Nobilis Erotica

The best podcast of erotic speculative fiction in the known universe.

Ep 500 Personalize your Netherparts by Cecilia Tan 10/19/2024

Ep 499 Bitter Luck by J Aster 09/28/2024

Ep 498 The Face of Venus by Nolan Vancey 08/24/2024

Ep 497 Time by PM Amaras and Paul Driggere 07/20/2024

Ep 496 A Merman Walks Into a Bar by Dannye Chase 06/15/2024

Ep 495 The Haunted Vagina by Matthew Barron 05/18/2024

Ep 494 The Princess and the Penis by Linn Thomas 04/27/2024

Ep 493 The Bacteria that Evolved on the Trip to Zebulon 83 by Patrick Mannus 03/24/2024

Ep 493 The Bacteria that Evolved on the Trip to Zebulon 83 by Patrick Mannus This month's patron-funded story is "The Bacteria that Evolved on the Trip to Zebulon 83" by Patrick Mannus. It's narrated by Nobilis Reed. Charlie didn't think much of the reports of cancer-related deaths on the Zebulon-83 colony ship. They were sad to hear people had died, sure, but to Charlie, the deaths weren't personally more upsetting than the radiation-related leukemia deaths after the toxic train spill. If anything, they were more pissed about the train spill deaths because that was the government's negligence at work. The Zebulon-83 deaths seemed like just bad luck as a result of transit-related radiation exposure during cryopreservation. Charlie took slightly more notice when it came out that all the Zebulon cancers were prostate, breast, ovarian, and endometrial. Not so much because that meant anything to them scientifically speaking, but because it was just kind of odd. Charlie worked in IT, but even they could recognize that it was unusual for the cancers to cluster like that. When it came out that the cause of the unusual cancer clustering was unregulated growth of hormone-altering intestinal bacteria that had evolved during the flight to Zebulon-83, and that said same bacteria could be directed to change people's genders more effectively than any hormone supplements, Charlie sat up and took notice. They sent the article to a fellow comms satellite IT specialist. They didn’t work for the same company, but even though it was a growing field, there were still few enough of them that you just knew the other commsatties. And Charlie had always kind of had a crush on Morgan. Morg. Check it out. Interesting tech coming out of that Zebulon-83 colony ship. When they’d met at a commsatty conference, which was really just a place to use illicit and non-illicit substances and talk shit about the companies they worked for and all the exploits they had over the companies if they were ever wrongfully terminated, Charlie had been drawn to Morgan. They just got the sense of a kindred spirit. When your body was not always the right fit for your soul, you could see the same mismatch in others. And Charlie had seen that in Morgan. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/30520928

Ep 492 The Fishbowl by C Lenz 02/24/2024

Ep 491 Blackberry Picking by Daniel Stride 01/13/2024

Ep 491 Blackberry Picking by Daniel Stride This month's story is "Blackberry Picking" by , narrated by . The baking heat of late summer was upon her, and the flies were out. Iris wiped the sweat from her brow, and stuffed another blackberry between her teeth. She knew she shouldn’t. The more blackberries she ate herself, the longer she’d take to fill the basket, and the longer she’d need to stay out in the sun. But she couldn’t resist the temptation. The berries hung amid the thorns, juicy and succulent. She thrust her hand back into the bush, and grabbed a couple more. The thorns scratched, but the prize was worth it. The sweet, tart taste ran over her tongue. Delightful. But her fingers were now sticky with berry juice, and the sweat was running again. And there were the flies, hovering and buzzing. Never mind her miserably half-full basket. This was hotter than last summer, by far. Or any of the seventeen other summers of her life. Maybe it was the terrible lack of wind. Other times, the salty tang from the south – the sea lay two days’ donkey-ride from her village – might have relieved Iris’ pain. But today? The air hung like a hazy and listless shroud. To be trapped outside on such an afternoon, why, it was like being cooked alive inside a brazen maze. A maze choked with bushes and thorns. Iris gritted her teeth. A plan formed in her mind. The festivities of Sungit were yet tomorrow night. She could nap in the shade for a few hours, at least until the coolness of evening. Then she’d fill her basket, and hurry home. Her mother might grumble, but her mother wasn’t out in the afternoon heat. She was bowing and scraping before Sungit’s stone altar, along with all the other mothers. So long as Iris delivered a basketful of blackberries by nightfall, that was what mattered. Besides, the visiting Priest ate half the fruit offerings before the ceremony, and the goddess never seemed to mind. Sungit felt generous these days. The harvest had not failed in a full twelve years, and the grain ran plentiful. Iris’ heart fluttered, as she glanced around her. There was no-one in sight, nor could she hear anyone talking or singing. Perhaps everyone else thought similarly: the day was just too hot. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/29387633

Ep 490 In the Tower Tangled by Lynne Sargent 12/30/2023

Ep 489 Midnight Swim by PM Amaras and Paul Driggere 11/18/2023

Ep 488 Leviathan by Steven Guy 10/14/2023

Ep 488 Leviathan by Steven Guy This month's patron-funded story is Leviathan by Steven Guy. It's narrated by Vivienne Ferrari. Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook or press down his tongue with cord? Can you put a rope in his nose or pierce his jaw with a hook? Will he make many pleas to you? Will he speak to you soft words? Will he make a covenant with you to take him for your servant forever? Will you play with him as with a bird, or will you put him on a leash for your girls?” Job 41:1 - 5 A week before Lent a star fell from heaven. The light of its burning lit the sister’s bedroom through their window and woke them from a deep and dreamless sleep. Christine leapt from the bed and pressed her face to the window. A miracle, she cried. A miracle that we should see a star fall. Her sister stayed by the bed and took to her knees in prayer. It has landed not far, Christine shouted. Perhaps in the pasture near to the river. Come. Run. Let us find it. A star falls from heaven - it will be of silver and gold. We are newly rich. Her sister shook her head and remained upon her knees. It is an evil omen sister, she whispered, to see such a star fall. Close your eyes. Remember your prayers. But Christine took her sister by the hand and led her out, both still in the thin shifts they slept in. Spring was not yet in bloom and it was cold. Their breath hung in a thousand tiny crystals as they ran to the pasture near the river. The smell of smoke was in the air and just as they ran out of breath and began to walk, they found a man – or rather, they found a man of sorts. He lay on his side at the end of a deep furrow that smelled both a little of wet earth and of a blacksmith’s forge. The furrow was no doubt from the mighty fury of his fall and he was unconscious and curled up like a child. His skin was a peculiar red in color – he seemed to be burnt or dyed to some shade between ochre and aubergine. His feet were blackened stumps and his hands black too, save for his palms which were the grey color of ash. On the whole, he looked charred, like the wood at the bottom of the charcoal maker’s pit, and yet his chest rose and fell. He was alive and breathed like a man. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/28240394

Ep 487 Dragon Enough by Genevieve Amsterdam 09/23/2023

Ep 486 Sacrifice by J Aster 07/23/2023

Ep 485 Apple of Sodom by Plangdi Neple 06/10/2023

Ep 484 Three Installs by Genevieve Amsterdam 05/20/2023

Ep 483 - The Lion Tamer by Cecilia Tan 04/22/2023

Ep 482 Pasiphae's Lover by Stephani Maari Booker 03/25/2023

Ep 481 - One Summer Evening by A N Tate 02/25/2023

Ep 480 Feeling Sheepish by Eccho Steem 01/21/2023

Art for "The Love We Make" 01/06/2023

Ep 479 The Love you Make by David Hill 12/24/2022

Ep 479 The Love you Make by David Hill This month's patron-funded story is The Love you Make by David Hill. It's narrated by Scottie Calif. Harriet wasn’t frightened by the close encounter—at least, honestly, not very much—because she had seen it all before in the movies and on television: the blinding lights in the sky stabbing down toward her car, the problems with the ignition, the headlights, and the other electrical circuitry. The trembling of the earth beneath her tires, the feeling that what she was experiencing was all a dream. Even though, of course, it wasn’t. What did surprise her was that, after the whole passé rigmarole was over, she hadn’t been abducted. No alien implants, no pointless medical experimentation, no bizarre attempts at communication. The only departure from script—the only thing out of the ordinary—was that, as the ship rose into the night sky on pillars of blue light, one bright beam pointed to the asphalt in front of her Toyota, calling her attention to a small metallic object that had evidently been deposited there just for her. She got out of the car, picked the thing up, and brought it home. “What do you think it is?” she asked John after describing the strange episode along Pennington Road. “Sure looks like a cock to me,” he answered. Which it did, being about six inches long and tubular, with two small oval attachments on one end and a tiny vertical slot on the other. “Be serious.” “Seriously, Harriet. Maybe it’s some kind of alien dildo. Or maybe it’s an extraterrestrial pocket comb. Who knows? If you want, I’ll take it into town and drop it off with the police. Could be they might figure out what the damned thing is.” Harriet shook her head, reluctant to relinquish possession of the alien artifact, no matter what it eventually turned out to be. This question intrigued her for the remainder of the evening. After John left for the ten-to-six shift, she abandoned her usual boring routine of sitcoms, news, and late-night talk shows. Instead she sat on the couch and fiddled with the thing. She turned it over in her hands, wondering what it was, who had made it, how it was used, where it was from, why it had been left there on the road for her. Her husband’s observation stuck in her mind, though, and she couldn’t stop herself from thinking that, yes, the object truly did resemble a penis—albeit a stylized one made out of metal with a matte silver finish. Moreover, she observed, it looked remarkably like John’s very own, being somewhat tapered and almost exactly identical in length. This made her feel nostalgic. And a little randy, too, since—what with the difference in their timetables now that John was working nights—it had been quite a while since their last romantic entanglement. As a matter of fact, Harriet couldn’t exactly put her finger on just when they’d made love recently. Definitely not within the past couple of weeks. Had a month or more really gone by? She tried to remember. The very effort of recollection hammered home the point that too long had passed. She ultimately focused on an evening not too different from this one, except that she wasn’t alone. He was there with her, and it was more than obvious what he had on his mind as he caressed her in long, slow, masterful shuddering strokes from shoulder to haunch. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/25420512

Ep 478 The Place Where Heroes are Made by Sarah Ellis 11/26/2022

Ep 477 Anything but That by TammyJo Eckhart 10/22/2022

Ep 477 Anything but That by TammyJo Eckhart This month's story is "Anything but That" by , narrated by Vivienne Ferrari. This episode is sponsored by . “That can’t be,” Darina’s whisper froze in her chest as the creature inside the cell snarled and snapped its huge teeth in her direction. She pressed her back against the cool stone wall of the basement and slid down to sit on the floor. She tried to control her breathing, but she just couldn’t seem to get a breath at all, because there was a knot in her throat. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lights, she identified the creature; a huge wolf, “far bigger than any wolf should be,” her rational mind mused. She realized she was overthinking it and calmed down. She released her breath and took a slow deep one. Using techniques she trained into her submissives when they panicked, she counted out three slow breaths, but her body seemed frozen. “Jesus!” she gasped as the beast thrashed wildly, throwing its body around yet barely moving. Why wasn’t it getting any closer to the bars of the cell? She counted her breathing as she watched it struggle. It finally slumped down and stopped moving. Its heavy, ragged breathing was loud in her ears. Its huge head and gaping fanged mouth turned toward her, and it took in a shuddering breath, nostrils flaring. Was it smelling her? The creature made a whimpering sound and turned its head and the rest of its body awkwardly from her. Darina found her body suddenly free, but she just sat there staring until the beast glanced back at her, whimpering once more before tucking its head as best it could between its chest and the arm farthest from her. “Is it afraid of me?” Fight. Flight. Freeze. “Primal responses exist not just in humans, but animals, too,” her brain supplied the facts as she got her legs under her. She pressed her hands against the wall to help her stand up. The creature flinched as she stood up. It whined as she took one, then two steps closer. How long were its arms, and was that the right word? Where must she stop so it couldn't reach her if it came at the bars? She took another step, then decided caution was better. Normally she was cautious when approaching new experiences or relationships. She grasped onto her new sub, the reason she was here, to help calm down. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/24765435

Ep 476 Something in the Way by Amelia Coulon 09/16/2022

Ep 475 Carnival of Sensation by Nobilis Reed 08/20/2022

Ep 475 Carnival of Sensation by Nobilis Reed This month's patron-funded story is "Carnival of Sensation" by Nobilis Reed. It's narrated by the author. If you want an ad-free version of the podcast, . Gruss had been studying the gravitational fluxes of black hole 459 dash 54 for several hundred thousand seconds when Fandel appeared. “The secret,” he said, dropping into orbit around Gruss with an abrupt bending of space, “Is authenticity.” That is to say, he expressed his thoughts in quantum encoded radio pulses. “It’s not a secret if you tell everyone,” said Gruss, “And you tell everyone. Find someone else to tell, you’re warping the event horizon and spoiling my measurements” Fandel continued undeterred by the observation. “That’s why it’s so important to go back to Origin. For authenticity.” His spherical outer shell glowed in the infrared, absorbing all other frequencies. Fandel had always been a glutton. Gruss shifted the neutronium plates of their armature, altering the surface albedo to reflect light away from Fandel, a dismissive gesture. “When do you leave?” they asked, with a tone that indicated they hoped it would be soon. “Oh, right away,” replied Fandel. “Just as soon as I’ve stored enough energy.” “Well, don’t let me slow you down,” said Gruss, altering their armatures once again in order to eclipse Fandel as little as possible. “Thing is, I was hoping…” Gruss didn’t step into the gap in the conversation. Instead, they let it hang for almost an entire second. “I was hoping you would come with me.” “Why in the name of all that’s radiant, would you hold any hope at all in that event?” Fandel warped again, dropping into an even closer orbit, now close enough that Gruss could feel the gravity differential slightly warping his armatures. “You’re the only one of my friends who has never come to a carnival, and…” Gruss cut Fandel off with a burst of radio static. “I assure you, that is not true.” “What? No, if you had been to one, I would have known…” “No,” said Gruss. “The ‘friend’ part.” Fandel took on spin. “Oh Gruss, you’re such a kidder.” “I’m not going with you. It’s a meaningless excursion to a meaningless planet. Origin hasn’t had any relevance since the Upload.” “It’s where we came from! It’s always relevant. Come with me, you’ll understand. Authenticity.” “First of all, no, second of all, my mass is several orders of magnitude greater than Origin and I’d warp its structure just by dropping into orbit, third, no.” “Well, of course we’re not going to go there like this,” Fandel scoffed. “That would be pointless. We’re sending delegates.” “I do not fork my consciousness,” said Gruss. “That leads to…whatever it is that’s gotten into you.” “That won’t be necessary. Your delegate will be a remote. I just got the tech from Shoover. It’s just like creating a forked delegate, except instead of a brain, the remote has a real-time transceiver, broadstreaming anywhere within ten thousand light-seconds.” “They got an RTT small enough to exist on a terrestrial planet surface?” “I know, they said it was impossible, but Shoover managed it. Here, look.” Fandel opened a high gain multiwave antenna and beamed the idea to Gruss, who spent several seconds reviewing the details, adjusting their armatures several times in contemplation. “Pretty neat, huh? It uses the planet’s magnetic field as a resonator!” “I will admit, this tech has promise,” said Gruss. “Great. We can use my printer.” Fandel transmitted the timesynched coordinates and the encoding protocol. “Alright, I’ll go—but only because I want to try out this tech.” Fandel spun up even faster. “You’re not going to regret this!” By the time the two of them arrived at Origin, Gruss already regretted it. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/24111549

Ep 474 Biohazard by Victoria Frost 07/23/2022

Ep 474 Biohazard by Victoria Frost This month's patron-funded story is "Biohazard" by , narrated by . Although the junior adjudicators liked to go out for drinks after work, it didn’t mean they weren’t as boring and pretentious while lounging in the mixed quarter and drinking galactic drinks as they were in the Hall of Justice. U’elh sighed, sipping her drink, and gazed out over the bar, watching Ma'elhian and Humans avoid each other or, very occasionally, mingle. To her surprise, at the bar she spotted a familiar jawline. She waited until the woman turned. It was her. Last week, a Human murderer had been brought to face Ma’elhian judgement. He was accompanied by two Human guards: one a male in a bulky jacket and gloves, and the other a young female, with a strong jaw and watchful eyes, showing no sign that she felt the Hall of Justice’s usual chill. Usually, there was little reason for Humans to enter the Hall of Justice. They had their own courts and took responsibility for the behavior of their own citizens. But in this case the Ma'elhr clan concerned was not satisfied with Human justice, and the Humans felt enough distaste for the situation that they allowed the transfer of responsibility for the prisoner to the Ma'elhr Adjudicators. “Monsters,” the prisoner spat at the sight of the Ma’elhian. U’elh sympathized with his pain. His sister had died horribly, and a Ma’elhr had caused her death. However, as an Adjudicator, U'elh was wary of thinking that the Ma'elhr was "at fault" for her death. Yes, he had infected the girl with his symbiote, but she didn’t know the circumstances of their liaison, and neither did the murderer. Had the girl claimed to be on anti-microbial pills? Had there been an unfortunate accident with the tool the Humans called a 'condom'? Or had the Ma'elhr been one of the ugly and cruel who reveled in the power given to them by biological accident, the ones who intentionally spread death with their seed? But the two principal parties were dead, and no one was left to answer those questions. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/23819795

Ep 473 The Hallowed Covenant 07/12/2022

Announcement: Reorganization 07/05/2022

Announcement: Reorganization Greetings, listeners! Today, I am announcing a reorganization of the Nobilis Erotica podcast and patreon campaign. In doing this, I’m asking you to step up, and help me do something I’ve needed to do for quite some time. The support tiers have been the same for seven years, and a lot has changed over that time, including in the world of erotic audio. Quite frankly, the rate that I pay voice talent is just too low. I can get narrators, as you’ve heard, but the rate I’m paying them is a fraction of what they deserve. The going rate for story narration of an hour or less is at the bare minimum two hundred dollars, but with the current podcast budget, I can only afford fifty. The first change will be that Nobilis Erotica will be accepting advertising. I have had a few sponsored shows in the past, but now each episode will be available for advertisers. Patrons will have access to an ad-free version in the Patreon feed. The sponsors will be vetted by me personally—nothing programmatically added without my supervision—so hopefully the ads will be interesting and relevant. In addition, starting in September, the monthly bonus audio will be for patrons at the three dollar tier and higher. The one dollar tier will give access to the Discord, but will have no other benefits. Polls will be run at the five dollar tier.If my one dollar patrons step up and crank their pledges to three dollars per month, I’ll have enough money to pay one hundred dollars to voice talent. Adding advertising will hopefully make up the difference. With that, and perhaps some of the free listeners coming on board to get the ad-free version, we can make this work. And if you’re already at three or five dollars, and you can afford to increase your patronage, that would help too. Together, we can make the Nobilis Erotica podcast respectable. Heh. Who am I kidding? We can make it more respectable. Thank you all for your support. Without you, none of what I’ve been able to do here would have been possible. /episode/index/show/nobilis/id/23633999