Libsyn Directory

119. From Survival to Self-Respect: Jason Van Ruler on Healing Old Patterns

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

Release Date: 01/21/2026

120. Building Something That Holds: Loryn and Edo Nalic on Partnership, Perseverance, and Belonging from Balkan Treat Box

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s The Point?, I sit down with Loryn Nalic and Edo Nalic, partners in life and work and the force behind Balkan Treat Box, Telva, and the Ridge Room in St. Louis. Their story isn’t just about building award-winning restaurants. It’s about displacement, resilience, trust, and what happens when two people commit to solving problems together instead of letting adversity define them. Edo shares what it was like growing up in Bosnia during war, fleeing to Germany, living with uncertainty, and eventually coming to the United States alone. Loryn reflects on a very...

119. From Survival to Self-Respect: Jason Van Ruler on Healing Old Patterns

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point?, I sit down with Jason Van Ruler for an honest conversation about healing, responsibility, and the quiet work of becoming someone you can respect. Jason shares parts of his story that began in instability—growing up in a chaotic environment, learning early how to survive, and internalizing beliefs about worth that followed him into adulthood. Like many of us, he found himself repeating familiar patterns, even when they no longer served him. We talk about the turning point that came when Jason realized that awareness alone wasn’t enough. Wanting change...

118. The Secure Leader: How Attachment Shapes Trust, Leadership, and Purpose with Dr. Jaime Goff

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point?, host Bill Ellis sits down with Dr. Jaime Goff, founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC and author of The Secure Leader, for a powerful conversation on how our earliest emotional experiences quietly shape the way we lead. Drawing from her background in psychology, higher education leadership, and executive coaching, Dr. Goff explains how attachment patterns formed in childhood influence trust, control, communication, and emotional regulation in adulthood—especially in leadership roles. She shares personal stories from her own journey, including growing up...

117. From Experiments to Empowering Creatives: Kacper Staniul on Purpose, Curiosity, and Building What Matters

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point?, I talk with Kacper Staniul, founder and CEO of MyArchitectAI, about how purpose often reveals itself not through a single calling—but through curiosity, experimentation, and the discipline to keep building. Kacper’s journey began far from startups and artificial intelligence. As a university student in Poland studying materials science, he admits he had little sense of direction. What changed everything was exposure to the internet and the realization that learning wasn’t limited to formal education. That discovery sparked curiosity, and curiosity...

116. The Fight Within Us: Gavin Lance Topp on Purpose, Sobriety, and Becoming a Man

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point?, I sit down with Gavin Lance Topp, a former professional boxer whose life has been shaped as much by the battles outside the ring as the ones inside it. Gavin’s story is a powerful exploration of purpose, identity, and the fight within us all. Growing up in Australia and moving often as a child, Gavin found structure and validation in boxing. What began as an outlet for rage and energy became a disciplined pursuit that carried him from amateur fights to becoming the Australian Junior Middleweight Champion and eventually earning a world ranking. But as...

115. From Struggle to Sustainability: How Purpose Takes Shape with Vanessa Thompson

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point?, I’m joined by Vanessa Thompson, whose story is a clear reminder that purpose doesn’t usually arrive fully formed. More often, it takes shape slowly—through struggle, uncertainty, and hard-earned clarity. Vanessa shares her journey through seasons of instability and questioning, moments where the path forward wasn’t obvious, and how those experiences ultimately reshaped how she thinks about work, success, and sustainability. We talk about how easy it is to chase outcomes without pausing to ask whether the life we’re building is actually...

114. Painting the World Our Children Will Inherit: Purpose, Art, and Community with Cbabi Bayoc

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point, I sit down with artist Cbabi Bayoc, a painter, muralist, illustrator, and author whose work is rooted in one powerful idea: painting the world he wants his children—and all of our children—to thrive in. Cbabi shares how his art has always been about people. Faces. Emotion. Community. From his early days studying at Grambling State University to drawing caricatures at Six Flags, he learned to observe humanity closely, to listen, and to let people teach him through their reactions. What could have been discouraging moments became lessons in humility,...

113. Grit, Grace, and Becoming: How Tracy Spears Found Strength Through Truth, Belonging & Leadership

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

When you sit down with someone who has lived a big life, you can feel it instantly. That’s exactly what happened in today’s conversation with Tracy Spears—author, speaker, leadership coach, and co-founder of the Exceptional Leaders Lab. Her story is one of grit earned the hard way, grace discovered over time, and the lifelong work of becoming who we actually are. Tracy’s journey begins in a trailer park in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where early messages about work ethic, worthiness, and performing for belonging shaped her worldview. She openly shares how one sentence from her father in third...

112. Healing Our Relationship With Nature: Purpose, Restoration, and Hope with Tim Christophersen

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point, I sit down with Tim Christophersen, one of the world’s leading voices in nature restoration and conservation, to explore what really drives us as humans and how we find meaning in our relationship with the natural world. Tim’s journey is a powerful human story of growth, purpose, and responsibility — and it’s bigger than politics, bigger than hot-button climate debates, and deeper than soundbites. Tim shares how his love of nature began as a young boy walking through forests in Germany with his grandfather, quietly building the foundation for a...

111. Finding Meaning Through Resilience and Kindness with Noemi Beres

What's The Point? - Discover Your Purpose

In this episode of What’s the Point, I sit down with Noemi Beres, a woman whose life story is a powerful reflection of resilience, kindness, and purpose. From growing up in Hungary in a modest but deeply loving family, to becoming an entrepreneur, connector, and creative force, Noemi shares what keeps her going and how she discovered what truly matters. Noemi opens up about her childhood, shaped by hardworking parents and the strong values of Eastern Europe. She shares how her family’s history — stories of survival, perseverance, and hope — gave her the foundation to keep going, even...

More Episodes

In this episode of What’s the Point?, I sit down with Jason Van Ruler for an honest conversation about healing, responsibility, and the quiet work of becoming someone you can respect.

Jason shares parts of his story that began in instability—growing up in a chaotic environment, learning early how to survive, and internalizing beliefs about worth that followed him into adulthood. Like many of us, he found himself repeating familiar patterns, even when they no longer served him.

We talk about the turning point that came when Jason realized that awareness alone wasn’t enough. Wanting change didn’t automatically create it. That moment forced a deeper question: What does it actually take to become the person you want to be?

Jason reflects on the small but powerful steps that helped him rebuild—from learning to tolerate the person in the mirror, to counting small wins, to seeking the right kind of help. He explains the difference between avoiding pain and doing the work, and why true growth requires honesty, ownership, and support.

Our conversation also explores how healing shapes leadership, relationships, and purpose. Jason challenges the idea that success alone defines a meaningful life, arguing instead that who we become—and how we show up for others—matters far more than what we achieve.

This episode is a human story of growth. It’s about discovering what matters when old narratives fall apart, finding meaning through responsibility, and understanding that purpose isn’t something we stumble into—it’s something we build, one choice at a time.

What’s The Point? is a podcast hosted by Bill Ellis featuring real conversations with people who’ve figured out what matters – their purpose. Each episode explores what motivates them and how they find meaning in what they do.

Connect with Bill:

bill@billellis.com
www.billellis.com
www.brandingforresults.com
IG - @wcellis
Facebook - @CoachBillEllis
Facebook - @bill.ellis
LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/wcellis
Book: Women Who Won

Links for This Episode:

CONTACT INFO:

Name Jason VanRuler
Email jason@jasonvr.com
Website Jason VanRuler | Therapist, Coach, Speaker, and Author

SOCIAL MEDIA INFO:

Quick Episode Summary:

00:00 – Welcome + Introducing Jason Van Ruler
01:00 – Why Jason hopes people feel hope when they encounter his work
02:15 – Growing up in Sioux Falls and the impact of early instability
03:40 – How childhood chaos shapes identity and self-worth
05:00 – Finding refuge and safety in books
06:20 – Early exposure to personal development tapes and hope
07:40 – Leaving home at 18 and recreating familiar patterns
09:00 – Realizing adulthood requires personal responsibility
10:00 – The mirror moment at rock bottom
11:20 – Learning to like the person staring back
12:45 – Counting small victories and rebuilding confidence
14:00 – Leaving recruiting to pursue therapy
15:20 – Why wanting change isn’t enough
17:00 – Doing the work yourself before guiding others
18:30 – Therapy vs. coaching: looking back and moving forward
20:30 – Jason’s personal support system: therapist, coach, spiritual guide
22:10 – Taking ownership of your direction
24:00 – Why success doesn’t always equal happiness
26:00 – Redefining success and purpose
27:30 – Relationships as our true legacy
29:00 – Moving from self-loathing to self-acceptance
31:00 – Finding the right help and building trust
33:00 – What Jason wishes he’d known earlier in life
35:00 – Get Past Your Past and choosing credible guidance
37:00 – Understanding needs vs. wants in relationships
39:00 – Showing up differently as a husband and father
41:00 – Jason’s upcoming book on communication styles
43:00 – Daily habits and practices for stability
45:00 – What people are really searching for
46:30 – Rethinking purpose as broader than one role
47:30 – Jason answers: “What’s the point?”
48:45 – Closing reflections and gratitude

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