#75 - The War Against Fear - Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way – The Final Choice

#75 - The War Against Fear - Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way – The Final Choice

INTRO

You heard that bell. That means we are in the ring to fight for your marriage.

This is it. The final round.

The War Against Fear has stripped you down to the truth. You’ve seen how fear rules your life, how passivity destroys respect, how movement builds leadership, and how brotherhood restores strength.

Now it’s time for a decision.

Because talk time is over.

Every man listening to my voice right now will walk away from this moment and do one of three things.

You will lead.
You will follow.
Or you will get out of the way.

That’s it.

No middle ground. No “thinking about it.” No more pretending.

The war you’re in demands clarity. And fear thrives in confusion.

If you’ve made it this far, you already feel that pull inside you—the tension between who you are and who you could be.

This episode is where that tension ends. It’s where you choose what kind of man you’ll be from this point forward.

So don’t listen casually. Listen like your life depends on it. Because in many ways, it does.

POINT 1: IF YOU LEAD, LEAD ALL THE WAY

Leadership is not a word. It’s not a personality type. It’s a posture.

When you lead, you own everything—your choices, your direction, your tone, your outcomes.

Most men think leadership is about control. It’s not. It’s about clarity and responsibility.

If you’re going to lead, then lead all the way.

That means no more half-efforts. No more leading when it’s convenient. No more waiting for her to respond before you decide to act.

Leadership starts with you leading yourself.

You wake up early. You handle your business. You stay disciplined. You build systems in your life that keep you aligned.

Then you extend that leadership outward—to your home, your marriage, your children.

You stop outsourcing the emotional climate of your house to your wife’s mood. You set the tone.

You bring calm where there’s chaos. You bring direction where there’s drift. You bring standards where there’s apathy.

That’s leadership.

And yes, it will cost you. It will cost you comfort. It will cost you pride. It will cost you the option to quit when things get tough.

But leadership is the price of legacy.

If you will lead, lead all the way.

Lead when it’s hard. Lead when you’re tired. Lead when she doesn’t respond the way you hoped.

Because leadership is not about her reaction—it’s about your responsibility.

When you lead consistently, she begins to trust again. Not immediately, but eventually.

She starts to see that you don’t just talk like a leader—you live like one.

And that’s when she starts to soften. That’s when she starts to follow.

Because women follow presence, not pressure.

So if you will lead, lead fully. With conviction. With courage. With consistency.

POINT 2: IF YOU FOLLOW, FOLLOW WITH HUMILITY

Not every man is ready to lead right now. That’s not an insult. That’s honesty.

You might be broken. You might be lost. You might be trying to rebuild after years of drift.

If that’s you, then your next move is not to lead—it’s to follow.

But listen carefully. Following is not weakness. Following is how leaders are built.

The problem is, most men think following means submission. It doesn’t. It means humility.

You find a man who’s been where you are and come out stronger.
You find a man who’s leading with authority, faith, and discipline.
You listen. You learn. You imitate until those habits become your own.

Following means you lay down your pride. You stop pretending you have it all figured out.

You take correction without getting defensive. You accept discipline without resentment.

You follow until you grow strong enough to lead.

That’s the natural order of men. We all start as followers.

Even the best leaders are still following someone. They have mentors, advisors, and brothers who sharpen them.

Following the right men gives you structure. It gives you wisdom. It gives you accountability.

But following wrong men destroys you.

If the men you follow are passive, soft, addicted, or spiritually dead, you’ll become the same.

Choose your examples carefully.

You’re going to become like the men you listen to. So choose those who live with strength, purpose, and conviction.

And once you’ve learned from them—once you’ve built your foundation—step up.

Don’t stay a follower forever. Use what you’ve learned to become the man others can follow.

If you will follow, follow with humility.

Because humility is not weakness—it’s teachability. And teachable men rise fast.

POINT 3: IF YOU’RE OUT, BE HONEST ABOUT IT

And then there’s the third group.

Some of you won’t lead. You won’t follow. You’ll stay out.

You’ll keep listening, nodding, and saying “that’s good,” but you’ll never change anything.

You’ll keep blaming your wife for everything wrong in your life.
You’ll keep saying, “It’s too late.”
You’ll keep waiting for the perfect moment that never comes.

You’ll pretend to be fighting while secretly giving up.

You’ll live the rest of your life explaining why you never became who you were meant to be.

And deep down, you’ll know the truth: fear still owns you.

You’d rather stay safe than risk failing again. You’d rather stay comfortable than rebuild your strength.

But I need you to understand something.

If you choose “out,” you’re not just losing your marriage. You’re losing your legacy.

You’re teaching your sons to hide. You’re teaching your daughters that men can’t be trusted to lead.

You’ll sit in the ashes of your own decisions, convincing yourself that peace means surrender.

But it’s not peace. It’s decay.

Every man who chooses “out” eventually faces the same ghost—the man he could have been.

He shows up in quiet moments, in the mirror, in the silence between distractions.

He looks at you with eyes that say, “You had one life. And you wasted it.”

Don’t be that man.

If you’re out, at least be honest about it. Say it out loud.

Say, “I’m not going to lead. I’m not going to follow. I’m done.”

And then sit in that. Feel the weight of it.

If that doesn’t break you, nothing will.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Every man must decide what he’s going to do with his life.

You don’t get to drift anymore. You don’t get to claim ignorance. You’ve heard the truth.

You’ve been called out, called up, and called forward.

Now the decision is yours.

You will lead.
You will follow.
Or you will get out of the way.

If you lead, lead all the way.
If you follow, follow with humility.
If you’re out, stop pretending otherwise.

This war doesn’t end because the series ends. It ends when you act.

Fear dies when men move. Leadership lives when men commit.

You’ve been given everything you need to start.

Now it’s time to decide who you are.

MARCHING ORDERS

Pick your word.

Right now.

Lead. Follow. Or Out.

Write it down. Speak it out loud. Own it.

Then text me at 812.648.3380 with that single word.

If you text “Lead,” I’ll know you’re stepping into the fire.
If you text “Follow,” I’ll know you’re ready to learn.
If you text “Out,” I’ll know you’ve surrendered.

But choose.

Because indecision is still a decision—it’s fear’s victory.

You heard that bell. That means we are in the ring to fight for your marriage.

You’re not done. You’re not broken beyond repair. You’re standing in the moment that will define the rest of your life.

Lead.
Follow.
Or get out of the way.