Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
Release Date: 02/25/2026
What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Men’s Coach and Co-Founder of The Undaunted Man, Geoff Laughton. We explore what’s really happening for men right now when it comes to desire, identity, and connection, and why so many relationships can look fine on the outside while feeling disconnected underneath. Along the way, we spoke about how Geoff’s own journey through burnout, long-term partnership, and decades of working with individuals and couples shaped his perspective. Throughout the conversation, we explore how relationships move through different phases over...
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Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with intimacy and relationship coach Marga Bardinski. Together, we explore how relationships evolve over time, how identity shifts through major life transitions like marriage and parenthood, and what it really means to create intimacy on your own terms. Throughout the conversation, Marga shares her journey into motherhood and how it challenged her assumptions about identity, partnership, and autonomy. Along the way, Deborah reflects on her own experience of preparing for marriage after decades in partnership, unpacking the unexpected...
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Why Receiving Pleasure Feels So Hard (And How to Change It) with Darshana Avila
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner, and speaker Darshana Avila. We explore why receiving pleasure can feel so hard—and what begins to shift when you learn how to come back into your body and your truth. Along the way, we spoke about how her early experiences in marriage, spirituality, and sexuality led her to question the disconnect so many of us feel. Through her journey into tantra, trauma work, and somatic practice, we explore how identity, conditioning, and lived experience shape our capacity to receive, not just...
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Sex After Menopause: Why Midlife Couples Struggle with Mark Platten
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men’s work leader and founder of the Integral Man Institute Mark Platten. Mark shares how his decades of work guiding men through rites of passage—and his lived experience walking alongside his wife through menopause—led him to focus on the often-overlooked transition midlife couples face when bodies, identities, and sexual dynamics begin to shift. Throughout the conversation, Mark and I explore how menopause and andropause reshape intimacy in long-term relationships, why so many couples feel blindsided by these changes, and how...
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Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
Dr. Emma Smith about how trauma, shame, and cultural conditioning can distort intimacy — and what it actually takes to reclaim pleasure, desire, and connection in an embodied, sustainable way. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Emma shares her journey from trauma therapy into sex therapy, and explains why healing doesn’t end when symptoms disappear. Along the way, we explore how the nervous system prioritizes survival over pleasure, why many people lose touch with desire after trauma or chronic stress, and how cultural messages about “good” and “bad” sexuality create deep layers...
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What Keeps a 37-Year Relationship Alive with the Open-Nesters
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Open Nesters co-hosts, speaker and consciousness facilitator Tessa and entrepreneur and DJ Amir. Together, they explore what it means to stay open — to each other, to pleasure, and to possibility — through decades of partnership, parenting, and evolving sexual expression. They share the story of their 37-year relationship, including how they kept their connection alive while raising three children, how their “open nest” mindset emerged, and how their journey into non-monogamy unfolded over time. Along the way, they reflect on...
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Staying Connected When Things Get Messy with Bryan Reeves
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
If intimacy feels harder than it should, this conversation offers a different way of looking at it. This episode is about staying connected through real emotions, real differences, and the very human messiness of long-term relationships. In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men’s and relationship coach Bryan Reeves. Bryan shares the winding path that led him here—from Air Force captain and corporate executive to relationship coach—after realizing in his late 30s that, despite being successful and well-intentioned, he had never actually learned how to create...
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Unlock Your Sexual Confidence with Melissa Louise
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with pleasure advocate and sex educator Melissa Louise. We explore the connection between sexual confidence, creativity, and self-trust, and how owning your sexual energy can change the way you show up in your relationships and your life. Along the way, Melissa shares her personal journey of growing up in a conservative, patriarchal culture in South Australia and navigating cultural shame, sexual trauma, and rigid gender roles. Together, we unpack how both men and women are constrained by societal expectations, how mistrust...
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The Better Man: Redefining Masculinity and Sex with Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with psychologist and author Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude about what it really means to be “a better man.” Together, we explore how cultural conditioning, shame, and lack of real education have left so many men confused about sex, masculinity, and intimacy. Eric shares how his Catholic upbringing and family’s unusually frank conversations about sex shaped his perspective, and how those early experiences inspired his book, The Better Man. We dive into common myths about porn, testosterone, and what men are “supposed” to...
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Fierce and Tender Masculinity with Dene Sebastiana
The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with elder, teacher, author, and longtime men’s work facilitator Dene Maria Sebastiana, author of Fierce & Tender: Healing the Deep Masculine. We explore what really happens inside men’s circles—and why emotional maturity, vulnerability, and deep male connection are essential for better sex and healthier relationships. Dene shares his journey from growing up in a hyper-masculine world to leading transformational circles across the U.S. and Mexico. He talks about the power of integrating both the fierce and the tender—the masculine...
info_outlineDr. Emma Smith about how trauma, shame, and cultural conditioning can distort intimacy — and what it actually takes to reclaim pleasure, desire, and connection in an embodied, sustainable way.
Throughout the conversation, Dr. Emma shares her journey from trauma therapy into sex therapy, and explains why healing doesn’t end when symptoms disappear. Along the way, we explore how the nervous system prioritizes survival over pleasure, why many people lose touch with desire after trauma or chronic stress, and how cultural messages about “good” and “bad” sexuality create deep layers of shame that can disconnect us from our bodies and our relationships.
Dr. Emma also offers powerful insights into what healing really looks like in practice: learning to recognize bodily signals of yes and no, cultivating curiosity instead of judgment, and rebuilding intimacy through small, accessible moments of pleasure. She explains how compassion toward ourselves opens the door to reclaiming desire, and how couples can shift from criticism and defensiveness into deeper connection by reconnecting with their own internal turn-on first.
At its core, this conversation is a reminder that no matter where you’re starting from, possibility exists — and reclaiming pleasure is not about fixing what’s broken, but about returning to your humanity, your curiosity, and your capacity to experience aliveness.
Better sex is a practice — and you can begin again anytime.
Connect with Dr. Emma Smith
Website: https://soliloquie.co/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/emmasmithphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JerseyEJ
Connect with Deborah
Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/
Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com
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