Meeting and Convention Bingo Card

On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam’s on his way home from a conference. He began making notes a few days ago about what his years and years of attending conferences has taught him. A bingo card might be fun, he says. 

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I speak at few dozen conferences each year. My audiences are the same – thinning brown haired, slightly overweight, middle aged white guys dominate each room. These are my people. I’ve learned how they like my content delivered and I do it for them each time. If I do it well, it may get me invited back. After twenty plus years, I’ve seen hundreds of events, and  I’ve identified some meeting and convention themes that have become entirely predictable and that resonate with my people.

First – Classic rock music. It will be played as people file in on day one, during every break, and after the final keynote. It will be vanilla classic rock. Nothing too loud, nothing too rebellious. You will certainly hear “Right Now” by Van Halen at least once and see the thinning haired men mouthing “Right Now” along with Sammy Hagar, thinking they’re invisible. Maybe a flash of air guitar on their thigh. You’ll also hear “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” “Uptown Funk,” and “Happy.” “I Got A Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas will close out day one. Count on it.

Second – At least one keynoter will deliver a lesson reminding us that children are born full of curiosity only to have adults and formal schooling beat it out of them. “Why do we do this to children?” they’ll always ask. “Why can’t we grow kid’s curiosity instead of take it away?” My people will nod. This content shows up at least once in every conference, guaranteed.

Third – Multiple speakers will give examples of how Apple Computer does things differently. Of how Apple sees the world differently. On how Apple’s competitors didn’t see the iPhone coming but the evidence was everywhere. Lots and lots of references to Apple and Apple products. The speaker will extrapolate some sort of grand lesson from Apple. Count on it.

Fourth – 80% of presentations will use the word “disruption.” It’s become the meeting and convention word of the century. Someone will tell of Blockbuster being disrupted by Netflix with PowerPoint slides showing the Blockbuster logo. Of Kodak being disrupted by digital cameras, with a slide showing Kodak film next to an iPhone. Count on this, too.

Last – there will at least one mention of Warren Buffett and his investing philosophy and how his philosophy applies to much more than investing.  None of my people would dare contradict a Buffett pearl of wisdom. Speakers know quoting Buffett will get lots of thinning brown-haired heads nodding. It’s unimpeachable content.

I’ve daydreamed of making a Meeting and Convention Bingo cards with squares filled with song titles, predictable Apple stories, predictable disruption stories, and the center square being “How is everyone today? I didn’t hear you! HOW IS EVERYONE TODAY?” I’d pass them out at one of my conferences. They’d get some laughs. And I’d never ever ever ever be invited back.

I’m Cam Marston, just trying to keep it real.