#042: If I don't manipulate--how do I get my kids to do the right things? PART 2
Release Date: 04/17/2019
#177: Life Is Not a Game — A Conversation with Dr. Ben Edwards
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if health isn’t something we manufacture by getting all the right things right? Dr. Ben Edwards has spent years asking questions that move upstream—from symptoms to root causes, from interventions to terrain, and ultimately from design to the Designer. In this conversation, Dr. Ben joins Doug and Janet to explore what changes when we stop approaching our bodies—and our lives—as problems to solve and begin paying attention to the design that was already there before we arrived. The conversation begins with health, but it doesn’t stay there. What does it mean to trust the design...
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#176: The Story Maps: A Deeper Dive
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if receiving a new identity from Jesus isn't the same thing as learning to inhabit a new world? When we first drew the Story Maps, they helped us see something we couldn't name before: two very different stories are available to us. One is shaped by scarcity, certainty, perfection, competition, and the exhausting responsibility of trying to be our own source. The other begins with a very different reality: God is our Source, the Kingdom of God is at hand, and we are invited to receive and participate in the life He is already giving. But we've kept living with the maps—and they've kept...
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LIF #175: Gina Birkemeier: The Story We Inherited Isn't the Only Story Available to Us
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if some of the ways we've learned to move through the world aren't simply “who we are,” but adaptations to stories we inherited long before we knew we were living inside them? In this episode of Love Is Fearless, Doug and Janet sit down with therapist, author, and speaker Gina Birkemeier for a conversation about shame, inherited stories, generational patterns, healing, curiosity, control, and the courage to see our stories differently. Gina reminds us that the strategies we once developed to stay safe and connected can eventually keep us moving at a pace that makes it difficult to see...
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#174: Why Hadn't We Been Living This Way Before?
LOVE IS FEARLESS
In our last episode, we shared the discovery that has been quietly reshaping our lives: what if Jesus is inviting us, not simply to believe in the Kingdom, but to inhabit our Father's world? Once we began living that way, another question emerged:a Why hadn't we been living this way before? That question eventually gave birth to the Story Maps. We didn't create the maps because we wanted a framework. They grew out of months of discovering what it felt like to trust God's design and participate in the ordinary rhythms of the world He made. Morning light. Movement. Real food. Rest....
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#173: We Didn't Know There Was Another World
LOVE IS FEARLESS
It's been six months since we last recorded an episode of Love Is Fearless. We thought we were simply taking a break. Looking back, we think we were being invited into a deeper discovery. In this conversation, we share why this season of the podcast feels different. Rather than offering another framework or a collection of answers, we're learning to notice something we had overlooked for years: what if the Kingdom of God is not merely something we believe in, but the reality we were made to inhabit? Together, we explore why the ordinary world has become more interesting than ever—why Jesus...
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#172: E is for Energy, Not Powerlessness: Why Women Are Exhausted and What God Offers Instead
LOVE IS FEARLESS
If you've been told your exhaustion is a personal failure — that better boundaries or better self-care would fix it — this episode is for you. Because what if the problem isn't how you manage your energy? What if the problem is where it's going? Janet and Doug name a pattern that lives quietly inside countless women's lives: the hidden energy tax of narrative management. The relentless, often unconscious work of holding your own pain and protecting others from the weight of their impact — simultaneously, in the same breath, sometimes in the same sentence. Janet tells her own story in...
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#171: D is for Dreams: When Survival Replaces Growth
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Introduction: "Pain has a way of interrupting purpose. And when pain lasts long enough, survival replaces growth." This devastating reality defines most of the systems we've built—medical, educational, even in the church. We've become really good at helping people survive, but we've stopped dreaming about helping them flourish. Today we're exploring the difference between empire dreams (optimizing within broken systems) and kingdom dreams (believing God has designed something better than we can imagine). You're in the right place if: You've settled into helping your kids just cope with...
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#170: The Neuroscience of Agency: How Self-Brain Surgery Restores Family Freedom
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Guest: Dr. Lee Warren, Board-Certified Neurosurgeon Introduction: What if you could change your brain by changing your mind? Board-certified neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren joins us to reveal something revolutionary: you're not stuck with the brain you have. Through groundbreaking neuroscience research, we now know that what you repeatedly think about literally restructures your brain. For parents learning to live from agency instead of control, understanding what's actually happening in your nervous system changes everything. Dr. Warren's new book, The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery:...
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#169: C is for Conversations: How We Restore Freedom at Home
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Introduction: In all of history, there are only two ways to govern: by words or by force. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, we're asking: How will we govern our homes? Force demands compliance. Words invite relationship. And the operating system our children learn at home is the operating system they'll carry into the world. Today we're exploring how conversations—not arbitrary consequences—build the kind of trust that makes freedom and agency possible. You're in the right place if: Your child is old enough for tough topics (bullying, sexual identity, pornography,...
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#168: B is for Beautiful, Not Simply Functional
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if the biggest risk isn't failing—but never discovering who God created you to be? In this episode, we revisit the letter B in the Love Is Fearless alphabet with fresh eyes. Back in Season 5 (), we introduced the idea that Beautiful offers safety, healing, and regard—while Functional is just about getting things done. But now we're going deeper. Beautiful isn't about being magazine-worthy. It's about being true. Beautiful is "the most true thing"—what reflects who God created you to be, what reminds you of your Source, what feeds your soul. Functional is what we reach for in...
info_outlinePART 1 started a discussion about giving our children an honest childhood--which is more than simply a good chance at success. We can manipulate our children to work and perform, but manipulation damages trust instead of builds it. Trusting relationships are necessary if our children are going to grow up, instead of simply meet traditional performance standards for college admissions.
Join Janet and Doug in PART 2 as they continue to offer practical ways to relate with our children--instead of manipulating them. PART 2 offers these take aways:
- Experiencing life as a parent is more than simply having a toolbox full of good parenting strategies. There is no formula for loving bravely--and there are sound principles we can trust.
- We can find time for real conversations about our habits of responding to cultural influences instead of personal convictions. These conversations can be more powerful when we are vulnerable enough to say, "Me, too."
- This kind of honest conversation is happening in homes where families are building habits of engagement--rather than simply habits of evaluation.
Follow this link to listen now--and share BRAVE LOVE with your community. Let us know what questions you'd like us to address on a future episode. We'd love to hear from you. There is great hope.