Brothers In Grief: Nora Gross On Cumulative Loss & Gun Violence
Release Date: 06/26/2026
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Grief Out Loud
What if we thought about death not as something that needs to be handed over to institutions, but as something that communities could face together? In this episode we talk with Crystal Meneses, a death worker, spiritual counselor, hospice chaplain, artist, musician, and longtime community caregiver. Crystal’s path into death work began with watching a recording of her grandfather’s funeral in the Philippines, which sparked questions around being able to one day provide a similar ceremony for her father. Questions that inspired her work to help us rethink how we...
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Holding The Both/And - Steph Tupper On Grieving Her Children
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In 2022, Steph Tupper’s two older children, Ali and Joe, were killed in a car crash. Ali was 16 and Joe was 14. Four years later, Steph is still learning how to live with the reality of losing her children while continuing to parent her youngest daughter. In this episode, Steph talks openly about the devastating night she learned Ali and Joe had died, the ways she continues to feel connected to them, and the complicated process of building a life around an absence that will never go away. She shares what she has learned about community, judgment from others - and herself, parenting...
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The Grief We Carry, The Love We Keep - Shanda McManus, MD
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When physician and writer was fourteen, her mother died after living with ovarian cancer. Three years later, her grandmother - the person who became home after that loss - was killed by a drunk driver. Then, while Shanda was in medical school, her younger brother Monir was murdered on Christmas Eve. For years, surviving meant staying busy. Planning funerals. Managing paperwork. Pushing forward. The grief itself was boxed up, held in place by what Shanda describes as an emotional tourniquet. It kept her moving, but it also kept her separated from memories of her mother, grandmother,...
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How To Support Kids Through Grief – Jessica Correnti, MS, CCLS
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When it comes to children and grief, there's a lot we misunderstand. Adults might think they are either resilient and unaffected, too young to understand, or irreparably broken by the death of someone in their life. In reality though, their experiences of grief can be just as profound and complex as those of the adults around them. In this episode of Grief Out Loud, Jana talks with Certified Child Life Specialist about what children actually need when someone they love dies. Drawing from...
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Learning From Grief - David Ferrugio On Memory, Meaning, And Moving Forward
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For many, September 11th is a shared, historical tragedy. But for today's guest, it is a personal anniversary - the day his father died. David Ferrugio was twelve years old when his dad was killed in the World Trade Center. Twenty-five years later, his grief continues to unfold - from recently sitting with his father's forensic file at the 9/11 Memorial to hosting his own podcast, DEAD Talks, where he invites people into honest conversations about death, grief, and what it means to keep living. In this conversation, David reflects on carrying his private grief through such...
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Brothers In Grief: Nora Gross On Cumulative Loss & Gun Violence
Grief Out Loud
What happens when grief isn't an exception, but a constant presence? In this episode, Jana talks with researcher and educator about her book, , which follows the two years she spent embedded in a Philadelphia boys' high school where students were grieving repeated losses from gun violence. Through interviews, observation, and simply showing up, Nora witnessed how grief shapes friendships, school life, ideas about the future, and the social constraints Black boys face when it comes to grief. Nora also shares how her own experiences of grief - including the death of her mother from cancer...
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It's All Hard - Sudden vs Anticipated Loss
Grief Out Loud
Is it harder when someone dies suddenly, or when you know their death is coming? It’s a question that comes up often in grief spaces, and there’s no easy answer. Both are hard - just in different ways. In this episode, Aimee Craig talks about grieving the deaths of both of her parents under very different circumstances. Aimee’s dad died suddenly when she was 23, during a season of major life transitions. Nearly two decades later, her mom died after living with cancer for many years, including five years with a terminal diagnosis. Aimee...
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How to Talk With Children About Grief & Loss
Grief Out Loud
How do you talk with children about death, dying, and grief - especially when the truth feels impossible to say? Most adults feel unprepared to tell a child that someone in their life has an advanced serious illness or has died. There’s often a deep desire to protect kids from pain, avoid overwhelming them, or wanting to wait until there’s a “better” time to talk. But children often already sense that something has changed. In this episode, Jana is joined by Dougy Center colleagues Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, M.A. and Sat Kaur Khalsa, M.S.W. to talk about how adults can approach these...
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What Happens When You Stop Outrunning Grief? Camila Crews & Sorry For Your Loss (Cards)
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Have you ever found yourself trying to outrun grief? That’s what did when she was 19 and her mother died. Twenty years later, following the heartbreaking disappearance and death of her father, Camila stopped running and started feeling. Unable to just keep pushing through, she had to face her grief and learn how to care for herself in the process. Facing her grief inspired Camila to start , an initiative to help people better understand grief and show up for those who are mourning. Centering the experiences of Black and Brown communities, Sorry for Your Loss (Cards)...
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When "It's Not Your Fault" Falls Flat - Grief & Guilt
Grief Out Loud
In December of 2021, Sawyer was halfway through their final year of college in a world that was still reeling from the pandemic. Home for the holidays, Sawyer got the heartbreaking news that their older brother, Jason, had died by suicide - a before-and-after moment that continues to reverberate today. Sawyer shares their nuanced perspective on grief, delving into how mental health, incarceration, and other systemic barriers impacted Jason's life and death. We also explore how the phrase, "It's not your fault," while well-intentioned, can leave little space for those who are grieving to truly...
info_outlineWhat happens when grief isn't an exception, but a constant presence?
In this episode, Jana talks with researcher and educator Nora Gross about her book, Brothers in Grief: The Hidden Toll of Gun Violence on Black Boys and Their Schools, which follows the two years she spent embedded in a Philadelphia boys' high school where students were grieving repeated losses from gun violence. Through interviews, observation, and simply showing up, Nora witnessed how grief shapes friendships, school life, ideas about the future, and the social constraints Black boys face when it comes to grief.
Nora also shares how her own experiences of grief - including the death of her mother from cancer while Nora was finishing her Ph.D. program and the deaths of three students in her first year of teaching—influenced the questions she researched and continue to shape her understanding of grief today.
We discuss:
- How cumulative loss changes young people's expectations for the future.
- Why grief often remains invisible in schools, even when nearly everyone has experienced loss.
- The unique pressures Black boys face around expressing - and not expressing - emotion.
- The difference between the "easy hard," the "hard hard," and the "hidden hard" phases of communal grief, particularly in a school setting.
- Why curiosity, rather than fixing, may be one of the most powerful ways we can support young people who are grieving.
- How listening deeply can become an act of care.
Nora Gross is a sociologist of youth, race, and education and a documentary filmmaker. She is Assistant Professor of Education at Barnard College, Columbia University and received her PhD from the University of Pennsylvania in Sociology and Education.
Nora uses qualitative, multimodal, and participatory methods to understand the ways youth develop and protect their inner lives in the face of external constraints. She has published on issues related to racialized masculinity for both Black and white boys, grief and loss, political polarization in schools, teens’ social media use, youth resistance and emotional solidarity, and school supports for vulnerable youth. She has also produced several documentary films focusing on the lives of Black boys and men.
Nora is the author of the award-winning ethnographic book, Brothers in Grief: The Hidden Toll of Gun Violence on Black Boys and Their Schools (University of Chicago Press, 2024), as well as co-editor of Care-Based Methodologies: Reimagining Qualitative Research with Youth in US Schools (Bloomsbury Academic, 2022).
You can learn more at www.noragross.com & https://www.brothersingrief.com/