The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!
info_outline
What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton
04/17/2026
What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Men’s Coach and Co-Founder of The Undaunted Man, Geoff Laughton. We explore what’s really happening for men right now when it comes to desire, identity, and connection, and why so many relationships can look fine on the outside while feeling disconnected underneath. Along the way, we spoke about how Geoff’s own journey through burnout, long-term partnership, and decades of working with individuals and couples shaped his perspective. Throughout the conversation, we explore how relationships move through different phases over time, how parenting and life stress impact intimacy, and why many couples find themselves disconnected after years of putting everything else first. We also get into what he calls the “masculine dilemma,” including how men navigate changing expectations, disconnection from purpose, and confusion about what it means to be a healthy man today. Geoff shares what he sees in his work with men around loneliness, people-pleasing, and lack of direction, and we talk about what actually helps—community, self-awareness, and reconnecting with both strength and emotional depth. If you’ve found your relationship shifting over time, or you’ve questioned desire, connection, or how to show up as a partner today, this conversation offers a clear way to understand what’s happening and how to move forward. Connect with Geoff Website: Instagram A free e-book called Solving The Masculine Dilemma Connect with Deborah Skool: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40905965
info_outline
Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit
04/10/2026
Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with intimacy and relationship coach Marga Bardinski. Together, we explore how relationships evolve over time, how identity shifts through major life transitions like marriage and parenthood, and what it really means to create intimacy on your own terms. Throughout the conversation, Marga shares her journey into motherhood and how it challenged her assumptions about identity, partnership, and autonomy. Along the way, Deborah reflects on her own experience of preparing for marriage after decades in partnership, unpacking the unexpected beliefs and conditioning that surfaced. Together, they examine how roles like “wife,” “partner,” and “mother” carry inherited meaning and how those meanings can be questioned, reshaped, or released. In this conversation, Marga speaks to the importance of slowing down, listening to the body, and developing the courage to express desire clearly. She also highlights the role of conscious choice, whether in relationships, parenting, or personal identity, and the power of creating frameworks that support connection, curiosity, and growth. Marga offers us a grounded approach using embodiment, communication, and the ongoing practice that is required to build intimacy that is honest and alive throughout a long-term relationship so that you can stay connected to yourself while building deeper, more authentic relationships. Connect with Marga Website: Instagram Newsletter: Connect with Deborah Skool: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40807630
info_outline
Why Receiving Pleasure Feels So Hard (And How to Change It) with Darshana Avila
03/18/2026
Why Receiving Pleasure Feels So Hard (And How to Change It) with Darshana Avila
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner, and speaker Darshana Avila. We explore why receiving pleasure can feel so hard—and what begins to shift when you learn how to come back into your body and your truth. Along the way, we spoke about how her early experiences in marriage, spirituality, and sexuality led her to question the disconnect so many of us feel. Through her journey into tantra, trauma work, and somatic practice, we explore how identity, conditioning, and lived experience shape our capacity to receive, not just give, in intimacy. We also get into how people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and a lack of felt safety in the body make it difficult to stay present with pleasure. Darshana shares what it actually takes to build that internal sense of safety, and we talk about how receiving is a skill you can learn—not something reserved for a lucky few. If you’ve ever found yourself over-giving, disconnecting during intimacy, or unsure how to let yourself fully receive, this conversation offers a grounded and practical way back—to your body, your pleasure, and your power. Connect with Darshana Website: Youtube: Connect with Deborah Skool: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40530870
info_outline
Sex After Menopause: Why Midlife Couples Struggle with Mark Platten
03/10/2026
Sex After Menopause: Why Midlife Couples Struggle with Mark Platten
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men’s work leader and founder of the Integral Man Institute Mark Platten. Mark shares how his decades of work guiding men through rites of passage—and his lived experience walking alongside his wife through menopause—led him to focus on the often-overlooked transition midlife couples face when bodies, identities, and sexual dynamics begin to shift. Throughout the conversation, Mark and I explore how menopause and andropause reshape intimacy in long-term relationships, why so many couples feel blindsided by these changes, and how unspoken expectations about sex can quietly erode connection. Along the way, we talk about the archetypal transitions men move through in midlife, the emotional impact of hormonal changes for both partners, and why so many couples find themselves struggling to navigate this phase without guidance. Mark shares insights from his work with men about upgrading the “tools” we bring into relationship as we age—moving from youthful patterns of fixing, performing, or proving ourselves into deeper connection, communication, and vulnerability. We also discuss how honest conversations about desire, aging bodies, and shifting needs can open the door to a richer and more intimate phase of relationship after menopause. This conversation offers a grounded and compassionate look at a stage of life that many couples experience but rarely talk about—and how facing it together can deepen intimacy rather than end it. Connect with Mark Website: Gift: 5 Conversations All Midlife Couples Need to have Connect with Deborah Skool: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40376510
info_outline
Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith
02/25/2026
Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith
Dr. Emma Smith about how trauma, shame, and cultural conditioning can distort intimacy — and what it actually takes to reclaim pleasure, desire, and connection in an embodied, sustainable way. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Emma shares her journey from trauma therapy into sex therapy, and explains why healing doesn’t end when symptoms disappear. Along the way, we explore how the nervous system prioritizes survival over pleasure, why many people lose touch with desire after trauma or chronic stress, and how cultural messages about “good” and “bad” sexuality create deep layers of shame that can disconnect us from our bodies and our relationships. Dr. Emma also offers powerful insights into what healing really looks like in practice: learning to recognize bodily signals of yes and no, cultivating curiosity instead of judgment, and rebuilding intimacy through small, accessible moments of pleasure. She explains how compassion toward ourselves opens the door to reclaiming desire, and how couples can shift from criticism and defensiveness into deeper connection by reconnecting with their own internal turn-on first. At its core, this conversation is a reminder that no matter where you’re starting from, possibility exists — and reclaiming pleasure is not about fixing what’s broken, but about returning to your humanity, your curiosity, and your capacity to experience aliveness. Better sex is a practice — and you can begin again anytime. Connect with Dr. Emma Smith Website: Instagram Facebook: Connect with Deborah Skool: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40223725
info_outline
What Keeps a 37-Year Relationship Alive with the Open-Nesters
02/20/2026
What Keeps a 37-Year Relationship Alive with the Open-Nesters
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Open Nesters co-hosts, speaker and consciousness facilitator Tessa and entrepreneur and DJ Amir. Together, they explore what it means to stay open — to each other, to pleasure, and to possibility — through decades of partnership, parenting, and evolving sexual expression. They share the story of their 37-year relationship, including how they kept their connection alive while raising three children, how their “open nest” mindset emerged, and how their journey into non-monogamy unfolded over time. Along the way, they reflect on the role of playfulness, intentional date time, communication, and honest conversations about desire, as well as the challenges and growth that come with redefining relationship agreements. Throughout the conversation, they offer a grounded perspective on long-term intimacy: that sexuality is fluid across the lifespan, that knowing your own pleasure is essential, and that thriving relationships require ongoing intention, curiosity, and a willingness to stay engaged even when things feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. This episode is an invitation to see long-term love not as something that fades, but as a living practice that can deepen, expand, and remain vibrant well into later chapters of life. Connect with The Open-Nesters Website: https://theopennesters.com Podcast: Email: Connect with Deborah Skool Community: Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/40171115
info_outline
Staying Connected When Things Get Messy with Bryan Reeves
01/08/2026
Staying Connected When Things Get Messy with Bryan Reeves
If intimacy feels harder than it should, this conversation offers a different way of looking at it. This episode is about staying connected through real emotions, real differences, and the very human messiness of long-term relationships. In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men’s and relationship coach Bryan Reeves. Bryan shares the winding path that led him here—from Air Force captain and corporate executive to relationship coach—after realizing in his late 30s that, despite being successful and well-intentioned, he had never actually learned how to create emotional safety or intimacy. That reckoning, and the heartbreak that came with it, shaped the work he now does with men and couples. From that lived experience, our conversation explores what helps relationships work in real life: why rigid masculine/feminine roles often fall apart in practice how emotional disconnection shows up for men, often without them realizing it a simple way of bringing awareness into the body instead of shutting down We talk about shared leadership in relationships, the difference between tolerating and appreciating one another, and why so many long-term conflicts aren’t meant to be resolved—but met with more presence, humor, and care. This episode is an invitation to let go of the idea that good relationships are neat or conflict-free, and to approach intimacy with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to stay on each other’s side—even when it’s uncomfortable. Connect with Bryan Reeves Website: Book: Connect with Deborah Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/39665025
info_outline
Unlock Your Sexual Confidence with Melissa Louise
12/18/2025
Unlock Your Sexual Confidence with Melissa Louise
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with pleasure advocate and sex educator Melissa Louise. We explore the connection between sexual confidence, creativity, and self-trust, and how owning your sexual energy can change the way you show up in your relationships and your life. Along the way, Melissa shares her personal journey of growing up in a conservative, patriarchal culture in South Australia and navigating cultural shame, sexual trauma, and rigid gender roles. Together, we unpack how both men and women are constrained by societal expectations, how mistrust between genders is reinforced, and what becomes possible when those narratives begin to loosen. Melissa also offers practical teachings and frameworks for expanding pleasure and confidence, including her grounded approach to helping men “masturbate well” as a foundation for sexual mastery and relational presence. This episode offers clear insights and actionable tools to help you reconnect with your desire and show up more fully in your sex life and relationships. Connect with Melissa Website: https://melissalouise.world Instagram: Substack: Man in control: Connect with Deborah Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/39450820
info_outline
The Better Man: Redefining Masculinity and Sex with Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude
10/30/2025
The Better Man: Redefining Masculinity and Sex with Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with psychologist and author Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude about what it really means to be “a better man.” Together, we explore how cultural conditioning, shame, and lack of real education have left so many men confused about sex, masculinity, and intimacy. Eric shares how his Catholic upbringing and family’s unusually frank conversations about sex shaped his perspective, and how those early experiences inspired his book, The Better Man. We dive into common myths about porn, testosterone, and what men are “supposed” to want—and how those beliefs often block real connection and pleasure. Along the way, Eric opens up about the importance of platonic touch, the emotional cost of living inside “the man box,” and what it takes to build relationships rooted in honesty and consent. We also talk about resentment, boundaries, and the hard truth that being a better lover starts with being a better human. Connect with Eric Website: Book: The Better Man Connect with Deborah Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/38788555
info_outline
Fierce and Tender Masculinity with Dene Sebastiana
10/27/2025
Fierce and Tender Masculinity with Dene Sebastiana
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with elder, teacher, author, and longtime men’s work facilitator Dene Maria Sebastiana, author of Fierce & Tender: Healing the Deep Masculine. We explore what really happens inside men’s circles—and why emotional maturity, vulnerability, and deep male connection are essential for better sex and healthier relationships. Dene shares his journey from growing up in a hyper-masculine world to leading transformational circles across the U.S. and Mexico. He talks about the power of integrating both the fierce and the tender—the masculine and feminine energies within all of us—and how that integration shapes intimacy, partnership, and personal growth. This conversation is grounded, heart-centered, and full of insight—a reminder that healing the masculine isn’t abstract. It’s embodied, relational, and deeply human. Connect with Dene Website: Book Fierce & Tender: Healing The Deep Masculine Connect with Deborah Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/38788830
info_outline
How to Re-Spark Your Libido with Dr. Diane Mueller
10/14/2025
How to Re-Spark Your Libido with Dr. Diane Mueller
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with board-certified sexologist Dr. Diane Mueller. She holds doctorates in naturopathy and acupuncture, is the founder of MyLibidoDoc.com, and hosts The Libido Lounge podcast. Together we explore how science, spirituality, and sensuality come together to shape desire—what awakens it, and what quietly turns it off. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Diane shares her journey from a strict Catholic upbringing to reclaiming pleasure as a source of healing and power. Along the way, we talk about what’s missing in traditional medical training around sexuality, how arousal cycles differ between men and women, and why libido isn’t just hormonal—it’s a reflection of vitality, safety, and connection to self. Dr. Diane offers deep insight into why passion fades in long-term relationships and how novelty can reawaken erotic energy. She reminds us that pleasure isn’t indulgence—it’s nourishment. And she shares grounded, practical tools from her upcoming book, Want to Want It, for reconnecting with your body, expanding curiosity, and creating more joy and intimacy in your sexual lif Connect with Diane Website: MyLibidoDoc.com Preorder the Book Want to Want it Connect with Deborah Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Resources & Links: HoneyMoon Extravaganze
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/38584555
info_outline
Pelvic Health, Pleasure & the Cooch Ball with Jana Danielson
09/23/2025
Pelvic Health, Pleasure & the Cooch Ball with Jana Danielson
Pelvic Health, Pleasure & the Cooch Ball with Jana Danielson In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with pelvic health expert and creator of the Cooch Ball, Jana Danielson. We explore the connection between pelvic floor health and sexual well-being, and how caring for this overlooked part of the body can unlock more intimacy, pleasure, and vitality. Along the way, Jana shares her journey of pain, incontinence, and dismissal by the medical system—and how discovering Pilates led to her healing and ultimately the creation of the Cooch Ball. We talk about the emotional impact of pelvic floor dysfunction, the difference between hypo- and hypertonic muscles, and surprising links between the jaw, feet, and pelvis. Jana reframes pleasure as a birthright and guides us through a simple breathing practice to release tension and reconnect with the body. You’ll walk away from this conversation with inspiration, practical tools, and a fresh perspective on how small daily practices can transform not only pelvic health but also the quality of connection and pleasure in relationships. Connect with Jana Website: https://bloombetter.life/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thecoochball Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@Jana.Danielson Free Gift: Healthy Pelvic Floor eBook https://info.bloombetter.life/healthy-pelvic-floor-ebook585347 Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Resources & Links: Join us at Coochella Women’s Wellness events: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1608715715009?aff=oddtdtcreator https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1636824980579?aff=oddtdtcreator
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/38320500
info_outline
Relational Leadership: Transforming Love Without Your Partner with Dr. Jeni Wahlig
09/04/2025
Relational Leadership: Transforming Love Without Your Partner with Dr. Jeni Wahlig
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex and relationship coach, Dr. Jeni Wahlig, co-founder of Powerful Love Relationships and creator of the Powerful Love Method. Together we explore how to create “next level love” through radical self-leadership—even when your partner isn’t ready or willing to do the work. In this conversation, we dive into Jeni’s Awareness → Choice → Power framework and how it helps you stop repeating old patterns, renegotiate agreements with freedom and repair, and reframe conflict as an opportunity for deeper trust. Along the way, Jeni shares her powerful personal story: a seven-year, on-again off-again journey with her partner Cal that spanned other marriages, included the heartbreak of separation, and ultimately led to their reconnection. She describes how shifting from blame to personal leadership not only transformed their relationship but also became the foundation of the Powerful Love Method she now teaches. From there, we open into a candid look at polyamory—not as a lifestyle of multiple partners, but as an identity and a practice of love as something expansive. Jeni explains why this perspective reshapes what it means to have a soulmate, and how embracing fluidity and ongoing repair can create resilience in any relationship, monogamous or not. This episode is your invitation to step into relational leadership—so you can claim your power, create safety for intimacy to grow, and experience the extraordinary love you deserve. Connect with Dr Jeni Website: https://powerfulove.com Facebook Facebook Youtube Free Gift https://powerfulove.com/freegift Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: YouTube Instagram Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/38094730
info_outline
Non-Monogamy, Relationship Anarchy, and the Search for Meaningful Connection with Mel Cassidy
08/11/2025
Non-Monogamy, Relationship Anarchy, and the Search for Meaningful Connection with Mel Cassidy
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Mel Cassidy, a queer, multidisciplinary somatic practitioner and relationship coach who specializes in supporting queer and questioning folks navigating non-monogamy. Together, we explore the liberating possibilities of honest, consensual non-monogamy—how it works, why it can be both exhilarating and challenging, and what it means to approach relationships with openness and authenticity. Mel’s personal journey—from crafting imaginative, non-monogamous love stories as a child to courageously embracing relationship anarchy and becoming their own primary partner—sets the stage for a conversation that is both vulnerable and deeply empowering. As we dive in, Mel shares how colonialism and the nuclear family model have shaped our ideas of love and commitment, why chosen and extended kinship networks are essential, and how perfectionism and societal norms can quietly limit our relational freedom. Along the way, we unpack Mel’s unique framework for mapping relational landscapes, explore the nervous system’s role in building meaningful connection, and discover how to create space for both autonomy and intimacy. If you’re ready to break free from outdated scripts, expand your understanding of love, and build relationships that reflect your truest self, this episode offers both the insight and the tools to begin. Connect with Mel Website: Insta: Free Gift mini-ebook Connection in Disconnected Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/37767390
info_outline
Erotic Blueprints: Tools for Everyday Erotic Energy with Ryan Brown
07/26/2025
Erotic Blueprints: Tools for Everyday Erotic Energy with Ryan Brown
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Sex, Relationship and Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach Ryan Brown. Together, we explore how understanding the Erotic Blueprints can unlock new ways to experience pleasure, connection, and self-expression. Ryan’s own story, from growing up in a conservative, sex-negative environment to embracing their full erotic and gender expansiveness, sets the stage for a conversation that is both honest and inspiring. As we dive deeper, Ryan unpacks what makes the Erotic Blueprints so powerful, explaining how they can be maps to guide us toward a richer, juicier experience of life and intimacy. Along the way, we explore the difference between sexuality and eroticism, how to bring play and curiosity into everyday life, and why dismantling societal boxes around sex and gender is essential to finding authentic joy. Ryan also shares practical tools and coaching insights, from mirror work for healing body image to practices that invite more presence and pleasure into daily routines. They bring a fresh perspective on gender liberation and platonic eroticism, offering a vision of erotic energy that is both expansive and deeply human. If you’re ready to break old patterns and discover new pathways to connection and self-discovery, this episode will give you the tools and inspiration to begin. Connect with Ryan Website: humxnsx.com Linktree: https://linktr.ee/humxn.sx Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/37562700
info_outline
What Women Really Want in Bed with Susan Morgan Taylor, MA
07/09/2025
What Women Really Want in Bed with Susan Morgan Taylor, MA
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with leading Somatic Sex Therapist Susan Morgan Taylor, Ma. We explore how women can reclaim their sexuality—not by waiting for someone else to unlock their pleasure, but by learning to create it for themselves. Susan shares her powerful personal story—how she went from a sexless marriage to discovering deep, full-body pleasure on her own. That awakening became the catalyst for her life’s work helping others break free from sexual shame and disconnection. Together, we unpack the common myths about women’s sexuality and why so many women lose interest in sex over time. Susan explains how stress, safety, and relationship dynamics shape desire—and why learning your own body is essential for lasting connection. She also introduces her Pleasure Keys framework, rooted in relaxation, presence, and internal awareness. Along the way, we explore how to navigate mismatched libidos, sexual fantasies, and communication challenges with curiosity instead of shame. This conversation is a reminder that great sex starts within. You’ll leave with practical tools—like the “pleasure date” practice—and one bold question to ask yourself that can turn your sex life around. Connect with Susan Website: https://www.pleasurekeysretreat.com Free Gift: eBook: www.pleasurekeys.com Free monthly masterclass https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/37344275
info_outline
Queer Flirting: Somatic Practices to Spark Connection with Danie Bergstrom
06/16/2025
Queer Flirting: Somatic Practices to Spark Connection with Danie Bergstrom
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Somatic Sex Coach Danie Bergstrom where we explore what it really means to initiate intimacy with confidence—especially for queer women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) folks navigating trauma, social conditioning, and disconnection from desire. Throughout the conversation, Danie shares her personal journey of coming out after leaving a 7-year marriage with a man—a turning point that led her to discover somatic work and reconnect with her body after years of dissociation. From that work, she began supporting others who feel stuck, unsure how to move from awareness to embodied change. Danie offers insight into how somatics can gently rewire our relationship with pleasure and intimacy. Along the way, we talk about nonverbal consent, how to initiate without anxiety, and why lesbian sex doesn’t follow a single script. She also explains why “Where do you feel that in your body?” isn’t always the best place to start—and what to ask instead. If you’ve ever struggled with initiating sex, felt unsure how to communicate boundaries, or wanted a deeper connection with your body—this episode offers practical tools and permission to start small. Connect with Danie Website: sapphicsexologist.com Free Gift: sapphicsexologist.com/freebie Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/37031375
info_outline
Navigating Sex, Dating & Neurodiversity with Dr. Matt Zakreski
05/28/2025
Navigating Sex, Dating & Neurodiversity with Dr. Matt Zakreski
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with clinical psychologist and neurodiversity expert Dr. Matt Zakreski about navigating sex, dating, and relationships through the lens of neurodivergence. From decoding consent to building confidence in communication, Dr. Matt offers real talk, deep insight, and practical tools for connection. In this conversation, we go behind the scenes of the social dynamics most people take for granted—like reading the room, picking up on flirting, or knowing how to initiate intimacy—and what happens when your brain processes the world differently. Dr. Matt breaks down why things like anxiety, social cues, and different ways of developing can make relationships feel especially confusing or overwhelming for neurodivergent folks. We explore how to build social and sexual competence through practice, why naming your needs is powerful, and how embracing your unique wiring can lead to more authentic intimacy. If you’ve ever felt like dating is confusing, consent is awkward, or you’re not doing it “right”—this episode will help you feel seen, empowered, and better equipped to create connection on your terms. Connect with Dr Matt Zakreski Website: The Playbook: https://www.drmattzakreski.com/the-neurodiversity-playbook Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmattzakreski/ Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/36760020
info_outline
From Taboo to Truth: Inside the World of Adult Film with Rachel Steele
05/21/2025
From Taboo to Truth: Inside the World of Adult Film with Rachel Steele
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Adult Film Performer, Producer and CEO of Red MILF Productions, Rachel Steele about the liberating—and often misunderstood—world of sexual fantasy. From taboo storylines to personal empowerment, Rachel shares how her work creates space for people to safely explore their desires without shame. In this fascinating conversation, we take you behind the scenes of the adult film industry—from camming and casting to scripting and shooting—and unpack the difference between sexual entertainment and education. Rachel opens up about how she accidentally entered the industry, why she started her own production company, and the deep psychology behind the fantasies that resonate most. Together, we explore how shame shapes our desires, and how storytelling can actually help release it. Rachel talks candidly about censorship, societal stigma, and the emotional impact her work has on viewers who finally feel seen and accepted. If you’ve ever wondered what really goes into adult content—or why certain fantasies pull at you—this conversation offers an honest, eye-opening look at how fantasy can be a force for healing, creativity, and connection. Connect with Rachel X: Website: Instagram: Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/36663385
info_outline
Keeping the Spark Alive Beyond the Honeymoon Stage with Jason and Tina Marie Scott
05/01/2025
Keeping the Spark Alive Beyond the Honeymoon Stage with Jason and Tina Marie Scott
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with relationship coaches, podcast hosts, and longtime partners Jason and Tina Marie Scott. We explore what it really takes to keep love alive beyond the honeymoon stage—and how a thriving relationship is built not on perfection, but on presence, communication, and intentional care. During this conversation, Jason and Tina Marie discuss the foundation of friendship in their 33-year marriage, how they’ve redefined traditional roles in their partnership, and why self-awareness is key to lasting intimacy. Along the way, they share their own story—from a bumpy first meeting to creating a life of love, laughter, and growth together. They also introduce their Manifest Method, a practical framework couples can use to strengthen communication, deepen emotional connection, and bring intention into everyday interactions. With tools like their 20 Emotional Intimacy Questions, they offer a clear path for couples to reconnect and evolve—together. This episode is packed with heart, humor, and wisdom—and a reminder that great relationships don’t just happen. They’re created, moment by moment, with care. Connect with Jason and Tina Marie Scott Website https://legendaryrelationship.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legendaryrelationship/ Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/36396515
info_outline
Kinks, Fetishes, and Boundaries: A Deep Dive with Miss Em
04/18/2025
Kinks, Fetishes, and Boundaries: A Deep Dive with Miss Em
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I chat with Dominatrix and kink educator Miss. Em, who brings over 20 years of experience in the world of BDSM, fetishes, and power dynamics. Hear about how her early curiosity around taboo desires became a calling—and how she uses passion, presence, and emotional intelligence to create safe, transformative experiences. During this conversation, Miss. Em shares her insights on everything from the origins of fetish and submission to the importance of aftercare and the art of psychological play. We explore how kink isn’t always about sex—and how rituals, scent, and memory can create deep arousal and connection. Along the way, we talk about what it means to be an ethical Dominant, the surprising challenges of online BDSM, and why honest communication is at the center of any powerful erotic exchange. This episode invites you to drop the shame, get curious, and expand your understanding of intimacy—through the lens of kink, consent, and deep trust. Connect with Miss Em Website - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sultrymissem/ Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/36217390
info_outline
Tools to Make Sex Talks Easy with Dr. Evelin Dacker
04/10/2025
Tools to Make Sex Talks Easy with Dr. Evelin Dacker
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I chat with Sexologist and Educator Dr. Evelin Molina Dacker about the power of open conversations around sexual health at every stage of life. She gets real about her own journey—breaking free from societal expectations and redefining what pleasure looks like, especially through menopause. During this conversation, Dr. Eveline shares her simple but powerful STARS framework to help guide open and shame-free discussions around intimacy. We discuss how this tool can help anyone—whether single or partnered—navigate important conversations about sex with ease and confidence. Along the way, we dive into the emotional and physical changes that come with aging, the surprising joys of this new chapter, and how shifting cultural attitudes are making space for deeper, more honest conversations about desire. We chat about how embracing these changes can lead to greater intimacy and confidence rather than fear or uncertainty. This episode is a reminder that talking about sex shouldn’t be awkward—it should be empowering. You’ll walk away with fresh insights on how to communicate your desires, navigate changes with confidence, and embrace pleasure at any stage of life Connect with Dr Ducker Website - MakeTimeForTheTalk.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexmeddoc/ Connect with Deborah
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/36078825
info_outline
Fantasies, Secrets & Good Sex with Dr. Toni Bear
03/28/2025
Fantasies, Secrets & Good Sex with Dr. Toni Bear
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sexologist and intimacy expert Dr. Toni Baer. We dive into sexual identity, fantasies, and the power of secrets in relationships. Dr. Toni shares how her personal journey—from high school teacher to sexologist—was shaped by a deeply personal family tragedy that ignited her passion for helping others embrace their desires and navigate sexual identity. Along the way, we explore common sexual fantasies, why some are better left unspoken, and how privacy and consent shape intimate conversations. Dr. Toni also reveals how secrets can create stress in relationships offering guidance on how to balance openness with discretion. From cultural perspectives on sexuality to vetting within kink and polyamorous communities, this conversation sheds light on how our different backgrounds can shape different desires. Dr. Toni also teases her upcoming TV show, The Voyage of Desire, offering a global look at human passion. Listen in to discover how understanding your fantasies—and the role of secrets in your life—can lead to deeper intimacy and greater self-acceptance. Tune in wherever you listen to podcasts, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review! Connect with Dr Toni Website - Free Gift: Aphrodite’s Love Secrets Annual ReAwakening Women's Retreat in Costa Rica. https://www.tonibearedd.com/retreats Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Questions and Answers Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/35914335
info_outline
Unpacking Jealousy & Pleasure with Ken Blackman
02/19/2025
Unpacking Jealousy & Pleasure with Ken Blackman
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with international Sex and Intimacy Educator and Relationship Coach, Ken Blackman. In this conversation, we dive deep into the nuance of jealousy and how it appears in relationships, exploring the different types of jealousy that can uniquely affect intimate connections. We also touch upon the transformative power of identifying different relationship motivations and how understanding these can shift things from transactional interactions to passionate partnerships. Along the way, Ken shares his inspiring story from being an Apple software engineer to his current mission of helping couples co-create thriving and fulfilling relationships. Ken gives us some valuable insights and practical tools to enhance sexual satisfaction through somatic pleasure and bridge the ‘orgasm gap’ – the disparity in orgasm between partners. Listen to this powerful episode and learn how to identify your own jealousy patterns to foster a more relaxed, fulfilling approach to intimacy. Connect with Ken Website - Facebook - Free Gift: "JEALOUSY—Everything You Need to Know" https://tally.so/r/3jPrEY Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/35345285
info_outline
Flirting and the Feminine with Coco Williams
01/30/2025
Flirting and the Feminine with Coco Williams
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Certified Bondassage Trainer, Entrepreneur & Coach, Coco Williams who dives deep with us into the power of feminine energy, the art of flirting, and the journey of personal growth and healing. We talk about how subtle shifts in communication can significantly affect our interactions and relationships and the ways flirting can elevate your mood and energy while also exploring the nuances of flirting across different cultures and the cultural fears around it. Along the way, Coco opens up about her healing journey, including therapy, coaching, and self-reflection techniques all leading her to finding joy in femininity and the empowering aspects of sex work. Coco shares her unique coaching techniques and personal experiences, including stories about the powerful role of maintaining a high vibration to manifest your desires. Learn about the importance of human interaction and flirtation beyond the bedroom, and how embodying specific fantasies in marketing has brought Coco both joy and financial success. You won’t want to miss Coco’s powerful insights and tools to manifest your desires in this fun conversation! Connect with Coco Website - TheHeauxprenuer.com Twitter - https://x.com/theheauxprenuer Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theheauxprenuer/ Pinterest - SoWellMsBehaved Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/35090520
info_outline
Navigating Sexual Communication with Tallulah Sulis
01/15/2025
Navigating Sexual Communication with Tallulah Sulis
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I chat with Sex Educator, Somatic Sex Therapist and Female Ejaculation Expert, Tallulah Sulis about empowering female sexuality, fostering better communication, and enhancing intimacy in relationships. As we talk, Tallulah shares a bit of her journey into somatic coaching as she learned the deep importance of nervous system regulation and discovered the concept of core erotic desires to deepen connection. Along the way, we chat about the value of slow seduction, the dynamics of initiating and responding partners, and how open, reciprocal communication can transform sexual experiences. This episode is absolutely packed with practical tools like "special attention dates" and "erotic mapping," giving you some very actionable steps to reduce pressure, explore desires, and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. Connect with Tallulah Free Gift *offering free 15 min phone consult Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/34863565
info_outline
The Neuroscience of Pleasure & Happiness with Dr. Nan Wise
01/03/2025
The Neuroscience of Pleasure & Happiness with Dr. Nan Wise
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I speak with the brilliant Neuroscientist, Best-Selling Author, Sex Therapist, & Licensed Psychotherapist Dr. Nan Wise. During this conversation, we dive into the fascinating and transformative topic of "The Neuroscience of Pleasure and Happiness," uncovering how our brains are beautifully designed for connection, joy, and emotional well-being. Along the way, Dr. Wise shares her inspiring journey from therapist to scientist, sparked by her deep curiosity about the powerful impact of pleasure on mental and emotional health. We also explore essential topics like overcoming sexual anxiety, fostering deeper, more authentic relationships, and navigating the challenges of our tech-driven world. Packed with wisdom and insight, this episode gives you some practical takeaways, including powerful exercises like "sensate focus" to reconnect with your body and mindfulness techniques to nurture more fulfilling, joyful connections in your life. Connect with Dr. Nan Author: Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding The Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life Website: Instatgram @AskDoctorNan Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/34715335
info_outline
From Conservative Roots to Liberated Lifestyle with Ayce Kypton
12/19/2024
From Conservative Roots to Liberated Lifestyle with Ayce Kypton
In this episode, I sit down with Certified Erotic Blueprints Coach and Somatic Sexological Bodyworker Ayce Kypton. Ayce shares his inspiring journey from growing up as a conservative, Republican Christian kid to living an erotically liberated lifestyle as a trans-masculine individual. Together, we explore his passion for somatic embodiment and reclaiming pleasure. Along the way, we dive into the importance of creating safe spaces—especially for LGBTQ individuals—to reconnect with their desires and express their needs openly. Ayce opens up about his personal journey of sexual self-discovery, revealing how approaches like the Erotic Blueprints and sexological bodywork helped shift his focus from pain to pleasure. Ayce teaches more about the five Erotic Blueprints and how they can enhance relationships and personal fulfillment. This conversation is packed with personal insights, practical advice, and a powerful reminder of the transformative impact of embracing pleasure without shame. Listen in on this engaging episode! Connect with Ayce https://www.aycekyptyn.com/somaticsexology Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ayce_kyptyn/ Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/34535420
info_outline
What is Relationship Anarchy? A conversation with Annie Boheler
12/05/2024
What is Relationship Anarchy? A conversation with Annie Boheler
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with holistic mental health pioneer, Annie Boheler. Annie introduces us to the concept of relationship anarchy– a uniquely refreshing approach to relationships that balances chaos and order, recognizing the full range of connections equally. Hear about the influence of drawing from her extensive background in biology, environmental sciences, trauma healing, and psychedelic integration. Annie’s extensive background in biology, environmental sciences, trauma healing, and psychedelic integration influences how she views the range and styles of relationships and the varying factors that play an impactful role to our experiences of autonomy and intimacy. Along the way, we explore her insights on dealing with societal norms like monogamy, and the importance of consent and authentic communication while healing relationships. We also discuss the pervasive impacts of shame and information overload, and how to navigate modern challenges in our relationships. Throughout the conversation, Annie offers us actionable steps to enhance connection and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Connect with Annie Instagram Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@wellnessgeneralist1318 Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/34307005
info_outline
“Love's Not Colorblind” & Polyamorous Communities with Kevin Patterson
11/05/2024
“Love's Not Colorblind” & Polyamorous Communities with Kevin Patterson
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Author & Polyamory Educator Kevin Patterson exploring the world of non-monogamy. During this conversation, we delve into the nuances of polyamory, debunking stereotypes, and discussing the importance of clear communication and respect in non-monogamous relationships. Kevin's personal experiences, from navigating long-term relationships to balancing family and social dynamics, offer valuable insights for anyone exploring life outside the bounds of monogamy. We also get into the challenges of balancing multiple relationship dynamics, maintaining personal interests, self-care and parenthood. Kevin speaks to race and representation in the polyamorous community, emphasizing that acknowledging racial differences can enrich our understanding of one another. Kevin’s thoughtful approach to identity, power dynamics, and personal customization of relationships promises to be both enlightening and transformative. Whether you are polyamory-curious or poly-experienced, this conversation is rich with valuable tips and perspectives to nurture healthy polyamorous relationships and foster more inclusive communities. Connect with Kevin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/polyrolemodels Get the Books https://www.kevinapatterson.com/books Connect with Deborah Got questions about sex and relationship?
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox
Practice and experimentation
/episode/index/show/56dfed5d-b2a3-475e-9205-05452cf74851/id/33786872