The Parenting Long Game: Finding the Problem Under the Problem
Release Date: 06/24/2026
Neurodiversity Podcast
Today's episode is a heartfelt conversation about the importance of helping neurodivergent children understand themselves and their brain profile, and how this understanding can foster confidence and self-advocacy. Emily talks with Dr. Liz Angoff about the need for transparent communication with children about their diagnoses, and the use of relatable metaphors to explain complex concepts. They discuss collaborative approaches in assessments, the challenges of co-occurring diagnoses, and the role of parents in supporting their children. How can families find practitioners who align with...
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When people with ADHD struggle to start, return to, or finish a task, their inaction is frequently mislabeled as laziness, poor motivation, or chronic procrastination. In reality, the obstacle is rarely about logistics or effort. It stems from the emotional pre-work required just to get to the starting line. Brendan Mahan, an ADHD coach, speaker, host of the ADHD Essentials podcast, and author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful, joins Emily to talk about the emotional barriers that turn ordinary demands into overwhelming roadblocks. TAKEAWAYS Task paralysis is driven primarily by emotional...
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When raising or teaching gifted, twice-exceptional, and differently wired children, adults often face the emotional whiplash of asynchronous development. A child might engage in deep, high-level discussions one moment, only to struggle with basic emotional regulation, task initiation, or practical organization the next. Colleen Kessler, an educator, gifted specialist, author of The Homeschool Advantage, and host of the Raising Lifelong Learners podcast, joins Emily to discuss why supporting neurodivergent kids requires shifting away from one-size-fits-all expectations and becoming an active...
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When supporting neurodivergent kids, adults often struggle to balance when to gently challenge a child and when to pull back to prevent nervous system overload. Pushing too hard risks chronic distress and shutdown, but overprotecting can unintentionally create learned helplessness and limit opportunities for growth. Emily welcomes Dr. Emily King, a child psychologist, former school psychologist, and author of The Neurodivergent Learner, to talk about how parents and educators can work together to read a child's true capacity and build authentic engagement in school and at home. TAKEAWAYS ...
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It's easy to view academic difficulties and mental health challenges as two separate issues when a child struggles. However, the emotional toll of an unaddressed learning difference often leads to chronic anxiety, low self-esteem, and a loss of motivation. Dr. Karen Wilson is a pediatric neuropsychologist and the host of the Diverse Thinking-Different Learning Podcast, and she joins Emily this week to talk about the deep overlap between learning differences and emotional well-being. TAKEAWAYS Learning differences and mental health challenges are deeply connected, with neurodivergent kids...
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As public understanding of neurodiversity continues to grow, evaluators face a shifting landscape when assessing clients whose traits don't match traditional, less nuanced pictures of autism. Many individuals—especially women and girls—learn to navigate daily social interactions through pattern recognition and learned strategies rather than intuitive processing, masking their traits enough to miss early identification. Dr. Jeremy Sharp, a licensed psychologist, founder of the Colorado Center for Assessment, and host of the Testing Psychologist Podcast, joins Emily to unpack the realities...
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Often, autistic girls are called shy, introverted, perfectionistic, confused, anything BUT autistic. There is a pervasive impression, even in the medical community, that autism occurs in boys vastly more often than girls. The result is, autistic girls are missing out on services and tools that are available to them. Holly Blanc Moses is a therapist, and the host of the Autism ADHD Podcast, and she joins Emily Kircher-Morris in this encore presentation to talk about missing autism in girls. You can for our upcoming continuing education course for mental health professionals, Clinical...
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The baseline premise of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) rests on the fundamental principle that communication is an inherent human right rather than a privilege to be earned through baseline cognitive compliance. Too often, school systems and clinical providers inadvertently stall access to verbal alternatives by requiring non-speaking students to prove communicative readiness or complete repetitive testing metrics. Brenda Del Monte, an AAC specialist and author, alongside Sarah Kinsella, an assistive technology specialist, join Emily Kircher-Morris to discuss ways to reverse...
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When an autistic child or teen consistently pushes back against daily expectations, traditional parenting and teaching methods often default to high-pressure enforcement. This pattern routinely triggers escalating defensive behaviors, creating a continuous loop of friction that strains the entire family system. In this encore conversation, Sandra McConnell, an advocate known as the PDA Mama Bear, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to unpack the nuanced framework of pervasive demand avoidance and explore how it reshapes typical social navigation. They talk about ways to shift the focus away from...
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Today we talk about how parent reactivity, historical family patterns, and systemic overwhelm inadvertently trap families in cyclical power struggles. Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Diane Dempster, a professional coach, author, and co-founder of ImpactParents, to talk about how urgency often drives parents out of an objective problem-solving mindset, and toward reactionary behaviors that over-manage their kids, rather than supporting their neurological growth. They talk about the family as an interdependent system, and about how interpersonal traps of the traditional drama triangle can cause...
info_outlineToday we talk about how parent reactivity, historical family patterns, and systemic overwhelm inadvertently trap families in cyclical power struggles. Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Diane Dempster, a professional coach, author, and co-founder of ImpactParents, to talk about how urgency often drives parents out of an objective problem-solving mindset, and toward reactionary behaviors that over-manage their kids, rather than supporting their neurological growth.
They talk about the family as an interdependent system, and about how interpersonal traps of the traditional drama triangle can cause family members to cycle through the roles of villain, victim, and rescuer. They also discuss the ImpactParents framework, which categorizes parenting modalities into four intentional roles: director, collaborator, supporter, and champion. By learning these roles, parents can safely allow productive struggle while maintaining connection.
TAKEAWAYS
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Responses to acute childhood dysregulation are often heavily influenced by an internalized fear of the future, childhood parenting histories, and secondary social pressures.
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Executive functioning challenges can often be lessened by a clear shift from top-down behavior modification rules to collaborative family agreements.
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Effective parent scaffolding can be structured across four situational modalities: the director, the collaborator, the supporter, and the champion.
The upcoming CE training Emily talks about on this week’s episode features Dr. Christopher Willard, and is titled, “The New 3 R’s: Mindfulness-Based Resilience, Regulation, and Relationships.” The training is live online Friday, July 10 from 2:00 to 3:30 pm Eastern, and is approved for 1.5 APA and NBCC continuing education hours. Everyone who registers can earn those credits by watching the event live, or can choose to watch it later. Register here.
Diane Dempster, MHSA, CPC, PCC is a professional coach, speaker, and co-founder of ImpactParents.com and ImpactADHD®, where she helps families navigate ADHD with a practical, neuro-informed approach. A 2025 CHADD Hall of Fame recipient, Diane blends behavior management with change management to empower parents and caregivers to support kids, teens, and young adults in building independence and long-term success.
Diane is the co-host of the Parenting with Impact podcast and co-author of Parenting ADHD Now!. Through her coaching, teaching, and speaking, she guides families toward sustainable, inside-out change, helping them create more connected, effective, and supportive environments for neurodivergent individuals.
BACKGROUND READING
Diane’s website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube
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If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.