218: It’s Better to Listen Than to Talk

Today’s episode, #218, brings to a close  Season 8 of our You Were Made for This podcast. If you’ve been listening for any length of time, I hope you’ve come to appreciate the high value we place on the skill of listening as a way to enrich our lives. As we wrap up Season 8 today, I’m going to share a story that illustrates why it’s better to listen than to talk.

But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. 

 Welcome to You Were Made for This

If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you were made for.

I’m your host, John Certalic, award-winning author and relationship coach, here to help you find more joy in the relationships God designed for you.

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An example from the Bible of how it’s better to listen than to talk

Alright. Now, for today, I’m going to start by sharing with you an interesting example in the Bible of listening found in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 17, verses 1-8. It’s often referred to the transfiguration of Jesus. Here’s the story:

¹Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. ²As the men watched, Jesus’ appearance was transformed so that his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light. ³Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appeared and began talking with Jesus.

⁴Peter exclaimed, “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here! If you want, I’ll make three shelters as memorials[a]—one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

⁵ But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” ⁶The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground.

⁷Then Jesus came over and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” ⁸And when they looked up, Moses and Elijah were gone, and they saw only Jesus.

A few observations 

The passage is full of references to light. Jesus' face is shone like the sun…His clothes are “as white as light.”  God speaks from a “bright cloud.”

Another thing I noticed in this passage is what an unusual circumstance Peter, James, and John find themselves in. Not only does Jesus change his appearance, but we also have him in conversation with Moses and Elijah, two Old Testament figures who died centuries ago. There’s clearly a relationship between the three of them.

But the three apostles have no category or words to process what they are seeing. They’ve never seen anything like this before.

And then I noticed one word that jumps out, waving its arms to tell me it’s the keyword in the text, around which everything else orbits. Like all the planets revolving around the sun. It’s the word “listen” in verse 5.

In the original Greek language in which the New Testament is written, listen means “to hear, consider, learn from, to understand, comprehend.”

A contrast in reacting to Jesus

We see how this relational dynamic of listening is played out in how the three disciples react to this most unusual situation.

Peter was awestruck by what he saw at the top of the mountain that day.  And rather than sitting back and letting the event unfold, he starts talking. He was so uncomfortable with this transformation of Jesus, plus the return of Elijah and Moses from the dead. He had never seen anything like this. 

So Peter deals with his discomfort by proposing this laughable building plan that sounds so spiritual: Building three shelters or tabernacles, one each for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah.

Peter interjected himself into the conversation between Jesus, Elijah, and Moses. Do you think they were talking about the need for a shelter or tabernacle for each of them? I don’t think so. 

The truly awesome revelation of the majesty of God should have silenced Peter by taking his breath away. 

In contrast to Peter, we have James and John were also present, but they didn’t say a word. Everyone else was talking: Jesus, Moses, Elijah, and, of course, Peter. Have you ever been the silent one in the room where everyone else is talking?  I wonder what it was like for these quiet two.

We miss things when we talk rather than listen

The text says Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him up a mountain “to be alone.” Jesus’s appearance then changed: “His face showed like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light.” 

For what purpose? He becomes transformed with all this brightness. Why?  Then Moses and Elijah show up from the dead? How come? What does all this mean?

We don’t know the answer to any of these questions because Peter starts talking. Had he kept quiet, and just watched and listened, we might have learned more. But by talking, Peter changes the trajectory of the event by sharing what he’s thinking rather than waiting to hear what Jesus has to say.

Theologians have speculated for centuries what Jesus had in mind when he orchestrated this event. I wonder how this story would have turned out had Peter kept his mouth closed, like James and John, and let the story unfold without interjecting himself into it.

Notice also what Peter says, “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here!” He was making this spectacular event all about him, and not about Jesus and his agenda.

We often personalize events and make them about us when, in reality, they’re about what Jesus is doing to advance his kingdom.

Peter couldn’t wait to see things unfold. He couldn’t step into the larger story of Jesus, his transfiguration, and the conversation between Jesus, Moses, and Elijah. 

He made this event about the smaller story of his feelings of awkwardness and his way of coping with it through his building proposal. It’s understandable that Peter would feel ill at ease, for there’s no category for what he, James, and John witnessed. Yet James and John kept quiet. Peter could have, too.

What are we to learn from this story?

I want to come back to the original meaning of “listen” that I mentioned at the beginning.  In the original Greek, as I mentioned, listen means “to hear, consider, learn from, to understand, comprehend.”

What are we to consider, learn from, understand, or comprehend from this story?  

It reminds me of the fortune cookie photo you can see in the show notes and on our website.  It was sent to me by Kathy, a long-time friend and board member of our ministry. She happened to be in San Fransisco on a trip with her son.  Kathy is well-versed in our passion for promoting good listening and wrote the following about the photo:

We then went to a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco’s Chinatown, and after dinner, I opened my fortune cookie and practically gasped out loud when I saw this fortune!  It was much better than the typical "A pleasant surprise is waiting for you" fortune!  I knew right away I had to share it with you!

“There are lessons to be learned by listening to others”

“It’s better to listen” principles from the Transfiguration story

So what can we take away from this story to help us in our relationships?  Here are a few:

• It’s better to listen than talk when we don’t understand something
• Don’t let our own personal story, as important as it may be to us, get in the way of the larger story of God’s purposes. Keep our story small. God’s story large. 
• Look for how our story fits into God’s story, not the other way around.
• Since Jesus brings great joy to God, we do ourselves a big favor when we listen to Jesus. In doing so, we will bring joy to God, too.
• When we listen to Jesus, everything else falls into place. Our fears, our concerns, our hope for the future

Closing

As we wrap up season eight today, I’d love to hear any thoughts you have about today’s episode. I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to see how you can put into practice the better to listen principle.

For when you do, it will help you experience the joy of relationships God desires for you. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

And don’t forget, if you want to get on my email list so we can stay in touch going forward, you’ll need to sign up for it. Unless, of course, you’re already getting my weekly emails. Click here or go to johncertalic.com/email to get on my email list.

Well, that’s it for today. If there’s someone in your life you think might like to hear what you just heard, please forward this episode on to them. Scroll down to the bottom of the show notes and click on one of the options in the yellow “Share This” bar.

And don’t forget to spread a little relational sunshine around the people you meet this week. Spark some joy for them.  And I’ll see you again next time. Goodbye for now.

Other episodes or resources related to today’s shows

139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast?

021: The Most Important Relationship of All

Prior recent episode

217: God Will Surprise Us

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