Why Don't They Just Leave?
The Courageous Journey
“Why don't they just leave?” It is one of the most common questions asked about people experiencing domestic violence—and I believe it may be one of the wrong questions. Last week on The Courageous Journey, we talked about how behavior is information and looked beyond labels like difficult, manipulative, attention-seeking, angry, noncompliant, lazy, and self-sabotaging. In this episode, I take that same curiosity into a behavior society often judges incredibly harshly: staying in—or returning to—an abusive relationship. But this conversation isn't only about domestic violence. After...
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Behavior Is Information: What the Labels Never Explained
The Courageous Journey
What if the labels we give people describe the behavior we see—but completely miss what is happening underneath it? I've been called lazy, angry, manipulative, attention-seeking, self-sabotaging, noncompliant, and difficult. And here's the uncomfortable truth: at different points in my life, some of my behaviors gave people very good reasons to use those words. I hurt people. I pushed healthy people away. I created chaos. I lied to avoid confrontation. I looked for validation in unhealthy ways. I missed appointments, questioned providers, struggled to follow through, and sometimes...
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What Is Going On Inside of Me Because of What Happened to Me?
The Courageous Journey
What if the behavior we see on the outside is only part of the story? Last week on The Courageous Journey, I talked about changing the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?” and eventually, “What happened inside of me because of what happened to me?” This week, we start answering that question. Trauma isn’t only something that happened in the past. Our experiences can influence how our brains and bodies respond in the present—including our nervous system, perception of safety, attention, memory, emotional responses,...
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Reframing the Question: Why I Stopped Asking What's Wrong With Me?
The Courageous Journey
Reframing the Question: I Stopped Asking “What’s Wrong With Me?” For years, I asked questions that already assumed something was wrong with me. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t I remember? Why did my brain and body respond the way they did? Why couldn’t I just make myself do things that seemed so simple for everyone else? Over time, I began learning to ask different questions. Instead of only asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I began asking, “What happened to me?” Eventually, that became an even deeper question: “What happened inside me because of...
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I Don't Want to Be an Influencer. I Want to Leave Breadcrumbs
The Courageous Journey
I Don't Want to Be an Influencer. I Want to Leave Breadcrumbs. For a long time, I thought I needed to figure out my “lane.” Was I supposed to talk about childhood trauma? Domestic violence? Brain injury? Strangulation? The nervous system? Healing? The problem was that none of those things felt separate to me. Then I realized something even bigger: I don't want to be an influencer. When I first became more intentional about social media, I found myself thinking about followers, reach, monetization and how people build careers online. Somewhere along the way, I started believing that maybe I...
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Maybe I Was Never Broken: What Healing Is Teaching Me About Shame, Survival & Who I Really Am
The Courageous Journey
Maybe I Was Never Broken: What Healing Is Teaching Me About Shame, Survival & Who I Really Am What if some of the things you've spent years believing were wrong with you weren't evidence that you were broken at all? What if they were adaptations? In this episode of The Courageous Journey, I reflect on something that happened while speaking at the National Domestic Violence Hotline Conference in Texas. I walked into a room I had been invited into—and still found myself wondering whether I belonged. I noticed everyone else's degrees, credentials, titles and accomplishments. I...
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Paula Interviews Dr. Mike Hennes of The Neural Connection
The Courageous Journey
Paula Hello Everyone and welcome to The Courageous Journey. I have an exciting episode with for you today. I am actually going to be talking with doctor Mike Hennes from The Neural Connection. He is the doctor that if you've been seeing any of my social media, or you've listened to me talk about in any of my speaking engagements, I often refer to him as doctor Mike. And the person that I have worked with, I had get a lot of questions about my care with him, so I brought him on, especially since I'll be speaking at the National conference on the hotline Conference against Domestic Violence here...
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More Than the Power of One
The Courageous Journey
Hello everyone, and welcome to The Courageous Journey. My name is Paula and I am so excited that you are here. I just want to tell you that this is an off the cuff, not planned episode. You know, you complain as much as you want, but sometimes life just gives you what you need to talk about. And you have heard me talk. If you've been following me for any length of time about like, the power of one, and sometimes it's one person. Sometimes that's one conversation. And I know that this is going to not be a popular topic with some people, but I kind of want to just talk today about the power of...
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I Finally Found My Voice
The Courageous Journey
This latest episode is sharing with you how I think I finally found my voice, why everything is changing, and why it all comes back to one simple truth.... And welcome to the Courageous Journey podcast. This episode is going to be, I think I finally found my voice and why everything is changing and why it all comes back to one simple truth. Today is going to be a little bit different. I'm not teaching neuroscience. I'm not talking about trauma. I'm not diving into brain injury. Instead, I want to tell you about something that has quietly been happening behind the scenes over the last...
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The Beliefs That Hurt Worse Than The Abuse
The Courageous Journey
The Beliefs That Hurt Me More Than the Abuse For years, I believed the abuse itself was what kept me stuck. Looking back, I see something different. In this episode, I share one of the biggest breakthroughs in my healing journey: it wasn't just the traumatic events that shaped my life—it was the beliefs and survival patterns my brain developed because of them. Using a simple story about trimming trees around my property, we explore why healing isn't about erasing our past. It's about un...
info_outlineThe Beliefs That Hurt Me More Than the Abuse
For years, I believed the abuse itself was what kept me stuck. Looking back, I see something different.
In this episode, I share one of the biggest breakthroughs in my healing journey: it wasn't just the traumatic events that shaped my life—it was the beliefs and survival patterns my brain developed because of them.
Using a simple story about trimming trees around my property, we explore why healing isn't about erasing our past. It's about understanding how trauma shaped our brains and intentionally rewiring the pathways that no longer serve us.
Together, we'll discuss:
- Why childhood beliefs can shape our identity for decades
- The difference between being trauma-informed and becoming brain-aware
- Why survivors often repeat unhealthy patterns, relationships, and addictions
- How understanding the brain became the missing piece in my own recovery
- Why there is hope for lasting healing through neuroplasticity and intentional rewiring
Whether you're a survivor, someone who loves a survivor, or a professional seeking a deeper understanding of trauma, I hope this conversation encourages you to look beyond behavior and begin asking a different question:
What happened to your brain because of what happened to you?
Because the same brain that learned survival can also learn healing.
About The Courageous Journey
The Courageous Journey is a podcast exploring the connection between trauma, brain health, and healing through the lens of lived experience, neuroscience, faith, and hope. Each episode helps survivors and professionals better understand the brain so healing and lasting change become possible.
Disclaimer:
The content shared on this podcast and YouTube channel is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I, Paula Walters, am not a licensed medical professional, and the information provided should not be construed as medical advice. I am sharing my personal journey of healing—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual—based on my own experiences and the research I have found to be beneficial for me.
Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making any decisions regarding your health or treatment options. What works for me may not work for you, and it is important to find a path that is right for your unique needs and circumstances.