254 Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships
Release Date: 07/30/2024
Unapologetically Sensitive
No Room for In-Between: Literal Thinking and Communication Ruptures In this raw and honest episode, Patricia (she/her) shares her ongoing challenges with neurodivergent miscommunication, community rupture, and the emotional toll of being misunderstood. From neighborhood conflicts to horse training lessons, from cancel culture to navigating friendships and travel as an autistic person, Patricia opens up about the messy, contradictory realities of life, belonging, and growth. Listeners will walk away feeling less alone in their struggles with relationships, self-advocacy, and embracing both...
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The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS...
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Rupture without Repair, and the Discomfort of Being Misunderstood In this deeply personal episode, Patricia (she/her) unpacks the fallout from a neighborhood rupture and the painful loss of community connection. Through the lens of being autistic and AuDHD, she explores rejection sensitivity, communication breakdowns, friendship trauma, and why repair isn’t always possible. She also shares how co-regulation, body doubling, Costco runs, and fierce family love provide grounding. This conversation is raw, tender, and validating for anyone who has struggled with being misunderstood...
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When ADHD Wants Adventure and Autism Just Wants a Nap Patricia (she/her) explores what it means to show up authentically as a neurodivergent person—especially when navigating the tension between wanting novelty (hello ADHD/AuDHD brains!) and craving sameness (thank you autism). She shares candid stories about celebrating her anniversary, managing low energy, social interactions, and dealing with conflict. Patricia also opens up about balancing autistic traits, ADHD novelty-seeking, PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), and honoring her sensitivity. If you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or...
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When the Dogs Stop Saying Hi: The Human Need for Connection and Belonging Patricia (she/her) explores the complexities of community, being perceived, and the challenges of navigating relationships amidst misunderstandings and cancel culture. She shares personal experiences of rupture and repair within her community, reflecting on the emotional impact of feeling excluded and the importance of acknowledging one's behavior in relationships. Patricia also highlights the simultaneous beauty of connections and celebrations, even amidst challenges, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and...
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Disempowered to Empowered: Meltdowns, Boundaries & Donuts In this heartfelt episode, Patricia (she/her) shares three powerful personal stories that highlight the challenges—and wins—that come with being a sensitive, creative, neurodivergent human. From navigating family dynamics around living arrangements, to reclaiming power after a disempowering volunteer experience, and even exploring the emotional depth behind a simple craving for an apple fritter, Patricia offers an intimate and validating glimpse into what it's like to be an AuDHDer who feels things deeply—and still...
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Friendship, Boundaries, and Other Olympic Sports for Autistic Brains Patricia gets real about friendship challenges, navigating communication mismatches, and how OCD and autistic wiring can shape our relationship expectations. She shares a behind-the-scenes peek into her new podcast project, the insecurities that surfaced while collaborating with her co-host, and how unexpected moments of validation reminded her that what she brings to the table is more than enough. HIGHLIGHTS · Patricia plans to release the podcast bi-monthly to...
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Breaking Down Internalized Ableism Summary In this conversation, Patricia explores the concept of internalized ableism, particularly among neurodivergent individuals. She discusses how societal stigma and expectations can lead to negative self-perceptions and feelings of inadequacy. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on how internalized ableism manifests in various aspects of life, including relationships, self-acceptance, and the pressure to conform to neurotypical standards. She emphasizes the importance of unlearning these hurtful beliefs and embracing one's...
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Some Challenges in Neurodivergent Communication Summary In this episode, Patricia discusses the challenges faced by AuDHDers and other neurodivergent individuals in communication, particularly regarding lack of responding to messages. She explores the concept of internalized ableism and how it affects self-perception and interactions. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on the importance of flexibility in relationships and the need for authenticity in communication. The conversation emphasizes the struggles of neurodivergent individuals, including executive functioning...
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Coping and Prepatory Strategies for Overstimulating Situations Summary In this episode, Patricia discusses her experiences with content creation, coping strategies for overstimulation, and managing sensory sensitivities during significant life events like weddings. She shares insights on emotional preparation, adjusting to changes in family dynamics, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to prevent burnout. Throughout the conversation, she emphasizes the importance of self-care, embracing imperfection, and recognizing the rights of individuals to rest and be themselves....
info_outlineAnnoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships
Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships.
CO-HOST
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
HIGHLIGHTS
Summary
Patricia and Jen discuss their recent experiences with physical activity and the importance of setting realistic expectations. They explore the tendency to have all-or-nothing thinking and the need for flexibility and self-compassion. Patricia shares her recent experiences with medication and managing her OCD symptoms. In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss Patricia's experience with OCD and how it affects her relationships. They explore the challenges of managing dysregulation and the importance of communication and authenticity in navigating difficult emotions. They also touch on the impact of past traumas on current relationships and the need for self-compassion and setting boundaries. The conversation highlights the importance of accepting and expressing emotions and the value of being honest about one's limitations.
Takeaways
Setting realistic expectations and being flexible is important when trying new activities.
Naming and accepting emotions is crucial for self-awareness and healthy relationships.
Communication and managing expectations are key in maintaining strong friendships.
Medication can be helpful in managing symptoms, but self-awareness and self-compassion are also important. OCD can manifest in different ways, such as excessive worry and fear of harm to loved ones.
Managing dysregulation can be challenging, and reaching out for support is important.
Authenticity and open communication are key in navigating difficult emotions and maintaining healthy relationships.
It's important to recognize and address past traumas that may impact current relationships.
Setting boundaries and being honest about one's limitations is crucial for self-care and maintaining healthy relationships.
Sound Bites
· "I went kickboxing. Yes, it was so much fun."
· "Finding ways to really lower the bar to just get my body there."
· "Are there ways that you can create a little bit more flexibility and options so that your life works for you?"
· "I worry every morning that my husband, you know, is dead."
· "I felt very disconnected from you, like everything just felt meh."
· "I wonder if you remembered about recording and you didn't say anything about recording."
Chapters (please adjust for the addition of the introduction)
00:00 Introduction and Kickboxing Experience
01:54 Setting Realistic Expectations and Lowering the Bar
04:15 Embracing Emotions and Practicing Self-Compassion
06:16 Communication and Expectations in Friendships
08:43 Managing Symptoms: Medication and Self-Awareness
20:43 Dysregulation and Feeling Disconnected
24:47 Navigating Uncertainty and Hurt Feelings
29:26 Being Present and Authentic in Relationships
33:18 Addressing Past Traumas and Setting Boundaries
40:13 The Importance of Honesty and Saying No
PODCAST HOST
Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you
CO-HOST BIO
Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering.
LINKS
Diane Poole-Heller: https://dianepooleheller.com/
Jen’s Links
Email: Jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com
Jen’s website: https://heartfulnessconsulting.com/
Patricia’s Links
Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/
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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com