Finding Joy Part 7: Engagement 022

Welcome to episode 22 of “Your Encore Life”.  In this episode we are continuing our series on finding joy. The main source I have been using for this series is the book “The Joy Model” by Jeff Spadafora.  In episode 17 we talked about what the joy model is, which is based on “Being” and “Doing” on horizontal and vertical axis’s. Beginning with episode 18 we began talking about what Spadafora has landed on as a process for integrating “being” and “doing” in a healthy way that that leads to lasting joy, which has 6 components that make up the acronym “MASTER”.  So far we have discusses Margin in episode 18, Abide in episode 19, Self-Awareness in episode 20, and Treasure in episode 21. I encourage you to go back and listen to the previous episodes in this series if you haven’t already, but they stand alone well so you don’t need to do that prior to listening to this episode. This week we will be talking about Engagement.

This step is all about getting in the game, or taking steps to get from where you are now to where you know you want to be, where God has called you to be.  I have talked about “analysis paralysis” and my struggles with that. In an article titled “Avoid Decisions, Avoid Life” by Jeff Stibel in the Harvard Business Review, he states “People get overwhelmed with choices, bombarded with information, and become afraid of the risk of drawing a line in the sand. Psychologists have a term for this — choice overload. In the presence of an abundance of information or too many choices, people often become overwhelmed and frozen. Those individuals inevitably revert to what is easiest, effectively making no decision at all. That can be dangerous in business and in life. One study showed that when presented with many products (jelly, in this case), most consumers tend to default to the easiest choice: buying nothing at all.  Isn’t this what happens to us when we aren’t sure what our “next thing” should look like.  What do we do next to be able to live our “encore life”?

We talked earlier about doing low cost probes, or trying things that you feel might resonate with you without investing too much money or time.  That is a very effective method of finding what really makes your heart sing without feeling overcommitted or stuck doing something that you realize doesn’t make your heart sing.  Go back and listen to episode 20 or look at the show notes for more information on low cost probes.

 

Stibel goes on to say in the article that “Another painful lesson in choice aversion is the fact that far too many people choose not to choose, by default allowing decisions to be made for them. They go through life trying to avoid risk, and that often means avoiding decisions. As a general rule, “losses loom larger than gains” and that is what causes people to regret bad decisions and reflexively avoid them altogether. Part of the fun in what we accomplish is learning, exploring, and trying new things. You just can’t do that without making decisions.”

Jeff Spadafora in “The Joy Model” states that he “can predict when you will take that first step to engage in the work that represents your life purpose.  It’ll happen when one of two things occur: (1) when you realize that the blessings you have are so clearly from God and your gratitude becomes so overflowing that you can’t help but pay it forward, or (2) when you truly-deep down in your bones-recognize the emptiness and folly of self centered living.”

So what might this look like for you as your are at or near retirement and want to live your best encore life? It could mean starting a business, working for an organization, or volunteering for a non-profit or charitable organization that aligns with a passion you have or a hobby you love.  It could be spending time and listening to people close to you that you haven’t given much of your gift of time to.  It could be supporting aging parents or helping care for grandchildren. We will talk more about this in a future episode. It could and should include hobbies, interests, and travel that the promise of more freedom of time will allow. Spadafora states that he has “seen people transform their love for hunting, snowboarding, quilting, and car racing into their callings. Think about the hobbies and activities that you enjoy and how you might use them to get people together that will provide the opportunity to bless other, perhaps give the opportunity to share God’s love.  Remember that God gave you strengths, talents, and your heart and passion for what breaks or makes your heart sing for a reason and purpose.

Let’s take a moment to circle back to review the Joy Model.  Remember it has “Being” on the horizontal axis and “Doing” on the vertical axis. The bottom left box following the Being axis is “The Frustrated Believer”, the bottom right box is “The Heartless Hypocrite”. Following the “Doing” axis begins again with “The Frustrated Believer in the bottom left box, with “The Weary Worker in the top left box.  If we are out of balance with being or doing we will fall into the heartless hypocrite or weary worker box.  A balance of being and doing leads us to the upper right quadrant called “The Joyful Follower”.  Now let’s talk about the difference between volunteering and calling as it related to the model. Spadafora puts volunteering in the lower left frustrated believer quadrant and calling in the upper right joyful follower quadrant. He goes on to explain that the two ways to serve others is to pitch in where and when needed, and the other is  through our callings, which he says is the “full stewardship of how God wired us”. Both are important for serving others and society, and good for our souls, but it is true that God has wired us with unique talents and strengths that He gave us for a purpose. With that in mind, Spadafora says that “in addition to selfless volunteerism, we should also be intentional about discerning and engaging in our calling.” He says “missing out on your true calling leads to missing out on the full joy God has available to you.”

The key is to be patient and try low cost probes that we talked about in the last couple episodes. If your first probe comes up short, consider it part of the learning process. Give yourself margin and abide and trust God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 New International Version (NIV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]

Romans 12:2 New International Version (NIV)  2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ephesians 2:10 New International Version (NIV)

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Action Item: Think about the one thing you have been wanting to do but have put it off by going through the “analysis paralysis” process?  Take one bold step that will get you closer to accomplishing this without further analysis, perhaps by doing a low cost probe.

Join us next week we complete this series by talking about the “R” in the acronym MASTER, which is Relationships.  I believe we are saving the most important for last, so don’t miss it.

Resources:

Half Time Institute: The Joy Model

Avoid Decisions, Avoid Life (Jeff Stibel) : Harvard Business Review

Bible Gateway

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