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118. The Secure Leader: How Attachment Shapes Trust, Leadership, and Purpose with Dr. Jaime Goff

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

Release Date: 01/14/2026

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info_outline 118. The Secure Leader: How Attachment Shapes Trust, Leadership, and Purpose with Dr. Jaime Goff show art 118. The Secure Leader: How Attachment Shapes Trust, Leadership, and Purpose with Dr. Jaime Goff

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In this episode of What’s the Point?, host Bill Ellis sits down with Dr. Jaime Goff, founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC and author of The Secure Leader, for a powerful conversation on how our earliest emotional experiences quietly shape the way we lead.

Drawing from her background in psychology, higher education leadership, and executive coaching, Dr. Goff explains how attachment patterns formed in childhood influence trust, control, communication, and emotional regulation in adulthood—especially in leadership roles. She shares personal stories from her own journey, including growing up in a restrictive emotional environment, navigating perfectionism and control early in her career, and learning how true leadership requires both empathy and accountability.

The conversation explores why secure leaders create psychologically safe environments, how repair—not perfection—is the foundation of strong relationships, and why self-awareness and emotional regulation are essential skills for modern leaders. Dr. Goff also reflects on career transitions, resilience through setbacks, and the courage it takes to build a life aligned with purpose rather than pressure.

This episode is an honest, grounded look at leadership from the inside out—and a reminder that lasting impact begins with secure connection.

What’s The Point? is a podcast hosted by Bill Ellis featuring real conversations with people who’ve figured out what matters – their purpose. Each episode explores what motivates them and how they find meaning in what they do.

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Quick Episode Summary: 

  • 00:00 – Welcome + Introducing Dr. Jaime Goff
  • 01:10 – Jaime’s path into psychology and leadership work
  • 03:10 – Why leadership starts long before adulthood
  • 05:20 – Early emotional environments and attachment patterns
  • 07:45 – How childhood patterns show up at work
  • 10:30 – Control, perfectionism, and leadership identity
  • 13:00 – What secure leadership actually looks like
  • 15:40 – Psychological safety and trust in teams
  • 18:10 – Repair vs. perfection in leadership relationships
  • 21:00 – Self-awareness as a leadership skill
  • 23:40 – Emotional regulation under pressure
  • 26:10 – Empathy without losing accountability
  • 29:00 – Career transitions and resilience
  • 31:30 – Authenticity, courage, and purpose at work
  • 34:10 – Lessons from executive coaching
  • 36:40 – What insecure leadership environments create
  • 39:00 – Building security in yourself first
  • 41:30 – How leaders can start changing patterns today
  • 44:00 – Defining success beyond performance
  • 46:10 – Dr. Goff answers: “What’s the point?”