254 Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships
Release Date: 07/30/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
The Radical Neurodivergent Act of Stopping Before You’re Exhausted Patricia (she/her) shares what it’s like when life is actuall calm. Without drama or big stories to tell, she reflects on learning to honor her energy limits. Patricia talks about pacing physical activity, noticing the urge to push past fatigue, and practicing self-compassion when her body needs rest. She also shares everyday moments—from kayaking at sunrise to navigating workouts and dog walks—while exploring what it means for autistic and neurodivergent people to find the “sweet spot” between doing enough and...
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Yes, I Twisted My Ankle. Yes, I Peed a Little Patricia Young (she/her) explores how change— even neutral change — can feel dysregulating, especially for autistic and neurodivergent people. From shifting family schedules and unexpected travel changes to navigating awkward neighbor dynamics and social gray areas, she shares real-life examples of practicing flexibility instead of binary thinking. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · Why neutral change can still feel deeply dysregulating · The nervous system impact of...
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Insurance Denials, Unexpected Connection Hacks and a Kitten with a Foot Fetish Patricia Young (she/her) shares a “mishmash” of real-time reflections on disappointment, expectations, nervous system shifts, and the everyday emotional intensity of being AuDHD. From insurance frustrations and PDA autonomy struggles to surprising connection hacks like a digital picture frame, Patricia explores what it means to be neurodivergent in a world full of unpredictability. This episode is a gentle reminder that big feelings are valid, connection can show up unexpectedly, and sensitivity is nothing to...
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Unbothered, Unmasked, and Still Showing Up: Why Neurodivergent People Do the Hard Things for Others Patricia Young (she/her) explores what it means to show up for others as an AuDHDer. She reflects on value-driven behavior, executive functioning challenges, internalized ableism, grief, rest, and the deep relief of living an “unbothered life.” Through personal stories about partnership, support, sensory overwhelm, initiation struggles, and authentic connection, this episode invites listeners to rethink productivity, compassion, and what real belonging looks like when we stop masking and...
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The Day My Nervous System Chose Violence (Internally) Patricia Young (she/her) explores what happens when big feelings meet medication changes, OCD spirals, and unmet needs. Through a vulnerable personal story about adjusting OCD medication, asking for support, and reacting more intensely than expected, Patricia reflects on autism, relational OCD, RSD, and trauma responses. She also discusses how to hold grief and joy at the same time, how to create meaning when life is profoundly unfair, and why it’s okay to share joy without making yourself smaller. This episode is a compassionate reminder...
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The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To In this New Year’s episode, Patricia Young (she/her) explores why the holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD nervous systems. Through personal stories about gift giving, overstimulation, masking, PDA, rejection sensitivity, and the need for sameness and predictability, she unpacks how small changes and social expectations can quietly dysregulate neurodivergent people. The episode also includes updates on her purple hair and tattoo, reflections on attunement and fairness, and a gentle...
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Bold Moves: Purple Hair, a Tattoo, and No Take-Backs Patricia (she/her) reflects on what it really means to make bold moves—and how we talk to ourselves when those decisions don’t land the way we hoped. Through the very real experiences of dyeing her hair purple for the first time and getting a tattoo she isn’t sure she likes, she explores autistic decision-making, sensory overwhelm, masking, regret, and self-compassion. This episode is about reframing regret as information, honoring neurodivergent needs in the moment, and learning how to be kinder to ourselves when we take risks and...
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Keeping it Real During the Holidays: p.s. I Love the Grinch! Patricia (she/her) dives into the emotional and sensory whirlwind of navigating change as an AuDHDer during the holiday season. She unpacks the exhaustion that comes from shifting family dynamics, unpredictable routines, kitten chaos, people coming and going, and the desire to show up with more capacity than she actually has. Patricia speaks candidly about shutdowns, resentment, communication misfires and boundary-setting. This episode invites listeners to honor their own wiring, acknowledge their limits, and give themselves...
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Boring Means Stable: Learning to Love Ordinary Days In this honest, meandering, and heart-centered solo episode, Patricia Young (she/her) opens up about feeling “not enough,” while navigating overwhelm, managing PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. From decluttering and kayaking to the quiet comfort of boring days and the challenges of social invitations, Patricia invites listeners into the gentle, nonlinear process of living authentically as an AuDHDer. With humor and tenderness, she explores aging, family connection, holidays, and what it means to find peace amid imperfection. WHAT...
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No Room for In-Between: Literal Thinking and Communication Ruptures In this raw and honest episode, Patricia (she/her) shares her ongoing challenges with neurodivergent miscommunication, community rupture, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood. From neighborhood conflicts to horse training lessons, from cancel culture to navigating friendships and travel as an autistic person, Patricia opens up about the messy, contradictory realities of life, belonging, and growth. Listeners will walk away feeling less alone in their struggles with relationships, self-advocacy, and embracing both...
info_outlineAnnoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships
Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
Patricia and Jen discuss their recent experiences with physical activity and the importance of setting realistic expectations. They explore the tendency to have all-or-nothing thinking and the need for flexibility and self-compassion. Patricia shares her recent experiences with medication and managing her OCD symptoms. In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss Patricia's experience with OCD and how it affects her relationships. They explore the challenges of managing dysregulation and the importance of communication and authenticity in navigating difficult emotions. They also touch on the impact of past traumas on current relationships and the need for self-compassion and setting boundaries. The conversation highlights the importance of accepting and expressing emotions and the value of being honest about one's limitations.
Takeaways
Setting realistic expectations and being flexible is important when trying new activities.
Naming and accepting emotions is crucial for self-awareness and healthy relationships.
Communication and managing expectations are key in maintaining strong friendships.
Medication can be helpful in managing symptoms, but self-awareness and self-compassion are also important. OCD can manifest in different ways, such as excessive worry and fear of harm to loved ones.
Managing dysregulation can be challenging, and reaching out for support is important.
Authenticity and open communication are key in navigating difficult emotions and maintaining healthy relationships.
It's important to recognize and address past traumas that may impact current relationships.
Setting boundaries and being honest about one's limitations is crucial for self-care and maintaining healthy relationships.
Sound Bites
· "I went kickboxing. Yes, it was so much fun."
· "Finding ways to really lower the bar to just get my body there."
· "Are there ways that you can create a little bit more flexibility and options so that your life works for you?"
· "I worry every morning that my husband, you know, is dead."
· "I felt very disconnected from you, like everything just felt meh."
· "I wonder if you remembered about recording and you didn't say anything about recording."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Kickboxing Experience
01:54 Setting Realistic Expectations and Lowering the Bar
04:15 Embracing Emotions and Practicing Self-Compassion
06:16 Communication and Expectations in Friendships
08:43 Managing Symptoms: Medication and Self-Awareness
20:43 Dysregulation and Feeling Disconnected
24:47 Navigating Uncertainty and Hurt Feelings
29:26 Being Present and Authentic in Relationships
33:18 Addressing Past Traumas and Setting Boundaries
40:13 The Importance of Honesty and Saying No
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Diane Poole-Heller: https://dianepooleheller.com/
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com