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ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT
07/01/2026
ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT
Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. ( to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs!) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and true narcissistic personality disorder, why the term narcissist has exploded in popular culture, and how labeling someone can sometimes distract us from examining our own patterns in relationships. Drawing on decades of experience working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, Carla shares why she focuses her practice on empowering the victim—not changing the narcissist. She discusses how learning to set firm, non-combative boundaries often transforms not only the relationship, but also how clients see themselves and their partners. In many cases, once people find their voice, they discover they no longer want to stay. Together, they also explore whether narcissism is nature or nurture, why children raised by narcissistic parents don't all follow the same path, the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist, and why narcissists are often quick to accuse others of being narcissistic themselves. The goal isn't to become better at diagnosing people—it's to become better at recognizing unhealthy dynamics, protecting yourself, and building relationships rooted in respect.
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