222: “I Want to Hear Your Story”

I’ve come to learn that relating with people through the lens of “I want to hear your story” is a great way to live. It enriches our lives in more ways than you can imagine.

I started thinking more deeply about this principle when Janet and I visited William Shakespeare's hometown of Stratford-on-Avon in England. Several years later, during a trip to Savannah, Georgia, I witnessed “I want to hear your story” play out in real-time. And more recently, I saw it demonstrated in a church service, where a 20-something law school student shared a story he experienced.

So that’s what I have for you today, three examples of what happens when people live with a mindset of “I want to hear your story.”

But before we get into all this, I’m John Certalic, and you are listening to episode 222 of You Were Made for This, the podcast about finding joy in being the person God created each of us to be. Namely, someone who reflects the character, image, and likeness of God in our relationships.  It’s the THIS, we were made for.

Visiting Shakespeare hometown

It seems like yesterday, but a number of years ago we were visiting friends who ran a missionary care center in England. They lived not far from William Shakespeare’s hometown of Stratford-on-Avon. So one day we drove over there, and among the things we saw was the Shakespeare museum. It was quite fascinating. Staffed by people wearing Elizabethan costumes, they were 

quite skilled in explaining all things Shakespeare-related.  At one point, a pair of docents asked the group we were with to call out a scene from one of Shakespeare’s plays, and they would reenact it for us. What great fun. We loved it.

But for me, the most interesting part of the museum was its entrance. Painted on the wall was a quote from one of Shakespeare’s plays, The Tempest. It took up the whole wall and read,

I long to hear the story of your life.

The wisdom of these words

The picture you see on our website for this episode is a photo I took with my phone. The wall dominated the museum entrance. You couldn’t escape it.

And I can’t escape thinking about it. Shakespeare wrote 38 plays and 154 sonnets that are known to us. Given the sheer volume of his work, it boggles my imagination to think of why this brief I long to hear the story of your life quote was selected for the only piece of his writing to appear on the wall leading into the museum.

How did the people in charge of the museum decide on this quote rather than many others from his more well-known plays?  Hamlet, King Lear, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet,  all have great quotes that could have been chosen.

But I think the museum directors made an excellent choice. I long to hear the story of your life is such an encouraging thought. It’s uplifting and inspiring. It’s also so counterintuitive. If you’re anything like me, 

I long to TEll you MY story.

Imagine if just 20% of the people you know longed to hear the story of your life? Just 2 out of 10. More importantly, what if I longed to hear the story of YOUR life?

One person who does long to hear the story of our life is God. He wants to hear from us. They call it prayer.

Our trip to Savannah story

The second example of living a I-want-to-hear-your-story life is from another trip we took. This one to Savannah, Georgia. It’s one of our favorite places to visit. We love the history and culture there. On one particular occasion, we arrived at the Airbnb we rented in the early evening, and after unpacking, we went looking for a place to eat.

We found a restaurant nearby that wasn’t very busy. We lucked out with a young, personable waitress, and after we finished placing our order with her, out of nowhere, Janet asked her, “So what’s your story?”

Janet is normally not that bold with strangers, but something prompted her to strike up a conversation with this young woman, which turned out to be quite interesting.  We found out she was a senior at SCAD - the Savannah College of Art and Design.

We learned that she is majoring in theater and plans to go to Hollywood when she graduates to look for a job in the film industry. I don’t understand how a theatre major at SCAD has anything to do with art and design, but I let that go because we were interested in her, not her college.  When people tell you their story you don’t have to make sense out of everything they say. 

What you get from asking someone, “What’s your story?”

So what did we get out of this conversation? There were a couple of things.  First off, it lifted us out of ourselves and the latent stress of travel. 

Secondly, her story introduced us to a world so removed from our own.

It was a conversation with someone from a different stage of life than ours, living in a city and part of the country, so different from our own. Her dreams and aspirations are so different from ours.  All these differences combined to expand our world for a brief time and set the stage for a delightful few days of our vacation. 

Another thing we got out of the conversation was an opportunity to bless someone by asking them to talk about themselves. Who does that these days? We’re all so busy talking about ourselves. But it’s one way to mirror the character and kindness of God.

Church is a good place to ask people about their story

I have one last example of the good things that can happen when we let someone know, “I want to hear your story.”

It happened one Sunday at the church we had been attending. As part of the morning service our small congregation discusses the sermon we just watched streamed to the screen of the hotel meeting room where we held our services. I always enjoyed these discussions and listening to people’s reactions and perspectives.

On this particular Sunday the sermon was about the Spirit of God working in our lives. During the discussion, someone in our group said that we don’t hear many concrete examples of this. And it would be helpful if we did. So a few people shared some examples of God’s spirit working in their lives.

The following Sunday, the discussion leader asked a 20-something member of our group to tell us the story he shared with him privately after last week’s discussion. So this young man, who is a law school student, began telling us his story.  One day, a classmate of his was frantic because, for some unknown reason, all his notes for the class they were both taking disappeared from his computer. An exam was coming up, and this fellow student was beside himself with worry. 

After processing his classmate’s predicament, our 20-something church member said to him, “Would you like a copy of my notes? I’d be happy to give them to you.”  The classmate gratefully accepted.

What’s most interesting about this story is what the 20-something law student from our church said to us next.

“My first reaction was not to help”

“My first reaction was NOT to help this guy.  Most people don’t realize how highly competitive law school is. Everyone is graded on a curve. You can score a 95 on the only exam of the course and still only earn a “B” for the class. So by helping him out I could potentially get a lower grade myself.

“But something inside of me told me offering him a copy of my notes was the right thing to do, even if I suffered adverse consequences.”

What followed was a lively discussion with everyone else in our group about how that “something inside” of our 20-something law student was the Spirit of God. It was such an uplifting and encouraging story. The law student repeated several times, “I really didn’t want to share my notes at first.”

But that is what made his story so encouraging because you know it was God who prompted him to act. And while this is an obvious part of the story, it’s less obvious that God was working in the life of the student who lost his notes in the first place. God was at work in his life, too, by coming to his aid through the 20-something guy from our church.

Seeing God at work in the lives of other people gives us hope that he can act in our lives as well. 

All this can come from drawing people out to share their story.

What about your story?

I’m pretty confident people are not coming up to you saying, “I want to hear your story.” We’re all just trying to make it through life, dealing with our own challenges, but missing opportunities to bless others by being curious about their lives.

But each of us can be the person who does the asking. We can bless others by reflecting the image and likeness of God when we ask people to tell us their story.  We were made for this.

Closing

As we close up shop for today, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to take a risk this week and say to someone, “So what’s your story?”

For when you do, it will help you experience the joy of being the person you were created to be.

Well, that’s it for today. I’d love to hear your thoughts or reactions to today’s episode. Just go to the show notes for today’s program at JohnCertalic.com, then scroll down to the end to the “Leave a comment” box.

Finally, remember to spread a little relational sunshine around the people you meet this week. Spark some joy for them.  And I’ll see you again next time. Goodbye for now.

Other episodes or resources related to today’s shows

165: Nosey People Weaken Relationships; Curious People Strengthen Them

152:  A Better Thing to Do to Help Others

021: The Most Important Relationship of All

Prior recent episode

221: An Act of Kindness Remembered Decades Later

All past and future episodes can be found at JohnCertalic.com