EP 254 - Give Before Asking: A Simple Shift That Transforms Leadership - Featuring Rick Williams

In Episode 254 of Paper Napkin Wisdom, Govindh Jayaraman sits down with Rick Williams — board director, leadership coach, and author of Create the Future: For Your Company and Yourself. A man of strategic clarity and quiet conviction, Rick shares a deceptively simple yet profoundly powerful message: "Give Before Asking." 

This phrase, written on a paper napkin, becomes the cornerstone of a conversation rich with wisdom about leadership, generosity, trust, and how real influence is built — not demanded. 

Rick’s career spans decades of advising leaders through business transitions, boardroom dynamics, and personal evolution. As a frequent contributor to publications like the Harvard Business Review and CEOWorld, and someone who’s helped countless CEOs navigate defining moments, Rick knows what separates good leaders from great ones. Spoiler: it’s not charisma or vision — it’s how you show up for others first. 

Leading with Contribution, Not Control 

In the episode, Rick explains the deeper meaning behind “Give Before Asking.” It’s not about martyrdom or passive generosity. It’s a conscious leadership strategy. 

“If we start with the idea of giving before asking,” Rick says, “we’ll have a much more successful and satisfying life — and better leadership outcomes too.” 

Rick emphasizes that influence and trust don’t come from position. They come from investing in others first — offering support, insight, or even just attention before expecting it in return. “Give” might mean listening deeply. It might mean sharing your network. It might mean extending empathy or credit. 

A Pattern in Effective Leaders 

This concept isn't just a personal belief. Rick has observed it across hundreds of boardrooms and coaching relationships. The most respected leaders — the ones others rally behind — almost always operate from this principle. 

“They contribute to the team and to the organization before they expect the team or organization to support them,” Rick shares. “It’s a shift in posture — away from ‘what can I get?’ and toward ‘what can I build here?’” 

And in that shift, everything changes: team cohesion, clarity of mission, even performance metrics. 

What Happens When You Don’t? 

Rick and Govindh also talk about what happens when leaders don’t lead this way — when leaders “ask” first: for loyalty, for effort, for results — without giving vision, trust, or recognition. 

The result? Disengagement. Resentment. Turnover. 

“You have to set the tone,” Rick explains. “People model behavior. If you show generosity, they give it back. If you only demand, you get compliance — not commitment.” 

This Isn’t Just for CEOs 

What makes Rick’s message especially resonant is its universality. You don’t have to be the CEO of a public company to apply “Give Before Asking.” It works just as well in families, communities, peer groups, or startups. 

Govindh reflects, “It reminds me that generosity is a form of strength — not weakness. When you give first, you're saying: I’m solid. I’m not afraid. I’m here to build something.” 

 

5 Key Takeaways from Episode 254 – Rick Williams 

1. Give Before Asking is a Leadership Operating System 

This napkin isn’t just a quote — it’s a strategy. Leaders who give first build trust faster, collaborate better, and achieve more with less friction. Take Action: Identify one way you can give to your team or peer today — insight, attention, clarity, or support — without expecting anything back. 

 

2. Your Posture Sets the Tone 

Whether you lead a team or a project, your approach ripples out. If you lead with service, your team reflects that. Take Action: In your next meeting, consciously lead by asking how you can help before assigning tasks or requesting updates. 

 

3. Generosity Builds Real Influence 

People follow those who invest in them. Giving before asking turns transactional relationships into transformational ones. Take Action: Share an opportunity or piece of feedback with no agenda. Watch what happens to the relationship. 

 

4. Don’t Mistake Demands for Leadership 

Expecting without giving creates resentment. Influence gained by force is short-lived. Take Action: Audit your recent leadership moves. Were you asking before giving? Where can you course correct? 

 

5. Simple Messages Stick — Especially When Lived 

Rick’s napkin wisdom endures because it’s easy to remember and hard to ignore when modeled. It becomes a leadership brand. Take Action: Write your own leadership principle on a napkin this week. Then, live it. 

 

Connect with Rick Williams 

Rick is the Managing Director of The Equity Company and author of the powerful book, Create the Future: For Your Company and Yourself. In it, he explores how leaders can navigate complexity with clarity and intention — and how to stop waiting for the future to arrive and start designing it. 

👉 Connect with Rick on LinkedIn 📘 Check out Create the Future on Amazon