340: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 3-Master the Ask
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
Release Date: 10/09/2025
343: Speak Up with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather Hansen sits down with her good friend and returning guest, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Michigan judge, author, and trailblazer best known for presiding over the Larry Nassar USA Gymnastics case. Together, they dive into Judge Aquilina’s newest book, Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts, and unpack what it truly means to embrace your voice, conquer fear, and stand in your self-worth. Drawing from her decades on the bench, her time in the military, and her role as a mentor for women, Rosemarie shares how we can turn fear into fuel, failure into wisdom, and...
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342: The Secret Formula to Being a Successful Negotiator-Ambition + Empathy with John Lowry
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator. John’s experience as a professor at Pepperdine University’s renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal. Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn’t just about tactics; it’s about managing yourself, understanding others,...
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341: Designing Your Home and Your Life. How to Use Design Principles to Get What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with award-winning interior designer Manuella Moreira, founder of Manuella Moreira Interiors, to talk about what it really means to advocate for yourself in business, creativity, and life. From her leap of faith leaving a stable job to launching her own design studio, to building a media presence with features in Forbes, The New York Times, and Architectural Digest, Manuella shares how trusting your intuition and showing up with courage can open the doors you’ve been waiting for. Together, Heather and Manuella explore how self-advocacy, boundaries, and...
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340: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 3-Master the Ask
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask. If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes. With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance,...
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339: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 2-Ask for What You Want Out Loud and With Delight
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In this second episode of Heather’s three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, she dives into one of the most transformative steps: asking for what you want out loud and with delight. Building on the foundation from Part 1 (“Know What You Want”), Heather explores why choice and energy are everything when it comes to advocating effectively. Asking for what you want isn’t just about words—it’s about how you feel when you ask. From her years as a trial attorney to her experience coaching clients, Heather reveals how shifting your beliefs can transform your results,...
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338: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work-the 3 Steps that Work. Step 1-Know What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you’re seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn’t just about asking, it’s about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it. This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals. Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to...
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337: Your Extraordinary Life-How to Live It with Simone Knego
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather speaks with Simone Knego, author of The Extraordinary Unordinary You, about what it truly takes to build confidence, embrace your story, and live fully. From adopting three children from South Korea and Ethiopia, to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, to co-hosting a podcast with her daughter, Simone’s life has been a series of extraordinary experiences that shaped her outlook on resilience, patience, and self-worth. Together, they unpack how confidence is not about being perfect, but about choosing to see yourself differently and taking small, brave steps toward...
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336: 3 Keys to Advocating Without Bragging
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather answers a powerful question from her Instagram community: How do I advocate for myself without bragging? This is a challenge so many of us, especially women, face. How do you share your gifts, your expertise, and your accomplishments with confidence and authenticity without feeling arrogant? Heather breaks it down into three core strategies that will help you shift your mindset and your approach so you can advocate with grace, clarity, and impact. In this episode, you’ll learn: Talk About the Thing, Not Yourself How externalizing your gifts makes sharing them...
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335: How to Teach and How to Learn with Dr Christie McMullen
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Dr. Christie McMullen, educator, author, speaker, and leadership expert, to explore how learning truly takes root. With a 25-year career spanning high school classrooms, adult education, and leadership training, Christie brings a wealth of experience to the conversation. Her book, Learning Can Stick: A Guide to Make Every Learning Experience Safe, Logical, Fun, and Memorable, offers strategies for teaching and leading that apply far beyond the classroom. Together, Heather and Christie dive into why everyone is a teacher, whether you’re guiding...
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334: How to Transform Stress to Work for You with Dr Rebecca Heiss
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
n today’s episode, Heather speaks with Rebecca Heiss, evolutionary biologist, speaker, and author of Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You. Rebecca shares her groundbreaking perspective on stress, not as something to eliminate, but as a force you can reframe and harness. With her Fearless Stress Formula, she teaches how to stop fighting stress and instead use it as fuel for growth, resilience, and meaning. Rebecca’s journey spans science, entrepreneurship, and personal challenge from founding an ice cream company to leading discomfort challenges and building communities. Together,...
info_outlineIn today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask.
If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes.
With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance, Heather shows you how to turn your next “ask” into a collaborative, impactful conversation that gets results.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
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What Charisma Really Is – It’s not charm or popularity, it’s the ability to get people to act.
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How to “Know Your Jury” – Why understanding your audience’s pain points, needs, and goals changes everything about how you ask.
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The Power of Believing in Your Jury – How your energy and mindset shape the way others respond to you.
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Storytelling vs. Metaphors – Why the right metaphor can connect faster and hit deeper than a long story.
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The Role of Evidence – How to collect and create evidence to strengthen your case before you ask.
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Tone Over Body Language – The science behind why tone of voice carries more weight than posture or facial expressions.
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The “What Now?” Question – What to ask if your first request doesn’t get a yes and how it helps you find your next step.
Resources & Links:
📘 Free Guide: Advocate for Yourself at Work – Download Heather’s companion workbook to put this three-part series into action.
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources
In this episode:
[00:00] Welcome to Part 3: Mastering the Art of the Ask
[01:15] What “charisma” actually means
[04:45] Knowing your jury and why it matters
[06:40] The difference between empathy and perspective
[09:10] Believing in your jury before they believe in you
[11:23] Why your words matter more than your body language
[13:45] Storytelling vs. metaphor: what connects faster
[16:10] How to collect and create evidence
[18:30] The truth about tone of voice and energy
[20:50] What to do when your ask doesn’t get a yes
[23:00] Putting it all together: the three steps of self-advocacy
💬 Quote of the Episode
“Before you worry about them believing in you, try believing in them and see what a difference that makes.”
Connect with Heather:
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Heather’s TikTok
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heather@elegantwarrior.com
The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.