About Face

About Face explores identity, self, and healing, deep diving into divorce, addiction, sex and relationships, and family of origin stories. Through reflection, interview, and narrative storytelling this podcast deconstructs personal, family, and cultural narratives to better understand our ourselves and return to authenticity. Hosted by Kate Marlene, writer and narrative therapist.

Episode 52. The Power of Single-Mothering w/ Ruby Russell 06/17/2024

Episode 52. The Power of Single-Mothering w/ Ruby Russell As a single mom myself I've had to battle the negative stereotypes and stigmas around single motherhood and what happens after a marriage/parenting relationship breaks down. In this episode I am talking with Ruby Russell is a journalist, author, and single mom from London, also living in Berlin, and the author of Doing it All: The Social Power of Single Motherhood. Doing it All is a feminist exploration of single-motherhood, tracing a history through Victorian brothels, welfare rights activism and Black feminist traditions of othermothering. Ruby Russell tells a different story: of motherhood defined not by marriage or men, but as a nexus of solidarity beyond the patriarchal status quo. A personal quest for empowerment, Doing It All is also a fierce critique of the structures that leave single mums marginalised and exhausted – and a call to reclaim mothering as the life force of sustainable, connected and radically responsible communities.   In this episode we cover: Challenging dominant narratives about single-motherhood: “The archetypal single mother used to be the girl who didn’t hold out for a ring on her finger, or the deserted wife who couldn’t hold on to her man. But these days, most of us are women who detonated nuclear families we couldn’t tolerate.” The separation of romantic love and parenting, what happened to our relationships after birth, and what responsibilities fall to mothers, despite any efforts towards egalitarian models of care. The benefits of single motherhood and what ways we could improve communities and policies for single mothers: "Why should mothering without a man be so hard and how might we all do family better?” How 'mothering in capitalism is shit," the relationship between capitalism and the nuclear family and how advancements in feminism have still failed women and particularly mothers. “A woman’s fertility is more powerful than his virility” and the idea of reclaiming of fertility as woman’s power and how it has been eroded through patriarchy. How questioning our dependence on men allows more alternatives to the nuclear family and empowering our choices against patriarchy. The Legal system, which used to give no rights to women, has also stepped in trying to impose a 50/50 model on families, without considering the very different nature of mothering versus fathering. We talk about the “equalizing” imposition of the law and why it strips mothers of their natural rights. Abortion and feminism- how suppressing our fertility is different from asserting power and how to reimagine a feminism that includes motherhood. The Reproductive Justice Movement, and the intersectionality of single-motherhood, black feminism, welfare warriors, and sex workers. You can find Ruby Russell and her book online or at your local bookstore. Contact Kate Marlene IG: @katemarleo TikTok @katemarlene email: [email protected] /episode/index/show/aboutface/id/31771872

51. I Went to Jail! The Stories We tell About Ourselves 06/04/2024

50. Family Estrangement & Going No Contact w/ Janice Formichella 05/28/2024

49. PSA: Stop Texting When You Should Be Talking! 03/21/2024

48. Burnout in Mid-Life and 'The Way Home' w/ Ben Katt 03/14/2024

47. Managing Fear and Anger During Loss 03/04/2024

46. Love Stories in Art and Life w/ Olivia DeRecat 02/06/2024

45. Illness, Negative Self-Talk, and Healing 12/06/2023

44. Break Ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On w/ Janice Formichella 11/16/2023

43. College Pregnancy: An Interview with the Father (20 Years Later) 10/17/2023

42. My (Ex) Mother in Law Thinks I'm Cray! Dealing with Multiple Truths 10/04/2023

41. I Am Trapped in a Foreign Country!- Reimagining Limitations 09/26/2023

40. Truth Hurts: Saying the Hard Stuff 06/06/2022

39. Healing in Sex and Love w/ Quintin Mecke 05/22/2022

38. Truth Telling: if you want to heal, you have to be real 05/09/2022

37. I Got Hypnotized: Subconscious Storytelling 02/05/2021

36. Suffering is Optional- Attachment Stories 01/13/2021

35. Why Me? When Bad Things Happen 12/07/2020

34. I'm Successful, How Could I Be An Addict? 11/25/2020

34. I'm Successful, How Could I Be An Addict? I hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help? Today I am bringing you an interview that I did over the summer with Eilene Zimmerman who I first discovered after reading her viral article in the New York Times called, “.” I actually was doing my own research on this intersection between lawyers and addiction and this was a fascinating story about Eilene and her husband Peter, a high-powered attorney who died of a drug overdose, without her even knowing he had an addiction. What is interesting to me about this story is the many ways that our cultural representations of addiction and drug and alcohol use mask the reality that these problems happen at every level of society and this rise of white collar addiction is actually a testament to some of the systemic issues arising from materialism, wealth, spiritual or emotional detachment and the pressure of career or financial success. This interview is actually a conversation about her story and her book , which is currently being optioned for film by Elizabeth Moss and her film company Love & Squalor, who you might know from Madmen and The Handmaid’s Tale. We talk about why attorneys have a propensity for addiction, co-dependency and marriage to an addict, and why the competition and conditioning of the legal profession is killing lawyers. Eilene also shares about her own trauma recovery, and how writing a memoir and her story helped her overcome grief, loss, and reclaim her sense of self. Email: @restorya on Instagram Facebook: Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find . /episode/index/show/aboutface/id/16951799

33. Sick of Gratitude Lists? Try My Shit List 11/18/2020

E12- Getting Over a Break-Up, Divorce, Love Lost 10/30/2020

E11- Collective Grief and Rising Hope in a Pandemic 10/13/2020

E10- Challenging Our Food and Body Narratives 09/25/2020

E9: Restor(y)ing a Father's Absence 09/15/2020

E9: Restor(y)ing a Father's Absence When you think of the most important stories of your life, they are often about relationships. What stories you tell about yourself and your life often begin with family, parental bonds, siblings, and events that involved these important relationships. Whether you have strong bonds with your family or you have severed ties, you likely continue to have stories and narratives around your early life and how these relationships shaped who you are. I met Aidan “Taco” Jones when he did a stand-up show in Berlin. Most of his bit was about how his Australian mother got pregnant while traveling in Columbia and how he never met his father until this past year. It was as hilarious as it was also heartbreaking and such an insight into his life and the role of humor in his personal growth and healing. This episode is about the stories of our childhood, how they shape our identity and sense of self, and how returning and uncovering some of these unattended stories can help us towards healing and understanding. We also talk about mixed race identity, cultural identity, being raised by a non-biological parent, and the importance of self-acceptance. Find Aiden here: Podcast: Sitting Under a Tree Instagram: @aidanjonescomedy If you’ve been a subscriber to the show, thanks for listening to About Face or Restorya and if you’re new, welcome. If you didn’t already know this, I am also practicing as a narrative therapist here in Berlin and clients abroad who want to reach me by Skype. Those sessions can be booked through my website at Find me on Facebook: Insta: @Restorya Please consider leaving me a review on iTunes. You’ve probably heard this a 100 x by every podcaster, but it truly helps! I really like to provide this content and will continue to do so but as a creator it would really help me out to continue to grow my audience. Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin Our Theme music is the song Jeanne JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from the upcoming Album "White Fire" to be released in September 2020 /episode/index/show/aboutface/id/16015637

E8- When Fear is Real: Medical Fears, Money & Loss 09/08/2020

E7: Fear Narratives: Finding Self and Truth 08/28/2020

E6: Reimagining Self and the Journey in Tarot w/ Hannah Joy Graves 08/22/2020

E5- Poetry and Embodied Activism (Wicked Slam Live in Berlin) 08/07/2020

E5- Poetry and Embodied Activism (Wicked Slam Live in Berlin) I started my work in activism at more of the macro level. I went to law school and studied international human rights at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. this where George Floyd was murdered and sort of the starting point of the protests against police brutality in the U.S. When I was there I was working for the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of prison inmates. One of my jobs was to read the letters from the inmates, to decide if they had a claim. Now I can tell you what I was doing was listening, to stories, to emotions, to pain and loss. I was all in. The problem was that I was acting like a lawyer, And a lawyer’s job, is not about stories, or empathy, or emotions or heart. A lawyers job is to decide whether these facts square with the law. I would normally take these letters and put them in a pile that said, “NO CASE.” What that meant was that whatever personal experiences and injustices were at the heart of these inmate letters, they were not meaningful enough to make a mark on the law. This was sort of the beginning of my questioning the role of the law, my ability to work within the confines of the legal system, that I could see was deeply flawed and had so many blind spots. The personal is political and making sense of our past, how these personal stories and narratives are impacted and influenced by larger institutions of power do matter. So, I was very interested in this role of narrative and began work in literary theory as a Ph.D. student at NYU. I was interested in the role of narrative in the law, power structures. This sort of paved the way for me over the years, to have this base understanding of stories, and narrative, as a source of power and justice, but also as the real source of activism, healing and recovery. As a writer, I’ve always believed in translating my inner experience to the outer world, and in some ways that act in itself felt political. I am now a trained narrative therapist which means that I;m really looking at how systemic issues influence the individual, which brings me to tonights topic.. emotions. Emotions drive us, emotions are the root of passion and activism, and if you think about it they really begin in our bodies. I am doing somatic work in embodied activism which is really about learning how to see the body as the center point for any work at the individual and institutional level. How do we learn to become embodied, to see our bodies as a source of power and also often the place of oppression, because of race, gender, sexual orientation. Where does this all begin, in the body. But by becoming aware of our bodies. Becoming mindful of the body, we can begin to take back power. So, back to emotions. If you have never done this before. I want you to close your eyes and think about how emotions manifest in your body. When you’re scared, is your chest tight, does anger start in your gut, does excitement cause your fingers to shake. We experience emotions in our bodies and this is one way to reconnect to get really in touch with where you are in your body emotionally, so that you can channel it. Many times people don’t stop to feel their emotions, but they actually are a physical experience, and instead of thinking of emotions as something to get out, like a catharsis, it can be more helpful to think of them as a kind of territory in your body, a place where you can live them experience them, and use them as a way to fuel your power. I could talk more about this, but I wanted to just give that quick intro into the potential of narrative and storytelling gin transformational healing but also make this connection to somatic healing and embodied activism. You can learn more about my community healing and work at restoryatherapy.com and I will also read this poem, which I think for me is a personal reflection on the relationship between this inner and outer world… Formless From the rooftops, that carve a pathway Towards the steeple, the clouds thin and even Where birds perch, on the stone meridian The leaves that grow tired and fold. Beneath this lapping sky, that once belonged to us. In the milky sunset haze, the shadows crawl north. And we wait, now, for the face of night. Her glow, the mysteries, that lie beneath. The stories that unfurl between promises Between the sheets, the windows and walls There was us. And then, the world. Dampened lust, our bodies, we are lost in Formlessness, beyond the rings of ecstasy We know these lines, the edges of being, Where we wait to be discovered, Uncovered, and lifted, elevated beyond White crests, the carnal rain. The walls are dirty with time. And tell us more than we want to remember. So we silence them, with only our eyes. There was nothing left to bare. Secret eddies of lost thrown stones. There was nothing left for us to bare. And this time, we will need a map, To guide us from these rooms, to tell us Where to go, how to be, the way we were. Out there in here or in here, out there. The desert has never touched the ocean. The sun can only long to kiss moon. From pink to blue to summer night. It wasn’t long until the hum of the street, The dog barking, pulling at the leash, Life is awakened, in the dark. The wind beckons, not forgotten From the windows, we hear her calls, It’s a beat, a force we won’t forsake. Kate Marlena Leone July 13, 2020 /episode/index/show/aboutface/id/15520229

E4- Challenging Gender Binaries and Biology Narratives w/ Aisling Ní Chába 07/28/2020

E3- You Are Not Your Problems 07/17/2020

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