Relationship Dish
Ever wonder what your therapist’s own romantic relationship is like? Well wonder no more because Relationship Dish is the podcast where two therapists dish about their own relationships. Hey, relationships are hard for EVERYONE, even therapists! In this podcast we practice “walking our own talk” as we journey through the ups and downs of our love relationships and our own humble learning to be better partners. Our wish is that our learning becomes your learning as you reach to be the best partner you can be. We are Iona Monk and Pam Stewart. Join us and let’s dish.
info_outline
ep 148 / ADHD & Relationships: It’s Not “Try Harder”—It’s Try Differently
09/09/2026
ep 148 / ADHD & Relationships: It’s Not “Try Harder”—It’s Try Differently
What happens when ADHD walks into a relationship? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome Natalie Wiseman, a Vancouver- and Florida-based counsellor who specializes in working with couples affected by ADHD, to explore how this neurodevelopmental disorder can shape everything from household responsibilities to intimacy. Natalie explains why ADHD can be mistaken for laziness, carelessness, or a lack of commitment—and why understanding the difference between intent and impact is so important. They talk about time blindness, forgotten promises, unequal responsibilities, impulsivity, interruptions, defensiveness, and the frustrating parent-child dynamic that can develop when one partner chronically over-functions for the other. They also explore the ADHD “hyperfocus” that can make a new relationship feel intensely passionate in the beginning, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and why diagnosis can be such a game-changer. As Iona puts it, understanding ADHD can transform “Why are you doing this to me?” into “Oh… this is what's happening.” Natalie shares practical strategies for creating systems that put responsibility back where it belongs—from automatic bill payments to phone alarms and structured routines—and explains why the ADHD partner, rather than their spouse, needs to own those systems. ADHD isn't an excuse, but understanding it can open the door to compassion, accountability, and real change. It's not try harder. It's try differently. More about Natalie's work: More about Melissa Orlov's work: https://www.adhdmarriage.com
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/42840415
info_outline
ep 147 / Vacation Test: What Travel Reveals About Your Relationship
08/26/2026
ep 147 / Vacation Test: What Travel Reveals About Your Relationship
Ever wonder why a vacation can either bring a couple closer—or make them want to kill each other? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Iona and Pam explore what happens when you take a relationship out of its everyday environment and put it under the pressure of travel, logistics, limited escape routes, and way too much togetherness. Iona shares how a recent vacation with her husband Steve went better than any trip they've taken before—and why she believes it's a reflection of the work they've been doing in their marriage. She's become better at tolerating who Steve actually is rather than needing him to be different, while Steve has grown more proactive about initiating and planning. Their vacation became a kind of relationship litmus test: the things that work away from home are often the things you've been practicing at home all along. They also talk about the unique challenge of shifting between couple mode and co-parent mode, the push-pull between anxious and avoidant partners, and why travel leaves very little room to hide from the state of your relationship. Along the way, they explore the difference between discussing a problem and simply discharging your feelings, the importance of repair, and how embracing the parts of ourselves we might prefer to hide can reduce resentment. A good relationship isn't about never disagreeing; it's about trusting that you'll find your way back to each other. And sometimes, the best thing you can say is: Here's what I feel—and here's what I need from you.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/42556070
info_outline
ep 146 / Homeostasis: Why Relationships Resist Change
07/29/2026
ep 146 / Homeostasis: Why Relationships Resist Change
Ever feel like the moment you start changing, the people around you push back? You're not imagining it. In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the concept of homeostasis—the predictable emotional balance every relationship and family system naturally tries to maintain, whether it's healthy or not. They unpack why even positive changes can feel threatening to those around us, how loved ones can unintentionally pull us back into familiar patterns, and why changing one person inevitably changes the entire relationship dynamic. Pam reflects on the "honeymoon homeostasis" in one of her marriages and why trying to preserve it ultimately created distance instead of connection, while Iona shares stories from her therapy practice that illustrate how easy it is for couples to dismiss each other's need for growth. Together, they discuss why every relationship must continually recalibrate as life evolves, and how resisting change can quietly erode communication and intimacy. They also explore the difference between merely surviving as a couple and consciously choosing to build something that allows both partners to thrive. Healthy relationships don't stay the same—they learn how to change together.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/42234150
info_outline
ep 145 / When Addiction Tests a Marriage: A Parent’s Journey (with Elana Epstein)
07/15/2026
ep 145 / When Addiction Tests a Marriage: A Parent’s Journey (with Elana Epstein)
What happens to a marriage when your child is struggling with addiction? In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome author Elana Epstein to share how she and her husband of 32 years navigated while trying to help their son through addiction and recovery. Elana opens up about the early warning signs she sensed, the temptation to protect both her son and her husband by keeping secrets, and how quickly a family crisis can create distance between partners. She explains how children struggling with addiction may play parents against each other, and why presenting a united front became one of the most important protective factors in their family. Together, they explore the tension between compassion and consequences, the role of attachment styles in parenting decisions, and the humbling realization that the best path often lies somewhere between “too soft” and “too hard.” Elana also shares how recovery work transformed her own people-pleasing patterns and ultimately strengthened—not weakened—her marriage. When fear threatens to separate a family, honesty, teamwork, and the willingness to learn can become the very things that hold it together. Get Elana's book, Today I Will Be Fearless . Follow Elana on Instagram:
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/42097935
info_outline
ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT
07/01/2026
ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT
Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. ( to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs!) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and true narcissistic personality disorder, why the term narcissist has exploded in popular culture, and how labeling someone can sometimes distract us from examining our own patterns in relationships. Drawing on decades of experience working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, Carla shares why she focuses her practice on empowering the victim—not changing the narcissist. She discusses how learning to set firm, non-combative boundaries often transforms not only the relationship, but also how clients see themselves and their partners. In many cases, once people find their voice, they discover they no longer want to stay. Together, they also explore whether narcissism is nature or nurture, why children raised by narcissistic parents don't all follow the same path, the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist, and why narcissists are often quick to accuse others of being narcissistic themselves. The goal isn't to become better at diagnosing people—it's to become better at recognizing unhealthy dynamics, protecting yourself, and building relationships rooted in respect.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/41916695
info_outline
ep 143 / Boundaries Aren't Selfish: Listening to Your Body Before It Shouts
06/18/2026
ep 143 / Boundaries Aren't Selfish: Listening to Your Body Before It Shouts
What if your feelings weren't a problem to solve, but a signal to pay attention to? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore boundary-setting through a lens that many people miss: your body's own warning system. They discuss how anxiety, irritability, sadness, overwhelm, numbness, and even physical sensations can be clues that you're moving outside your window of tolerance—and that a boundary may be needed. Pam shares how years of suppressing her feelings in marriage eventually led to eruptions of anger, while Iona tells the story of a man who spent so long ignoring his own needs that his body finally shut down altogether. Together, they unpack why so many of us—especially women—have been taught that setting boundaries is selfish, controlling, or unkind, when in reality the opposite is often true. They also explore the importance of "clean boundaries": holding firm when others push back, recognizing that boundaries can be both kind and direct, and learning to respect your own limits as much as you respect everyone else's. Boundaries aren't walls. They're acts of self-respect, honesty, and intimacy. And the sooner you learn to hear the music when it's quiet, the less likely you'll be forced to listen when it's blaring.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/41691635
info_outline
ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other
06/03/2026
ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other
How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed feelings feel too uncomfortable, and why learning to hold contradictory emotions—love and anger, closeness and disappointment—is essential for healthy relationships. Pam and Iona discuss how easily we can begin assigning the least generous interpretation to someone’s behavior, how anxiety often disguises feelings we’re afraid to express, and why vulnerability may be much simpler than we think. Sometimes, it’s just naming the feeling. Along the way, Pam opens up about how these patterns played out in her marriage, uncovering—in real time—the complicated mix of sadness, love, resentment, and grief that still exists. Real intimacy begins when we stop telling stories about people—and start telling the truth to them.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/41528755
info_outline
ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is
05/20/2026
ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is
When you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place. Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she’s shared with close friends over the years—the crying, arguing, laughing, and vulnerability that create real closeness—and admits that she still struggles at times to fully let people in. Together, she and Iona explore the importance of reciprocity, shared interests, emotional openness, and feeling genuinely connected in everyday life. Intimacy isn’t just about being physically close; it’s about being truly known. Thoughts? Questions? Topic ideas for an episode? Email us at:
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/41359345
info_outline
ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self
05/06/2026
ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self
After years behind the mic, Pam and Iona reflect on how Relationship Dish has evolved from research-heavy conversations to something more lived-in, intuitive, and real. And in this episode, they take that evolution even deeper with a powerful question: Who are you, underneath it all? Many people come to therapy focused on symptoms like anxiety, depression, and conflict, but beneath those layers lies something quieter and more essential: the true self. Pam and Iona explore how core feelings act as a gateway to that authentic place where your curiosity, joy, and aliveness are. Pam shares the moments when she feels most like herself—fully present, playful, and free—whether she’s with her grandkids or walking through the stillness of her family farm. Iona opens up about how anxiety once felt safer than authenticity in her family system, and how daily practices like gratitude have helped her reconnect with the hopeful, vibrant parts of who she really is. Together, they unpack the tension between attachment and authenticity—how the need to belong or make a relationship work can sometimes override the need to be real—and what it takes to reclaim your voice, your desires, and your sense of self. The goal isn’t just to feel better; it’s to come alive. For Listener Reference: from Dr. Matthew Jarvinen's
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/41172445
info_outline
ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck
04/22/2026
ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck
Think avoiding conflict is the key to a happy relationship? Think again. In this powerful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack why real intimacy isn’t built by keeping the peace—it’s built by risking it. They explore how sexual intimacy alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, and why deeper connection requires emotional vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to rock the boat. Pam shares how conflict avoidance shaped her marriage—including a moment she literally checked into a hotel to escape a fight—while Iona opens up about the risks she’s taken in her own relationship that ultimately led to more trust and passion. Together, they dive into how to fight well: why losing your cool costs you credibility, how repair creates deeper bonding, and how to invite your partner into hard conversations without triggering defensiveness. They also challenge the myth that “if it’s right, it should be easy”—and why that belief keeps so many couples disconnected. If you want real intimacy, you don’t have a choice: You have to risk conflict to get there.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/40965725
info_outline
ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships
03/25/2026
ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships
Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both. They explore how what we didn’t receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even angry demands—in our adult relationships. Pam shares how mismatched expectations around time, energy, and reciprocity have led her to pull back from friendships, while Iona reflects on how differing needs for connection and space showed up early in their own relationship—and how naming those needs created something surprisingly healing between them. Together, they dive into expectations around affection, communication, and roles in partnership, and why every relationship needs its own “rules of engagement” to thrive. Because the goal isn’t to have no expectations—it’s to have the right ones, clearly expressed and rooted in reality.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/40609805
info_outline
ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being “Good Enough”
02/18/2026
ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being “Good Enough”
Can people actually change, or do we eventually have to learn how to live with what is? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona let listeners in on their behind-the-scenes process of choosing a topic—then land on one that hits close to home. Pam opens up about her ongoing struggle to set boundaries with people she loves, and how making slow, incremental changes feels essential before she can fully open herself to a new relationship. Iona, on the other hand, explores a different kind of growth: accepting long-standing patterns in her marriage—like her husband’s lack of initiative and tendency to get distracted—and learning how to tolerate those realities without losing herself. What follows is an intimate mini-therapy session, as Pam gently guides Iona through what happens in her body when she feels triggered, and they unpack the difference between “won’t” and “can’t,” why appreciating the 90% matters, and how grieving unmet hopes can lead to real peace. Sometimes change isn’t about fixing everything—and sometimes, being good enough is enough.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/40148040
info_outline
ep 136 / When Therapy Works: Trust, Accountability, and Showing Up for Each Other (with Dr. Rotem Regev)
02/04/2026
ep 136 / When Therapy Works: Trust, Accountability, and Showing Up for Each Other (with Dr. Rotem Regev)
What does it look like when couples therapy actually works? In this special episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona are joined by , a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, to share real stories of couples who did the work—and found their way back to trust, connection, and understanding. Together, they explore the deeper question underneath most relationship conflicts. Whether couples come in fighting about money, parenting, or in-laws, the core issue is almost always the same: Are you there for me? Can I trust you? Are you emotionally accessible when I need you? Dr. Regev breaks down why personal accountability is essential to change, how even small shifts in one partner can transform the entire relationship system, and why curiosity and flexibility matter more than being “right.” They also discuss why couples who avoid conflict often drift apart—and why fighting, when done with care, can actually bring people closer. Relationships heal not through perfection, but through compassion, movement, and the courage to show up for each other again and again.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39987420
info_outline
ep 135 / Narcissism in Relationships: The Traits, the Patterns, and the Trap of “Passion”
01/21/2026
ep 135 / Narcissism in Relationships: The Traits, the Patterns, and the Trap of “Passion”
“Narcissist” has become a buzzword—and that can get messy fast. In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona aren’t diagnosing anyone… but they are digging into narcissistic traits and how they show up in real relationships, from subtle emotional neglect to full-blown “nothing is ever my fault” dynamics. Iona shares from personal experience—and her graduate school research—about growing up in a covertly narcissistic family system, where self-absorption, emotional abuse, and unmet needs shaped the blueprint for love. Pam opens up about her first relationship with someone who was thin-skinned, validation-hungry, and unable to take responsibility—someone who needed to be right, admired, and centered at all costs. Together, they explore how people raised in narcissistic family systems often try to fulfill the unmet needs of their childhoods through a partner—and sometimes end up treating that partner exactly the way they were treated growing up. They also unpack the “passion trap”: how the intensity of a narcissistic relationship can trick your brain into confusing stress, instability, and emotional chasing with real love. Healing isn’t about finding the perfect person to fill the hole from your past—it’s about finally naming the pain, working through it, and learning what healthy intimacy actually feels like.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39809740
info_outline
ep 134 / Relationship Pet Peeves: From Toothpaste Splatter to Taking Responsibility
01/07/2026
ep 134 / Relationship Pet Peeves: From Toothpaste Splatter to Taking Responsibility
Is it the big stuff that wears down relationships or the tiny, everyday annoyances? In this fun, honest episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dish about relationship pet peeves, from minor irritations to major triggers—and even guess what their partners would say drives them crazy. Pam shares her frustrations “yes, but” responses, reckless driving, and the ever-controversial topic of lying (is a “white lie” ever okay?) Iona opens up about interruptions, feeling unseen at social events, being held to an impossible standard because she’s a therapist, and why “ten minutes” rarely means ten minutes. Along the way, they explore how unspoken resentment builds when we’re afraid to express anger, why anger doesn’t have to mean yelling, and how emotional maturity often sounds like a simple sentence: “I don’t like that—here’s what I’d prefer.” At the end of the day, healthy relationships aren’t about having no pet peeves; they’re about taking responsibility for what you need, what you want, and how you ask for it.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39639500
info_outline
ep 133 / Emotional Maturity: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t and Start Owning It
12/17/2025
ep 133 / Emotional Maturity: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t and Start Owning It
What does it really mean to be emotionally mature—and why is it so damn hard sometimes? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive deep into the difference between having big feelings and acting on them. They unpack how emotional maturity isn’t something you automatically get with age; it’s something you build through awareness, accountability, and a refusal to keep blaming others for your unhappiness. Iona admits her parents weren’t exactly models of maturity, and shares a story about a couple she couldn’t help in therapy because they kept reenacting their emotional immaturity right there in session. Pam and Iona also explore how our “freeze” points often trace back to childhood wounds, and why self-righteousness, control, and blame are the biggest traps keeping us stuck. True emotional maturity means accepting life’s hard truths, regulating your own reactions, and remembering that the only thing you can truly change… is you.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39445310
info_outline
ep 132 / The Push-Pull of Love: Why We Want Intimacy but Fear It
12/03/2025
ep 132 / The Push-Pull of Love: Why We Want Intimacy but Fear It
Ever long for a deep, loving relationship—then find yourself backing away the moment it gets real? In this relatable episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the quiet ambivalence that makes so many of us crave intimacy while unconsciously resisting it. Pam gets candid about her own fears of losing herself in love—how past experiences and a “one-red-flag rule” have kept her from getting too close. Iona shares the story of a client who says he wants a family but keeps choosing unavailable partners. Together, they explore how early wounds teach us to hide, shrink, or settle—and how healing begins when we stop confusing safety with avoidance. Because we can’t be truly loved until we let ourselves be truly seen.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39250600
info_outline
ep 131 / Gratitude and the Blocks to Joy: Learning to Trust the Good Stuff
11/19/2025
ep 131 / Gratitude and the Blocks to Joy: Learning to Trust the Good Stuff
Gratitude sounds simple, but for many of us, it’s complicated. In this deeply honest episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore how early emotional wounds can make it hard to feel gratitude, joy, or even trust the good in our lives. Iona opens up about how her father’s emotional unpredictability made her wary of happiness itself—how gratitude once felt unsafe, even dangerous. Over time, a daily gratitude and meditation practice helped her dismantle those defenses and finally let the light in. Pam shares how her own mother created similar barriers, and how she now finds genuine gratitude in small, grounded moments—through nature, interior design, and quiet acts of care. Together, they examine how gratitude can heal old pain, but also how it can morph into toxic positivity when we use it to deny what’s real. Because true gratitude isn’t about forcing joy—it’s about feeling safe enough to receive it.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/39100630
info_outline
ep 130 / Daddy Issues (and Mommy Issues): How Our Parents Shape Our Love Lives
11/05/2025
ep 130 / Daddy Issues (and Mommy Issues): How Our Parents Shape Our Love Lives
Ever wonder why you’re drawn to people who feel a little too familiar? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack how the dynamics we learned from our parents quietly shape who we love—and how we relate. From Pam’s emotionally distant father who lived “neck-up,” to Iona’s unpredictable, larger-than-life dad whose approval could feel like winning the lottery, both hosts explore how early attachment wounds create blueprints for attraction. Your brain, they explain, is literally wired to seek out what it knows—even if what it knows is dysfunctional. So how do we stop replaying those old family patterns in our adult relationships? The Dishers dive into why the familiar can feel deceptively safe, how to spot when your trauma is steering the ship, and the essential work of filling your own emotional holes—rather than expecting your partner to. Because healing starts when we stop asking our lovers to do what our parents couldn’t.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/38917115
info_outline
ep 129 / 10 Ways to Keep Love Alive: Season Finale Special
09/24/2025
ep 129 / 10 Ways to Keep Love Alive: Season Finale Special
It’s the Relationship Dish season finale—and Pam and Iona are closing things out with their top 10 best tips for building and maintaining a healthy, connected romantic relationship. From repairing after a rupture to setting boundaries, from learning to share your deepest feelings to finding joy and fun together, they cover the core practices that make love last. Along the way, they get real about the traps that sabotage intimacy—ego, assumptions, and unspoken resentments—and the small shifts that can open the door to closeness instead. Whether you’re new to the podcast or have been following along all season, this episode is packed with practical wisdom, humor, and heart—a perfect refresher on how to create intimacy, not just conflict resolution, in your most important relationship.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/38331130
info_outline
ep 128 / Ego vs. Intimacy: What’s Really Getting in the Way of Connection
09/10/2025
ep 128 / Ego vs. Intimacy: What’s Really Getting in the Way of Connection
Are you feeding your ego—or your intimacy? In this thought-provoking episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the subtle but powerful forces that quietly sabotage closeness in relationships. Drawing on ideas from David Burns’s Feeling Good Handbook, they explore how conflict, blame, defensiveness, self-pity, and the need to be “right” can feel addictive—meeting hidden cravings for power, superiority, or even adrenaline—while pushing true intimacy further away. Iona gets candid about how her traumatic family background once wired her to seek the rush of conflict, while Pam highlights the toxic trap of arrogance and how humility is the antidote. And to lighten things up, Iona shares a laugh-out-loud story about just how competitive she gets when playing Scrabble with her husband. Because at the end of the day, every couple has to choose: build the fence—or build the intimacy.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/38149785
info_outline
ep 127 / The Power of “We”: Balancing Togetherness and Individuality in Love
08/27/2025
ep 127 / The Power of “We”: Balancing Togetherness and Individuality in Love
What does it really mean to be a we in a relationship—and how do you balance it with your own I? In this insightful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dig into the delicate art of collaboration, compromise, and connection. Iona shares how therapy (and a lot of practice) helped her have a wonderful holiday trip with her husband—addressing bumps in the road through true partnership and communication. Meanwhile, Pam reflects on her past marriage, where two I's gradually grew apart instead of working together to nurture a shared we. From the influence of childhood family dynamics to the impact of raising kids, Pam and Iona explore how couples can navigate individuality and togetherness, vulnerability and selfhood. Because building a healthy we isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about creating something greater together.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/37968715
info_outline
ep 126 / Making It Right: How to Repair After a Relationship Rupture
07/23/2025
ep 126 / Making It Right: How to Repair After a Relationship Rupture
Fights happen, but what really matters is what comes next. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the often-missed art of repair—the intentional process of healing after conflict. Whether you grew up in a home where repair was modeled or swept under the rug, chances are no one taught you how to do it well. From repeating old parent/child dynamics to the all-too-human urge to “make them suffer” before softening, Iona shares a personal story of how her early wounds show up in moments of disconnect with her partner—and how she’s learning to move beyond them. Together, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between accountability and defensiveness, why sweeping things under the rug kills intimacy, and how to build the self-worth and emotional maturity needed to truly own your side of the street. You’ll even get a simple 4-step protocol to help guide you through your next relationship repair. Because the goal isn’t to avoid rupture—it’s to learn how to repair, and come back stronger each time.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/37501350
info_outline
ep 125 / Can This Relationship Be Saved? What Couples Therapy Can (and Can’t) Do
07/09/2025
ep 125 / Can This Relationship Be Saved? What Couples Therapy Can (and Can’t) Do
Thinking about couples therapy? Wondering if it can really fix what's broken—or if you're just signing up for weekly battles on a therapist’s couch? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona pull back the curtain on what actually happens in couples therapy, what brings most couples through the door, and why it only works if both partners are willing to show up—messy feelings and all. They share revealing stories of clients who sabotaged the process by refusing to take responsibility (hello, emotional affairs and unacknowledged shame), and why no magical apology can heal betrayal without true accountability. You’ll also hear why therapists aren't there to convince you of what you "should" want, and why sometimes the goal isn’t saving the relationship—but ending it with grace. Whether you’re considering therapy, already in it, or just curious about the behind-the-scenes dynamics, this episode offers an unfiltered, compassionate look at the hard truths—and the hope—that therapy can bring.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/37343665
info_outline
ep 124 / The Boundary Breakdown: What’s Really Getting in the Way?
06/25/2025
ep 124 / The Boundary Breakdown: What’s Really Getting in the Way?
We all say we want healthy boundaries—but actually setting them? That’s where things get messy. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona go beyond the surface-level how-to's and explore the deeper emotional blocks that keep so many of us stuck in people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and silent resentment. They share personal stories of how their childhoods shaped their boundary struggles—from families that labeled limits as “unloving” to patterns of emotional neglect and over-functioning. You’ll learn the crucial difference between “I can’t” and “I won’t,” how anxiety disguises itself as selflessness, and why the body often knows we need a boundary before the brain will admit it. If you’ve ever felt like setting boundaries threatens your relationships, this episode will help you see that, in truth, they’re what make true intimacy possible.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/37144730
info_outline
ep 123 / Fun Is Not a Luxury: Why Joy Is Essential in Your Relationship
06/11/2025
ep 123 / Fun Is Not a Luxury: Why Joy Is Essential in Your Relationship
Sure, you’ve done the hard work—therapy, repair, tough conversations. But now what? In this feel-good episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into something couples often forget to prioritize: fun. From day trips to date nights, puzzles to pub nights, they explore how joy acts as a deposit in your relationship bank account—and why it’s crucial for long-term connection. Pam shares honestly about the lack of joy in her past relationship and what lights her up now, while Iona talks about prioritizing fun with her husband after their daughter left home. They offer real-life ideas (and a hilarious lightning round!) to help you bring more play, laughter, and lightness into your love life—before and after the kids fly the coop. Because fun isn’t frivolous—it’s the glue that keeps you together.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/36945425
info_outline
ep 122 / Sorry Not Sorry: The Courage (and Craft) of a Real Apology
05/28/2025
ep 122 / Sorry Not Sorry: The Courage (and Craft) of a Real Apology
What does a real apology sound like—and why is it so damn hard to get one? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona dive into the delicate art of apologizing. After Iona arrives very late to the recording, she offers a genuine, no-excuses apology—and it sparks a deeper conversation about how we repair emotional ruptures in relationships. They explore the difference between heartfelt accountability and hollow placation, why calling someone “too sensitive” doesn’t count, and how many of us (even the most polite Canadians!) are still learning to feel our feelings—and express them constructively. From the anatomy of a good apology to the role of anger in intimacy, this episode is packed with insights on how to show up with vulnerability, stay out of shame, and create stronger, more resilient connections—one repair at a time.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/36741920
info_outline
ep 121 / Is Your Relationship Haunted by Ghosts of the Past?
05/14/2025
ep 121 / Is Your Relationship Haunted by Ghosts of the Past?
Ever feel like you’re arguing with your partner’s past self—or like they’re stuck seeing you as who you used to be? In this candid and insightful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the “ghosts” that haunt our relationships—old dynamics, traumas, and one-dimensional perceptions that get projected onto our partners and shape how we relate. From confirmation bias to emotional overfunctioning, they unpack how unresolved experiences (from childhood and from earlier stages of the relationship itself) can distort the present—and block growth. Iona shares a personal story about her pattern of going into Superwoman mode when her husband is unwell, and how her default reactions are slowly changing… even if the “ghost” of her old self still lingers. Pam opens up about facing similar struggles with her daughter. Tune in for heartfelt reflection, a few laugh-out-loud moments, and some powerful insights on how to give your partner—and yourself—the space to evolve.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/36543275
info_outline
ep 120 / Making Peace with Anger (Without Exploding)
05/01/2025
ep 120 / Making Peace with Anger (Without Exploding)
In this episode, Pam and Iona unpack how childhood experiences with explosive anger shaped their adult relationships—and their own relationship with anger. From avoiding conflict to striving for perfection, they explore what happens when we bury our feelings to keep the peace, and how that can backfire. With honesty and humor, they show how learning to sit with emotions like annoyance can lead to healthier, more direct communication. Because as Iona says, “Anger doesn’t have to look like your mother.”
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/36385780
info_outline
ep 119 / Who Are You Showing Up As—Parent, Child, or Partner?
04/16/2025
ep 119 / Who Are You Showing Up As—Parent, Child, or Partner?
In this episode, Iona and Pam dig into the powerful dynamics of over- and under-compensating in relationships and how these patterns often reflect parent-child ego states. Drawing from personal stories and therapeutic insights, they explore how mindfulness, validation, and understanding our triggers can help us shift into an adult state—where real intimacy and connection can thrive. Whether it's soothing your nervous system or showing appreciation in playful ways, it all starts with noticing how you're showing up.
/episode/index/show/relationshipdish/id/36185070