Zero Degree Podcast
Chris' Podcast
info_outline
A Marriage Therapist's Insights on Relationships, Parenting, and Counseling with Scott Mallon
02/28/2024
A Marriage Therapist's Insights on Relationships, Parenting, and Counseling with Scott Mallon
In this podcast episode, Chris interviews Scott Mallon a licensed marriage and family therapist. They delve into Scott's personal experiences with divorce and co-parenting, as well as a challenging patenting advice. Scott also discusses his professional work with addicts and first responders, emphasizing the importance of resilience and learning from his clients. He also shares some WILD storys with his time with marriage therapy! Follow Chris HERE! IG - @christarta TRANSCRIPT Chris (00:00:00) - Being a marriage therapist and being divorced yourself has got to be some lessons and probably some stories that you may have. Scott (00:00:06) - You know, after my my divorce ten years ago, Tinder, which is sort of embarrassing to admit, but but so I hopped on that, like after my divorce, kind of trying to see if I still had it. And I was actually counseling a husband and wife, and I saw the wife on Tinder. Chris (00:00:24) - And they were. Scott (00:00:24) - Trying to they were trying to reconcile. Chris (00:00:26) - Their relationship. Yeah. Gosh. What's up everybody? We are back. Live today. We are here with Scott Malin. Scott is one of my best friends. Lifelong best friends. He's a licensed marriage and family therapist. He is. He works at Tri America Health and Wellness. Uh, there's offices all over, but I think your home office is Oakland, right? Yep. Um. Scott's got a lot of stories. They got a lot of stories about me. But today we're going to talk about, uh, we're going to talk mostly about him and what it's like being a therapist and what it's like being a marriage or family therapist, especially when, um, when you get to know Scott, you're going to understand that he's had a few struggles of his own in those areas. Chris (00:01:11) - And that makes me very curious about, uh, what kind of experience, what kind of a life experience that has brought to him. Um, it cannot be easy to deal with other people's problems all day and then go home and face your own. Uh, I don't know that I could do it. I think every therapist has a special job, and they help people. And it's a very important, uh, it's a very important in our community, in our culture, to be able to do that and offer advice. Um, so what's up, bud? Scott (00:01:42) - Not much. Uh, you know, if I thought we were going to be on video somewhere, I would have thought it would be in the news. Chris (00:01:48) - But there may be news clips somewhere. Uh, we didn't grow up in that. That era, you know, there was a lot less cameras, a lot less videos when we were growing up. Um, which I'm. I'm. Scott (00:01:58) - Yeah, we're grateful for. It's funny, you know, like, I just literally dealt with that, uh, you know, you talk about, like, struggles and personal life. Scott (00:02:05) - Um, you know, my daughter's 11. Uh, she made a mistake, and it found its way onto Facebook, and it went sort of viral. Um, you know, I won't get into too much about what she did just because I like to protect her a little bit. Um, but, yeah, went viral. And, you know, thankfully, it was, like, over a break. Um, but still, when we came back from the break, uh, you know, she was getting ostracized and stuff like that. So we had to kind of come out and say, you know, you know, put a post out and kind of try to rectify what happened. But thank God we did not grow up in that time because we definitely would have been, you know, I don't know if I'd have this career. Well, they knew some of the stuff that we used to do. Chris (00:02:56) - If I get talking, you may not have this very much longer. The, the, the I think that's an important thing that you just said because, you know, I think a lot of stuff gets done on social media now. Chris (00:03:08) - And that seems to be like, you know, the story that you're telling is, you know, maybe something was posted and it shouldn't have been. And even adults probably jumped on the bandwagon, which absolutely is is not a great message. And, um, you know, I. Scott (00:03:24) - Spent two weeks reading what a shitty parent I was. Chris (00:03:27) - Right? Scott (00:03:27) - And they didn't even know who I was. Chris (00:03:29) - Yeah, these are people that are placing judgment. And I'm going to tell you, like I have an 11 year old also. And she makes mistakes. They all make all kids make mistakes. I made mistakes and I do it in a public setting. And to have other parents judge you and your child must make you feel so many different emotions anger, rage, sadness, embarrassment. Like I don't even know. Like you go down the list. Scott (00:03:52) - Yeah. And and also like, just sad for the fact that, like, you know, this adolescence is a time when you're supposed to me, this is a time of learning, you know, this is you're trying to learn how to be a person. Scott (00:04:04) - I mean, I look at these kids, you know, in middle school and holy shit. I mean, I was looking at my daughter the other day going out the house she had on her UGG shoes, a freaking Hazel sweatshirt. I'm like, your outfit's worth more than what I got, you know? And she's holding a Starbucks and a Lululemon bag and a Tory Burch bag. I don't know who these people are, but I know that it costs some money, and I think we're forcing kids to kind of grow up a little bit too fast. Um, and, you know, like when we were 11 or sixth grade, I mean, shit, I mean, it was sports and, you know, you know, there was girls and stuff like that, but we put it. Chris (00:04:41) - On and hopped on our bike and went about our way. Yeah. And people and places we were out all day long. It wasn't like the instant gratification of Snapchat and whatever other social media kids are allowed to have. Chris (00:04:52) - And like. Scott (00:04:53) - You know, my daughter was wrong and what she did and what I told her is, you know, that's kind of like part and parcel to this generation because everybody's a keyboard warrior. Um, you know, if people are watching, they know me, they know I bust chops. And I have, you know, two time class clown champion, uh, both middle school and high school. But, like, and I was talking to one of our friends, and I was like, I'm surprised I didn't get into more fights, you know, because I didn't care. Older than me. You know, I went at whoever, um, but I did it face to face, and, um, now everybody just, you know, types away. And it's out there for everybody to see, and you don't get a chance to take it back, right? Like, you know, some of the stuff that we did, you know, you don't remember? Chris (00:05:40) - Yeah. Um, I often ask you stories about my life. Scott (00:05:46) - Um, so, like, you know, at least it gets to die. But with Facebook and social media, you know, it lives forever. And that's really an important message. I know a lot. Schools are doing programming with that. But that's an important message for parents. I think, you know, be vigilant about checking your kids. Shit. Um, you know what happened? Uh, for me again, you know, you talk about, like, my personal struggle. Um, it was in the. I was in a process. I just had an eight year relationship end, and, um, it ended really badly, uh, where it was sort of framed in front of me and my daughter that, like, she was kind of part of the problem. And so she was probably feeling, you know. Oh, yeah, she's dealt with a lot of stuff in her young life. And, you know, she probably had these feelings inside and got into a fight with her best friend, you know, like we used to do, and then just said some, some stuff and, um. Scott (00:06:40) - You know, this happened on a day that my furniture was being moved into my new place. So like the night before I was passed out early because I was beat from from all the chaos and I didn't check her stuff. And, you know, that's what happened. And it's hard for me because I kind of shoulder load, um, in everything. I just blame myself, you know, I always think, how can I do better? Which is a good thing. But, you know, sometimes it sucks. Chris (00:07:09) - You beat yourself up if you think you did something wrong and you could talk yourself into taking blame for something that maybe it wasn't your fault but could have been avoided. Maybe, you know, and you're you co-parent with your ex-wife. So you have half custody. Yep. So you're a single dad for half the week? I mean, you're single that all the time, but you have your daughter for half the week, which is tricky, too. You know, I'd imagine, like. Chris (00:07:32) - Yeah, like, like dealing with that and, you know, not being all together and being able to handle stuff immediately or, or together, like, that's a whole nother level of complication to what your situation is. Scott (00:07:45) - Yeah. There's, you know, her mom's remarried. They have another child. Um, I'm pretty blessed in the fact that, you know, her mom and I get along really well. Um, I don't know. You know, I think we put a lot of work in, uh, to kind of making that happen. And when this happened, you know, she was at my house, and I was eight minutes and we sat down, talked to my daughter, and started the ball rolling on what we were going to do to, you know, she got punished, of course, but also we made her go, you know, apologize and write an apology. I wanted her to look these people in the face, um, since she didn't on the Facebook. But yeah, it is. Scott (00:08:23) - Co-parenting is is tough, even if you live in the same house. Um, but that gets harder when, you know, you got a kid going back and forth and you don't have the same stuff at both places. Um, but. Chris (00:08:34) - I mean, uh, so I'm curious about your daughter went in and stood up for herself and apologized and kind of took the took the beating in person, right? Scott (00:08:44) - Yeah. Chris (00:08:45) - Did anybody comment on that aspect of it? Scott (00:08:47) - Uh, so her mom like, uh, you know, took the bull by the horns and, and after, like, reading for two weeks what shitty people we were, um, she decided to, uh, you know, put something out and take ownership because, uh, there wasn't, you know, to the person who posted its testament, they didn't post my daughter's name, but kids talk and things got around. And so, um, you know, her mom put a post out, and that actually went kind of viral, too. Scott (00:09:14) - And we got a lot of love and support in that way. I actually, to be fair, I don't read that shit. Yeah. Um, it's funny, we're on Facebook. I don't really that's part of how I keep myself saying, you know, I believe in keeping a three foot world. Um, I only take in the stuff that I want, so I try to stay, you know, avoid, you know, social media. Um, it's fun in the morning, you know, when you go to bathroom to take a look. But other than that, you know, I try to stay away from that shit because most of the people on there are fake. They're, you know, they put on what they want their lives to look like. Um, they're not really authentic. You know, it's. Chris (00:09:55) - Funny because, you know, I started posting more about my life story and recovery and addiction and things like that, and I'm being as real as possible. Scott (00:10:04) - Um, without going to jail with. Chris (00:10:07) - You know, I'll plead the fifth, but, like, you know. I think the world needs more of that. That's why I decided to do it. And, you know, you see everybody's highlight reel. And I always say, that's great. You know what I mean? If we're friends and I don't see you off and I love seeing your family, I love seeing what's going on, you know, but when you could send that message of reality and struggle, which everybody has, I think it's inspirational and hopeful and it helps people like. Say, man, like, you know, they post all this, all this good shit, but you know, they struggle to of course. Scott (00:10:36) - I would actually try to do that in therapy. Yeah. Um. Nobody wants to go to a know it all. You know, nobody wants to see somebody that they thinks got the world figured out. And I think a lot of clients do think their therapist, you know, you should have your life pretty much figured out. Scott (00:10:53) - But that doesn't stop bad shit from happening. And, you know, it's really not about the stuff that happens to you. It's kind of how you respond to it. And so, you know, I had to take some sessions while I was moving, you know, and I had no WiFi. I'm doing tele therapy and I'm in this empty place. You know, it's kind of hard to avoid. Like, where the fuck are you? You know, like, um. And so I think if you use self-disclosure in therapy in an appropriate way, it's a real helpful tool. I think as long as, you know, your client's not kind of taking care of you. Um, you know, I tend to share stuff after I've come through it. Um, and then people will be like, Holy shit, that was, like, happening while, you know, we were working together, I couldn't even tell. Uh, and I know some of my staff has said to me like, oh, my God, like, you seem like your life is. Scott (00:11:44) - So I'm like, well, sit down, pull up a chair. Let me tell you what's going on. And they were like, Holy shit. You know. Chris (00:11:50) - Um, there's something huge to be said that a marriage or family therapist has been through the struggles. You know, I would appreciate that if I had to go to one. And I was listening to them and understanding that, like, oh, like that happened to you. Yeah. Now you have the real experience. You know, it's easy to kind of be educated in the, in the stuff and talk about it and not really know, but what the experience does to somebody or what the experience makes you think or makes you feel like. So I think, um. I value experience a lot in those situations, you know. Scott (00:12:23) - Especially in this, um. You know, for me, uh, I tell people, like, I didn't learn what I learned. I mean, I read a lot of books, right? I had to I had to take a bunch of tests. Scott (00:12:35) - I had to take a bunch of licensing exams. I'm licensed in both New York and New Jersey. Um, so there was a lot of work on the on the front end of that. But really, what's made me successful in, in my business, I think, is the fact that I've failed so much, um, in so many places that like, I'm like, oh, I know exactly what that's like. You know, I've been through it and you can, you know, everybody's different, of course, but you can offer some guidelines as to what, you know, a playbook looks like for how to get out of that shit. You know? Chris (00:13:05) - Yeah, I think that's invaluable experience, especially for your job. You know, similarly, it's hard, like I couldn't talk to somebody about recovering an addiction that hasn't gone through it or is in recovery or attempting to be in recovery. Right. For me, that's there's an understanding there, an implied understanding with these other people. Um, I know you've, um, counseled addicts early on in your career. Chris (00:13:29) - Maybe not so much anymore, but. Scott (00:13:31) - Uh, well, so, uh, I'll be resuming that. We have, uh, we'll be opening a substance use disorders clinic. Um, also in Oakland, about a quarter mile from my office. Um, and we do addiction medicine there, uh, and things like that. And I've also worked, you know, I used to work for a government agency, and we had our own sort of in-house treatment program, um, for people that would self-identify like, you know, you can't lose your job if you come forward and say, like, I'm blowing lines, you know, they're not going to get rid of you. Um, but if they if that's what they. Chris (00:14:04) - Got to say. Scott (00:14:04) - Yeah. Like, I mean. Chris (00:14:06) - I there's. Scott (00:14:07) - There's some other stuff that have you. Chris (00:14:08) - Understands. Yeah. Scott (00:14:09) - There's some other stuff that goes on, but um, but yeah, your, your job is protected. Um, if you self disclose, but if you, you know, piss hot and. Chris (00:14:20) - All bets are off. Consequences? Yeah. Yeah. If you come forward for help. Just like most things in life. Right? If you make a mistake and you come forward, most, most times you receive the grace, you know, and. But, um. So. When you have counselled addicts, do you find a common thread that kind of weaves through most of them? Uh. Scott (00:14:40) - You know, I would say two things I think are pretty prominent. Uh, one is there's usually a lot of, like, history of trauma, you know, people trying to get through stuff. Um, and then the other thing which goes with that is, you know, what the substance does, which is it kind of numbs us. Chris (00:14:59) - Um, avoidance. Scott (00:15:00) - Right. Exactly. So, you know, there's a million different things to use to avoid stuff. Some stuff is healthier than others, right? I mean, you know, people who go to the gym seven days a week, twice a day, right? Like, that's there's something about that. Scott (00:15:13) - But it's like, seen socially as positive. Um, but, you know, drugs or alcohol, you know, people use work. Um, you know, when we were kids growing up, nobody ever said that. Nobody ever said, like, my husband works too much or my wife works too much. Um, that was a good thing. Now, especially with, like, the way the world's been the last three years. You're never out of work because every, you know, social, uh, like telehealth for me or, you know, everybody's got zoom meetings, everybody's got a hybrid schedule now. And that actually has its downfalls too, on both ends. Right. So like one we realized during the pandemic, people like their drive home, right? Because they weren't at work. They weren't in, in, um, uh, at their home, you know, now it's like you come out your door and boom, right back to taking care of kids. Chris (00:16:04) - That separation, I think, is big. Chris (00:16:06) - I have an office here, which is like three minutes from my house. Yeah. You know, this is where the studio is. This is my office. Um, I share it with other people, but I get to leave my house and go to work. And when I was working at home for a long time. Uh. Is too many distractions for me, even just mentally understanding that, like, all right, here I am. It's time for work. Yeah. Scott (00:16:24) - You're like or meeting gets canceled, you're folding laundry, you know, and so like that downtime that we used to use to recharge is, is kind of taken away. Chris (00:16:32) - And I think being with people and around people with a similar goal and even questions come up, you talk them through, you get answers and you get opinions immediately. I know in my in my profession that helps me close deals. It helps me run things by other people. If I made a mistake or if I'm talking to somebody, somebody says, hey, you know, maybe try this or that, right? That stuff doesn't happen at home, right? You kind of limit your learning or you limit your the community. Chris (00:16:58) - I think. Sure. Scott (00:16:58) - Almost like support and just even support just just even support, you know, and that's a really important thing I think to for people like just in life in general. Right. There's a you know, I've worked with some top 1% of, you know, performers, uh, let's call them that. Um, and there was a, uh, like a plaque in one of the break rooms that said, sit with winners. The conversations different? Yeah. And I think when you have, like, a common goal, um, may not may be different avenues of business, like in your case. Um, but when you have people with a similar mindset, you know, obviously it's, it's going to make you better. Chris (00:17:39) - Yeah. I mean, I'm surrounded in days, days in here,...
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/30082073
info_outline
The Most Valuable Lessons Learned from Real-Life Experiences with Scott Mallon
02/22/2024
The Most Valuable Lessons Learned from Real-Life Experiences with Scott Mallon
In this podcast episode, Chris and Scott Mallon explore the origins of the "Zero Degrees" brand, emphasizing the value of real-life experiences over formal education. They discuss resilience, the determination to succeed as entrepreneurs, and the concept of organized chaos. Chris shares his journey of hard work and perseverance despite financial challenges, while Scott highlights the importance of acknowledging weaknesses and learning from failures. They encourage embracing challenges and discipline, and stress the significance of small wins and maintaining routines to prevent burnout. The episode also includes personal anecdotes from their college days and the impact of supportive teachers on their growth. Follow Chris HERE! IG - @ChrisTarta Chris (00:03:13) - We're here, and, uh, Scott and I were talking. You guys remember Scott from last time? Uh, lifelong friend, licensed marriage family therapist. Where you work. Tricky health resolutions or something, and we just kill that, uh, try America. Health and wellness. That was close. Um, tricky was the name of the the name of the, uh, at the end of Arlington Ave where we grew up. Was the name of the, uh, the guitar lesson. Took one lesson there, man. I walked all the way from my house three blocks to that guitar place. I took one lesson and quit. Um. That was. That's funny how that plays into my life right now, but it is what it is. Um, anyway, we're here, we're going to actually talk about a little bit of the genesis of the Zero Degrees, uh, brand that I have and that I've made that that Scott's playing a part in, which has been awesome. Um, maybe we'll get into a few few stories, a few different, uh, anecdotes. Scott (00:04:07) - We'll see where. Yeah, we'll see where it goes. But, you know, I never really explained the thought behind this. I kind of started the Facebook group and started the, uh, the conversations. And we have a name and, um. The thought behind that there actually was thought behind that. It was for a little while, and I considered what to do and what the what my brand or movement was going to be based on, and a lot of different things played into it. But where do you want to start with that? Well, I you know, I found it like super ironic because I knew the origin of the genesis of it. And like, here I am sitting here and people wouldn't know that I have a bunch of degrees, um, and a bunch of licensure and letters after my name. And it was kind of ironic, you know, company exactly. Coming on here and, and, you know, got the background, uh, in the back, which, you know, as someone that's known, Chris, a long time, I was able to kind of make some sense out of, uh, the stuff that's up here. Chris (00:05:05) - Um, and I think it's funny because I think where, you know, we lead very different. Lives. Um, but yet there's a lot of parallels. And I thought that was, like, a good thing to maybe, you know, sort of work in there. Um, because I think, you know, you're, you're sort of mindset is go, go, go, right. Like, you thrive in chaos. You love chaos. I, I have chaos tattooed on me. But it's it's yeah. Like it was a different kind of chaos. Chaos when I was younger. But I do feel like sometimes I probably create chaos because it puts me back against the wall and helps me push. Um, probably not the healthiest way to, to to approach things, but, um, I don't know. I think, you know, in my line of work, you know, so much goes into healthy versus unhealthy. But I think if it's effective, it works. It works. Right. Chris (00:06:01) - You know, and effective. I think, you know, people fall short on like weighing what's effective. They just look at like their bottom line or their business. For me, effective is kind of like. The whole picture. You know, family, your relationships, you know. Your money, of course, is is important. You gotta like what you're doing. I think, you know, being effective and, you know, being successful is a lot bigger. Picture. Picture? Yeah. It's funny because when I was a chef for 20 years and, um. You know, I worked in restaurants growing up, and I always felt like at home when it was like yelling and screaming and pots banging and peoples, you know, there's action and there's, you know, we call it organized chaos, right? And like, you kind of got to cut through the calmness in the dining room and the communication with the servers and, you know, but you get to yell, you got to make, you know, 50 or 60 meals at once or like. Chris (00:06:56) - And there's there's no like telling when it's going to come. Right? Because it could be like a boring Sunday. And then next thing you know, you know, you're on fire. So one of the one of the craziest days I'll always remember this was 911 because I was at the restaurant and, you know, you're watching the news all day and you're like, oh, man, this is not going to be. It's just going to be a day for like, it's just sadness and like, you know, and not thinking, not forward thinking enough, realizing like, man, no one's going to want to go there. And the amount of people that came in that day. We were totally unprepared. And we ended up, you know, you run around, but that's when you make it happen. You want to know a sidebar? So, um, after nine over 11 in the New York and New Jersey area, there was a tremendous spike in pizza sales. I don't I don't know, like, why I know that. Chris (00:07:43) - Um, but, you know, pizza, I think for people was warm. It was simple comfort. It was comfort. Exactly. And so after nine over 11, people were seeking that sort of American comfort. And it's an American. No, it's not. It's an American comfort, but we've sort of adopted it. Um, so that's that's interesting that you sort of were on the where the rubber meets the road and got to witness it. But yeah, that was one of the things that we talked a lot about where I, where I find that interesting, I do because I lived through it and it was busy. It, it turned into a busy time for us. And, you know, you get a sense of like. You're helping in a way. You know, the little the little thing about cooking somebody's dinner. But, you know, if you know the nightmare of not knowing where a family member is or what's or what's going on there, and everybody felt so connected. Yeah. Chris (00:08:31) - Um, you know, being on the inside of that is, is, you know, when you think back, it's it's pretty cool to think that way. Yeah. I mean, I was on the inside. Shortly thereafter in a different way. You know, I worked for the fire department. And I know that's like one of the things that like we held on to after, it was like, we want to go back to the days and weeks and months after nine over 11, especially like in today's world where everybody is so divisive. It was such a community support. Um, you know, there was American flags everywhere. There was, you know, there's a very there's a lot of people that remember that time, as hard as it was, as sort of a very fun time to because of the unity and stuff. And I don't know that we really achieved that sense, which is sad, like, and it sucks that it takes that. Exactly. You know. But. I think unity is like so sewn in now, as is a form of, uh, fear, you know, and that's probably a whole different episode. Chris (00:09:31) - But I think that's very, very sick how that happens now. Um. Unity is not good for. The leadership. You know. Exactly. It's not you know, either side. There's no money in the cure, right? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, I just wanted to sort of go back to, you know, the zero degrees thing. So for me, I found that, like, really ironic in. You know the name of your podcast, and I don't know if people know why it's named Zero Degrees. So I came up with the idea because I have no. Degrees. Zero degrees. I didn't finish college, I. I squeaked through high school like I went to multiple different. I went to multiple colleges. Person in your high school class at Bosco to get accepted to college? I do the scholarship. Yes, I do remember that. Yeah. And? And I have no idea how that happened. I have different theories at this point, but like I do, I was they put a sign up, you know, when you get accepted, they. Chris (00:10:32) - Yeah they put your, your, your card like in this in the hall. And I was the first one there. And it was the first school that I applied to. And it was actually the school, I think I ended up going to Loyola in New Orleans and, um. I was the first one, but I was. It was really funny because I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to graduate, because I had to pull off a 70 on my pre-college math final exam, and I got a 71 or 72, which again, they probably like, get this, get them out, get them out. 71 is fine and he'll be on his way. Um, but. After high school began a, you know, kind of a spiral in the wrong direction from, for me in my life. But again, I did not accomplish graduation. Well, I got through high school, right. But it got real, you know, after high school and, um. I talk about this a lot because I think the bad experiences or the experiences that I had, I don't know if I want to call them bad or not, gave me education in life that I believe, you know, everybody gets this education, right, but I believe you can't teach these things. Chris (00:11:38) - You know, these are these are experiences that I've learned for real firsthand. And and that's what I use to I use those experiences and not lessons in school to. Give my opinion on. Right. That's my education. So it's zero degrees. That's where it came from. Um. There's going to be a lot of different things coming out about it. You know, I have big plans for, for, for the brand and for the, for the idea, but, you know, it's tagged here. I have a free group and you're welcome to join it. It's kind of, uh, recovery based is not necessarily only drugs and alcohol to any. Everybody is in some form of recovery and personal development. Yeah. I was going to say like I think that. Um, there's a lot of stuff that can be taken out of the talks. I've watched, uh, some of your interviews with, you know, Castellano and some of the other people you've had, uh. Um, education is not something that we have to necessarily formalize. Chris (00:12:34) - Right. For me. I did not want to go to college. Um, which is ironic that I went and kept going back. Um, but the way that I sort of got forced into that was my dad was like, oh, you don't want to get a college degree? No problem. Come work with me. I said, right. He was, I think, delivering milk in New York City at the time. So I'm like, what time we got to go to work? He's like, get up at like 330. I was like, what? And we went, we work. You know, the whole week we had the week off and it was in the summer, like like spring break probably. And so we had baseball practice after, and I remember coming home, my hands were bleeding. He was like, all right, get your bat. We're going to batting cages. And I'm like, fucking beat. You know what? Um, and so he made that like a I think he he didn't tell me this. Chris (00:13:22) - But knowing my father, I think he played this game where he would always get me the worst jobs for the summer that you could possibly have, um, putting in sprinkler systems and digging trenches. Hammering. Yeah. Tamping. Um, so I remember doing that. I remember I went to one, it was at the quarry and I was home on, I was in college and I had screwed up, so I was taking the summer class and he's like, I got you a job. And I showed up and the guy gives me, like, a Tyvek suit, and I had to sign a waiver. Why am I signing a waiver? And he's like, oh, because, you know, you're going to be working with cancerous material. It's like, are you fucking serious? Like. And, uh, I went home and complained to my dad's like, well, you know, if you don't want a degree, this is what you got to look forward to. Finally, fast forward. I met my first internship. Chris (00:14:10) - I worked at a federal prison that housed federal inmates and stuff like that. Um, the lab in Newark, which I don't know if you know about, but right next to it's the water treatment facility. So I show up first day and I had to sign another waiver. So he lied to me, but, uh. But it worked. Um, knowing Bob Mallon, though, like that, he definitely planned that out. You know, he that's his way to send the message. Yeah, because that's a guy that, you know, out of zero degrees, but it has worked. He's got a lot of knowledge. Yes, he has real knowledge and he's worked every day of his life. You work through you work through a stroke. Literally stayed on the job site like three days left side of his body, paralyzed and like, you know, um, stuff like that. That's a guy with full of wisdom, you know, who a lot of people probably discount, you know, like, no way. Chris (00:14:58) - How could he know, right? He knows a lot. I can remember my first day in business class, and the guy was teaching, and I asked him what businesses he ever owned. He said, I never owned a business. I never went back to that class, you know? And that was just the punk in me being like being an asshole. But like, I just didn't believe he could know that was just looking for a reason to to. Yeah, exactly to that class. Right. I think that that's the reason why now I fuck this guy. But that was like, um. Yeah, the stupid looking back. But you know, it is different what you learn in the classroom and what happens in real life. You know, especially like in the restaurant business that I, you know, I went to culinary school, almost finished that, but, uh, they asked me to leave a little, little prior to graduation, but, um, I didn't learn how to run a business. Chris (00:15:44) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very politely. He was asked to leave. I had a choice. I could go back and get escorted out or I could, I could comply. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always take the. Yeah to just leave them by yourself. Right. But um. Yeah. So that's where it came from. And this mural behind him was painted and that was painted by, uh, you know, her name was Courtney. Um. She asked me for inspiration about it, and I just talked to her about my life a little bit, and I gave her some art that I like Banksy, some of these other things. And she came up with this because, um. She used my life to make this painting behind me. And this is one of a kind, you know, encapsulates sort of organized chaos. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's me. And when I look at it, I on the bike, I used to race BMX when I was a kid, but that's me. Chris (00:16:40) - No hands. Just kind of like, let's go. We'll figure it out. You know, let's build this plane as we fly it. And I still kind of take that approach. I'm taking that approach here. Um, just sharing my opinion on stuff, you know? So that's that's what it is. Then, of course, there's the house, because I'm a realtor, then there's a Bitcoin. And I'm a big believer in crypto. But it's also like the. It's anti culture kind of thing and then go against the grain. Right. And there's the money that's on fire because of uh you know I've different views about money as well. You know it's good and bad. Um. And. The drips came from a Banksy painting where there's a little kid holding an umbrella and it's raining a rainbow. And. The kid has the umbrella and, uh, or the dad has email. The kids walking in the rain. I think I gotta look at it to remember, but it's like, you know, fuck it. Chris (00:17:34) - Like it's going to rain sometimes get wet. It's just going to happen. So like, you know. Figure out how to enjoy it or how to work through it or whatever it is, like clouds are going to show up. Yeah, like it's funny because I can relate to a lot of this stuff. I mean, I was around for a lot of the year, therefore learning lessons. Yeah. I don't know how I. Sort of skated by. But I think that's like one of the things that's committed to me. Yeah, I think that's one of the things that we've kind of shared is. We both find the. Way to get through, right? Whatever's going on with our strengths and shitload of weaknesses. Yeah. Um, I had, like, even to get through grad school. Some of the things that that I did, you know, to help me, you know, get through. I mean, I can remember the. I got straight A's in my, uh, both of my graduate courses. Chris (00:18:32) - I have two master's degrees. I got a four row and have A39. And in my other one I had, um. And I got one b. And that B was in graduate math like statistics. And I didn't I could I mean, math was never like a strong suit of mine. And, uh, I mixed up. I realized, like, I mixed, like, flip numbers on all of my problems. And so I went up to my teacher and I said, uh, I'm sorry, like, I'm dyslexic, which is a terrible thing to have done because I'm not. Uh, like, I wasn't even, like, fully serious, you know? And he's like, me too, huh? I got an automatic B+ in that class and and and again, like, not the proudest of moments, but I think it's just like one of the many where it's like, I don't know how to get out of this situation I'm in. I'm going to use like some personality skills and people skills to call that what that was. Chris (00:19:32) - Um, but always finding a way to kind of survive, um, I think has been something that like. Right, like many people get. What are we calling it? Asked to leave? Yeah, yeah. Many people get asked to leave. You know, many different places. How many are here? There's a few. Like three. Two, three. We're not really fit. Um, but many people would take those losses and just fuck it. You know, but you didn't. And I can remember when we were, you know, 24 sitting in your, uh, explorer whenever you drove back. Then you and one of our other buddies, and you were like, I got this job I really like. And I found out they're selling the restaurant, and, like, what are you going to do? And you're like, think I'm going to buy it? I was like, wait, what? Um, you're like, yeah, I think I'm going to buy it. And I remember thinking like, he's nuts. Chris (00:20:28) - Yeah. You know. Um, but you bought it and you worked it, and you built a second restaurant out of it. Um. You know, I don't think that many people can sort of stay committed. Especially like you're an entrepreneur. And that's one of the things they say about entrepreneurs. Like people give up before they succeed. Yeah. And for those of you that don't know Chris as well as I do, there's no quit. Um. At all. And Chris, even probably at times when I should quit, he should quit. Yeah. Um, you know, and it's funny because, like, I have that same thing, like, you can make me do whatever you want to do, but you're not going to make me quit something that I don't already want to quit if. And if you try to, then I'm just going to, you know, dedicate every ounce of energy I have to beating that thing. Has a lot of teachers when I was a kid. Tell me, you know. Chris (00:21:29) - I would be very much right. Um, and they were right. You know, they were right when they were talking to that 14 year old, 13 year old, 12 year old kid. Um. But what they don't know is that they fueled in me, you know, a desire to prove them wrong. Um, and I think you have that. Part of you too. Like a lot of people said, you couldn't do a lot of stuff. And, uh, that's not something you were willing to settle for. So, uh, that's the one thing is that I never I it's almost a, it probably is to an extreme, but like I don't listen, you know, like it's, it's and that's I've taken a lot of losses that way. Right. But wise people telling me that I should do this or do that, and I just couldn't see it. And I hired consultants in my restaurants and thought I knew better. And like, you know, it cost me lots of money and I made bad moves. Chris (00:22:24) - But like, I always needed to take that loss to to move to, to...
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/30072678
info_outline
How Can Addicts Overcome Triggers and Embrace Recovery? With Tony Castellano
02/22/2024
How Can Addicts Overcome Triggers and Embrace Recovery? With Tony Castellano
In this podcast episode, Chris has on Tony Castellano and they discuss his upcoming vacation to the Bahamas and his plans to enter the real estate industry. The conversation shifts to managing triggers and the importance of patience and faith in the recovery process from addiction. Tony reflects on the tragic loss of individuals to addiction and the importance of a supportive network that respects his sobriety. Tony candidly shares his past struggles with alcohol, his experience with a 12-step program, and the significance of discipline in personal growth. The episode also touches on the societal normalization of drinking, the medical use of cannabis, and the challenges of peer pressure. Tony and the unidentified speaker emphasize the need for self-compassion and the positive effects of seeking help in recovery. Follow Chris HERE! IG - @ChrisTarta Chris (00:00:10) - How are you doing? **Chris ** (00:00:12) - Two weeks. Um. I've been really, really good, you know, getting ready for this trip. And you're going on vacation, just so everybody knows, you know, recovery life. I keep telling you guys, it's a it's an unbelievable thing. Narcotics anonymous says, uh, giving me one promise and many gifts. And, you know, I'm going on another vacation, going to the Bahamas, and it's going to be good. You know, work is good, work is busy. And, you know, my next venture obviously is is after this when I come back is to go get real estate done, you know, get my license, go, go to go to school. I need to get a side hustle. So what do we do? That's exciting man, I can't wait. I know we spoke about it, man. Need help with, uh, real estate? You can be able to call Tony in about a month, probably get his license done and be ready to go. **Chris ** (00:00:54) - Yep. Um, I think that's really exciting, man. And like you just said, you know, I think we spoke about this off camera last time, but, you know, going to Bahamas was a far fetched idea for you a couple of years ago, man. And I, and I understand that couldn't go to the Jersey shore. Yeah. For a day. That's it. Literally for a day I couldn't go. I'm scared. The anxiety went overtake you. You wouldn't want to leave. You wouldn't want to go anywhere. I'd make myself get sick. Yeah. You know, um, it's crazy real quick, you know, health is wealth. Everybody. This right here. Juices will natural Carlos's bagel shop in Hawthorn. They make them. They'll juice them fresh for you. You will not be disappointed. Carlos is awesome. I grew up a house away from Carlos. It was called Andy's then, and she did. I've been to Carlos a bunch and they really kind of upped their game there, so that's that's awesome. **Chris ** (00:01:48) - So yeah, they did support local. Yes. So what you got to do what you're doing and um, forgive me, I'm trying to figure out how to share this to my, uh, to my other page here, but let's see here. Um. All right, so we when I posted yesterday about if anybody had questions for us, the first one that came up was from Stephen Copp. I don't know if he's on yet or if he's here, but he wanted to talk about triggers, which I think is a big thing for an addict, you know, and he specifically said not people's people, places and things triggers. Other than that, um, we can touch on that, but I think we can touch on all of it first, because as you're going through your day, I know for me, um, I get pissed off, I get angry. Today I woke up with a bad mindset, and for about 30 minutes I had a had to meditate and to get myself out of it. **Chris ** (00:02:38) - I read a little bit. I got down to being a little bit more present, realize that there's opportunities everywhere, and got my head in there. But I don't know, you know, I just woke up that way today and lack mindset and that happens to me a lot. It always has. But you got to fight your way through it. But like you said, you showed up here, parking lot was full. Yeah. You know, I, I, we, we, we have this thing, you know, this saying don't have any expectations because you're going to set yourself up for failure. So I've been here a few times and the parking lots pretty dead at this time. And I pull in today and it's loaded packed. And I'm like, damn, I can't park. And obviously I get a little road rage for a second, right? But obviously it's something I can't control. It's no big deal. Is it that big of a trigger? No. But is it considered a trigger? Yeah, 110%. **Chris ** (00:03:25) - And what do you do? Um, what do I do? I have to I have to think about what? My sponsor. And what my fiancé would tell me. I don't own the parking lot. I don't own the road. I can't, you know, like, whatever it is, what it is parked farther down and take the walk. Because if not, I'll sit and wait and I'll just. I'll stewing it. I didn't like it. Like like an idiot. Right myself and let my mind run. And the crazy thing is, it's a fucking 32nd walk. I have less than maybe three seconds from where I parked last night. That's that gut. That's that natural reaction that we get, where it's that. That fucking mentality or that like, like a like a baby. Almost like it didn't go my way and I want to have a tantrum, you know. Well, we're we're coming from where we come from. We've became real self-entitled. Yeah, exactly. Which is huge problem. **Chris ** (00:04:19) - What do you. Well, listen, I know you were spoiled like I was. Yeah. So self entitlement is something that was basically bred for us. It was it was you know, we were we were given that for some reason. And again I don't blame anybody. They did what they thought was right. We all do that. But it made us something different. Yeah. You know it. They didn't know that we were going to have this little disease inside of us. Nobody knew until it showed its face. So when our disease took Ahold of that, it went crazy. Right? So self entitlement, you know, selfishness, self-centeredness all about me is fucking huge. Yep. And the ungrateful one. That's one of the things that disease got me out of. It's thinking that way. Yeah. You know, and like you said before we went live and, um, you know, you get that point where it's like you think about me, me, me, me, me, but you don't understand. **Chris ** (00:05:18) - Actually giving gets you more, way more. The more you give, the more you, the more you actually receive 100%. Not only with this message. I applied in business, I applied, I tried to apply it in life. It gets that's even tougher, you know, to, to to to have that in your personal life and your personal relationships to keep continue giving and giving and giving. But it works. It's that level of reciprocation. When you give out, you get yes. And when it's positivity and when it's a good energy, you can walk in and change the energy in the whole room. But we have to remember we don't get it on our time. Uh, patience, right? Yes. This is the thing, you know, everybody wants to believe and have faith in the you know, I'll I'll receive again. The problem is, is we don't receive on our time, right. It doesn't work that way. It's received when whatever you want to call it. God, the universe seems fit for us to have. **Chris ** (00:06:16) - What we're supposed to get from it. That that brings faith in, which is hard for a lot of people to understand. It was hard for me to understand for a long time, because faith is something that you don't know is real, but you believe it anyway. You know, that's the easiest way I could explain it. And to have faith. It's it's natural to doubt it. It's natural to not understand that this is not real. This isn't going to happen. You know what? If it doesn't, this isn't that. And to have that faith that you know and you're completely confident that it's going to exist, you just don't know when and you're willing to wait for it. That's the test. Yeah. I mean, the test is, is is a tough one. You know, we look at things, we look at life. There's stuff that has happened to all sort of things that we've put ourselves through. And we always are like, wow, bro, God's tested me. You know? That's what we saw. **Chris ** (00:07:06) - Why are you doing this to me? Doesn't test us, right? Tests our faith. How faithful are we going to be and believe that it's going to pass? The feeling is going to pass the trigger aggravation is going to pass. Um, that want for what we want at that moment will pass because we will sit back. Like you said this morning, you sat back, you meditated for a moment, you got your head right. And we realize what I want is not really always what I need at that moment. Right. You know, and and it's tough because again, coming from a using background, we want what we want. You know, I'm going to call the dealer a hundred thousand times until he picks up the phone. Right. I can't call CVS Walgreens for my prescription until they tell me it's ready. How many times am I going to call? It's a business. They've got thousands and thousands and thousands of other customers that they're helping. They're not. I'm not the only customer you think you are. **Chris ** (00:08:05) - You feel like it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we think we are. I can remember waiting for a prescriptions that I got pissed off, bro. Pissed off, you know, waiting and waiting and waiting. You know, I had to be somewhere. I'm like, how could this not be, you know, throwing fits and, you know. Multiple different pharmacies. And, you know, it's a little different for shopping. It was ugly hopping and shopping. Yeah. And that's what it is that immediate gratification. I want it I want it now. And that's that's the end of the story. I'm going to figure out a way to get it. Why my body for instant gratification. Went berserk the moment that you couldn't, um, shop between multiple pharmacies the moment they put the house. Yeah, man. When the moment they put the hologram on, on the prescription is when my brain went on fire. Because I can only get one prescription from one place. And you have to wait the 30 fucking days. **Chris ** (00:09:05) - Yeah. Now, at that moment. You know, it's crazy. I'm going to tell you why. It's crazy because, yes, it was a good thing, but it was also a bad thing because that at that moment turned a lot of people to go something like heroin. Yeah. It became easier to get cheaper, to get faster, to get faster to get and, uh, you know, people die from that. Oh, look at it now, man. Look at the fact. No problem. Now, I got a I got a young kid that that just passed away. And my Wednesday meeting, uh, we found out about it last Wednesday. Young kid, 2728. You know, really good dude bro. Little wacky. You know, uh, we keep our anonymity. I don't need to name names. Little wacky, though, but a good kid, good heart. You know, like something sat inside me. Something resonated from when we had talks, you know? And he took my number. **Chris ** (00:09:54) - You know, I put it on the list, and. And he would call me on a regular basis, you know, and I would always give him suggestion and I would give him suggestion and I would give him suggestion and people, places and things all the time. Okay. This is what took him down. And it's okay because there's nothing you should do about it now. But. I told him, if you don't make this change, whatever the changes. You're not going to make it. You know, he ended up overdosing and he ended up being on life support for a few days. And then they had to pull the plug and it. And when I heard it, I was shocked for a moment. And then I was hurt. Like I kept telling my girl bro for like two, three days. I was like, this one fucking hurt me. But I was like, I actually had something inside. That I liked about him. It was just something that I saw. When you saw the demise, too. **Chris ** (00:10:45) - Yeah, man, it probably hurt more because you were right. Uh, you know, I hate to say it that way. I don't I don't want to say that I'm right. I don't want to take it like that. I want to say that the readings that I read from Anna, that we end up in jails, institutions, or death was right. In that moment, right? You know, and it's crazy, bro. Young kid with his life ahead of him and. God. God. And that's what this disease does. That's what it wants. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Chases you, man. Yeah. Um. The guy that got me really got in my mind. Really put me. That last push over. Died 8 or 9 months ago. Wow. Not maybe ten months ago. He was sober for a long time, and he kind of watched me get sober from the outside. And he always was supportive. And, uh, he's the one that got me to actually take the last step and commit to full sobriety, because, again, I said I was going to be sober except for the weed, you know? Yeah, sure. **Chris ** (00:11:50) - So, yeah, that's a lot of people's move. Right? But, um, you know. Yeah. He had a he. He had a nasty divorce. Uh, I don't want to say too much. So people don't know who he is? No, no. Sure. Like. And then he went through some other troubles, and he got remarried, but he fell back into the game. He was gone. Yeah, he got married and he died like. Well, he was gone because like they say you, you pick up right where you left off. Yeah. And that's dangerous now. Now it is. Yeah. And it doesn't matter, you know. Now now it is. You know, it's it's triggers or you know, let's go back to triggers for for Steve. Yeah. You know, triggers are everywhere. You know, if I get up in the morning and. I can't get to the gym on time. I'm triggered because I broke my fucking routine. And the crazy part is, is that I have to really realize it's life on life's terms. **Chris ** (00:12:40) - And sometimes it's going to happen. You know, I can breathe a little easier if, like, I tweak my back and I can't go. It's one thing, you know, I get a little aggravated or whatever, but whatever. But if I can't make it for some reason or like, you know, um, when I used to do pool tables with my cousins, 18 pool tables, Billy love you remember he used to post that all the time. I didn't know what you were doing with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my cousin Billy's got a pool table, a pool table company, uh, 18 pool tables. They're out of Bergen County. They do everywhere in New York, new Jersey, Connecticut, Maryland. They don't give a fuck. He'll go anywhere. Dude. It's crazy. So, you know, you have a pool table, and this guy over here is trying to buy it, so he'll call. You'll negotiate the price, he'll call us, we'll go, come to you, dismantle it. **Chris ** (00:13:18) - Boom. Bring it over there. We put it back together. You want Neufeld? Whatever. We'll do it, you know. So I remember every day we'd have to go to Long Island. And me and my cousin sound like, you know, he likes to leave early, get over the bridge early, and I wouldn't be able to go to the gym that day, and I'd be fucking eating it. Yeah, because, you know, and it's crazy because we would go get the job done, do another one on the way back, and I'd still be home by like one sometimes. Yeah. You got the whole day and I would still be able to go to the gym, but because I couldn't do my routine my way, it would fucking trigger me, bro. And I would have, like, a shit push the whole drive until finally, like, the sun would be coming up and we'd be on that long stretch. What is that 27 going to like Montauk area? And yeah, I think it's like a one road in, one road out fucking two lanes. **Chris ** (00:14:00) - It sucks. But the sun would be coming up and then. I'd start feeling different. I'd start feeling better. I'd start seeing light. I'd start, you know. My cousin Sal always loves listening to 95.5. It's a Christian station, which I have no problem with, right? You know, when certain songs would come in and it was just like your meditation, you know, just that. Sit back for a minute and just say bad. This ain't so bad. It ain't so bad, right? You know? Right. We're over thinkers a lot. That's that's our that that's this is going to be everyone's trigger. I don't care what nobody says. We are our biggest trigger. Just our mind running and projecting what's going to happen when we have no fucking clue what's going to happen, right? It's anxiety, right? I mean, it's a sense of anxiety. It's about worrying about the future when you know, you can only control what you can control your thoughts, yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your intentions. **Chris ** (00:14:57) - And that's the end of the story. Like, um, you know, um, trying to trying to grasp that as a problem. I mean, I had my, my mother was she lost jobs because of anxiety. I watched her suffer for years, man. And she was she was crippled by it. And she used, you know, the doctors prescribed it, you know, and so it seemed legit. But, yeah, you know, you think you think it's the right thing. You think it's okay. She was a drinker, but anxiety and depression, those things took her out. Um, you know, and to get a it's challenging to get control of that. But I think everybody has it to a sense, you know, like we all have. I think we all have it to a sense. I just feel we all deal with it differently. Some people can, some people can't. Some people can't stop the, the, the, the mind rush. Some people can't stop the race of the brain, you know? Um. **Chris ** (00:15:49) - I'm not a I'm medicated for so long for what I thought was recreation. But I realized was that, yeah, I was masking everything, you know, masking who I thought I was, who I everything. So, you know, I'm not a big fan of the medication portion of it, but listen, if somebody truly feels they need it. Hey, who am I to fucking judge, right? I'm nobody's. I feel the same way, though. I mean, those things will take you out. Those things. The doctor prescribes them. And you get. You become addicted. Yes. You know, you become addicted and it does. It's not a helpful thing in the end, you know? I mean, I guess for some people they manage it or they do better with it, but it's just a symptom. Solution. It's not a problem. Solution? Well, this is the thing, the problem solution. So it's funny because my girl is going to laugh right now. I love you, Jack, but she's going to laugh at me right now because I started na after doing church and I lived the steps, right? I lived the steps. **Chris ** (00:16:49) - I read the Bible like all the steps that you do to 12 steps. It's a step ladder to God. They say he got closer. I've been living these things so I would always be like, I don't need to work these, I live these. I read a book that fucking 2500 years old, 3000 years old, right? And you know, but obviously my triggers set me. Sometimes I say shit, do shit, freak out, whatever the case is. So if I want to be a better person, I need to get to the problem, right? 100%. I can't medicate, I can't just read that book and keep myself closed. If I'm going to be in an open, honest and willing program. Right? So I've had it in a sponsor because I just really, really relate to this. Dude, I love you, Pete Z. Um, pizza. You gotta come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna get pizza up here 100%. You guys are gonna love him. **Chris ** (00:17:35) - I'm telling you, he's straight out of Goodfellas. It's unbelievable. Well, you know, I called him. He said, hell yeah. Yeah. I said, Pete, listen, I love you, bro. I said, I think it's I think it's time for me to start working steps. You know, start reading them. Start doing it. You know, I think I need to become a better person, you know? And he was like, oh my God, I'd be honored. Whatever. So, you know, I did my first step the other day. He loved it. He, you know, we did it. It was great. It was awesome. And we again have breakfast at Carlos, which is so funny. But these steps, these steps are going to help me with the true problem. You know, delving in 100%. That's what they're built for, you know? And it's crazy because people say they don't do them just one time. They keep doing it because as life goes and we grow, we have...
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/30059023
info_outline
Unleashing the Power of Real Estate: Strategies for Wealth Creation with Frank Dippold
02/21/2024
Unleashing the Power of Real Estate: Strategies for Wealth Creation with Frank Dippold
In this podcast episode Chris has on Frank Dippold, a residential lending expert and founder of Velocity of Money, shares his insights on real estate and lending on the show. He discusses the importance of cash flow, the risks and rewards of property ownership, and the need for education and planning in real estate investment. Frank and Chris also explains mortgage qualifications for different employment types, alternative loan options for the self-employed, and the impact of financial difficulties on mortgage eligibility. He emphasizes the value of real estate as a wealth creator and the importance of removing emotional biases through mathematical approaches to investment. The episode is rich with advice for first-time homebuyers, current homeowners, and investors. Follow Chris HERE! IG - @christarta Follow Frank HERE! IG - @frankdippold Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - Issues will come up. You'll need a roof. You'll need a furnace. The tenant breaks up whatever it is. Appliances, 100 different things can come up. A lot of people want to buy with cash, right? They're like, I got 200 grand. I'm gonna buy a little condo and rent it. Inherited money. I earned $500,000. I'm going to put that all into a piece of real estate and leaves. You broke. Speaker 2 (00:00:15) - 100%. And the less people make, and the less people have, the more willing. It's the craziest thing I. Sometimes I yell at my customers, not in a bad way, but like, they'll throw the whole thing. Grandma told me to put 20% down. How much you got? 21%. I'm like, are you crazy? Speaker 1 (00:00:36) - What's up buddy? How's everybody doing today? Uh, snowing here, but we get through it. It's the northeast. So that's how it goes. I'm here with Frank DePaul. What's up? Frank? Um, Frank's Frank is a residential lending expert, founder of Velocity of Money. Speaker 1 (00:00:52) - And really more of, like, a like a real estate coach. Lending coach and has lots of really creative ideas on how to attack owner occupied first time homebuyer deals and is, uh, got some stuff to share with us today. So how are you doing, man? I'm good. Speaker 2 (00:01:08) - Thank you. Thanks for. Speaker 1 (00:01:08) - Having me. Yeah, I know you're living in Florida now, so you're up here just in time for the storm, and you're enjoying driving around, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um. All right, Frank, so let's start out with, uh, I always like to start with some personal development story or some mistakes you've learned in the past, and maybe have a lesson or something. Then we can get into the business and the nuts and bolts of what you do and how you can help people. Speaker 3 (00:01:29) - Mm. Speaker 2 (00:01:29) - Oh, okay. Well, there's probably a lot of them, but, uh, so. Speaker 1 (00:01:34) - We all have too many of those, if you like. Speaker 2 (00:01:36) - Yeah. I mean, you know, we could tie this to real estate a little bit, right? We're kind of the velocity money came from, which is, you know, when I started buying real estate in the 90s, I bought a house and it went up in value, and I was like, oh, that's really amazing. So I bought another one, right? And that went up in value. I'm like, wow, I'm really smart. I wasn't smart, it just went up in value, right? Right. So um, and then fast forward 2005, six seven, I had a pretty big mortgage company and I started buying real estate for the wrong reasons. I could lose 300 a month on that property because it's a cool it's a mountain in Colorado that's it's going to go up in value. Right. So America a lot of times thinks about flipping and appreciation. So I was playing a little bit of an appreciation game mistake. If you play the appreciation game, you're kind of subjected to the the whims of the market. Speaker 2 (00:02:22) - The the market could go up and down the long term. It always goes up. And I got burned. So that's where Velocity Money kind of got birthed was you always base real estate if it's an investment on cashflow, not appreciation. So I learned a valuable lesson because I make a joke. It's not funny, but I guess I got to laugh about it. I lost a half $1 million, literally, on the mountain of Crested Butte, Colorado, because I bought two properties that. It's just a long story, but it was based on this Vermont family buying the mountain, literally. And there was development and there was 400 million coming into the mountain. And then 2008 happened. All the funding got pulled. So we all, you know, we have lost. But what we teach, which I'm sure we're going to get into, is, you know, everybody's got to start with an owner occupied property, but it's all about cash flow and that pain. Right? I've gone to Harvard 11 times. Speaker 2 (00:03:19) - Right. That pain birthed the formulas that I created in the Velocity Money, which are helping a lot of people. And my goal is to help 10,000 everyday Americans retire using real estate. Um, so it was a valuable life lesson, but it was painful. Speaker 1 (00:03:34) - It's a it's a it's a good lesson. And in my experience, the best lessons are the ones when you take the loss and it really sticks with you. Um, at the end of the day, what you're saying is very important because there's a lot of people and I talk to a lot of people that actually. View real estate as that short term gain. And when you own real estate for a long time, depending on the timing, things and conditions in your life change, and if you're caught at the wrong time in the market, you take a loss and a lot of that is out of your control. Yeah, the last three years have put a lot of false hope into actual appreciation of real estate. It's not usual. This is not normal. Speaker 1 (00:04:10) - And at some point it pulls back. Flip to the buyer's market. Who knows how long that stays. We've been waiting for the seller's market to stop for, you know, a year or two years now. Um, and it shows no signs of slowing down. In a matter of fact, I think it's going to appreciate again this year, uh, just based on the conditions, but. To understand that that is possible in real estate. When you're speculating like that is a big lesson and it's you got to look at that with clear eyes, especially if you're an investor. Mhm. Yeah. Um like anything else. Right. Like any other investment. Speaker 2 (00:04:41) - Well I ask, I ask people at my seminars or when I coach them. Is real estate an asset or a liability. And it's a trick question. Yeah. The answer is it's both. Right. Because our owner occupied property that we live in. Is a liability. It costs us money. We have to go to work to pay that mortgage. Speaker 2 (00:04:59) - Or if it's paid off, we still have to pay the property taxes. It's an asset if it spits off income. Right. So, you know, Robert Kiyosaki talks about when our passive investments outweigh our bills at home. That's the definition of wealth. So if I had three pieces of real estate or 5 million in stock, and that money makes me a half a million a year, or my bills at home or a quarter million a year, I'm rich because I don't have to show up at work to pay my bills. So when I ask. Husbands and wives that question. There's usually two answers, right. There's an and they start arguing with each other. Which is which is which is great because I want to train their mentality that, you know, look, if you have equity in your home, that's not an asset either, unless you do something with it. So I always say you have money buried in your backyard. So America has that now, right? And what a gold mine. Speaker 2 (00:05:55) - Like one of my little posts that I just put out last week was. Is your equity killing your retirement? Like what? What's this guy talking about? If it's buried under the swingset, it's not doing anything for us. If you and I were 23 years old and somebody said to us, hey, you could buy a real estate for 100% financing, would you do it? Oh, and by the way, it's going to have cash flow and someone else is going to pay it off for you. Would you do that? Of course we would do it. Well, a lot of people in New York and New Jersey and Florida and other places that that we do business have that much equity where they could take it out and buy more real estate and secure their retirement. They just they think it feels good to keep it buried in the backyard. So part of my thing is psychology, right? I did the Tony Robbins stuff. It seems like 100 years ago already. I think I was like 27 years old. Speaker 2 (00:06:42) - Um, you're an early adopter. Yeah. Yeah. It was. Yeah. My my kids don't believe that I walked on hot coals. They're like, no, you didn't. I'm like, no, no, I really did. I walked on hot cold. But um, it's mindset, right? It's let's let's look at our pie chart. And if you know, we'll talk about first time homebuyers too. But right now we're sort of in the existing client base with equity in their home. If, if we look at somebody's pie chart and 80% or 90% of their net worth is in equity in their home, they're not in a great spot. It's it's great that they have equity in their home, but they need some liquidity. Right. And that liquidity can create some wealth in the future. So that's the stuff I love talking about. Speaker 1 (00:07:22) - Yeah. The equity, um, I look at it as whatever that number is, that person has an equity is really invested in the real estate market. Speaker 1 (00:07:30) - Right. It's it's it's it's. Part of the swings of the market, you could lose 10%. You could lose 15% of that. You know, how fast did things happen in 2008 and 2009 happened fast. I was I was in the I had a I had a multifamily home and uh. We chose to move at that time. And I took a beating, you know, I took a beating, and I. I never understood how it could really affect you until I saw the numbers and actually until I saw what I paid the realtor. And that's when I started thinking about it. I should be a realtor. Speaker 4 (00:08:01) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (00:08:02) - Um, but exactly. That's exactly right. That is an investment. It's not sitting there 100% safe, shielded from anything. And you can use that. Like you said, use that equity and put it to work. Right. You know, 100% you. Speaker 2 (00:08:14) - And that's the and that's the cash flow part too. So there was a guy, there's a guy who owns a very big mortgage coaching organization. Speaker 2 (00:08:22) - And I lost a little bit of respect for him when at some point in his seminars he said. When my properties went down in value, I just accepted the beating. I sold them and I'm like. If you base it on cash flow only. Right. The other thing I teach is use the banks money to buy the property. Use the tenants money to pay off the property. Right? Then we're going to get a paid off in 15 or 20 years and put it in a trust for our kids, for generational wealth. So I don't necessarily want them to sell the properties. And the point is, if it has the cash flow from day one. Who cares if it goes up 20 grand or down 30 grand? We're keeping the property. And if you look at historical values of real estate every 18 years in America, real estate doubles. It's about a 3.7% gain year over year, right? The only seven year period in America where real estate actually went down in value was 2006 to 2013. Speaker 2 (00:09:18) - But then obviously look what look what's happened now. So. So it's like it's like I have a business, right? Let's say you and I own a business together and our business is putting. 150 grand a year in our pockets each. And that's all we care about because we need, you know, we need that income. And one year, the business is worth a million bucks, the next year the business worth 800 grand. But if we really never plan on selling it, we don't really care, right? Right. That's the same thing with this real estate. We don't really care. So part of the problem with America and why I'm so passionate about this is they don't really have. They don't really have a long term goal with real estate. They buy it because they think they're supposed to buy it. And well, what am I doing with it? My my flipping it? Am I keeping it for three years, five years, ten years? So I'm like, hey, it starts with the first time homebuyer. Speaker 2 (00:10:08) - We trademarked three products that shows first time homebuyers how to buy multiple pieces of real estate for very little money. And then turn into investments. But if you're already owning a home, like we said, the equity turns into more real estate. We. I show them the plan. The plan is we're going to get the sucker paid off in 15 or 20 years, and we're going to have 12 to 15,000 a month in cash flow on our real estate. And then I show them the math on what's going to happen generationally. And then they go nuts like, oh my gosh, why? Why isn't everybody do this? I'm like, I don't know. Everybody should do it. Speaker 1 (00:10:47) - There's people who are nervous about owning real estate. And I know when I was a landlord, I did not enjoy it. I took I had issues with with the property. The tenants were actually pretty good, but I went a long stretch with no renter there. And that crushed me at the time. Yeah. Um. Speaker 1 (00:11:05) - What do you say about something like that, a situation like that, you know, because these these when you're invested in real estate, you have these risks. Yes. Um. Rent markets go up and down. Renters are not qualified. Renters lose their job. Is there a shield for that or is there not a shield for that? And that's just the risk you need to accept. Speaker 2 (00:11:23) - Well, the kind of both I mean, you know, new Jersey strong, New York is strong. Um, rents are going crazy right now. There's a housing shortage, especially because a lot of people from Manhattan want to live in the suburbs since Covid. Um, and what I tell people is it's all about liquidity. So everybody falls in love with the idea of equity. And they and they leave themselves no liquidity. Like, especially you and I both deal with builders, flippers, real estate investors, and they live and die by the 1 or 2 deals they're doing. It's like, well, I paid 400 cash, I did 150,000 on renovations. Speaker 2 (00:11:56) - And I'm like, well, what's your total liquidity? Well, I got 700 grand. I'm like, all right, you're doing great. And you just buried 95% of it into one deal. What are you, crazy? Like get a loan for 3 or 400? Maybe that allows you to do two deals at once, but keep 150 liquid so you don't. Speaker 1 (00:12:11) - Have that. Speaker 2 (00:12:11) - Issue. Have that issue. So when people buy real estate, the hardest is the beginning, right? So the trademark products is, um, you know, you buy a single family or multifamily, you live it at one year and then you move out and you buy another one. I tell people for the first year, you're not throwing any extra money towards the mortgage. You're creating an escrow account. Right? That's what they don't do. We and I've made these mistakes. We use the money we get from the properties for income and to pay our lifestyle. But if we if we're like, okay, this real estate is a separate business, I can't touch it. Speaker 2 (00:12:44) - Hopefully you know that that that happens and say the property is making 800 a month. Okay, that's $9,600 that you could put away in the first year and just put an escrow account right now in year two. I want them to take 50% of the profit, pay towards the mortgage, because I'm going to show them how it's going to shave ten years. It's literally going to go from a 30 to a 20. Always take a 30 year fixed, but pay it off sooner then the other 50% is for repairs and issues, right? The first 2 to 3 years are critical because if they really focus and save the money, they're going to be okay to weather the storm. The wealth that gets created from owning real estate is much greater than my charts even show, because my charts are conservative on purpose. Because I don't want people to be like, oh, he's selling a dream. No, I'm actually giving you the conservative numbers. It's going to be better than that. And so that's that's what we have to do is put it away, be disciplined, put it in an escrow account, grow the money that way, and over time they'll be plenty of money there. Speaker 2 (00:13:47) - It's the beginning and it's. And I've done like I said, I've done this too, where we're mixing our real estate profits into our maybe real estate business or our bills at home. And by keeping it separate and having those disciplines, it helps create the liquidity that keeps people safer. Right. Speaker 1 (00:14:02) - Gotcha. Yeah. You have to have that security blanket kind of thing. Um. That's a smart way to look at it, because. Issues will come up. You'll need a roof. You'll need a furnace. The tenant breaks something. Whatever it is, appliances, 100 different things can come up. And I like what you touched on too, because a lot of people want to buy with cash, right? They're like, I got 200 grand. I'm going to buy a little condo and rent it. I got crazy, I inherited money, I earned $500,000. I'm going to put that all into a piece of real estate and leaves. You broke. Speaker 2 (00:14:31) - 100%. And the less people make and the less people have, the more willing. Speaker 2 (00:14:37) - It's the craziest thing. Sometimes I yell at my customers. Not in a bad way, but like, they'll throw the whole thing like I won't. Grandma told me to put 20% down. How much you got? 21%. I'm like, what, are you crazy? Like, the roof is going to go like you're going to. And oh, by the way, you could put 10% down, buy out the mortgage insurance, get a quarter better on the rate because if the loans insured the rates a little better, you don't even have it monthly. You get rid of it. I keep 10% in your pocket. You have the liquidity, and your payment is like 100 bucks more than it would have been before. Like so, so strategies like that. You know, and it's not America's fault, right? Nobody's educated. Everyone's like. And one of the other reasons why, you know, we'll talk about the velocity money stuff and how the, you know, the agent partner program ties into, you know, my marketing company and all this stuff is I created a first time homebuyer series that is literally free when it's any of my Realtors clients. Speaker 2 (00:15:33) - And nationally, I sell it for $279. Very inexpensive. It's nine different modules of just teaching people how to buy their first home, because it's a very fragmented, you know, they call you up and you're like, hey, use my mortgage guy. All right, call Frank. And, um, okay, let me get your documents. This isn't me. This is how other people do it. Give me your pay stub. Give me your W-2. I'll give you six and a half. Okay, great. And then they they they they're literally holding their breath, hoping that when you find them in the house, they're going to get approved. There's no education. It's just transactional. A lot of the mortgage people don't care about the clients. We go out of our way. And that's why I did the series, because sometimes I'm having a bad day or whatever, and I don't have two hours to sit there and train every single person. Speaker 1 (00:16:16) - So one by one. Speaker 2 (00:16:17) - Take the videos. Do it at your leisure. Speaker 2 (00:16:20) - Right. And then come back to me. And now we're a little bit speaking the same language. Even one of the modules is how to understand a loan estimate. Every single time a client gets a loan estimate, they freak out. Why? Because. S grows five months. Things are, you know, inflated. So, you know, it's things like that that we're trying to educate people. And once people get educated, they feel more secure....
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/30025698
info_outline
How Will the Workforce & Earning Money Change in the Next 10-15 Years? With Jordan Rolband
02/21/2024
How Will the Workforce & Earning Money Change in the Next 10-15 Years? With Jordan Rolband
In this podcast episode, Chris has on Jordan Rolband explore the dynamic world of digital marketing and entrepreneurship. They discuss the necessity of adaptability and hard work for success, the evolving platforms like TikTok and Amazon, and the importance of choosing a career path that aligns with one's skills. The guys also reflect on the future of the workforce, the value of learning from different generations, and the misconceptions about ease in business. The conversation covers the impact of technology changes like Google's updates and iOS 14 on marketing strategies, emphasizing the need for a solid understanding of marketing fundamentals and a willingness to adapt to industry changes. They conclude with plans to further discuss the psychology of digital marketing in a future episode. Follow Chris HERE! IG - @christarta Follow Jordan HERE! IG - @iamjrol TRANSCRIPT Jordan (00:00:00) - I will change things and where we're going to be in the next 10 to 15 years, like the workforce will be very different, and the way that people earn money will be very different. I look at what the 20 year olds are doing is there's still things you can learn from someone older, right? Like there's always knowledge there. But on the other hand, they're not going to teach you any of the new tricks because they don't understand the new tricks. It's interesting, maybe that a sense of. Chris (00:00:22) - Ease, maybe things are easier, they seem easier to them, and they really are. Because, you know, when you hit the the real world or the business world, all those tools will help you, right? But it comes down to the fact is, you still have to put the work in. We love everybody alive here today. We're with Jordan Roll Band. Uh, guy I'm proud to call a friend. Was a client. Met him as a client. We actually sold his family's house, I guess. Chris (00:00:54) - Was that six years ago now? Jordan (00:00:56) - Six years ago. Yeah. Man. Chris (00:00:57) - Um, we share our office now, and, uh, you know, I get a kind of a peek into what he does for a living, and, um, it's fascinating to me, and, uh, he's got some great opinions on different things, and we're just going to kind of chop it up on, uh, on, uh, life entrepreneurship and, uh, you know, what goes on. So, uh, what's. Jordan (00:01:15) - Up, George? Strong opinions in some case. Chris (00:01:16) - Well, I love that's the thing I love, man, is that there's always clarity around when I, when I ask you shit, there's a clear opinion and a defined reason for it, which is, is, uh, not everybody has that or not. Everybody wants to say that or be honest about their opinions all the time. Jordan (00:01:31) - Oh, yeah. No. Definitely not. I mean, you know, I think when you. Jordan (00:01:36) - So anyway. Hey, Chris. Thanks for having me on. Sure, man. Yes. It's nice to, uh, it's nice to be in the podcast room of the office that we share, because I've actually never sat in here before. Chris (00:01:48) - Right. Make a call or two and that's it, right? Jordan (00:01:50) - Yeah. Yeah. Basically. Right. It hasn't been on a on a hot mic or anything like that. It's just been making calls. And, you know, I watched the, uh, you know, the work in progress here. Um, so it's, it's come out very nice. So we're happy to be here. Chris (00:02:03) - Yeah, yeah. Thank you man. Thanks for coming on. I look forward to this being like a regular thing because I think, uh, there'll be stuff to talk about that people will like when they get to know us a little more. Jordan (00:02:13) - Yeah. For sure. Chris (00:02:14) - Um, so what's been going on, man? I know that, uh, you've been traveling lately. Chris (00:02:19) - It's a new year. Uh, your business is is is busy. It's booming. It seems that way. From the outside, you're always kind of managing stuff, which to me, is is pretty, pretty fascinating to see how it goes when you have, you know, over 100 employees all over the globe and product and things like that for you guys that you don't know. Jordan is, um, he's in e-commerce and digital marketing. I think the bulk of your business is e-commerce, right? Jordan (00:02:43) - Yeah. I mean, basically it's, um, you know, I'd call it like performance e-comm. Right, right. I mean, that's sort of how we label it at this point. So I've been in the performance marketing industry for, uh, for the last 16 years. Okay. And for those that don't know, performance marketing is basically what we call like cost per acquisition marketing. Right? So CPA. Chris (00:03:02) - CPA all the time. Jordan (00:03:02) - So for example, you know, if someone has a physical product, pair of headphones, um, they want to sell those headphones, they could come to us, they could come to us simply and just say like, look, I've got these headphones, I've already got a page built out. Jordan (00:03:17) - Can you guys buy media for me and help me acquire customers? Or they could come to us and say, look, I've got this idea for these headphones, but I need creatives built out. I need, uh, marketing funnels built out. Um, do you have anyone that can do, uh, logistics for me, a customer service, you know, full, full really like full soup to nuts in terms of, like, being able to put the pieces together for me to be able to sell products on the, on the internet. Chris (00:03:42) - I feel like a lot, a lot of people, if they're watching, have probably seen your marketing and don't don't, don't realize it. You know, I see some of the products that you sell and some of them are big stuff, you know? Yeah, I. Jordan (00:03:52) - Mean, we've been selling products on the internet now, um, for the last ten years. And so it's, you know, it's been a fun journey. I mean, prior to that, I was working on a lot of lead gen campaigns, which we still do a little bit of today. Jordan (00:04:04) - Right? So like driving leads for, you know, Medicare or health insurance providers, auto insurance, mortgage, etc.. Um, but the bulk of my business has been in e-commerce, and I am, I would say, with 100% certainty for anybody listening right now, they have seen our products selling on one platform or the other. Uh, we're pretty agnostic in the way that we look at the platforms. And when I say platform, like the marketing platform. So meta, an Instagram, Google, um, native marketing, which would be like there's two big companies called Taboola and Outbrain, and that's basically working out deals with companies like MSN or the weather.com, where you can get distribution on those platforms. And then obviously the big one that everybody's thinking about right now, that's at least for for e-commerce, is just starting to work, which is TikTok. Right? And, um, you know, TikTok is interesting because, you know, everyone's been on TikTok now for the last 3 or 4 years, right? Like that's when TikTok really started to grow. Jordan (00:05:04) - And to take a step back, I was probably one of the first people buying media on Facebook back in like 2008. I mean, there was a couple guys before me, of course, but I was certainly very early there. And when I think back to the way that Facebook started and the types of products that you would see on Facebook selling, most of them were smaller lead gen type campaigns, right? So auto insurance and at that time, this was like when the economy was going through some crazy stuff. So you would see like loan modifications, debt settlement, there wasn't anything really transactional based, meaning there wasn't anybody selling physical goods or products on Facebook. Obviously. Fast forward today to today, and there's a very healthy mix of, you know, people that are driving lead generation campaigns and products that are actually selling on the platform. And if I look at TikTok, TikTok sort of started the same way. Everything was very lead gen focused for many years. And I'd say over the last 4 to 6 months I've seen a transition happening. Jordan (00:06:06) - Part of that's probably because of TikTok shops. But I think also now the audience that has lived on Facebook for many years is also now on Facebook. And this is a bit of the older demographic that is used to buying things off of social media, especially when they see things where it's just a quick scroll through, right? Like flash items. Wow, I really need this. An impulse buy, right? They're finding their way onto TikTok, right? And that will definitely change the way that the platform interacts with its customer. Chris (00:06:36) - So do you see TikTok as like huge growth coming? It's a place to be where if you're going to be marketing or if you want to create content, is that place for to plan on for the next. I mean, look. Jordan (00:06:46) - It's it's already happened, right? So I wouldn't say it's like, yeah, this is going to be the place to be. People are there. People are making money on TikTok. Creators are making money on TikTok. So that's already happening. Jordan (00:06:56) - But I think for for businesses like myself and other performance based businesses, there will be opportunities there because there's sort of two sets of media buyers that we look at. Right. There's the first set that I sort of would describe as like a classical traditional media buyer. They're essentially just placing ads on platforms. They're getting people to especially like impulse buyers or people that are just filling out all kinds of forms. They get people to stop. They get them to read their information really quickly in that ad. They get them to fill out some kind of form, and there's an action taken. Right. And this is like very traditional media buying. Then you've got all these content creators, right? And there's so many creators out there right now. And I think there's many creators that have done a very good job at figuring out how to monetize themselves. But there's way more that haven't really figured out how to actually make money online. Right. And so they're making all this content and they've got a good following, but they're not making a lot of money. Jordan (00:07:53) - Right. Maybe people think they are. But I mean, for those of us that like, know and understand the inner workings and the behind the scenes, they're just not right, but they're figuring it out. And so they also now become sort of a form of a media buyer. Right? They're the way that they promote themselves is different. The medium is slightly different. But the reality is, is that their content at some point becomes transactional, if that makes sense. Chris (00:08:20) - Yeah, that's the goal, right? I mean, you want to get to the point where you're, I don't know, selling your products, selling your digital products or whatever it is on these platforms. And I think there's a huge market for that. I know I'm a buyer on all these platforms, you know. Jordan (00:08:31) - I mean, to some extent we all are. Yeah, right. And people always ask me, they're like, well, why would I buy something off Facebook if I could just go to Amazon? Right. Jordan (00:08:40) - Like it's a question I get all the time and it's like, well, why not? Chris (00:08:44) - Like, well, I go to Amazon if you're on Facebook and, you know, like like if. Jordan (00:08:47) - You're buying based on whatever platform you're on, right? And there's there's obviously very different buying behavior. Right. And so there is this impulse buyer. And these are people like yourself to some extent myself you're scrolling through at night or in the middle of the day. You have a quick break. You see something that looks pretty cool, you're engaged with it, and you're like, I'm going to buy that, right? And you buy it right. And that's very different than someone that's going to Amazon with the intent of looking for something specific to buy at a particular time. Chris (00:09:15) - And that's where the marketing comes in. Jordan (00:09:17) - And that's where the that's exactly where the marketing comes in. Chris (00:09:19) - Right. If you can get that, I don't know. What is it. Half a second. You got to get about two seconds. Jordan (00:09:24) - Right. So you get about two seconds. You get you you grab somebody's attention and either they're a buyer or they're not. Right. And there's, you know, there are metrics that are used to really determine whether that person is a serious buyer or not. And what their intent is, but it's very different than, than, again, someone that's going to Amazon or even doing like a Google search where they're looking for something very specific and it does something. And it doesn't mean when you go to Amazon like you, you know, you go to Amazon sort of the way you're like in a grocery store. You go with the intention of buying five things and you walk out with 15, right? So Amazon works in the same way because they've done a good job. But a lot of what Amazon has used over the years, their tactics have really come from my world. Right. Like I remember when I first started the tactics of like upselling and bundling. I mean, this is things that marketers have been using for years. Jordan (00:10:11) - It's nothing new. It's just Amazon figured out a way to do it in a more impactful way, in the sense that they were able to keep everybody on platform. Right? Right. Whereas like with Facebook or TikTok, not everything is on platform. The sellers are distributed, meaning they're not they're not all working through the same ecosystem. Right. If you think of Amazon as like an ecosystem, they're very distributed and therefore they're buying different things at different times, at different moments. Right. And it's very much like one off purchases. Chris (00:10:42) - Yeah. I go to like for instance, I'll use Amazon or Google. Like when I'm shopping for something, I have an idea, like I want something, I need a shirt, or I need a pair of shoes or whatever it is, I'm looking for the other ones, I'm just scrolling or I'm looking for something and it pops up and it's like shit. Like I need, I need this. Like, as a matter of fact, I walk past the table in our office all the time. Chris (00:11:00) - And you have those foot detoxifying. Yeah, I bought those two years ago. I had Instagram, you know, I'm like, I fucking bought it from Jordan, you know? Jordan (00:11:08) - Yeah I don't there might have been hours you know not sure but yeah but yeah. Chris (00:11:12) - Yeah. And you know and and and I got them and I'm like oh these things are awesome. They must be working you know and I and you buy it again or you get the email or the funnel starts hitting you, you know. And and that's the that's how you captivate people and keep them in your ecosystem then. Right. Jordan (00:11:27) - Very different than like the Amazon process. Right? Yeah. It's very different. Um, I think, you know, for product owners. Right. And, you know, I don't know if our intention was. Talk about like products today. But like as a product owner, you know, like when you really win because the ecosystems are also very different. Right. Like so if you think of Amazon on one side of the ecosystem and then sort of like a funnel or a Shopify on the other side. Jordan (00:11:50) - You go to a conference or events. There are very few people that play in both worlds. Oh really? Right. It's really weird actually. But the reality is, is that those that figure out how to live within both ecosystems, those are the ones that really win right at the end of the day, because Amazon can fuel your DTC business, as your DTC business can fuel Amazon. And if you figure out both, you have more margin to play with. It creates a competitive advantage. Obviously, you have more eyeballs and now you win. And it's not to say you can't be successful just selling on Shopify or just selling on Amazon, but when you figure out how to do both. It moves your business to a different level. Chris (00:12:30) - What do you think? What's the opinion on like why some people, uh. Jordan (00:12:34) - Don't. Bandwidth. It's bandwidth. Right? I mean, if you build it, you have to build a team. And the reality is the skill sets are very different across all platforms. Jordan (00:12:43) - Right? And again, when you start thinking of each one as its its own separate ecosystem, like it's, you know, can you figure out the crossover between going from Shopify to Amazon or vice versa? How much work is required? Do you have the team to actually do it? The skills, expertise, knowledge, etc. to be successful and win there? Because the you know, the other reality is if you're not successful, you could launch a campaign or you could try to set up something on Amazon. You could either waste a lot of time or money, or just effort in general, into trying to build something that you're not successful with because there's somebody that understands it better than you and therefore they win. Right. And the same could be said with Shopify. Like, not all Shopify sites are created equal. And for the hundreds of thousands of Shopify stores that exist, you know, there's a very small amount of them that are actually really successful. Right? So I know tons of people that sell on Shopify. Jordan (00:13:36) - I also know tons of people that I understand the inner workings of their business who are out promoting on social media, who are like, yeah, I'm on Shopify crushing it. It's like, all right, you got like a $200,000 business here. Like, that's not really what I would say is crushing you, right? Right. But. But they want everyone to believe that they've got this like massively robust, easy to run business. Well, that's. Chris (00:13:59) - The whole thing with social media, right? People put that, that, that out there and it's maybe not the reality. Like I have an 11 year old daughter, she wants to start a Shopify store. She's drawing a clothing brand. She has designs, she has logos that she's drawn. And I'm like, look, you know, like we can play around, we can figure it out. I think it's a great lesson in entrepreneurship. It's a great lesson for her to learn and being in business and how things work. But I definitely have to explain to her, like, look, you don't get to go on Shopify and all of a sudden checks start showing up at the door. Chris (00:14:29) - You know, I mean. Jordan (00:14:30) - I guess you could be really lucky and that could happen, right? But that's few and far between. And the reality is, is that the people that that generally happens for is people that have massive influence to begin with. Right? Right. So I mean, if the Kardashians, they want to set up something, something on Shopify or really anywhere, they're going to be successful just based on their following. Right? And there are those stories, but that is not most people. And that that's not what typically happens. Chris (00:14:55) - Just what's talked about most. Yeah, I. Jordan (00:14:56) - Mean, I mean, you and I have had a lot of these, you know, a lot of these conversations over the last year sitting here. And I mean, I'm not the guy that you would come to and say, what do you think of the the four hour work day? Chris (00:15:07) - Yeah, I. Jordan (00:15:08) - I don't believe in that. I don't believe in this whole like everyone is now talking about. Jordan (00:15:12) - Is there a potential for like a, you know, a four day work week. Yeah. If you if you want to be a very average person, then sure, there's potential to do anything. You could work twice a week. You can probably be average, but if you want to be a high performer, in my opinion, right. My opinion, you've got to put the work in. Chris (00:15:29) - I've had this conversation with people, um, in my world, and it's like, you...
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/30035713
info_outline
Recovery Community: The Power of Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery with Tony Castellano
02/14/2024
Recovery Community: The Power of Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery with Tony Castellano
On this episode of Zero Degree Podcast Chris has on Jersey's own Tony Castellano. Tony is a highly respected figure within the recovery community, boasting over thirty years of experience aiding individuals in overcoming addiction. His personal battle with addiction and subsequent journey to sobriety have profoundly influenced his perspective on the subject, underscoring the daily challenges and unwavering commitment required to maintain sobriety. Tony firmly believes in the transformative power of sharing personal experiences and employing effective communication to support others along their recovery path. He emphasizes the importance of seeking assistance and making the conscious decision each day to prioritize sobriety. While acknowledging that addiction demands lifelong dedication, Tony encourages individuals to focus on the present moment and refrain from fixating on the uncertainties of the future, reminding them of their innate ability to choose a path towards healing. Tony's unwavering dedication to his own recovery journey and his steadfast commitment to mentoring others establish him as a priceless asset within the addiction and recovery community. Follow Chris HERE! IG - 00:12:35) The Power of Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery (00:16:55) Chasing Recovery: Overcoming Addiction's Constant Void (00:20:09) Balancing Well-being for a Transformed Life (00:29:08) The Battle Against Addiction and Judgment (00:29:45) The Power of Support in Recovery (00:32:08) The Daily Battle for Sobriety and Growth (00:35:59) Transforming Relationships Through Gratitude and Support (00:42:32) The Devastating Impact of Fentanyl-Laced Drugs (00:48:03) Addressing the Root Causes of Addiction (00:48:40) Bible-Based Recovery Program with Rapid Results (00:53:06) One Year of Sobriety: A Courageous Move (01:18:52) The Impact of Substance Abuse on Self-Awareness (01:24:39) The Transformative Power of Family Support (01:25:19) The Ripple Effect of Addiction (01:25:30) Multigenerational Nature of Addiction and its Impact
/episode/index/show/edbe16e3-cefe-4b7b-b16f-abe0c015a79d/id/29988088