Life Be Lifing

Life Be Living sheds light on the millennial experience ranging from dating and relationships to career and personal development. Bi-weekly join your "bestie in your head" Sebastien for a full dose of laughs and enlightenment in this thing called life. Each episode supplies listeners with tools and takeaways to get to the "Bottom of Our Baggage & On Top of Our Sh!t" Find On Social Show: @LifeBeLifing Host: @iamSebastien

76: Letting Go vs Giving Up: Losing Myself, Finding Me Again 08/12/2025

75: Life After Heartbreak 01/14/2025

74: I QUIT My Job... AGAIN, Living My Dreams, And Finally Sharing My Full Career Story 12/31/2024

73: How To Heal A Broken Heart 07/13/2022

33 06/21/2022

71: How To Measure Your Success 06/15/2022

70: How To Heal Old Wounds 06/07/2022

69: Code Switching 05/31/2022

68: Self-Gaslighting 05/03/2022

67: Life Be Lifing 03/29/2022

66: Case of The Ex 03/22/2022

65: Sneaky Link 03/15/2022

64: The Gay Agenda 03/08/2022

63: Adulting Is Ghetto 03/01/2022

62: Roles In Gay Relationships 02/20/2022

61: Money & Family 02/16/2022

60: How To Stop Ghosting 01/25/2022

59: What To Do After You Come Out 01/18/2022

58: Life Update: I'm Transitioning 01/11/2022

57: Bottom Shaming 11/23/2021

56: My Brother's Keeper 10/19/2021

55: Breaking Up With Friends 10/12/2021

54: Life Update... I Need A Job 10/05/2021

53: Da Baby... TRIED IT! 08/10/2021

52: What Men Think 07/15/2021

51: Gay Sex 101 07/06/2021

51: Gay Sex 101 Before diving “in”. I’d prefer you to explore sexuality with self first. If you’re curious about things before involving another person there’s nothing wrong with using toys. Everyone finds their rhythm differently. Create your own rules and boundaries. Being LGBTQIA+ give us the freedom to do as we wish. Explore what you're comfortable with. Make sure that you’re not doing thing to keep someone or have a man like you more. Never the right reasons to do anything.. If a man cannot respect your boundaries simply put he’s not the one for you. Collect your things and move along. Sexual Titles / Roles Top Does the penetrating Usually /Typically deemed as the masciline role Men will lie about being “total tops” Fetishizing around “total tops” Bottom Is the receiver aka the one that is penetrated Bottom shaming is a thing. Misogyny plays a major factor in this. The position as the bottom is deemed as the “fem role.” (insert eye roll) Verse Prefers to dabble in both position Those who like this position will be penetrated and do the prentrating There is verse shaming as well “I’ve heard a lot of verse men say they are get passed on by bottoms because “total tops” are seen as more masculine or desirable Verse Top Predominantly tops but will occasionally bttm for the right partner A lot of men who are verse will say they’re verse top to still get action from a bttm Verse Bottom Predominantly bttms but will occasionally top for the right partner How to discover your position… Self pleasure is the first step in discovering what you like Porn is another indicator What are you drawn to when watching (are watching the top or the bottom more?) When to disclose your position First thing… never assume No matter the mannerisms of a person whether it be feminine or traditionally masculine the position can vary Typically I don’t lead with my position This includes me on the apps... I try to subtly insinuate what I am (i.e. little spoon) I prefer a conversation before Somtimes leading with your position especially online people think your looking for sex. If you are, do you. If not, do what works for you. Positions & Dating Men don’t really approach me in person If it happens usually it's with a DL man aggressively and sometime subtly propositioning for some “action” Typically men pick up on my vibes without a problem Common Things Said on Apps: No Fats, No Fems What to do when ready for sex… Ok there’s s process Cleaning / Douching Everyone's body is different and functions differently. As a bottom it's imperative to be conscious of what you’re eating when and how much Give yourself hours before Things to avoid (quinoa, leafy greens, tomato sauces, deep rich colors) What you will need… enema and warm water A Clean diet does help too I don’t believe in a hunger stick I just know when not to eat BTW I’m very regular and know my body well enough Communicate Be honest where you are with things If it's your first time… say that. If you not “into something” say that too Me I don’t swallow or “face” play Saving that for the man i marry lol Discuss your sexual health, partners, and etc. Disclosing your status and more Having boundaries isn’t a bad thing and don’t let anyone shame you about it. It's your life and your body If he can’t respect it… there’s always another man who will Me: I like sensuality, romance, a connection Set a mood with candles and a good scent Anal Lubrication is a must Take your time and breathe to pace the penetration Know what position you like to receive it Not all feel the same There will be discomfort and pain, but believe it or not you will feel pleasure eventually It's all about having the right partner that can be gentle, patient, and nurturing with you Never fear saying stop if you don’t like something or if it hurts No still means no matter the gender involved Using Your Mouth / Oral Oral sex is hella common these days We can be honest damn near everyone who is active is using their mouth to offer pleasure You can either perform falatio/head or even nibble on the booty As a bottom you too can receive oral sex A top who says he doesn’t so it either a liar or not good at it As a bottom you too may want to eat the booty too ask or slowly make your way down there If he doesn't like it he’ll let you know Again no rules Only explore what you are comfortable with and be min Toys Dildos, beads, butt plugs, flesh lights, or vegetables (whatever you’re into) sex toys have the potentential to transmit HIV when they’re shared during sex. Strap a condom on your dildo and other sex toys. Change the condom between partners. Use lube as well water base If you improvise, make sure you don’t use anything that can splinter or break. Use insertables with flared ends so objects won’t get lost inside you. Positions Missionary Doggy Style Froggy Style Reverse Cowgirl From the side From The Back They are all doable The damn near isn’t a different Common Questions Can two bottoms be in a healthy relationship together? Can one gay partner and a bisexual partner be happy together? Open relationships: Yes or no? ANNOUNCEMENTS Budget Like Me! FREE EBOOK JOIN THE COMMUNITY Super Easy! Let’s kee-kee together in the Single Living Community. This is where we can dish a discuss any and everything amongst ourselves with no judgment, join here: DROP ME A LINE Jump in my DMs and “DROP ME A LINE” a quick audio question/drop here Find On Social Guest: Show: Host: /episode/index/show/singleliving/id/19718144

50: How To Move In Fear 06/22/2021

50: How To Move In Fear Moments I’ve Been Afraid Doing the talent show at 14 (booed and laughed at) Going for Homecoming King at 17 (won) Leaving for college 18 (wanting the car to turn around) Disclosing my childhood ssexual abuse 19/20 Coming out at 19/20 Coming back to Atlanta at 22 nothing but a credit card and a dream) Breaking up with my Ex Living alone Quitting my job during a quarantine Fear is when we are the most alive. You can feel that lump in your throat, heart racing, and maybe even start to sweat. That’s the most alive you’ll ever feel when you think about it. Step 1: Identify The Fear The initial reaction to fear is to turn in the other direction Examine it See the experience of what’s in front of you Feel a live in the moment Step 2: Move In The Direction of Fear Stay grounded / Feel your feet solid on the ground You can only do your very best and learn You will always win with either what you want or what you need You have to give yourself the permission to go for it Step 3: You’re Not Supposed To Know The Way It’s a journey for a reason You’re supposed to learn along the way It’s not impossible Once you over come one mountain you’re at te bottom of another It won’t get easier, you get better I feel triumphant in all ive done because I havent stopped There’s room of course to be better, but this where I learn I constantly don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m relentless in figuring it out and giving myself a chance. ANNOUNCEMENTS Budget Like Me! FREE EBOOK JOIN THE COMMUNITY Super Easy! Let’s kee-kee together in the Single Living Community. This is where we can dish a discuss any and everything amongst ourselves with no judgment, join here: DROP ME A LINE Jump in my DMs and “DROP ME A LINE” a quick audio question/drop here Find On Social Guest: Show: Host: /episode/index/show/singleliving/id/19493528

49: Coming Out 101 06/15/2021

49: Coming Out 101 It’s PRIDE Month! There’s no rush Take your time Everyone has their process and you have the right to have your own Learn yourself… learn you are. It takes time. I’m still learning things about me You have so many levels to learn and discover about yourself Admitting It To Yourself When did you first know? Understanding your sexuality & attraction (it is a spectrum) How To Come Out Make sure your safety isn’t at risk. Looking back I did it while I knew I was about to go off to another semester at school Life was screaming at me to do it You get this urge where you don;t want limited love or how you can see people around you be happy but “you can’t” I know this still happens because I get your messages I found a strength within that said IDGAF. Everyone can go. I only want what’s real. You can have the half love stuff. Plan for safety, and anticipate consequences. Have a backup You’ll have a wide range of reactions. Relieved, shocked, understanding, sad, loving, or angry Be slow to react. Observe how people treat you and what they say. Choosing the right time. Something that's calm, private, and not rushed. Keep the conversation short. If the conversation becomes too emotional, it's okay to walk away. You won’t be able to answer every question, comfort every concern, or resolve every worry in the first conversation. Plan what you’ll say. This won’t be an easy conversation so consider writing down what you want to say. How To Respond If it goes well, communicate with love and appreciation. Use words like “Thank you for…” or “I love you so much.” Speak from the heart. If they have questions or are confused, empathize and offer information. Tell them you don’t have all the answers. Be sure to offer some resources to educate. If they care enough they will educate themselves too If they’re angry or upset, reassure, set boundaries, or end the conversation. Let them know you still love them and don’t want to fight them. Misconceptions The people you come out to easily make the situation about themselves. It has nothing to do with them. Do not allow anyone to take this moment from you Disclosing you sexuality is your business I remember being so harassed about it Now I know why. So that I can help you in your process Wishing I had someone to turn to to answer some of these questions If being gay, taught, or caught…. Would the same go for being straight. Shouldn’t I have been influenced to be straight. It's as natural as breathing. Disney movies and shows display it all the time and yet I’m still gay. So if it was taught where did it come from. Even with sexual abuse it doesn’t determine a person’s sexualtiy Common Questions: When did you know? When did you tell? Why did you tell? Who was the first person you told? Why him? (I didn’t feel safe) There was no counseling for young black gay men. No one sat you down and gave you advice Aunt Marie would talk to you and tell you things indirectly Pressures Had to make up for whatever Greg lacked in Haitians are big on appearance and perception so you feel like you had to over achieve Emotional Aspect You definitely feel a weight lifted, but the beauty of the community is there's a spectrum and everyone should be respected. If you are fem, masculine, in between, like make up, gowns, or trans. This is your life, your business. Don’t allow anyone to condemn who you are. There is beauty in individuality and it's meant to be celebrated. Honorable Mentions Its funny how (Black) families would disown the gay relative, but protect the abusing uncle. Positives: Learn to really love yourself. Felt like all you had was You. Give yourself the risk of losing everything and everybody. Your mindset was at least ‘I Have Me’ Didn’t see many openly black gay men, so believed you didnt have many options at finding love. But you believed there was more for you. Informed more about healthy sex practices. But not informed on the emotional haul it has on you. ANNOUNCEMENTS Budget Like Me! FREE EBOOK JOIN THE COMMUNITY Super Easy! Let’s kee-kee together in the Single Living Community. This is where we can dish a discuss any and everything amongst ourselves with no judgment, join here: DROP ME A LINE Jump in my DMs and “DROP ME A LINE” a quick audio question/drop here Find On Social Guest: Show: Host: /episode/index/show/singleliving/id/19488014

48: Manifestation with Jhéanell Bloom of AstroHIVE 06/08/2021

47: Life Update: 1 Year Later 06/02/2021

Life Be Lifing

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