs and Boundaries in Relationships 33:34 Navigating Overwhelm and Self-Judgment 35:19 Summary and Closing Remarks PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30151378
232 The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help Patricia and Jen discuss their health updates and the challenges they have faced. They also delve into the pressure to be productive and the fear of not functioning. The conversation shifts to vulnerability and insecurity in relationships, as well as the process of learning to receive and ask for help. They reflect on the growth and healing that comes from navigating attachment wounds. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of not always having to do deep work in therapy. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation. They explore the importance of finding joyful movement and the impact of rest on their well-being. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of self-compassion and acceptance. They acknowledge the need to be kind to oneself and accept the challenges that come with it. They also talk about the practice of naming and addressing gremlins, which are negative thoughts or beliefs that can hold us back. By bringing these gremlins to light, they can be examined and dealt with. Lastly, they touch on the topic of protectiveness and support, highlighting the importance of being there for each other during difficult times. Takeaways Finding joy in movement can energize and fulfill us. Rest is essential for rejuvenation and creativity. Vulnerability and asking for help can deepen connections. Navigating attachment wounds can lead to growth and healing. Practicing self-compassion and acceptance is crucial for personal growth and well-being. Naming and addressing gremlins can help in overcoming negative thoughts and beliefs. Being protective and supportive of others during challenging times fosters strong relationships. Acknowledging and accepting temporary struggles can lead to personal growth and resilience. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Health Updates 03:11 Finding Joyful Movement 08:02 Struggles with Productivity and Pressure 13:10 The Importance of Rest 18:20 Vulnerability and Insecurity in Relationships 23:08 Learning to Receive and Ask for Help 28:27 Navigating Attachment Wounds 30:30 The Growth and Healing Process 33:01 The Importance of Rest in Therapy 33:53 Closing Remarks 33:58 Self-Compassion and Acceptance 34:46 Naming and Addressing Gremlins 35:04 Protectiveness and Support PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/30051823
231 Autism Identification Should Come with a Warning Label (Including Autistic Burnout) Autism Identification Should Come with a Warning Label (Including Autistic Burnout) There are things that happen to most autistic people once they identify as autistic, and there should be a warning label! If you’re late diagnosed, and high masking, there’s a good chance you are, or will be in autistic burnout. There’s also skill regression, and not being able to push through anymore. This can be confusing and distressing. I bring you up to date on my health journey, and where I’m at with autistic burnout, and I provide a few resources. HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this episode, Patricia provides a personal update on her health and discusses the challenges of identifying as autistic. She shares her experiences with navigating the healthcare system and dealing with health issues such as vestibular neuritis. Patricia also explores the impact of autistic burnout and trauma, as well as the need for positive male archetypes in her life. She discusses the lack of reciprocity in relationships and the importance of self-compassion and rest. Patricia concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace all parts of themselves and share the podcast with others. Autistic Burnout Autistic burnout is a phenomenon experienced by many individuals, characterized by extreme exhaustion, mental fatigue, and sensory overload. It often results from prolonged periods of masking, camouflaging, and trying to fit into neurotypical expectations, leading to a depletion of cognitive and emotional resources. Autistic burnout can manifest as difficulty in functioning, heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional meltdowns, and a sense of overwhelm. Recognizing the signs of autistic burnout is crucial for individuals to prioritize self-care, seek support, and make necessary adjustments to prevent further exhaustion. Strategies to manage autistic burnout may include setting boundaries, practicing sensory regulation techniques, engaging in self-soothing activities, and seeking therapy or counseling. Creating a supportive environment that accommodates sensory needs, communication preferences, and individual differences can help prevent and alleviate autistic burnout. Educating employers, educators, and healthcare providers about autistic burnout can lead to more inclusive and accommodating environments for autistic individuals. Understanding one's neurodivergent traits can help individuals recognize their limits, advocate for their needs, and navigate challenges related to autistic burnout. Building a support network of understanding friends, family members, therapists, and fellow neurodivergent individuals can provide emotional support and validation during periods of autistic burnout. Benefits of having an autism diagnosis (either self-diagnosis or formal diagnosis) for myself Self-identification and diagnosis in the autistic community are helpful in understanding one's unique neurodivergent traits and needs. It helps individuals access appropriate support, accommodations, and resources tailored to their specific differences and strengths. Self-identification empowers individuals to embrace their identity and connect with a supportive community of like-minded individuals. Diagnosis provides validation and a sense of relief for many individuals who have long struggled with feeling different or misunderstood. Understanding one's autism can lead to better self-awareness and self-acceptance, promoting mental well-being and confidence. It allows individuals to advocate for themselves in various settings, such as education, employment, and healthcare, ensuring their needs are met. Diagnosis can help individuals navigate social interactions, sensory sensitivities, and other aspects of daily life more effectively. Early diagnosis in children can lead to early intervention and support, improving long-term outcomes and quality of life. It helps dispel misconceptions and stigma surrounding autism, promoting acceptance and inclusion in society. Self-identification and diagnosis contribute to a more accurate representation of the diverse autistic community, highlighting the spectrum of experiences and challenges individuals may face. Takeaways Identifying as autistic can come with challenges and a range of emotions, including anger, grief, and frustration. Navigating the healthcare system can be difficult, especially when seeking a diagnosis or specialized care. Autistic burnout is a real phenomenon that can lead to skill regression and a decreased ability to function. Self-compassion and rest are essential for managing autistic burnout and maintaining overall well-being. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Personal Update 01:15 The Challenges of Identifying as Autistic 02:08 Struggling with Health Issues 03:32 Navigating the Healthcare System 04:36 The Impact of Vestibular Neuritis 05:59 Autistic Burnout and Trauma 07:15 Grief and Anger in the Autism Journey 08:31 Childhood Experiences and Identity 09:50 The Need for Male Archetypes 11:19 Seeking Support and Advocacy 12:42 The Lack of Reciprocity in Relationships 13:54 Navigating Small World and Limited Energy 15:14 Accepting Where You Are 16:33 The Impact of Autism Diagnosis 17:54 The Complexity of Autism Presentation 19:46 The Validity of Self-Diagnosis 20:21 The Illusion of Neurotypical Functioning 21:31 Embracing Autism as a Disability 22:35 Understanding Autistic Burnout 23:46 The Impact of Medical Appointments 25:17 The Harsh Inner Critic and Self-Compassion 26:12 Fear of Not Functioning 27:05 The Lack of Recognition for Autistic Experiences 28:11 Observing Reciprocity in Relationships 29:07 The Importance of Rest and Self-Care 30:00 The Impact of Autistic Burnout on Work 31:06 Embracing All Parts of Yourself 32:20 Conclusion and Call to Share the Podcast Additional Takeaways Seek consent and ask for permission before sharing personal reactions or opinions in conversations. Be authentic and true to yourself in personal relationships, while also considering the needs and perspectives of others. Strive for a balance between routine and self-care, and be patient with yourself when facing setbacks. Set realistic expectations and practice self-compassion when working towards personal goals. Create an affirming household that acknowledges and accommodates the different needs of family members. Recognize and respect personal endurance and self-regulation in social situations. Embrace self-expression and navigate social interactions in a way that aligns with your neurodivergent traits. Take ownership of your own fulfillment and celebrate holidays in a way that aligns with your desires and needs. Seek support and embrace your sensitivity as a valuable aspect of your identity. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introdruction: 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 01:28 Giving Consent in Relationships 04:44 Being Authentic and Reacting in Personal Relationships 07:27 Struggling with Routine and Self-Care 10:05 Setting Expectations and Practicing Self-Compassion 11:32 Navigating Family Dynamics and Accommodating Needs 16:31 Managing Personal Endurance and Self-Regulation 20:53 Navigating Social Situations and Self-Expression 22:17 Celebrating Holidays and Self-Fulfillment 25:36 Seeking Support and Embracing Sensitivity PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29953478
230 Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways Jen and I touch on so much in this episode: challenges setting boundaries; structure vs. the need for novelty (ADHD vs. autism), attachment injuries and bids for connection; the challenges and gifts of hard conversations; what neuro-affirming therapy looks like; PDA and focusing on others to reduce demands; masking; what comes up when someone suspects they are autistic or are recently diagnosed. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss various topics related to parenting, boundaries, and self-discovery. They explore the challenges of adjusting to new structures and parenting roles, as well as the importance of partnering with children and acknowledging limitations. They also discuss the significance of modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability. The conversation delves into navigating personal preferences and resistance, expressing needs and bids for connection, and the importance of setting boundaries and embracing autonomy. They also touch on the process of recognizing and embracing an autistic identity, as well as the roller coaster of emotions that can come with this realization. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, authenticity, and deepening intimacy in relationships. Takeaways · Adjusting to new structures and parenting roles can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for growth and learning. · Modeling imperfection and repairing emotional availability can strengthen relationships and create a sense of safety and trust. · Setting boundaries and embracing autonomy are essential for self-care and maintaining healthy relationships. · Becoming your own heroine in your life and your story · Assessing what you want in relationships, and seeing if the people who are disappointing you are people you would choose · Communicating when it you’re wanting a bid for connection · Addressing our attachment wounds in relationship is really an act of service to the relationship · The ongoing challenge between ADHD and the need for novelty and with autism wanting routine and structure · Conflict and avoidance of conflict can be hard, and having difficult conversations can also be hard. How does it help the relationship? · The importance of having autistic or neuro-affirming therapists and coaches since allistic practitioners can cause more trauma and harm · If you’re recently diagnosed autistic or suspect you are autistic, you may experience skill regression, difficulty doing things you previously did, and your identify may be shaken up (there’s grief and anger there as well) · Ways your PDA may be showing up and things you have learned to do to minimize having your nervous system activated · You may have been socialized to be “other focused,” which makes it hard to know what you are wanting and needing, and it can be a form of masking, and it may reduce PDA and RSD Recognizing and embracing an autistic identity can bring validation and understanding, but it can also be accompanied by a roller coaster of emotions and a need for self-reflection. Chapters (adjust time for the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Checking In 01:18 Adjusting to New Structure and Parenting 03:03 Partnering with Children and Acknowledging Limitations 04:23 Modeling Imperfection and Repairing Emotional Availability 05:05 Exploring Personal Challenges and Seeking Support 06:41 Navigating Personal Preferences and Resistance 08:08 Expressing Needs and Bids for Connection 09:35 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Repairing Ruptures 10:51 Taking Risks and Embracing Discomfort 12:40 Honoring Wounds and Attending to Healing 14:51 Setting Boundaries and Embracing Autonomy 16:40 Navigating Conflict and Deepening Intimacy 19:03 Recognizing Autistic Identity and Processing Emotions 23:53 Reevaluating Relationships and Prioritizing Values 27:10 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Reflection 31:57 Navigating the Roller Coaster of Autistic Identity 32:44 Conclusion PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29847428
229 Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts Jen and I talk about the difference between complaining, speaking honestly about what’s going on, and the other person’s capacity to sit with things that they may feel they need to fix or change. Many of you have been told that you complain too much or that you’re too negative. Neurodivergent brains tend to report the truth, and we are very discerning about what we like and what we don’t like. This can be perceived as negativity, complaining or being depressing to be around. What if it really wasn’t about you? CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss the difference between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles. They explore the challenges of navigating conversations around difficult topics and the importance of holding space for each other's experiences. They also delve into the healing process and the acceptance of trauma, emphasizing the need to honor and validate our own emotions. The conversation highlights the significance of checking intentions and capacity in communication, as well as the transformative power of being in relationship with our experiences. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of speaking from a part versus speaking for a part. They explore the concept of unprocessed trauma and how it can affect communication. They also discuss the significance of acknowledging and balancing pain, as well as differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part. The conversation highlights the role of chaperoning the part and the importance of validating and witnessing pain. Finally, they find humor in the uncertainty of their podcast episodes. Takeaways Differentiate between complaining and sharing honestly about personal struggles. Hold space for each other's experiences and validate emotions. Accept and heal from trauma by being in relationship with our experiences. Check intentions and capacity in communication to ensure effective and compassionate conversations. It is important to speak from a part rather than speaking for a part. Unprocessed trauma can impact communication and lead to a desire for others to intuitively understand and fix our needs. Acknowledging and balancing pain can help in managing distressing emotions. Differentiating between acting from a part and speaking for a part can provide clarity in communication. Chaperoning the part involves bringing in other perspectives and validating the pain experienced. Validating and witnessing pain is crucial in processing unprocessed trauma. Finding humor in uncertainty can help alleviate pressure and create a lighter atmosphere. Chapters (adjust for addition of introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates 02:34 Differentiating Between Complaining and Sharing 08:15 Healing and Accepting Trauma 13:25 The Healing Process and Holding Space 16:53 The Energy of Holding Space and Acceptance 23:39 Checking Intentions and Capacity in Communication 27:19 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Boundaries 32:24 Processing Trauma and Holding Space for Emotions 36:29 The Complexity of Communication and Trauma Responses 38:55 Being in Relationship with Our Experiences and Healing 39:52 Speaking from a Part vs. Speaking for a Part 40:38 Identifying Unprocessed Trauma 41:33 Acknowledging and Balancing Pain 42:14 Differentiating Acting from Speaking 42:53 Chaperoning the Part 43:22 Validating and Witnessing Pain 43:42 Finding Humor in Uncertainty PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29756828
228 Getting from Here to There When You’ve Lost Your Routine Getting from Here to There When You’ve Lost Your Routine How do you get back in a groove after you’ve gotten out of it? We often assume we can jump back in, but sometimes it’s harder than that. I also talk about getting consent in relationships before giving feedback and advice. Attuning to the other person is the best gift you can give someone. This means dropping your agenda. I also talk about how to communicate your sensory needs when others are unaware. It can be exhausting it can be for us when we have to compensate and when we are overstimulated. HIGHLIGHTS 20 takeaways from this episode: 1. Strategies for managing the transition from the holiday season to regular routines. 2. Tips for handling difficult conversations with loved ones. 3. The importance of active listening in communication. 4. How to show empathy and validate others' feelings. 5. The benefits of setting clear boundaries in conversations. 6. The use of "I" statements to express thoughts and feelings. 7. The importance of seeking compromise in challenging discussions. 8. The value of taking breaks during emotionally charged conversations. 9. The benefits of seeking professional help from a therapist or coach. 10. Understanding attachment wounds and their impact on relationships. 11. The concept of PDA (pathological demand avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy) and its effects on communication. 12. The importance of attunement in relationships. 13. The role of consent in sharing with someone who is struggling. 14. The value of self-compassion and acceptance of all emotions. 15. Strategies for managing sensitivity and emotional reactions. 16. The benefits of eliminating inflammatory foods from one's diet. 17. The challenges of navigating family dynamics during the holiday season. 18. The importance of managing expectations in relationships. 19. The value of self-reflection and self-awareness in communication. 20. The benefits of practicing mindfulness and self-care in daily life. Additional Takeaways Seek consent and ask for permission before sharing personal reactions or opinions in conversations. Be authentic and true to yourself in personal relationships, while also considering the needs and perspectives of others. Strive for a balance between routine and self-care, and be patient with yourself when facing setbacks. Set realistic expectations and practice self-compassion when working towards personal goals. Create an affirming household that acknowledges and accommodates the different needs of family members. Recognize and respect personal endurance and self-regulation in social situations. Embrace self-expression and navigate social interactions in a way that aligns with your neurodivergent traits. Take ownership of your own fulfillment and celebrate holidays in a way that aligns with your desires and needs. Seek support and embrace your sensitivity as a valuable aspect of your identity. Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introdruction: 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 01:28 Giving Consent in Relationships 04:44 Being Authentic and Reacting in Personal Relationships 07:27 Struggling with Routine and Self-Care 10:05 Setting Expectations and Practicing Self-Compassion 11:32 Navigating Family Dynamics and Accommodating Needs 16:31 Managing Personal Endurance and Self-Regulation 20:53 Navigating Social Situations and Self-Expression 22:17 Celebrating Holidays and Self-Fulfillment 25:36 Seeking Support and Embracing Sensitivity PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29633138
227 Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an autism diagnosis and reviewing life through the lens of autism. We also emphasize embracing imperfection and practicing self-care and self-compassion. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their current states and challenges, including the impact of attachment injuries and autism. They explore the importance of reframing and unpacking an autism diagnoses. They also discuss the significance of embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion. The conversation delves into the difference between speaking for parts and speaking from parts, as well as the challenges of feeling seen and heard in relationships. They also touch on the role of technology in communication and the connection between self-worth and expressing love. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the pressure to show up and overperform, particularly in relation to masking and societal expectations. They explore the idea of letting go of perfection in expressing self-worth and the impact it has on relationships. They also delve into managing expectations and self-pressure, recognizing that others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Finally, they touch on the importance of embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them. Takeaways The pressure to show up and overperform can be overwhelming, especially for individuals who feel the need to mask their true selves. Letting go of the idea of perfection in expressing self-worth can lead to greater ease and authenticity in relationships. Managing expectations and self-pressure is crucial for maintaining mental well-being, as others often have different expectations than we do for ourselves. Embracing different parts of ourselves and being in relationship with them allows for a more integrated and balanced sense of self. Summary · Navigating life with autism and managing attachment injuries. · The impact of autism on daily routines and family dynamics. · Understanding the challenges of having food, routines, and independence, · Embracing imperfection and letting go of perfectionism, · Recognizing the need for gentleness and self-compassion, especially with the inner critic. · Exploring the concept of "autistic burnout" and its impact on daily life and mental health. · Reflecting on the journey of self-discovery and acceptance after receiving an autism diagnosis. · Embracing the process of reframing past experiences through the lens of autism. · Navigating the complexities of showing love and care. · Understanding the diverse ways individuals express love and support within the neurodivergent community. · Addressing the challenges of communication and maintaining connections · Exploring the impact of ADHD and neurodivergence on memory, attention, and maintaining social patterns. · Recognizing the importance of open communication and managing expectations in relationships. · Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging the impact of attachment wounds in personal interactions. · Insights into the journey of self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth as a neurodivergent person Chapters (will need to be adjusted with the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Current State 01:07 Exploring Attachment Injuries and Autism 04:04 Accepting the Autism Diagnosis 09:26 Leaning into Challenges and Reframing 12:26 Navigating Self-Criticism and Self-Judgment 15:19 Embracing Imperfection and Self-Compassion 19:01 Speaking for Parts vs. Speaking from Parts 23:28 Being Fully Present in Life 28:02 Feeling Seen and Heard in Relationships 30:03 Navigating Technology and Communication 34:26 Self-Worth and Expressing Love 36:15 Hustling for Self-Worth and Activation 37:02 The Pressure to Show Up and Overperform 38:06 Letting Go of Perfection in Expressing Self-Worth 39:11 Managing Expectations and Self-Pressure 39:27 Embracing Different Parts of Ourselves PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29533348
226 The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. This episode is helpful for anyone who may be struggling. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their personal struggles with health issues, specifically vertigo and its impact on their daily lives. They explore the challenges of navigating uncertainty, the importance of showing up authentically even when it's hard, and the need for self-compassion and self-care. They also delve into topics such as perception, autonomy, and the role of humor in medical settings. The conversation highlights the significance of connection, vulnerability, and understanding in supporting one another during difficult times. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring one's own needs and limitations. In this conversation, Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of effective communication and provide practical tips for improving communication skills. They explore the role of active listening, empathy, non-verbal communication, cultural sensitivity, and overcoming communication barriers. The conversation emphasizes the significance of clear and respectful communication in personal and professional relationships. · We discuss the challenges of being perceived and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. · The conversation touches on topics such as autism, PDA, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD). · We discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. · It’s okay to not have it all together. · We talk about the pressure of gift-giving and the anxiety it can cause for neurodivergent individuals. · We discuss the concept of being in charge and the nervous system getting activated when feeling a loss of autonomy (PDA—Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy). · We friends share our experiences with PDA and how it affects our daily lives. · We talk about the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to avoid burnout. · We discuss the challenges of being vulnerable and the fear of rejection that comes with it. · The conversation touches on the importance of self-acceptance and embracing one's unique traits. · We discuss the impact of childhood experiences on our current struggles and coping mechanisms. · We share our experiences with medical care and how we navigate uncomfortable situations. · We talk about the importance of humor and how it can humanize otherwise sterile environments. · The conversation ends with a reminder to be kind to oneself and to embrace imperfection as a part of the human experience. Takeaways Navigating health issues can be challenging and uncertain, but it's important to show up authentically and seek support. Self-compassion and self-care are crucial during difficult times, even if it means letting go of expectations and prioritizing rest. Communication and understanding are key in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating challenges together. Humor and vulnerability can provide comfort and connection in medical settings, helping to humanize the experience. Effective communication is crucial for building strong relationships and resolving conflicts. Active listening and empathy are essential skills for effective communication. Non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can convey important messages. Cultural sensitivity is important for understanding and respecting diverse communication styles. Identifying and overcoming communication barriers can improve the quality of communication. Chapters (these times need to be adjusted to the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone 01:10 Modeling How to Show Up and Do Life Even When It's Hard 02:06 Supporting Each Other and Being Present 02:31 Understanding and Sharing Personal Health Struggles 06:10 The Uncertainty and Challenges of Dealing with Vertigo 09:01 The Impact of Dizziness on Daily Life and Activities 10:15 Navigating the Emotional and Mental Toll of Health Issues 12:30 The Importance of Connection and Honesty in Difficult Times 13:40 Exploring Personal Awareness and Self-Reflection 21:11 The Influence of Perception and Autonomy on Self-Care 23:51 The Role of Humor and Vulnerability in Medical Settings 26:14 Navigating Overwhelm and Setting Boundaries During the Holidays 29:03 Recognizing Soul Fatigue and the Need for Rest 31:37 Reevaluating Expectations and Prioritizing Self-Care 35:20 Communicating Needs and Understanding Each Other 37:30 Reflection and Gratitude 02:30 The Importance of Effective Communication 08:15 Active Listening and Empathy 15:45 Non-Verbal Communication 22:10 Cultural Sensitivity and Communication 29:20 Overcoming Communication Barriers 35:10 Conclusion PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29435283
225 Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) I discuss being diagnosed Autistic with a PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profile. I express frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as I don’t see myself in the criteria. I highlight the common misdiagnosis of PDA as oppositional defiant disorder in children, emphasizing the need for a deeper understanding of neurodivergent experiences. I advocate a shift from viewing differences as deficits, and the importance of recognizing the unique perspectives of neurodivergent individuals. HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this episode, Patricia shares her personal reflections on being diagnosed autistic and the challenges she faces with Pathological Demand Avoidance, (PDA). Patricia prefers Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy instead. She discusses the differences between autism and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of autism. Patricia also explores how PDA affects parenting and the need for low-demand environments. She reflects on her struggles with holiday traditions and the importance of self-acceptance and embracing stimming. Additionally, Patricia discusses the impact of seasonal changes and offers insights into managing PDA in daily life. She concludes with a book she enjoyed reading that has coded autistic characters in it. Some of the challenges and awarenesses about being autistic and having a PDA profile: · Patricia shares her frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as she does not see herself in the criteria. It was written for white boys who externalize their symptoms. Many late-diagnosed, high-masking folks tend to internalize their presentation, and they go undiagnosed and don’t see themselves in the criteria, which needs to be updated. · Patricia emphasizes the importance of understanding the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals and the need to look at differences rather than deficits. · She expresses her passion for wanting researchers and experts in the field of ADHD, autism, and HSP to work collaboratively to find commonalities. · Patricia talks about the challenges of being formally diagnosed with autism and how it has led to a year of "Ahas." · She shares insights into how PDA shows up in her life, including anticipating things that could go wrong and giving people permission to not respond. Takeaways Understanding the lived experience of autism is crucial for creating a supportive environment. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) also known as Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy, can be misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder and is characterized by nervous system dysregulation. Parents with PDA may face challenges in parenting neurodivergent children and may benefit from creating low-demand environments. Embracing self-acceptance and allowing oneself to stim can lead to a greater sense of joy and freedom. Seasonal changes can impact mood and energy levels, and it's important to listen to one's body and practice self-care. Anticipating demands and setting boundaries can help manage PDA and reduce stress. The book 'Lessons in Chemistry' features characters who are coded as autistic and explores themes of feminism and neurodiversity. Chapters (please adjust times with the addition of the introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections 01:58 Understanding PDA and Autism 06:49 Challenges of Parenting with PDA 08:18 Navigating Holiday Traditions 16:08 Embracing Stimming and Self-Acceptance 17:32 Coping with Winter and Seasonal Changes 24:05 Managing PDA in Daily Life 27:31 Anticipating and Resisting Demands 28:52 Book Recommendation: Lessons in Chemistry 30:17 Closing Remarks and Invitation PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29325598
224 Building Trust in Neurodivergent Settings: Overcoming Group Apprehension Building Trust in Neurodivergent Settings: Overcoming Group Apprehension Ellie and Patricia highlight the importance of creating inclusive spaces that foster trust, comfort, and collaboration for neurodivergent folks. They discuss the benefits of tailoring curriculum to individual and group needs. This episode also touches on the depth and organic nature of group conversations, and the role of personalized attention within a structured framework. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of creating supportive and inclusive environments for neurodivergent individuals. GUEST Ellie HIGHLIGHTS Summary This conversation explores the experiences and dynamics of the Online HSP Course and how it fits with being autistic or identifying as neurodivergent. The episode covers topics such as trust and comfort in the group, creating a safe and supportive environment, addressing social issues, embracing whole identities, gaining different perspectives, and forming connections and friendships. The conversation highlights the importance of personalized attention, optional participation, and creating a neurodivergent-friendly space. It also emphasizes the value of feeling seen, heard, and honored in the group. The participants discuss the unexpected benefits and the lasting connections that were formed through the course. Takeaways Creating a safe and supportive environment is crucial for a group focused on highly sensitive people and neurodivergent individuals. Embracing whole identities and recognizing marginalized parts of ourselves can lead to a sense of belonging and understanding in the group. Optional participation and personalized attention allow individuals to engage in a way that feels comfortable and authentic to them. Forming connections and friendships within the group can provide validation, support, and a sense of community. The dynamics of a smaller group can lead to deeper conversations and a stronger sense of cohesion. Some topics covered in this episode: 1. Neurodivergence and its representation in the course 2. Personal perspectives and interactions with course material 3. Overcoming apprehensions about joining a group 4. The dynamics of group participation and introversion 5. Creating a supportive and inclusive group environment 6. Addressing potential group members' concerns 7. Establishing core values and expectations for group participation 8. Discussions on social issues and human rights 9. Tailoring the curriculum to individual and group needs 10. Group size and its impact on interactions 11. Depth and organic nature of group conversations 12. Personalized attention within a structured framework 13. Flexibility and guidance in group discussions 14. Trust and comfort in participating in the course 15. Impact of discussions on autism and neurodivergence within the HSP group Chapters (please add time to account for introduction 00:00 Introduction and Spontaneous Recording 00:46 Initial Thoughts about the Group 01:45 Trust and Comfort in the Group 02:09 Discussion about Autism in the Group 03:08 Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment 04:27 Addressing Social Issues in the Group 05:29 Intersectionality and Embracing Whole Identities 06:15 Recognizing Marginalized Parts of Ourselves 07:02 Expectations and Insight in the Group 08:17 Gaining Different Perspectives in the Group 09:24 Learning and Sharing Experiences in the Group 10:40 Creating a Cohesive Group 11:19 Building Trust and Connection in the Group 12:02 Different Perspectives on Group Cohesion 13:03 Feeling Safe and Comfortable in the Group 14:03 Optional Participation and Individual Needs 15:47 Forming Connections and Friendships in the Group 17:40 Validation and Understanding in the Group 19:37 Feeling Seen, Heard, and Honored in the Group 20:23 Personalized Attention and Tailored Discussions 23:14 Flexibility and Personalized Approach in the Group 24:46 Creating a Safe and Neurodivergent-Friendly Space 26:12 Feeling Safe and Understood in the Group 28:18 Addressing the Lack of Mention of Neurodivergence in the Course 30:17 Recommendations for Joining the Course 32:57 Continuing Connections and Friendships after the Course 36:31 Smaller Group Dynamics and Cohesion 39:25 Acknowledging Different Group Experiences 40:07 Gratitude and Positive Feedback GUEST BIO Ellie is a corporate professional in a senior manager position. Through experiencing significant burnout, she was identified as autistic earlier this year. Her formal diagnosis followed. Leading up to her diagnosis and through today, she has been searching for information to help her understand her autism and for strategies for managing the seemingly endless effort it takes to be her in a world that expects her not to be autistic. LINKS HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29264333
223 Neurodivergent Insights: Navigating ADHD, Autism, PDA and Communication Neurodivergent Insights: Navigating ADHD, Autism, PDA, and Communication Jen and I discuss the challenges of living with ADHD, Autism and PDA, including communication difficulties and perception of reality. We talk about how these show up for us differently, and how we navigate some of the challenges. I also share about disclosing to my MD about being autistic, and how that was received. We also talk about the difficulty of the holidays for some, and some end of year reflections that may (or may not be) helpful. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary This conversation explores the challenges and dynamics of relationships when one or both individuals have Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), also known as Pervasive/Persisten Drive for Autonomy, a profile of autism. The speakers discuss how PDA shows up in their lives and the importance of understanding and managing individual differences. They emphasize the need for generosity, repair, and open communication in relationships. The conversation also touches on the impact of sensory issues, the role of medication in managing ADHD and autism symptoms, and the significance of end-of-year reflections and holiday traditions. Overall, the speakers highlight the importance of embracing and honoring different experiences and finding gentleness in navigating relationships and the holiday season. In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss the importance of effective communication and provide practical tips for improving communication skills. They cover topics such as active listening, empathy, non-verbal communication, building trust and rapport, and conflict resolution. The conversation emphasizes the significance of clear and open communication in personal and professional relationships. Takeaways Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), also called Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy, can present challenges in relationships, particularly in terms of communication and managing expectations. Generosity, repair, and open communication are essential in maintaining healthy relationships when one or both individuals have a PDA profile. Understanding and embracing individual differences, such as sensory issues and different perspectives, can foster empathy and connection in relationships. Managing ADHD and autism symptoms may involve medication, but it is important to consider individual needs and preferences. Effective communication is crucial for building and maintaining relationships. Active listening and empathy are key components of effective communication. Non-verbal communication, such as body language and tone of voice, can greatly impact the message being conveyed. Building trust and rapport is essential for effective communication. Conflict resolution skills are important for resolving disagreements and maintaining healthy relationships. Finally, end-of-year reflections and holiday traditions can be meaningful to assess growth and change during the year. Some ideas for these reflections are given, but it is essential to prioritize self-care and find what works best for each individual. Topics covered in order: Introduction and PDA in Relationships Managing PDA in Relationships Understanding Different Perspectives Generosity and Repair in Relationships Sensory Issues and Individual Differences Communication and Understanding in Relationships Shared Realities and Overlapping Perspectives Embracing Quirks and Repairing Relationships ADHD Medication and Neurodivergent Perspectives Managing ADHD and Autism Symptoms Reflections on the End of the Year Finding What Works for You Disclosing Autism to Healthcare Practitioners Navigating Holiday Cards and Expectations Taking Time for End-of-Year Reflection Honoring Different Experiences during the Holidays Unpacking Expectations and Finding Gentleness The Importance of Effective Communication Active Listening and Empathy Non-Verbal Communication Building Trust and Rapport Conflict Resolution Conclusion PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29133033
222 Redinfining Success for the Neurodivergent Redefining Success for the Neurodivergent Jen and I discuss the concept of success and how it is often measured by neurotypical norms. We challenge these measures, and explore alternative ways to define and measure success for the neurodivergent. We emphasize the importance of authenticity, having hard conversations, and embracing imperfection. We also discuss the value of uncertainty and not knowing, and how it can lead to creativity and growth. We invite you to redefine success on your own terms and find joy and fulfillment in your own unique journeys. it. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS The conversation explores the concept of uncertainty and its relationship with creativity. It emphasizes the idea that uncertainty can be a space for endless possibilities and encourages embracing the uncomfortable and the unknown. Takeaways · Success can be measured in ways that go beyond traditional measures, such as productivity and achievements. · Authenticity and the ability to have hard conversations are important aspects of success. · Embracing imperfection and being okay with not knowing are key to personal growth and creativity. · Success can be defined on an individual level, based on personal values and priorities. Uncertainty can be a creative space where anything can happen. · Embracing uncertainty allows for exploration and new opportunities. · Being comfortable with uncertainty can lead to personal growth and development. Chapters These will need to be slightly adjusted since the introduction is not calculated into this 00:00 Introduction and Thanksgiving Dilemma 01:44 Defining Success and Productivity 02:57 Measuring Success by Making Others Feel Safe 03:52 Challenging Traditional Measures of Success 06:10 Authenticity and Success 07:32 Having Hard Conversations 08:15 Process Over Content 09:57 Accepting Imperfection and Procrastination 11:43 Navigating Difficult Conversations 13:54 Unconditional Love and Boundaries 15:41 Measuring Success in Relationships 17:42 Being Messy and Imperfect 19:32 Embracing Uncertainty and Not Knowing 37:11 Embracing Uncertainty PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/29064758
221 Navigating Relationship Bumps: Whose Stuff is This? Navigating Relationship Bumps: Whose Stuff is This? Once again, I had a bump in a relationship, and I got to see that I had a part in it. Our fear of rejection, abandonment, or someone getting angry with us, can prevent us from having difficult conversations. We minimize our feelings for fear of being too sensitive. When we do this work enough, eventually, remaining silent, no longer works. I got pretty dysregulated, but I was able to manage. It was more important to share my feelings than worrying about managing the other person’s feelings. HIGHLIGHTS What you will learn from this podcast: · Strategies for managing stress during the holiday season · How to navigate relationship bumps and take responsibility for our own feelings · The concept of "gremlins" and how they can hold us back in life · How to identify and recognize when our gremlins are present · The importance of practicing self-compassion and reframing negative thoughts · How to manage fear of rejection and being "too much" · The difference between our expectations and reality · How to find balance and fulfillment in life · The benefits of setting boundaries in relationships · How to communicate effectively in relationships · The importance of self-care and self-love · How to deal with feelings of overwhelm and burnout · The role of perfectionism in our lives and how to overcome it · How to cultivate gratitude and noticing what is going right · The power of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships · How to set goals and work towards them · The benefits of mindfulness and meditation · How to develop a growth mindset · The importance of self-reflection and self-awareness · How to cultivate resilience and bounce back from setbacks What are Gremlins and how to work with them: "Gremlins" refer to the negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that can hold us back in life. Acknowledging your gremlins can make them feel more manageable. Identifying them and recognizing them when they are present can also help. Practicing self-compassion and reframing negative thoughts into more neutral thoughts can help. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28959148
220 Navigating Competing Needs in a Relationship Navigating Competing Needs in a Relationship Jen & I talk about having competing needs while I was visiting her, and what came up for me, and how we navigated having uncomfortable feelings. We look at this through the lens of neurodivergence (Autism, HSP, ADHD and PDA). We also explore the difficulty I had as a neurodivergent person assessing if I had a good time on the trip or not. We also look at where we blended well and what we will do differently next time. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Navigating shifts in relationships can be challenging, but there are strategies and tools that can help. By being proactive and intentional, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships that can weather the storms of change. Some specific strategies and tools for navigating shifts in relationships include: - Communication: Open and honest communication is key to navigating shifts in relationships. This includes · Active listening, expressing needs and boundaries, and being willing to compromise and negotiate. · Self-reflection: Taking time to reflect on our own needs, values, and goals can help us navigate shifts in relationships more effectively. This includes identifying our own triggers and patterns, and being willing to take responsibility for our own actions and emotions. · Seeking support: Building a support network of friends, family, or professionals can provide us with the resources and guidance we need to navigate shifts in relationships. This includes seeking out therapy, coaching, or other forms of support when needed. · Practicing self-care: Taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally can help us navigate shifts in relationships more effectively. This includes getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy food, as well as engaging in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. · Cultivating gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of our relationships and expressing gratitude for the people in our lives can help us navigate shifts in relationships with a sense of perspective and appreciation. Navigating shifts in relationships can be tough, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed or uncertain. It's important to recognize that these challenges are normal and can be overcome with the right tools and support. By acknowledging and addressing these difficulties, we can strengthen our relationships and build deeper connections with those we care about. Some common challenges people face during times of change include · Uncertainty and fear of the unknown · Loss of trust or communication breakdowns · Competing needs and priorities · Differences in values or goals · Resistance to change or difficulty adapting · Emotional triggers or unresolved issues from the past During times of change, it can be tempting to withdraw or put up walls to protect ourselves. However, by embracing transparency and vulnerability, we can create a deeper sense of connection and understanding with those around us. By sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, we can build trust, encourage empathy, and foster growth and learning. This can help reduce conflict and misunderstandings, and create a sense of safety and security for ourselves and others. Ultimately, by being open and honest, we can strengthen our relationships and build deeper connections with those we care about. · Building trust and intimacy: When we share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others, we create a deeper sense of connection and understanding. · Encouraging empathy and compassion: By being vulnerable, we allow others to see our humanity and can inspire empathy and compassion in others. · Fostering growth and learning: When we are transparent about our struggles and challenges, we create opportunities for growth and learning, both for ourselves and for others. · Reducing conflict and misunderstandings: By being open and honest, we can avoid misunderstandings and conflicts that can arise from miscommunication or hidden agendas. · Creating a sense of safety and security: When we are transparent and vulnerable, we create a safe space for ourselves and others to be authentic and true to ourselves. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28873923
219 When Your Stuff Bumps Up Against Your Friend's Stuff When Your Stuff Bumps Up Against Your Friend’s Stuff How do you navigate feeling hurt in a relationship, and the other person doesn’t understand (or realize) that you have been hurt? What do you do when the other person thinks you want space, but you feel hurt, and that’s not what you need, but you think the other person is distancing from you? Is it ok to text or email someone when you feel hurt and a phone call or in-person conversation feels overwhelming? I also talk about my dislike of costumes and what that brings up for me. HIGHLIGHTS · The episode discusses what happens when our stuff bumps up against someone else's stuff and how to navigate those situations. • · The author shares a personal experience of sharing an experience on the podcast and how the person being talked about felt about this. · The importance of communication and being mindful of how our words and actions can affect others in our relationships is emphasized. • · The episode is relatable and discusses how our past experiences and trauma can impact our interactions with others. · The episode emphasizes the importance of communication skills in navigating difficult situations in relationships. • · The author models emotional intelligence by sharing a personal experience and reflecting on how their actions impacted others. • · The episode highlights the importance of being mindful of how our words and actions can affect others, and how to approach conversations with empathy and understanding. • · The author encourages listeners to reflect on their own past experiences and how they may be impacting their current relationships. • · The episode provides practical tips for how to approach difficult conversations, such as asking for permission before sharing personal information about others. • · The author also models vulnerability by sharing their own fears and insecurities about their ability to communicate effectively. · The importance of consent and clear communication asking for permission to share personal experiences is discussed. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is autistic helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28775898
218 Navigating Change: How to Stay True to Yourself While Traveling Navigating Change: How to Stay True to Yourself While Traveling Travelling and being a guest in someone’s home can be challenging due to change: adjusting to new routines, and being out of your routine. I spend a week with Jen, and we talk about checking in with each other, and my need for structure, and Jen’s lack of structure. We talk about structure vs. flexibility, and as an autistic, how do I honor how I’m wired and still go with the flow? We focus heavily on self-care and compassion. I also offer tips for travelling and packing that help me. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Travel tips and trips when visiting · Create a master travel list on your computer to help you stay organized · Adapt your travel list for each trip to ensure you bring everything you need · Keep a post-it note nearby (if your travel list isn’t handy) to jot down things you think of later · Pack a carry-on suitcase to make traveling easier · Bring a little bag with all your toiletries to save time and space · Allow yourself to have objections to new places and experiences, and be willing to consider the possibilities of how a new experience might be amazing · Recognize that change and novelty can be difficult for people who like sameness. This doesn’t mean that those people won’t enjoy new experiences though · Try to focus on the positive aspects of new experiences, like the possibility of having an amazing time · Be aware that plane rides can be difficult for some autistics · Find ways to make plane rides more comfortable, like bringing a comfort item, downloaded movies, books, and noise-cancelling headphones · Consider traveling with a partner or friend who understands your needs · Research your destination ahead of time to find out what accommodations are available · Be open to trying new things, like taking a day trip to explore your destination - Remember to check your schedule and make sure you don't have any appointments or commitments you've forgotten about · Be patient with yourself and others, and recognize that everyone's feelings and needs matter Overall themes discussed in this episode · People who are autistic may become familiar with their behaviors and not have any idea that others may have judgements about them · Checking in with yourself and being able to recognize your own feelings is important · Nonviolent communication is a useful tool for problem-solving and understanding others' needs · Many behaviors that are considered unusual or abnormal are actually quite normal. This is due to norms set by allistics (non-autstics). · It's important to talk about these behaviors so that people don't feel isolated or ashamed · Some autistics may have a hard time figuring out certain things · Coaching and support can be helpful for autistics · It's important to recognize that no behavior is inherently good or bad · Everyone's feelings and needs matter · Autistics can craft a lifestyle that meets their needs · Having a partner who understands your needs can be helpful Balancing the Need for Structure and Flexibility: Tips and Strategies – · Start by acknowledging that both structure and flexibility are important for your well-being and productivity. While structure provides a sense of stability and predictability, flexibility allows you to adapt to changing circumstances and explore new opportunities. – · Identify your core values and priorities, and use them as a guide for creating a flexible yet structured routine. For example, if you value creativity and learning, you may want to set aside some time each day for reading, writing, or experimenting with new ideas. - Experiment with different time-management techniques and tools, such as time blocking, Pomodoro technique, or task batching. These methods can help you stay focused and organized while also allowing for some flexibility and spontaneity. – · Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to tune into your body and mind's needs. If you feel overwhelmed or stressed, take a break, go for a walk, or do some deep breathing exercises. If you feel energized and inspired, use that momentum to tackle more challenging tasks or try something new. – · Be open to feedback and adjust your routine as needed. If you find that a particular strategy or tool is not working for you, don't be afraid to try something else. Remember that flexibility is not about being wishy-washy or indecisive, but about being adaptable and resilient. – · Finally, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Balancing structure and flexibility is not always easy, and it's okay to make mistakes or have setbacks. Celebrate your successes, learn from your failures, and keep moving forward with a growth mindset. · By following these tips and strategies, you can create a routine that honors your need for structure and flexibility while also optimizing your productivity and well-being. Remember, it's not about finding the perfect balance, but about finding what works best for you in the moment. Tips for Showing Up Authentically Without Overperforming: - · Start by defining what authenticity means to you. What are your core values, beliefs, and passions? What makes you unique and special? Use these insights to guide your actions and decisions. – · Set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Don't try to be perfect or please everyone. Instead, focus on doing your best and being true to yourself. – · Practice self-compassion and self-care. Take breaks when you need them, prioritize your well-being, and avoid comparing yourself to others. – · Be honest and transparent in your communication. Speak your truth with kindness and respect, and listen actively to others' perspectives. - Set boundaries and say no when necessary. · Don't overcommit or take on more than you can handle. Learn to prioritize your time and energy based on your needs and goals. – · Embrace your imperfections and mistakes. Remember that failure is a natural part of growth and learning. Use setbacks as opportunities to reflect, learn, and improve. – · Finally, surround yourself with supportive and accepting people who appreciate you for who you are. Seek out communities and relationships that align with your values and interests. · By following these tips, you can show up authentically without feeling the pressure to overperform or conform to others' expectations. Remember that authenticity is not about being perfect or flawless, but about being true to yourself and living a meaningful and fulfilling life. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA Profile helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28665308
217 Navigating Executive Dysfunction: Managing Busy Minds Navigating Executive Dysfunction: Managing Busy Minds Managing appointments, schedules and life can be challenging when you’ve got ADHD, AuDHD, or simply challenges with executive functioning. Jen and I talk about our struggles and the things that work for us. We talk about what may be more neuroaffirming. We also talk about the challenges of getting advice, or working with someone who doesn’t understand neurodiversity. For example: being told to try silent meditation, but that may not work when you’ve got a busy brain. Moving meditation may be a better fit. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Main points: · Challenges with executive functioning, including difficulty focusing on one thing and keeping track of appointments. · Using timers and reminders on your phone to help manage your schedule. · Valuing giving and receiving grace in personal and professional relationships · Learning to be more flexible and go with the flow in your work and personal life. · Recognizing the importance of understanding one's own needs and working styles. · Experimenting with different approaches to managing emotions and challenges, · The importance of self-compassion and being patient with oneself. · Normalizing challenges and struggles, helping individuals feel less alone. · Providing practical tips for managing appointments and reminders. · Modeling empathy and understanding, promoting connection and reducing isolation. · The conversation offers hope and inspiration to individuals who may be struggling. · The conversation raises awareness about executive functioning challenges and neurodivergence. · The speaker encourages individuals to prioritize their mental health and find strategies that work for them. · The speaker emphasizes the importance of communication and asking for support when needed. · The conversation touches on the importance of authenticity and mutual care in friendships. · The speaker encourages individuals to be honest about what they can and can't handle. · The conversation models self-reflection and encourages individuals to reflect on their own needs and challenges. · The speaker recognizes that different strategies work for different people and encourages individuals to find what works best for them. · The conversation emphasizes the importance of being realistic and not overcommitting oneself. · The speaker encourages individuals to use visual aids and get support when needed. Here are some strategies that individuals can use to manage their emotions and challenges: · Identify and name your needs: Recognize what you need to work best and feel supported. This includes understanding your own learning styles, communication preferences, and executive functioning challenges. · Use different tools and approaches: Consider using a combination of tools and approaches to manage your schedule and tasks. For example, you might use a paper calendar in addition to online tools because you need to visually see your schedule. · Communicate with others: Talk openly with others about your needs and challenges. Be honest about what you can and can't handle, and ask for support when needed. · Practice self-compassion: Show empathy and understanding for yourself. Acknowledge that it's okay to struggle with certain things, and be kind to yourself when facing challenges. · Find strategies that work for you: Experiment with different approaches to find what works best for you. Don't rely on a one-size-fits-all approach, and be open to trying new things. · Consider your mental health: Recognize that different strategies work for different people, and that some mental health advice may not be applicable to everyone. For example, if you have a very busy mind, a moving meditation might be more helpful than a silent meditation. · Be patient with yourself: Remember that managing emotions and challenges is a process, and it's okay to make mistakes or have setbacks. Be patient with yourself and keep working towards your goals. Here are some ways that this conversation might be helpful for others who experience similar feelings or difficulties: · Normalizes challenges: Hearing others talk about their struggles can help individuals feel less alone and more normal in their experiences. · Provides validation: When individuals hear others talk about similar challenges, it can help them feel validated and understood. · Offers practical tips: The conversation includes specific strategies for managing emotions and challenges, which can be helpful for individuals looking for new approaches to try. · Encourages self-reflection: Listening to others talk about their experiences can encourage individuals to reflect on their own needs and challenges, and consider new ways of approaching them. · Promotes empathy: The conversation models empathy and understanding, which can help individuals feel more connected to others and less isolated in their experiences. · Offers hope: Hearing about others' successes and positive experiences can offer hope and inspiration to individuals who may be struggling. · Raises awareness: The conversation touches on topics like executive functioning challenges and neurodivergence, which can help raise awareness and reduce stigma around these issues. Here are some practical tips for managing appointments and reminders: Use a calendar: · Whether it's a paper calendar or an online tool, having a calendar can help you keep track of your appointments and deadlines. · Set reminders: Use reminders on your phone or computer to alert you when an appointment is coming up or a deadline is approaching. · Set multiple reminders: If you tend to forget things easily, consider setting multiple reminders for each appointment or deadline. · Use a timer: Set a timer for yourself to help you stay on track during appointments or when working on a task. · Prioritize your schedule: If you have a lot of appointments or tasks to manage, prioritize them based on their importance and urgency. · Schedule buffer time: Leave some extra time between appointments or tasks to give yourself a break and avoid feeling overwhelmed. · Be realistic: Don't overcommit yourself by scheduling too many appointments or tasks in one day. Be realistic about what you can handle. · Use visual aids: If you're a visual learner, consider using color-coding or other visual aids to help you keep track of your schedule. · Get support: If you're struggling to manage your appointments and reminders, consider reaching out to a friend, family member, or mental health professional for support. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28559912
216 Friendships Can Be Bleeping Hard Friendships Can Be Bleeping Hard! Friendship struggles are real! How does being neurodivergent or specifically autistic impact friendships? Common themes of being misunderstood in spite having good intentions, and allowing others to see you in ways that are not how you see yourself. I talk about navigating breakups, not being able to do repair after a rupture, and using these painful experiences to clarify your values and what you want in your friendships. I also talk about coping strategies, support and self-care. HIGHLIGHTS Some common struggles in friendships if you’re neurodivergent: · Friendship struggles, relationships, friendships are hard · Struggling with communication and self-expression · Feeling misunderstood or not accepted by others · Difficulty with maintaining friendships over time · Struggling with boundaries and expressing needs · Feeling pressure to conform to societal expectations or norms · Struggling with self-doubt or imposter syndrome in social situations · Difficulty with finding supportive and inclusive communities · Difficulty with social cues and nonverbal communication · Sensory sensitivities that can make certain social situations overwhelming or uncomfortable · Difficulty with small talk or maintaining conversations on topics that are not of interest · Difficulty with understanding and navigating social hierarchies or power dynamics · Difficulty with understanding and expressing emotions in a way that is easily understood by others Tips for cultivating resilience and adaptability in the face of friendship struggles: - · Acknowledge and validate your emotions: It's okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or angry when a friendship goes through a rough patch. · Take time to process your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them without judgment. · Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend who is going through a tough time. Remember that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have. – · Seek support: Reach out to other friends, family members, or a therapist or coach for support and perspective. Talking through your feelings with someone you trust can help you gain clarity and feel less alone. – · Practice forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning hurtful behavior or pretending everything is okay. It means letting go of resentment and choosing to focus on healing and growth instead. · Set boundaries: If a friendship is consistently causing you stress or pain, it may be time to set boundaries or even end the friendship. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. – · Cultivate gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and relationships, even in the midst of struggles. Gratitude can help shift your perspective and increase your resilience. Common misconceptions about personal growth and how to reframe our expectations: Misconceptions: - · Personal growth is a linear process with a clear endpoint – · Personal growth means always being happy and positive – · Personal growth is a solitary journey that doesn't involve others – · Personal growth is a one-size-fits-all process Reframing expectations: - · Personal growth is a lifelong journey with ups and downs, setbacks and progress – · Personal growth involves a range of emotions, including discomfort and pain, that can lead to greater self-awareness and resilience – · Personal growth involves connecting with others, seeking support, and learning from different perspectives – · Personal growth is a unique process that looks different for everyone, and involves finding what works best for you and your individual needs PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is autistic helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28490801
215 Neurodivergence & Autsim: Navigating Challenges in Relationships Neurodivergence & Autism: Navigating Challenges in Relationships We explore the challenges of maintaining friendships for people who are neurodivergent (AuDHD, autistic, HSP etc.) We emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence, empathy, active listening, open communication, patience, setting boundaries, and forgiveness in building and maintaining meaningful relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS · An autism diagnosis means that sometimes one may have challenges in maintaining friendships – · Some people may struggle with making friends, while others may struggle with maintaining relationships (or people may struggle with both). · Experiencing feelings of hurt, disappointment, and exclusion in relationships is not uncommon – · It can be painful to navigate situations where you feel left out or excluded · Having a strong sense of justice and fairness, can make it harder to deal with exclusion in groups or relationships– · Despite these challenges, it is possible to navigate friendships with emotional intelligence and empathy. Navigating the challenges of friendship in daily life can be difficult, but there are ways to approach it with emotional intelligence and empathy. Here are some tips: - · Practice active listening: Listen to your friends and try to understand their perspective. This can help you build stronger relationships and avoid misunderstandings. · Communicate openly and honestly: Be honest with your friends about your feelings and needs. This can help you avoid conflicts and build trust. · Show empathy: Try to understand your friends' emotions and be supportive. This can help you build deeper connections and show that you care. · Be patient: Friendships take time and effort to maintain. · Be patient and understanding when your friends are going through difficult times. · Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries in friendships to protect your emotional well-being. Communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully. · Practice forgiveness: No one is perfect, and conflicts can arise in friendships. · Practice forgiveness and try to move past conflicts with empathy and understanding. · Most important: Be sure that your relationships are reciprocal, and that the other person is also utilizing these skills. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (autistic and ADHD) with a PDA profile, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28425407
214 AFAB Autism Assessment: PDA, and other Common Questions Answered AFAB Autism Assessment: PDA, and other Common Questions Answered Dr. Jessica Myszak, who provides autism assessments for late-diagnosed, high masking women answers the following questions: What is PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Persistent/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)? What does PDA look like? What is important to ask if someone wants to pursue a formal autism diagnosis? What are common comorbidities (as well as misdiagnoses) if one is autistic? Is it possible to manipulate or cheat an autism assessment or fool the assessor? What happens after one is diagnosed as autistic? GUEST Dr. Jessica Myszak, Licensed Psychologist HIGHLIGHTS What is PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy? PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, a subtype of autism that involves significant anxiety and demand avoidance. Many people with PDA prefer to call it Persistent or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. PDA is a newly identified subtype of autism that can result in meltdowns or explicit behavior or just avoidance of everyday tasks. People with PDA often have a desire to have control in order to preserve their autonomy. PDA can be challenging to diagnose, and many people with PDA struggle to get a diagnosis. Strategies for managing PDA symptoms include recognizing triggers, reducing demands, and providing choices. People with PDA often work best in jobs where they have minimal oversight or control over their work. PDA is not a personal choice or behavior but rather a way that the brain works. It’s a nervous system disorder/disability. Understanding PDA can help people with the condition and their loved ones cope with the challenges it presents. PDA is a complex condition that requires individualized treatment and support. What does PDA looks like? Everyday tasks can often result in meltdowns or explicit behavior or just avoidance of these types of demands in a variety of ways. PDA can be misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder because people don't know what autism looks like. PDA is often characterized by a need for things to be in a certain order for a sense of stability. Children with PDA may have meltdowns, and PDA is often misdiagnosed as oppositional defiant disorder. Adults with PDA may struggle with social interactions, have difficulty with authority figures, and may have trouble with employment. PDA can present differently in different people, and there is no one-size-fits-all description of what it looks like. People with PDA may have a unique set of triggers and coping mechanisms that are specific to their individual experience. Understanding what PDA looks like can help people with the condition and their loved ones cope with the challenges it presents. Having another human to co-regulate with, can be instrumental for someone who is PDA. What is important to ask if someone wants to pursue a formal autism diagnosis? It's important to find a qualified professional who has experience diagnosing autism in high masking, late diagnosed adults. Ask how many AFAB (if relevant) the person has assessed. How do they assess for high masking and internalizing behaviors. Ask about the diagnostic process and what it entails, including any assessments or evaluations that will be used. Ask about the criteria for an autism diagnosis and what the professional will be looking for during the assessment. Inquire about the professional's experience working with adults or children with autism, depending on the age of the person seeking a diagnosis. Ask about the cost of the assessment and whether insurance will cover it. Inquire about any additional support or resources that the professional can provide after the diagnosis, such as referrals to therapists or support groups. Ask about the timeline for the assessment and when the results will be available. Inquire about any additional information or documentation that may be needed for the assessment, such as medical records or school reports. Ask about any potential barriers to getting a diagnosis, such as the need for a parent interview or other assessments that may be required. Inquire about the professional's approach to diagnosing autism and whether they take a person-centered approach that considers the individual's unique experiences and needs. Is it possible to manipulate the results of the autism assessments or fool the assessor? Dr. Myzak acknowledges that people with autism are often very good at masking their symptoms and may be able to manipulate an assessment to some extent. - However, she notes that many assessments have embedded validity measures that can help detect when someone is being overly negative or positive in their responses. Dr. Myzak emphasizes the importance of being authentic and honest during the assessment process, as this is the best way to get an accurate diagnosis and receive appropriate support. She also suggests that people who are concerned about being able to remember early signs of autism can do their own detective work by asking family members or friends for information. Dr. Myzak believes that it is important to trust her clients and take a person-centered approach to diagnosis, rather than relying solely on standardized assessments. Common comorbidities if one is autistic: Anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), are common comorbidities of autism. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is also frequently seen in individuals with autism. Depression and other mood disorders are more prevalent in people with autism than in the general population. Sensory processing disorder (SPD) is a common comorbidity of autism, as many people with autism have difficulty processing sensory information. Sleep disorders, such as insomnia and sleep apnea, are more common in individuals with autism than in the general population. Gastrointestinal (GI) problems, such as constipation, diarrhea, and gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), are more common in people with autism. Epilepsy and other seizure disorders are more prevalent in individuals with autism than in the general population. Tourette syndrome and other tic disorders are more common in people with autism. Intellectual disability is a common comorbidity of autism, although not all individuals with autism have intellectual disability. Other conditions that may co-occur with autism include allergies, asthma, and autoimmune disorders. What happens after an autism diagnosis? After an autism diagnosis, individuals and their families may work with healthcare providers to develop a treatment plan that addresses their specific needs and challenges. Treatment for autism may include a combination of therapies, such as behavioral therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and social skills training. Medications may also be prescribed to help manage symptoms of autism, such as anxiety, depression, or hyperactivity. Individuals with autism may also benefit from support groups, educational programs, and other resources that can help them and their families better understand the condition and navigate daily life. It is important for individuals with autism to receive ongoing support and care, as their needs may change over time and new challenges may arise. Some individuals with autism may also be eligible for special education services or accommodations in school or the workplace. Families may also need to navigate insurance coverage and other financial considerations related to autism treatment and support. Ultimately, the goal of post-diagnosis care is to help individuals with autism lead fulfilling and meaningful lives, with the support and resources they need to thrive. GUEST BIO Dr. Jessica Myszak is a Chicago-area psychologist who specializes in autism assessment for both children and adults. Doing both in-person and telehealth evaluations in many states across the US, she has developed a niche in less-typical presentations of autism--autism in women, high-masking adults, and pathological demand avoidance (PDA). She also provides educational content on Tiktok about these topics. She is also the founder of the Autistic Support Network, a free private online community for members to share information and connect with other autistic adults. LINKS Dr. Myszak’s Links Website—https://helpandhealingcenter.com/ LInkedin— Tik Tok-- Facebook— Autistic Support Network-- Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28356998
213 Autism, Relationships & PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy Autism, Relationships & PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy The challenges people have maintaining relationships can be related to relational trauma, PDA, the desire for consistency and/or adherence to high or unrealistic expectations. PDA is a profile of autism, and people with PDA may have no problem making friends, but they may have difficulty keeping them. Can someone who is autistic become more flexible and lower their expectations if they want to? What elements are needed in relationships to accommodate for neurodivergence? CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS · The challenges faced in maintaining consistency and connection in friendship. · Autism and neurodiversity, and the importance of being aware of different types of neurodiversity. · The importance of consistency and pattern in the lives of neurodivergent people, and how it can relate to your emotional state. · The evolving nature of human experience and how things get put in and taken out of official stances. · TikToks that poke fun at the DSM and how it's revised. · The experience with ADHD and HSP, and how it relates to your emotional state. The importance of being aware of the current thought on certain topics, such as autism. · The challenges of being well-educated enough about certain topics, such as autism. · The importance of being intimate with different types of neurodiversity. · The importance of being fascinated by how we collectively as a culture and field talk about things. · The challenge of sharing your process without disenfranchising anyone or alienating anyone especially when talking about sensitive topics. · The challenges of studying and understanding neurodivergent experiences. · The importance of being aware of different types of neurodiversity, such as autism and HSP. · The importance of including autistic listeners in the conversation. · The importance of being aware of the imperfection of the process of studying and understanding neurodivergent experiences. · The importance of being aware of the evolving nature of human experience and how things are constantly changing. · How their autism shows up in their life. · The importance of being fascinated by how we collectively as a culture and field talk about things, while being aware of the challenges of studying and understanding neurodivergent experiences. Personal insights about autism · Historically, they (Patricia) could be very self-centered and talk about her interests incessantly without realizing that not everyone is as fascinated by those things. · Patricia can have high and unrealistic expectations of how people should behave and how the world should be, which can lead to disappointment. · Patricia learned that she can change her rigid patterns of thinking and behavior with the help of a support system and feedback. Insights about how consistency and patterns show up in relationships · Relationships have an ebb and flow to them, with periods of high contact and periods of low contact. · The amount of contact in a relationship can be influenced by external factors, such as custody schedules or work demands. · Consistency and patterns in relationships can be important for some people, but not for others. · It's important to communicate with your partner about your needs and expectations for consistency and patterns in the relationship. · Consistency and patterns in relationships can change over time, and it's important to be flexible and adaptable. · It's important to have a support system outside of the relationship to help manage expectations and provide perspective. Information about PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive/Persistent Drive for Autonomy · PDA is a clinical term that stands for pathological demand avoidance. · The term "pathological" is not liked by some people, as it implies that there is something wrong with the person. · PDA is characterized by a pervasive drive for autonomy, which means that the person needs to feel that they have a sense of efficacy over their life. · Demands can be either external or internal, and can cause stress and anxiety for people with PDA. · PDA can come up around internal demands, such as taking a shower or getting work done. · People with PDA may have a different experience of it depending on whether they are an internalizer or externalizer. · PDA is a profile of autism. · The clinical term for PDA is not liked by some people, as it implies that there is something wrong with the person. · People with PDA may have experienced relational trauma, which can make it difficult for them to feel safe and secure in relationships. · People with PDA may have difficulty with demands and expectations, and may need to have a sense of control over their environment to feel safe. · PDA is a complex condition that requires a nuanced understanding of the individual's experience. · People with PDA may benefit from support and understanding from others, as well as strategies for managing demands and expectations. · PDA is just one aspect of the neurodiversity spectrum, and it is important to be aware of the different types of neurodiversity and how they can affect people's lives. · People with PDA may have unique strengths and abilities, and it is important to recognize and celebrate these strengths. · PDA is a complex condition that requires a nuanced understanding of the individual's experience, and it is important to be aware of the challenges and opportunities that come with it. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD (ADHD and autistic) helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you CO-HOST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. LINKS Jen’s Links Email: Jen’s website: Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28288055
212 AFAB Autism Assessment: Common Questions Answered AFAB Autism Assessment: Common Questions Answered Dr. Jessica Myszak, who provides autism assessments for late-diagnosed, high masking women answers the following questions: How does autism present differently in women? Is self-diagnosis valid? Why haven’t the lived experiences of women been included in the diagnostic criteria? What might social differences, repetitive and stimming behaviors look like in someone who is AFAB? We explore thoughts about HSP vs. autism? What is Pathological Demand Avoidance PDA (also known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)? GUEST Dr. Jessica Myszak, Licensed Psychologist HIGHLIGHTS Questions asked in this episode · Why are so many assigned female at birth AFAB being diagnosed with autism? · Is it a fad? People say you watch Tik Tok and think you’re autistic · Is self-diagnosis valid? · Why haven’t women and their experience and presentation of autism been included in the DSM criteria? · How does autism present differently for women? · Why is there a gap between the written criteria for autism and the lived experience for those who are AFAB? · If someone is an internalizer, what might stimming and repetitive behaviors look like? · What are your thoughts about HSP vs. autisim? · Do you think that HSP is a subtype of autism, or is there a profile of autism where deep feeling, deep thinking and empathy are present? · What is Pathological Demand Avoidance PDA, also knows as Persistent/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy? Common misconceptions about autism in females The assumption that autistic females are not interested in socializing, when in fact they may be on the fringes of social groups but never feel like they truly belong. – The assumption that autistics do not have feelings, nor do they have empathy is grossly false. Many autistics feel so much, that it is overwhelming The assumption that autistics don’t or can’t make eye-contact. The assumption that autistics will stim in apparent ways like rocking, hand-flapping etc. vs. thinking/processing, hair twirling, sucking cheeks in, using thumb to gently stroke hand, rubbing feet together, counting things. The assumption that autism only affects males, and as a result, assessment tools and education are often skewed towards recognizing autism in males. – Many psychologists and neurologists still rely on outdated information about autism that was learned many years ago in graduate school, which can lead to misdiagnosis or missed diagnosis in females. – There is a gap between healthcare professionals who are following updated information about autism in females and those who are not. Some characteristics of autistic females Autistic females may be on the fringes of social groups but never feel like they truly belong. – Autistic females may have a strong desire to socialize and make friends, but may struggle with social cues and maintaining friendships. – Autistic females may have a tendency to mask their symptoms in social situations, which can lead to exhaustion and burnout. – Autistic females may have a strong interest in certain topics or activities, but these interests may be more socially acceptable than stereotypical "male" interests like trains or vacuum cleaners. –Interests may include relationships, personal growth, hobbies and crafts, medical information, being an avid reader, parenting, etc. Autistic females may be more likely to experience anxiety or depression than their neurotypical peers. – Autistic females may be more likely to receive a misdiagnosis or missed diagnosis due to the fact that assessment tools and education are often skewed towards recognizing autism in males. Examples of repetitive or stimming behavior in women · Deep thinking and processing. – · Using weighted blankets or heavy blankets for comfort. – · Hair twirling, pursing lips, having tongue against the roof of the mouth, sucking on the inside of cheeks. · Rubbing fingers or toes together, using fidget toys, doing cricket feet (rubbing feet together). – · Doing a figure eight or pattern with fingers or thumbs on clothes. – · Watching shows on repeat, listening to music on repeat, rereading books. · It's worth noting that these are just a few examples, and that repetitive or stimming behavior can take many different forms and vary widely between individuals. Ways healthcare professionals can better recognize and diagnose autism in females: - · Healthcare professionals should be aware that autism looks different in autistic females than it does in males, and should not rely solely on assessment tools and education that are skewed towards recognizing autism in males. – · Healthcare professionals should be aware of the common misconceptions about autism in autistic females, such as the assumption that they are not interested in socializing or that autism only affects males. – · Healthcare professionals should be aware that autistic females may mask their symptoms in social situations, which can make it more difficult to recognize their autism. – · Healthcare professionals should ask questions about the individual's social experiences and interests, and should not assume that their interests are stereotypical "male" interests. · Healthcare professionals should be aware that autistic females may be more likely to experience anxiety or depression than their neurotypical peers, and should take this into account when making a diagnosis. – · Healthcare professionals should stay up-to-date on the latest research about autism in autistic females, and should seek out training and education on how to recognize and diagnose autism in this population. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is autistic helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with clients, therapists, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you GUEST BIO Dr. Jessica Myszak is a Chicago-area psychologist who specializes in autism assessment for both children and adults. Doing both in-person and telehealth evaluations in many states across the US, she has developed a niche in less-typical presentations of autism--autism in women, high-masking adults, and pathological demand avoidance (PDA). She also provides educational content on Tiktok about these topics. She is also the founder of the Autistic Support Network, a free private online community for members to share information and connect with other autistic adults. LINKS Dr. Myszak’s Links Website—https://helpandhealingcenter.com/ LInkedin— Tik Tok-- Facebook— Autistic Support Network-- Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok-- e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28223492
211 Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Honoring Neurodivergent Needs and Communication Styles Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Honoring Neurodivergent Needs and Communication Styles How do you center yourself in relationships when you’re being told you’re difficult to be around, or people stop communicating with you? How do you navigate ambiguous communication? I go on a rant because I was feeling frustrated. I talk about neurodivergence and my experience being autistic. I also explore the following: Is self-diagnosis for autism valid? What are misconceptions about autism? What is hurtful to say to someone who is autistic? HIGHLIGHTS Common misconceptions about autism Autism is often portrayed as a "male" condition, with diagnostic criteria based on white boys who externalize. – Girls and women with autism may not fit the stereotypical image of someone with the condition, as they may be socialized to be polite and take care of others' needs and feelings. – There is a misconception that self-diagnosis is not valid or reliable, but it is. For those who self-diagnose, it can be very empowering. Some people believe that autism is a "disease" or something that needs to be "cured," I believe I AM autistic. It’s how I’m wired. I don’t have autism—there’s nothing wrong with me.– There is a stereotype that all autistic individuals lack empathy or emotional intelligence, but this is not true and is a harmful stereotype. – Many people assume that autistic individuals are not interested in socializing or making friends, but this is not always the case and is another harmful stereotype. What are harmful hurtful things one can say to someone who discloses they’re autistic "You don't look autistic," or “You don’t act autistic.” This statement invalidates the person's experiences and reinforces stereotypes about how autism should appear. It also indicates that the person really has no idea what autism looks like. "Just try harder to fit in." This disregards the challenges that autistic individuals face in social situations and implies that they are not making enough effort. "You're overreacting." Dismissing or minimizing the person's sensory sensitivities or emotional responses can be invalidating and hurtful. "You're being too sensitive." This statement undermines the person's experiences and feelings, disregarding their unique sensory experiences and emotional responses. "You should act more normal." Pressuring someone to conform to neurotypical standards disregards their authentic self and can lead to masking or suppressing their true identity. "You're not trying hard enough to communicate." This places blame on the autistic individual for communication difficulties, disregarding the fact that communication styles may differ for autistic individuals. Allistics (non autistics) set the “norms” for communication, which is also invalidating for how autistic brains are wired. "You're just seeking attention." Accusing someone of seeking attention can be dismissive and hurtful. Invalidating the challenges autistics experience and blaming the autistic is ableist. "You're not capable of doing that." Underestimating someone's abilities based on their autism can be demeaning and limit their opportunities for growth and success. "You need to be fixed." Implying that autism is a flaw or something that needs to be cured can be deeply hurtful and perpetuates harmful ableist attitudes. "You're not normal." Labeling someone as "abnormal" or "not normal" can be stigmatizing and contribute to feelings of isolation and low self-worth. It is important to approach conversations with empathy, respect, and understanding, focusing on acceptance and supporting the individual's unique needs and experiences. Neurodiversity Explained Neurodiversity is the concept that neurological differences are natural variations in human neurology, rather than disorders or deficits. – This perspective recognizes that every individual has unique strengths and challenges, and that these differences should be celebrated and accommodated rather than pathologized or stigmatized. – In the context of autism, the idea that autism is a "disease" or something that needs to be "cured." – It’s important to understand and honor how autistic individuals are wired, rather than trying to make them conform to neurotypical standards. – There is a lack of diversity in the diagnostic criteria for autism, which are often based on white boys who externalize. - This can lead to a narrow understanding of what autism looks like and can result in many autistic individuals, particularly girls and women, being overlooked or misdiagnosed. – The paradigm needs to be changed, so we are embracing neurodiversity and celebrating differences, finding one's own community of like-minded individuals, and rejecting the notion that there is a "normal" or "correct" way to be. – By understanding and respecting neurodiversity, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society that values and accommodates all individuals, regardless of their neurological differences. PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is autistic helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with clients, therapists, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS HSP Online Course-- Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- Sign up for the Newsletter-- To write a review in itunes: click on this link select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- Instagram-- Youtube-- Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson /episode/index/show/unapologeticallysensitive/id/28163201