ADHD in the Real World
Welcome to ADHD in the Real World, the podcast where we cut through the fluff and get down to the nitty-gritty of thriving with ADHD. Hosted by the no-nonsense Martha Hoffman, this show is your go-to resource for real, actionable strategies that make a difference. Whether you have ADHD or love someone who does, we dive into practical tips for daily life, family dynamics, and support. We tackle how invisible labor and mental load relate to ADHD and get to no-nonsense advice that works. Let’s make the real world work for us. Find Martha on Instagram and Tiktok @marthahoffmancoaching
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15. From Chores to Care: A Conversation with Lori Sugarman Li
05/23/2025
15. From Chores to Care: A Conversation with Lori Sugarman Li
In this powerful episode, Martha sits down with Lori Sugarman Li; Fair Play Facilitator, family coach, and author of Our Home: The Love, Work, and Heart of Family. They talk about the often invisible and undervalued labor that keeps households running. Lori shares the story behind her children’s book, a beautiful tool designed to spark conversations about equity, contribution, and care within families. The conversation dives deep into Lori’s journey from a career in marketing to full-time caregiving, the culture shock of moving from Canada’s year-long parental leave to the U.S., and a pivotal moment when an insurance rep dismissed her value as “just a housewife.” That experience sparked Lori’s mission to reframe domestic labor as essential, valuable, and worthy of pride...not just for women, but for the entire family unit. Martha and Lori explore why picture books remain powerful conversation starters at any age, how family values and neurodiverse needs shape household dynamics, and how shifting our language, from "chores" and "helping" to "contributing" and "trusting"...can create a more equitable, empowering home. They also touch on real-life strategies for fostering independence, using Fair Play with kids, and embracing imperfection along the way. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, educator, or someone rethinking how your household runs, this episode is a must-listen reminder that the heart of home deserves to be seen, shared, and celebrated. Connect with Lori: Instagram: LinkedIn: Book: Our Home – Available wherever books are sold Let me know if you want a shorter version for your podcast platform or a caption for social media.
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14. Before, During & Aftercare for Work Travel with ADHD
04/11/2025
14. Before, During & Aftercare for Work Travel with ADHD
In this episode, I break down how I support myself before, during, and after traveling for work—especially when attending conferences. Fresh off a recent trip, I’m sharing what helps me not just survive professional development experiences, but actually enjoy them, get what I need from them, and avoid total burnout. As someone with ADHD who used to lead professional development for others, I’ve picked up a lot of tools along the way. Whether it’s how I prep for travel, navigate sensory overload, or build in recovery time, this episode is full of real-life strategies for taking care of your future self. What I cover: 🧳 Before care: prepping my body, mind, and bags (hydration, nutrition, sleep, CBD, packing tips) 👟 During care: finding quiet spaces, managing sensory overload, intentional socializing, and planned solo time ✈️ After care: the power of a buffer day, post-conference processing, and setting yourself up for a smoother re-entry into everyday life If you’ve ever come home from a work trip feeling totally fried (and like you didn’t retain anything), this one’s for you. Who this episode is for: Folks with ADHD who travel for work Anyone feeling overstimulated by conferences or networking People looking to actually get something out of professional development
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13. Rethinking Money: ADHD, Shame, and Financial Freedom with Keina Newell
03/26/2025
13. Rethinking Money: ADHD, Shame, and Financial Freedom with Keina Newell
Money can feel overwhelming, especially when you have ADHD. In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and money coach, Keina Newell of Wealth Over Now, to talk about how we can break free from shame, make peace with our spending, and build a future that supports our needs—without giving up the things that bring us joy. We explore: Why thinking about "future you" is so hard with ADHD The role of shame in financial decision-making Practical steps to start managing money without overwhelm How small, messy progress is better than waiting for the "perfect" time Keina shares how she helped me shift my mindset and create financial habits that actually work for my ADHD brain. Whether you've struggled with budgeting, impulsive spending, or just avoiding money talk altogether, this episode will leave you feeling empowered to take action—one step at a time. Listen now and start taking control of your money without the drama!
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12. Navigating Domestic Inequity, ADHD, and Mental Load with Paige Connell
02/13/2025
12. Navigating Domestic Inequity, ADHD, and Mental Load with Paige Connell
In this episode, Martha Hoffman speaks with Paige Connell, a working mom of four and a content creator who explores critical topics like the mental load in parenthood, domestic inequities, and systemic challenges such as affordable childcare and paid parental leave. They dive into the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and families, including how ADHD impacts domestic dynamics and parenting. Martha and Paige share personal stories, thoughtful strategies, and valuable insights on navigating household responsibilities with equity—not equality. They discuss how to support without enabling, redefine productivity and rest, and create healthy, sustainable family dynamics. If you're a parent, partner, or anyone seeking practical advice on domestic balance, this conversation offers both compassion and actionable wisdom.
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11. Mental Load and ADHD with Zach Watson
01/10/2025
11. Mental Load and ADHD with Zach Watson
In this episode, we explore the intersection of ADHD and the mental load in relationships, uncovering the hidden costs of imbalance and how societal norms often add to the strain. Drawing on years of teaching experience, we discuss strategies to engage interest-based brains and tackle resistant behaviors—whether with middle schoolers or partners. We dive into how gamifying emotional labor can help ADHD brains build lasting habits, why unlearning outdated gender roles is crucial, and the difference between skill and will when addressing mental load challenges. This conversation is packed with practical tools and real-life examples for anyone navigating ADHD or seeking balance in their partnerships. Whether you're managing ADHD in your own life, supporting a partner with ADHD, or striving for a more equitable division of labor, this episode offers insights to help you take the next step.
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10. Fair Play and ADHD – A Game Changer for Home and Family
11/26/2024
10. Fair Play and ADHD – A Game Changer for Home and Family
I can’t believe it took me 10 episodes to talk about Fair Play! This system, based on Eve Rodsky’s book, has been a game changer for my family and my work. In this episode, I break down how the Fair Play Method helps partners create more equitable systems for managing home and family life—especially when ADHD is part of the equation. Here’s what you’ll learn: Why equity (not equality) is the key to sharing responsibilities in a way that works for both partners. How Fair Play’s design naturally supports ADHDers with structure, ownership, and clear communication. The importance of carving out time for personal passions, aka your "unicorn space." The four ground rules that guide Fair Play and why they matter. How societal norms around time, work, and caregiving contribute to burnout—and what we can do to unlearn them. I also share my personal journey of moving from burnout to a more balanced system with my partner, plus practical tips for starting where you are and figuring out what matters most to your family. 🎧 Tune in now and start building a more equitable home life.
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9. For the Book Nerds
11/20/2024
9. For the Book Nerds
In this episode, I sit down with my 12-year-old friend to chat about our favorite books, the joy of discovering stories, and how reading can be an incredible way to connect with others. We explore everything from fantasy series like Aru Shah to the emotional depth of Remarkably Bright Creatures. Along the way, we share tips for finding books you’ll love—even if you think you’re not a “reader.” If you’re looking for book recommendations for kids, adults, or families to enjoy together, this episode is packed with inspiration. Plus, we discuss the value of trying new genres, using audiobooks to hook reluctant readers, and how trusting relationships can guide reading choices. Books mentioned include: The Aru Shah Series by Roshani Chokshi Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir Children of the Fox Series by Kevin Sands Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt Life of Pi by Yann Martel Whether you’re a book lover or someone searching for the perfect gateway read, this episode will leave you with plenty of ideas and a reminder that the right book can make all the difference. Tune in, grab a cup of tea, and let’s talk books!
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8. Inside the Mind of a 12-Year-Old with ADHD: Wisdom, Humor, and Hoverboarding
11/12/2024
8. Inside the Mind of a 12-Year-Old with ADHD: Wisdom, Humor, and Hoverboarding
In this special episode, I sit down with an extraordinary 12-year-old with ADHD who shares his unique perspective on navigating school, friendships, and life. From hoverboarding during Zoom calls to rocking in class to focus, he sheds light on what helps him thrive and what he wishes teachers and classmates understood about ADHD. Join us as we explore everything from managing boredom to finding dopamine boosts in daily life. His insights will make you laugh, reflect, and maybe even rethink ADHD. This episode is perfect for anyone wanting an honest look at ADHD through the eyes of a child!
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7. Hyperfixations & ADHD
10/31/2024
7. Hyperfixations & ADHD
In this thought-provoking episode, Martha dives deep into the world of hyper fixation and its unique role in the ADHD experience. While hyper fixation is often mistaken for hyper-focus, Martha unpacks how these two concepts differ. Through relatable, real-life examples—like her food, drink, and hobby fixations—she illustrates how hyper fixation can provide a comforting routine or become an intense interest without always leading to the time blindness often associated with hyper-focus. If you’ve ever wondered why certain snacks, drinks, or interests become your daily must-have, Martha’s insights may provide answers. She also touches on the potential risks of hyper fixation and why it’s so common in ADHD brains. Tune in for a down-to-earth discussion and an invitation to share your own experiences with hyper fixation. Find Martha on social media @marthahoffmancoaching to join the conversation!
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6. The ADHD Paradox—Craving Routine, Needing Novelty
10/23/2024
6. The ADHD Paradox—Craving Routine, Needing Novelty
Do you ever start your week with the best intentions, a beautifully organized schedule in hand, only to find yourself tossing it out by Tuesday? If you're someone with ADHD, balancing the need for routine with the desire for spontaneity can feel like an impossible task. This episode is for you! Join me as we dive into the paradox that so many of us with ADHD face—our brains crave structure, but they also need novelty to stay engaged. I’ll share strategies to build flexible schedules, inject intentional novelty into your day, and create routines that work with your brain rather than against it. If you’ve ever felt the frustration of trying to stick to a plan but ending up rearranging your bedroom instead, tune in! Learn how to strike the right balance and create a system that actually works.
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5. The Power of Intentional Laziness as an Antidote to Hyperfocus
10/23/2024
5. The Power of Intentional Laziness as an Antidote to Hyperfocus
In this bonus episode, I explore how embracing laziness helps combat the burnout caused by hyperfocus. While routine and predictability are often celebrated, I've found that thriving with ADHD sometimes means breaking away from rigid structures and allowing flexibility. I walk you through a day in my life that may seem chaotic but is really about honoring my energy needs. I discuss how I've reframed "laziness" from a negative label to a self-care tool. By intentionally stopping work after energy-draining tasks and allowing myself downtime—whether that’s napping, zoning out, or simply resting—I’ve learned to preserve my energy for what truly matters. If you're an ADHD-er who often finds yourself burnt out, this episode will challenge you to rethink the idea of productivity and encourage you to sprinkle in moments of "lazy". While I acknowledge the privilege of my flexible schedule, I also emphasize that small, intentional shifts in how we structure our time can make a big difference, no matter our circumstances. This one's for the high achievers who feel guilty about resting. It's time to reclaim laziness and use it to work smarter, not harder.
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4. ADHD & Hyperfocus
10/23/2024
4. ADHD & Hyperfocus
ADHD is full of contradictions, and today we're diving into one of the biggest: how can we experience both a lack of focus and extreme focus? In this episode, we'll explore why ADHD brains seem to tune out the world at times and, at others, get completely lost in what’s called hyper-focus. If you’ve ever heard "Are you even listening to me?" or struggled with time slipping away while you’re laser-focused, this episode is for you. Martha shares real-life examples, including her own experiences with hyper-focus, why it can be both a superpower and a struggle, and strategies to harness it effectively. From the benefits of harnessing hyper-focus for creativity and productivity to the downsides like burnout and time blindness, you'll learn how to balance these extremes. Martha also covers practical strategies—like using timers, external accountability, and environment management—to make hyper-focus work for you. If this resonated and you’re ready for more, stay tuned for a bonus episode: "Laziness as the Antidote to Hyperfocus."
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3. Consistently Inconsistent
10/23/2024
3. Consistently Inconsistent
In this episode of "ADHD in the Real World," Martha Hoffman tackles the ups and downs of living with ADHD—the kind that makes you feel like you're walking uphill through waist-high water one day and coasting downhill the next. For years, Martha, like many of us, internalized the inconsistent energy and focus as a problem. But today, she's here to tell you: nothing is wrong with you. Martha breaks down the common challenges of being "consistently inconsistent," including missed deadlines, burnout, and feelings of overwhelm. She provides practical strategies to help manage these fluctuations: from breaking tasks into smaller "slices" with multiple deadlines, to setting intentional limits on daily tasks, and finding ways to truly rest. Martha also emphasizes the importance of learning to ride the natural waves of energy and exhaustion, and the power of self-talk to reframe these experiences. Whether you struggle with inconsistency or support someone who does, this episode will help you navigate ADHD's unpredictable nature with more compassion and practical tools. Tune in to learn how embracing your inconsistency can lead to a more balanced, fulfilling life.
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2. ADHD & Shame
10/23/2024
2. ADHD & Shame
In this episode of "ADHD in the Real World," Martha Hoffman unpacks a powerful statistic: by age 12, kids with ADHD have heard 20,000 more negative messages from adults than their neurotypical peers. This reality has a profound impact on self-esteem and the development of shame. Martha explores how this negative reinforcement can lead to patterns of frustration, perfectionism, defensiveness, and avoidance in people with ADHD. Martha provides real-life examples of how shame manifests—from angry reactions to criticism to striving for impossible perfectionism. She also shares a simple yet transformative strategy for reducing shame: get curious instead of jumping to criticism or judgment. By approaching ADHD challenges with curiosity, you can foster more honest communication, build trust, and encourage meaningful change, whether you're supporting a partner, child, or yourself. Listen in to learn how choosing curiosity over judgment can help break the cycle of shame, improve relationships, and create lasting shifts in how you navigate life with ADHD. Tune in, and let's make the real world work for us, one curious moment at a time.
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1. ADHD is Annoying
10/23/2024
1. ADHD is Annoying
In this first episode of "ADHD in the Real World," Martha Hoffman introduces herself as your no-nonsense guide to thriving with ADHD. With her background as a former special education teacher, a mother, a Fair Play facilitator, and someone with lifelong ADHD, Martha brings a raw and honest perspective to managing everyday challenges. Whether you're navigating a new diagnosis or supporting a loved one, you'll find practical strategies, real-life examples, and insightful conversations here. Martha shares why she's not entirely on board with the idea of ADHD being a superpower. While there are benefits, it's often a struggle to navigate a world not designed for ADHD brains. Expect candid conversations on the invisible labor that disproportionately affects women and mothers, and the frustrations that come with ADHD—from the endless cycle of forgetting appointments to the challenges of sensitive children. If you're tired of generic advice and want real talk, actionable tools, and a community that understands, you're in the right place. Tune in to start making the real world work for you, and don't forget to check out Episode 2 for more. Share this with a friend or family member who just doesn’t get it—they’ll thank you later.
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