loader from loading.io

353: 3 Ways to Manage Your Emotions for High-Stakes Conversations

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

Release Date: 02/09/2026

353: 3 Ways to Manage Your Emotions for High-Stakes Conversations show art 353: 3 Ways to Manage Your Emotions for High-Stakes Conversations

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

Ever feel your heart race or your voice shake the moment you need to ask for a raise, set a boundary, or give tough feedback? High-stakes conversations don't have to be high-stress battles. In this episode, communication expert Heather shares three powerful tools to help you master your emotions and handle "difficult" conversations with clarity and calm. You’ll learn how to shift your mindset from "combat" to "collaboration" using the BEAR technique - understanding how your beliefs lead to your energy, actions, and results. Heather breaks down how to stop viewing others as enemies and how to...

info_outline 352: Three Tools for Mastering 352: Three Tools for Mastering "Difficult" Conversations

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode of The Elegant Warrior, Heather breaks down why “difficult conversations” are only difficult if you believe they are. Whether you’re giving or receiving feedback, negotiating a raise, setting a boundary, or asking for help, Heather shares three practical tools to help you prepare mentally, emotionally, and strategically. Drawing from her experience as a trial attorney, communication expert, and advocate, Heather explains how your beliefs shape your energy, your actions, and ultimately your results. You’ll learn how to reframe the story you’re telling yourself,...

info_outline 351: Your Playlist, Your Enneagram, and Your Wisdom with Susan Drumm show art 351: Your Playlist, Your Enneagram, and Your Wisdom with Susan Drumm

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this episode of The Elegant Warrior, Heather welcomes leadership expert Susan Drumm to explore how music, neuroscience, and the Enneagram can transform your leadership and your life. Susan shares her fascinating journey from Harvard Law School to consulting, television, acting, and ultimately leadership development, showing how following intuition and curiosity can lead to extraordinary growth. Together, Heather and Susan dive into practical tools for recognizing patterns, disrupting limiting behaviors, and building new mental “playlists” that support empowerment, confidence, and...

info_outline 350: What is Motivational Interviewing and Why Should I Care? With Kim Bisset show art 350: What is Motivational Interviewing and Why Should I Care? With Kim Bisset

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Kim Bisset to explore Motivational Interviewing and why it is such a powerful tool for communication, leadership, coaching, and advocacy. Rather than relying on pressure, persuasion, or fixing, Motivational Interviewing focuses on curiosity, collaboration, and helping people uncover their own reasons for change. Drawing from Kim’s expertise and Heather’s background in law, coaching, and healthcare communication, this conversation breaks down what Motivational Interviewing really is, what it is not, and why it works so well in high stakes...

info_outline 349: Does Thought Beat Action? Manifesting, Preparing and Acting for 2026 show art 349: Does Thought Beat Action? Manifesting, Preparing and Acting for 2026

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather challenges one of the most popular beliefs in personal development: that mindset alone creates change. While visualization, manifestation, and positive thinking all have value, Heather explains why none of them work without action. Joined by frequent guest Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Heather explores how thinking, dreaming, preparing, and acting each play a role in real transformation and why action is ultimately what creates momentum. Together, they unpack the limits of visualization and manifestation when they are not paired with effort, practice, and follow...

info_outline 348: THIS is Way More Important Than Mindset! Why Action Matters More Than Intention show art 348: THIS is Way More Important Than Mindset! Why Action Matters More Than Intention

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather challenges one of the most popular ideas in personal development: that mindset alone creates change. While visualization, manifestation, and positive thinking all have value, she explains why none of them work without action. Drawing from her own journey with weight loss, running marathons, writing books, and building a career in advocacy and communication, Heather shows how real transformation only happens when thinking turns into doing. Backed by research, neuroscience, and practical tools, this episode is a powerful reminder that intention without action keeps...

info_outline 347: Unfolded - How to Believe in Yourself and Your Ability to Fly show art 347: Unfolded - How to Believe in Yourself and Your Ability to Fly

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather welcomes authors, leadership consultants, and husband and wife team Dr. Linda Schubring and Brian Schubring to explore the deeper meaning of identity, transformation, and trusting your inner map. Together, they discuss their bestselling book Unfolded: Lessons in Transformation from an Origami Crane, a powerful allegory that invites readers to rediscover their inner wisdom and reshape how they show up in the world. Through stories of leadership coaching, personal reflection, and creative collaboration, Heather, Linda, and Brian unpack how uncertainty, change, and...

info_outline 346: The New Power Pose-and How to Use It to Win show art 346: The New Power Pose-and How to Use It to Win

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather invites you to rethink everything you’ve been taught about power poses, confidence, and presence. While the classic “hands-on-hips” stance is often linked to authority, this episode reveals a far more effective and far more compassionate power move: simply sitting down. Drawing from real experiences in leadership, advocacy, and high-stakes conversations, Heather shares how lowering yourself to someone else’s level can transform interactions, build trust, and leave a lasting impact. From courtroom moments to everyday leadership lessons, you’ll see why...

info_outline 345: How to Avoid Being Scammed by AI, Other, and Yourself show art 345: How to Avoid Being Scammed by AI, Other, and Yourself

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather Hansen breaks down one of the most important skills we all need in a world shaped by rapid information, social media trends, artificial intelligence, and constant noise: the ability to avoid being fooled, misled, or scammed. As a trial attorney who spent decades cross-examining witnesses and uncovering the truth, Heather Hansen shares a simple but powerful four-part process you can use to stay discerning, think critically, and protect yourself from false ideas, misleading content, and even your own unexamined thoughts. Whether it is viral AI clips, trending online...

info_outline 344: How to Show Compassion show art 344: How to Show Compassion

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather Hansen explores one of the most powerful tools we have for connection, credibility, and healing: compassion. Drawing from research, courtroom experience, and two decades defending healthcare providers, Heather Hansen breaks down the real meaning of compassion and the specific actions that genuinely make people feel seen, heard, and supported. She also shares new insights from recent medical research on how compassion improves patient outcomes, reduces burnout for healthcare providers, and strengthens every relationship in your life. Whether you are a leader,...

info_outline
 
More Episodes

Ever feel your heart race or your voice shake the moment you need to ask for a raise, set a boundary, or give tough feedback? High-stakes conversations don't have to be high-stress battles.

In this episode, communication expert Heather shares three powerful tools to help you master your emotions and handle "difficult" conversations with clarity and calm. You’ll learn how to shift your mindset from "combat" to "collaboration" using the BEAR technique - understanding how your beliefs lead to your energy, actions, and results. Heather breaks down how to stop viewing others as enemies and how to use a simple linguistic trick used by top athletes to stay objective under pressure.

Whether you are navigating workplace confidence or strengthening personal relationships, these tools will help you advocate for yourself with charisma and ease.

 

 

✨ In this video, you’ll learn how to:

  • Define what advocating really means.

  • Break down your goals into actionable, strategic steps.

  • Overcome fear and guilt about wanting more at work.

  • Identify the right people to ask for opportunities or resources.

  • Strengthen your confidence by following through on your commitments.

 

 

💡 Heather introduces three core tools you can use immediately:

  • Persuade yourself to believe something different: Use the "ladder of beliefs" to shift from fear to opportunity without gaslighting yourself.

  • Be A.G.I.L.E.: Learn to "Assume Good Intentions, Love Everyone" to change your energy and get better results.

  • Practice Illeism: Use the psychological power of speaking about yourself in the third person to remove emotional triggers.

 

 

 

 

🕒 Chapters: 

00:00 Introduction: Handling emotions in high-stakes conversations

01:23 The BEAR framework: beliefs, energy, actions, results

02:00 Tool #1: Persuade yourself to believe something different

03:05 Using a ladder of beliefs (without gaslighting yourself)

04:18 Collecting vs. creating evidence for new beliefs

05:31 Tool #2: Be agile - assume good intentions, love everyone

06:28 Seeing others as teammates, not enemies

09:39 Tool #3: Illeism - speaking about yourself in the third person

12:08 Recap: the three tools for emotional control

13:08 What’s coming next + listener invitation

 

 

📝Related Resources:

📘 Book: Advocate to Win by Heather Hansen https://www.amazon.com/Advocate-Win-Tools-What-Want/dp/1642936634 

🧠 Book: Chatter by Ethan Kross https://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Voice-Head-Matters-Harness/dp/0525575235

📗Book: Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You by Ethan Kross
https://www.amazon.com/Shift-Managing-Your-Emotions-So-Manage/dp/B0D5YZ42FL/ 

 

 

💬 Join the Conversation: Which of these three tools do you need most for your next big meeting? Let us know in the comments!

 

 

👍 If this video helped you:

  • Like it to support the channel

  • Subscribe for more communication tips and high-stakes conversation strategies

  • Share it with a friend who is preparing for a difficult talk

 

 

SEO Keywords: self advocacy at work, communication skills, workplace confidence, how to speak up at work, career growth, advocate for yourself, difficult conversations, negotiation skills, personal development, Heather Hansen, Elegant Warrior Podcast.

 

 

 

Connect with Heather:



The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.