The Awakened Woman and The Unaccountable Man Dance: Why Knowing the Pattern Isn't Enough to Break It
Release Date: 07/30/2026
The Awakening Women Show
You've done the therapy. Read the books. Taken the courses. You can name the dynamic, diagnose the pattern, and explain exactly what's wrong — probably better than most professionals could. So why hasn't any of it changed your relationship? In this episode, we're getting honest about the gap between insight and action — the place where so many high-achieving women get stuck. Not because they lack awareness, but because awareness was never the thing that was going to save them. We're unpacking the "Rising Him" trap — why the same competence that built your career and your healing is the...
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Episode Summary Love after divorce doesn't work the way it did the first time — and no one tells you that. This episode breaks down why midlife love isn't a fairytale, it's a negotiation. Why your partner isn't going to transform into someone new, he's going to become a more honest version of who he already is. And why real intimacy at this stage isn't about butterflies it's about honest and full disclosure. If you're navigating dating, partnership, or remarriage after divorce, this episode gives you the language for what you're actually building, and the questions you need to be asking...
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In this episode, I cover: What the Law of Polarity actually says about energy, contrast, and charge — and why relationships without it go flat Jung's anima and animus: the masculine within the woman, the feminine within the man, and why knowing which one leads matters What the wild teaches us about polarity — from lionesses to wolves — and why nothing in nature survives on two things leading in the same direction at once Why a strong woman doesn't need a smaller man — she needs one secure enough that her strength makes him rise instead of react The truth about misogyny: why a...
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The Awakening Women Show
If you're facing a hard decision in relationships, career, business, or moving, empty nest changes, and it all feels like it's happening all at once, this episode is for you. J
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Work with me: Join the Collective - Get full vault access to all of my signature processes, methodologies, and the End The Cycle program women from all over the world have taken and radically changed their lives in a short period of time.
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Part of awakening is seeing when a relationship has fixable issues, and when it's not going to change due to deeply ingrained ways of being in one, or both partners. Break your patterns of self-betrayal, overexplaining, and overthinking in your relationship for good. Join the Collective: The Rapid Relationship Pattern Assessment ($111) Get it here: Connect with Leanne on Social Media: Instagram: Facebook: Youtube: and Website: Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years...
info_outlineThe Awakening Women Show
Break your patterns of self-betrayal, overexplaining, and overthinking in your relationship for good. Join the Collective: The Rapid Relationship Pattern Assessment ($111) Get it here: Connect with Leanne on Social Media: Instagram: Facebook: Youtube: and Website: Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years of experience counselling and coaching women. This podcast is for high-achieving CEO, entrepreneurial women who refuse to settle in a life that looks successful on...
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If you're facing empty-nest, are dealing with menopause, things changing, and are finding you feel alone in your marriage, this episode is for you. Break your patterns of self-betrayal, overexplaining, and overthinking in your relationship for good. Join the Collective: The Rapid Relationship Pattern Assessment ($111) Get it here: Connect with Leanne on Social Media: Instagram: Facebook: Youtube: and Website: Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years of...
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Join the Collective Community for Awakening Women Follow me on Instagram @awakeningwomenofficial Break your patterns of self-betrayal, overexplaining, and overthinking in your relationship for good. Join the Collective: Connect with Leanne on Social Media: Instagram: Facebook: Youtube: and Website: Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years of experience counselling and coaching women. This podcast is for high-achieving CEO, entrepreneurial women who refuse to settle in...
info_outlineYou've done the therapy. Read the books. Taken the courses. You can name the dynamic, diagnose the pattern, and explain exactly what's wrong — probably better than most professionals could. So why hasn't any of it changed your relationship?
In this episode, we're getting honest about the gap between insight and action — the place where so many high-achieving women get stuck. Not because they lack awareness, but because awareness was never the thing that was going to save them.
We're unpacking the "Rising Him" trap — why the same competence that built your career and your healing is the exact thing keeping you stuck in a relationship that isn't changing. We're talking about what's really underneath staying when you know better: not a lack of clarity, but a ceiling on what you believe you're allowed to have. And we're naming the part almost nobody says out loud — that some of you aren't addicted to him. You're addicted to the chaos.
This one's for the woman doing everything right, holding it all together, and still watching nothing actually change — in herself or in her relationship.
In This Episode:
- Why intellectual awareness of a relationship pattern doesn't equal freedom from it
- The "Raising Him" trap — how high-achieving women unconsciously turn their partner into the next project to complete
- The difference between knowing a pattern in your head vs. knowing it in your body
- Why the real question isn't "why do I understand this and still stay" but "what do I actually believe I'm allowed to have"
- The physiological addiction to chaos, adrenaline, and intensity — and why it has nothing to do with weakness or low self-worth
- How intermittent reinforcement keeps the cycle running, and why leaving can feel like withdrawal instead of relief
- What it actually takes to break the pattern — and why it's not more insight
Quote to Sit With:
"The pattern doesn't break at awareness. It breaks when you can tolerate what real peace feels like in your body long enough to stop mistaking calm for absence."
Who This Episode Is For:
The woman who's done the inner work, can recite her own patterns fluently, and still finds herself in the same relational dynamic — high-achieving, self-aware, exhausted from trying to rise someone else to her level while quietly wondering why none of it is landing as actual change.
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