Ep 206: Why Fantasizing Your Way Through Dating is F*cking You Over
Release Date: 07/07/2025
Unf*ck Your Relationships
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, we’re building the blueprint for your most grounded, self-led, and successful year ever. Not because the calendar magically fixes your life - but because you decide to show up as the woman who no longer drags old chaos into her new chapter. 2026 is a blank slate. A reset. A clean energetic line in the sand. And the version of you who thrives next year is built from identity, habits, emotional maturity, and standards… not “new year, new me” delusion. I walk you through the exact ways to anchor into self-belief, detox 2025 without spiralling...
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In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re stepping into the most misunderstood and most misused part of feminine energy: the dark feminine. Not the TikTok version. Not the “manipulate him back” bullshit. The real dark feminine. The part of you that is bold, grounded, self-protective, deeply self-respecting, and absolutely unwilling to keep abandoning herself for crumbs. Most women are living 90% in their light feminine… the sweet, nurturing, soft version of themselves and then wonder why they feel drained, overlooked, over-giving, mothering grown men, and acting like...
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EP 227: How to Level Up So Fast It Feels Illegal In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, we’re diving into the identity level shifts required to level up so quickly it almost feels wrong. The truth? You’re not stuck because of timing, luck, or the men you date. You’re stuck because your nervous system is still wired for chaos, crumbs, and chasing and you keep choosing what’s familiar over what’s actually good for you. I break down the real reasons you keep looping in the same patterns and how to step into the version of you who doesn’t tolerate inconsistency, confusion, or...
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WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: Website:
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Okay, babe… let’s talk about people pleasing, because this episode is me calling myself (and you) all the way out. For years, I thought being the “chill, supportive, easygoing” partner made me good. But in reality? I was just betraying myself over and over. I wasn’t setting boundaries, I was building walls and then wondering why everything exploded when I finally snapped. I share the story of how I went from spending every damn Saturday house-hunting for someone else’s dream home (that I wasn’t even living in!) to realising I was overextending myself because I was scared to look...
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In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m calling BS on the fluffy, feel-good version of “self-love.” Because let’s be real… bubble baths and affirmations don’t fix years of self-abandonment. I get raw about my own story of being the “ultimate caretaker”, the one holding everything together, doing the emotional labor, and calling it love. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t love, it was survival. And it left me exhausted, resentful, and disconnected as hell. I break down what it really looks like to stop people-pleasing and start standing the f*ck up for yourself…even when it...
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In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I dive into the fearful avoidant attachment style sometimes called anxious avoidant and the blind spots that come with it. This was once my dominant attachment style, and even now I can see how it still pops up in relationships. Unlike anxious or dismissive avoidants, the fearful avoidant flips between hyper-activation (all emotion, seeking closeness, reassurance, and validation) and deactivation (withdrawal, coldness, the “ick,” detachment). This creates emotional whiplash for partners, leaving them unsure which version of you they’re going...
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In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down the blind spots of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. If you’ve ever felt confused about why you (or your partner) shut down, withdraw, or over-rely on logic in relationships, this episode will give you clarity and a new way forward. Here’s what I dive into: Logic vs. Love – Why relying on logic and analysis won’t create real intimacy. Where It Starts – How childhood environments that dismissed emotions shaped these defense patterns. The Hidden Cycle – How conflicts get rationalized away, leading to the same...
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In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dig into the blind spots of anxious attachment, the hidden patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles, even when you think you’ve “done the work.” I explain why reflection alone isn’t enough, because you can only reflect on what you’re consciously aware of. Blind spots live in the shadows the parts of yourself you deny, repress, or don’t even know exist. And until you shine light on those, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns in love, friendships, and even business. Here’s what I explore in this episode: Your strength as...
info_outlineSo…I did the thing.
I am officially back on the dating apps.
That’s right, my loves—I’m back in the dating trenches. All the things you’re going through? I’m going through them right along with you.
(I figured if I'm releasing a program about dating, it's only fair that I do it alongside you, right?)
But as long as I’m here, I’m going to talk about some of the reasons why you might not be having much success with dating. First and foremost, the fact that you’ll go on one date with a man and come home already planning the wedding.
It’s great to be excited when you meet someone new. But it’s TOO fucking easy to get swept straight into a full-blown fantasy about who this person is…when in reality, you have no idea who they actually are.
“But Michelle, we’re soulmates!” No, you’re STRANGERS. And you need to remember that before you dive too deep into something you don’t even want.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right
These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com