273 The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To

The Holidays: A Group Project My Nervous System Didn’t Agree To

In this New Year’s episode, Patricia Young (she/her) explores why the holiday season can be especially challenging for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD nervous systems. Through personal stories about gift giving, overstimulation, masking, PDA, rejection sensitivity, and the need for sameness and predictability, she unpacks how small changes and social expectations can quietly dysregulate neurodivergent people. The episode also includes updates on her purple hair and tattoo, reflections on attunement and fairness, and a gentle alternative to New Year’s resolutions—offering practical categories for reflection that center self-compassion, regulation, and realistic support.

WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

· Why holidays are uniquely overstimulating for neurodivergent nervous systems

· How transitions, visitors, and disrupted routines impact regulation

· The role of predictability, sameness, and visual memory in autistic well-being

· Why gift giving can activate PDA, executive dysfunction, and shame

· How attunement in gift giving can feel deeply regulating—and deeply stressful

· The pressure to perform gratitude and enthusiasm while masking discomfort

· Why opening gifts in front of others can be overwhelming for autistic adults

· How fairness, justice sensitivity, and reciprocity complicate holiday dynamics

· The emotional labor involved in “doing it right” socially

· How body doubling supports assertiveness and nervous system regulation

· Why small environmental changes can create disproportionate stress

· The difference between order as regulation versus control

· How animals, sensory joy, and flexibility can increase tolerance for chaos

· Reflections on regret, learning, and doing things differently over time

· Why curiosity and problem-solving are often misunderstood in autistic communication

· How rejection sensitivity and object permanence affect relationships

· A compassionate alternative to New Year’s resolutions

· Reflective life categories including health, finances, relationships, self-care, creativity, home, and novelty

· Why survival mode is sometimes the only valid goal

· A reminder that sensitivity is wiring—not a flaw

 

SOUND BITES

·       “Our nervous systems really do best with sameness, repetition, and predictability.”

·       “Masking is all about making other people feel comfortable—and that’s a lot of work.”

·       “Regret doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means you’re learning.”

·       “You have a right to be regulated, dysregulated, organized, disorganized, content, or discontent.”

SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT’S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED

You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren’t built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.

CHAPTERS (PLEASE ALLOW FOR ADDITION OF INTRO)

00:00 Navigating Holiday Challenges

10:06 The Complexity of Gift Giving

20:39 Reflections on Relationships and Expectations

29:26 Looking Ahead: New Year Reflections

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you

Patricia’s website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com 

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Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com