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When Your Child Has Addiction: A Mother's Guide to Setting Boundaries Without Losing Connection with Pam Lanhart - Episode 96

Why Intervention Podcast

Release Date: 05/07/2025

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Guest’s Info

Pam Lanhart is a mother of four, grandmother of eight, author of "Praying Our Loved One Home," and founder of Thrive Recovery Resources. After experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of loving a family member with substance use disorder and struggling to find trustworthy treatment centers and evidence-based resources, Pam turned her pain into purpose by founding Thrive in 2016.

 

Having grown up in a home where both parents struggled with alcohol use disorder, Pam brings a unique perspective as both a child affected by addiction and a parent who navigated her son's substance use journey. Thrive recognizes that families are critical components to recovery, providing support and proven strategies to empower real change that moves both the loved one and the family toward wellness.

 

Highlights

 

  • The boundary secret that actually STRENGTHENS your relationship with your addicted child (when everyone else is telling you to "detach with love")

  • The hidden childhood wounds driving your seemingly "rational" responses to your loved one's addiction (and why understanding this changes everything)

  • The gut-wrenching "make it stop" behaviors most parents don't even realize they're doing – that silently feed the addiction cycle instead of breaking it

  • The Irish wisdom that cuts through all the noise and finally explains what your loved one is REALLY seeking when they use 

  • The life-altering question that stopped Pam in her tracks: "You say you'd die for your kids, but will you LIVE for them?" (and why your answer matters more than you know)

  • The "last text" principle that will forever change how you communicate with your struggling loved one (Pam shares the final message she sent her son before losing him)

  • The doorway-opening phrases your loved one is already saying that you're missing – that could lead to real change if you knew how to respond

  • Why treating an addict with dignity – especially when they're actively using – might be the most powerful gift you haven't given (yet)

  • The compassion approach that replaces outdated "tough love" tactics (and actually works to rebuild what addiction has torn apart)

  • The uncomfortable truth about why some recover and others don't (and the only guarantee you CAN count on regardless of outcome)

 

Listen as Pam vulnerably shares how she navigated her son Jake's addiction journey – from his pills in a backpack at 13 to the grief of ultimately losing him too soon, yet finding meaning and purpose through it all. This conversation isn't just about addiction – it's about reclaiming your life while still fighting for theirs.

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