Men, save your marriage

I did an autopsy on my failed marriage—and now, I help men like you avoid the same regret. This is the Men, Save Your Marriage Show. I’m Terry—your host, your guide, and a man who’s been where you are. If you’re waking up to the reality that your marriage is falling apart—if you feel like she’s pulling away, the spark is gone, and you don’t know how to fix it—this podcast is your lifeline. I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t waste time. I give you the real talk, the raw truth, and the tools I wish I had before it was too late. In every episode, you’ll learn how to rebuild trust, reawaken connection, and lead your marriage like a man who refuses to quit. Listen carefully—but more importantly, act. Subscribe now—and if you’re serious about saving your marriage, go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get the Marriage Reset Blueprint. It’s time to stop surviving... and start leading.

#59: Lead The Way – Enter The Forge – Feedback That Refines 07/01/2025

#59: Lead The Way – Enter The Forge – Feedback That Refines #59: Lead The Way – Enter The Forge – Feedback That Refines Men, Save Your Marriage – The Leadership Series (Episode 8) INTRO: FEEDBACK IS FIRE Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 8 in our Lead the Damn Way series. And today’s message is one that will expose you, challenge you, and—if you let it—refine you. We’re talking about feedback. Not flattery. Not the shallow stuff people say to keep things smooth. Not compliments you fish for when you’re insecure. I’m talking about raw, honest, sometimes painful feedback—the kind that hits your ego, punches your pride, and invites you into the forge. Because that’s exactly what feedback is. It’s fire. And fire, if you’re willing to enter it, doesn’t burn you to destroy you—it burns off what’s weak, soft, and half-built in you so that only what’s strong remains. Today, I’m going to show you how feedback—especially from your wife, your kids, and the men you trust—can become the forge that sharpens your leadership. If you want to be a man who’s respected, followed, and trusted again… If you want to lead a marriage that’s not built on eggshells but on truth… If you want to raise kids who admire you instead of avoid you… Then you need to stop dodging feedback and start embracing it. This is the episode that separates men who pretend from men who refine. Let’s enter the forge. POINT 1: FEEDBACK IS FIRE—AND FIRE REVEALS WHAT’S REAL Most men avoid feedback because they confuse it with an attack. They hear their wife say, “I don’t feel seen,” and think: “She’s just complaining again.” They hear their kids say, “You never listen,” and think: “They’re just being disrespectful.” They hear their mentor say, “You’re coasting,” and think: “You don’t get what I’m carrying.” But here’s the hard truth: feedback is not an attack—it’s a mirror. It shows you what others experience when they’re on the receiving end of your leadership. It reveals: Where your presence is off. Where your words wound instead of build. Where your good intentions don’t match your impact. And yes—it stings. It always stings. Because fire always stings when it touches something soft. But here’s the principle: Feedback is the fire that reveals what’s real. You think you’re strong? You think you’re leading well? You think you’re building trust? You don’t know until someone tells you what they actually experience. If you’re not hearing feedback, there are only two possibilities: You’re surrounded by people too afraid to tell you the truth. You’ve trained people to stay silent because of how you respond. Neither of those is leadership. Both of those are weakness dressed up like confidence. You can’t lead well if you refuse to be led by feedback. A man who can’t handle correction will always hit a ceiling in his marriage, in his fatherhood, in his business, and in his soul. But the man who invites refinement? He becomes dangerous in all the right ways. He becomes a man people trust. A man people lean on. A man people follow. Let me ask you three brutal questions: When was the last time you looked your wife in the eye and said, “What’s one thing I do that makes you feel unsafe?” When was the last time you asked your kid, “What’s something I do that makes you not want to talk to me?” When was the last time you told a mentor, “Where do you see me settling, softening, or avoiding responsibility?” If the answer is never, don’t be surprised when your leadership feels weak. Feedback is the forge. And the forge is where kings are made. POINT 2: THE REAL REASONS MEN RESIST FEEDBACK Let’s cut the excuses and get real: You don’t resist feedback because it’s false. You resist it because it hits something true. Let me show you the four most common reasons men push feedback away—and how each one is a sign of weakness masquerading as strength. 1. Pride – “I already know what I’m doing.” Pride whispers: “You don’t need correction. You’re good.” This is the most dangerous mindset a man can adopt. Because when pride takes over, you stop listening. You stop learning. You stop adjusting. And then—one day—you wake up wondering why your wife is distant, why your kids are cold, and why no one trusts your leadership. Blind spots destroy marriages. Blind spots create father wounds. Blind spots bury legacies. And pride is what protects your blind spots from being touched. 2. Shame – “If that’s true, I’m a failure.” This one’s deeper. Some men don’t avoid feedback out of arrogance—they avoid it because of internal shame. They believe: “If I admit that’s true about me, it confirms I’m broken.” Listen: feedback is not about identity—it’s about behavior. It’s not saying you’re irredeemable. It’s saying something in your behavior isn’t working—and you have the power to fix it. You’re not a failure because you’re flawed. You only fail when you refuse to face your flaws. 3. Fear of Loss – “If I admit I messed up, I’ll lose her respect.” This fear is common in marriage. You think: “If I own this, she’ll see me as weak. If I admit this, she’ll think less of me.” But here’s what you’re missing: You don’t lose respect when you admit fault. You lose respect when you refuse to change. Your wife doesn’t need perfection. She needs **presence. She needs **humility. She needs a man who listens and grows. Respect is not earned by being right. Respect is earned by being refinable. 4. Lack of Framework – “I heard the feedback—now what?” Many men do hear feedback. But they don’t know what to do with it. So they: Get defensive Get overwhelmed Get passive They nod. They shut down. They move on. But nothing changes. Feedback without action is just noise. In a minute, I’ll give you a clear tactical framework for receiving and applying feedback like a masculine leader. But first—let me tell you a story. STORY: THE MAN WHO STOPPED DEFENDING AND STARTED REFINING Brandon was one of those men who thought he was doing everything right. He worked hard. He provided. He stayed loyal. He even came home every night. But his wife was emotionally shut down. When he came to me, he was angry. “My wife keeps saying she doesn’t feel seen. I do everything for her!” He listed the bills he paid. The cars he maintained. The kids he coached. “She doesn’t appreciate any of it,” he said. So I asked him a simple question: “What’s the exact feedback she’s given you about how she experiences you?” He paused. And after a long silence, admitted: “I don’t actually know.” So I gave him an assignment. I told him to ask her this one line: “What’s one thing I consistently do that makes you feel disconnected from me?” He asked. Her answer? “You listen to respond, not to connect.” That hit him hard. He wanted to argue. He wanted to defend himself. But instead, he bit his tongue and wrote it down. Then we got to work. For one month, Brandon practiced three things: Pausing before responding. No rushing to defend or fix. Repeating back what she said before offering his own view. Making empathy—not efficiency—his goal in conversation. He kept a journal. He tracked when he got it wrong. He adjusted daily. And after 30 days, his wife said: “I feel like I have a husband again.” Brandon didn’t need to be perfect. He didn’t need a degree in counseling. He just needed to shut up, listen, and refine. That’s the power of feedback received and applied. That’s a man who entered the forge—and came out stronger. POINT 3: THE FEEDBACK FORGE FRAMEWORK Here’s your blueprint. The 4-step feedback cycle. Use this again and again in your marriage, your fatherhood, and your leadership. STEP 1: ASK FOR IT INTENTIONALLY Don’t wait for her to explode. Don’t wait for your kid to shut down. Don’t wait for someone to quit your team. Ask before it’s a crisis. Try questions like: “What’s something I do that creates distance between us?” “What’s one thing I might not see about how I’m showing up lately?” “Where have I dropped the ball in your eyes?” The more specific, the better. You’re not fishing for affirmation. You’re mining for refinement. STEP 2: RECEIVE WITHOUT DEFENSIVENESS This is the hardest part. When the feedback hits, your body will want to react. You’ll want to: Explain Justify Clarify Argue Don’t. Just say: “Thank you. That’s hard to hear—but I needed it.” And mean it. Write it down if you have to. Stay present. Stay grounded. This is the forge—it’s supposed to be hot. STEP 3: REFLECT HONESTLY Get alone for 10 minutes. Write down: The feedback you received What part of it was true What pattern it revealed in you What action it demands Then own it. Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t water it down. Name the behavior. Name the cost. Name the next move. STEP 4: RESPOND WITH CHANGE Do something about it—immediately. Even a small adjustment shows that you’re listening. Do not say, “I’m working on it.” That’s a passive man’s escape. Instead, act. Let her see it. Let your kids feel it. Let your team watch it unfold. Then repeat this cycle monthly. Every 30 days, ask for fresh feedback. This is how you build fire-tested leadership. This is how you earn trust—not once, but over time. DRILLS – ENTER THE FORGE THIS WEEK Three practical ways to apply this episode starting today: 1. The Feedback Question Ask your wife: “What’s one thing I do that makes it hard for you to connect with me?” Then: Write it down Say thank you Do something different today 2. The Brotherhood Mirror Ask a trusted man in your life: “What’s one blind spot you see in how I lead my home?” Then: Listen Own it Adjust it You can’t grow alone. Men sharpen men. 3. The Weekly Check-In Every Sunday, journal these three prompts: Where did I lead well this week? Where did I react instead of lead? What feedback did I receive—and what changed? This 10-minute habit builds massive self-awareness over time. FINAL WORDS: THE MAN IN THE FIRE You cannot lead your family without correction. You cannot grow without refinement. You cannot build a lasting legacy if you’re too fragile for feedback. So here’s your command this week: Ask. Listen. Apply. Adjust. Let the fire touch what’s weak—so only the strong remains. That’s how men grow. That’s how trust is rebuilt. That’s how you lead the damn way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36726265

#58: Lead The Way – Own The Wreckage 06/24/2025

#58: Lead The Way – Own The Wreckage #58: LEAD THE WAY – OWN THE WRECKAGE Men, Save Your Marriage – The Leadership Series (Episode 7) INTRO: THE MOST HUMBLING STEP A MAN CAN TAKE Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. You’re listening to Episode 7 in our Lead the Damn Way series—and today we’re going into the fire. This isn’t an easy episode. But it might be the most important one of the entire series. Because if you want to lead… If you want to rebuild trust, respect, and intimacy… If you want your wife to see you as a man again— As someone she can follow, desire, and believe in— Then you have to start with what most men avoid at all costs: You have to own the wreckage. Not just your version of the story. Not just the parts you feel justified in. Not just the clean, easy pieces that make you look noble. You own all of it. You step into the wreckage your leadership created, allowed, or ignored. You admit: The pain you caused, even if you didn’t intend it. The distance you allowed, even if you weren’t the first to pull away. The responsibility you abandoned, even if your excuses felt valid at the time. This is the start of real masculine leadership. Not finger-pointing. Not image protection. Not spinning the story. This isn’t about guilt. It’s not about shame. This is about taking your power back. By telling the truth. By standing tall. By becoming the kind of man who can say, “This was mine. I see it now. And it changes today.” Let’s dig in. POINT 1: YOU CAN’T LEAD WHAT YOU WON’T OWN You’ve heard it said, “lead by example.” But most men think that just means work hard, provide well, and keep your nose clean. That’s not what leadership means. Not in a marriage. Not in a home. Not in a kingdom. Leadership means: You go first. You go first in confession. You go first in ownership. You go first in humility—not because you're the worst, but because you're the leader. So many men want their wife to come back to them. They want their kids to respect them again. They want their family to heal. But they’re still walking around saying: “Well, she gave up first.” “She was cold to me.” “She cheated.” “She disrespected me in front of the kids.” And maybe all of that is true. But here’s the question that separates men from boys: “What kind of man do I want to become from this point forward?” Because blaming her? That gives her all the control. Owning your part? That gives you the authority to lead again. Let me say it another way: Blame keeps you weak. Ownership makes you powerful. Leadership begins the moment you say: “No more deflection. No more blame. I allowed things I should’ve stopped. I failed to protect what I should’ve cherished. I didn’t show up the way my wife, my kids, and my mission needed me to. And I take full responsibility.” That’s the turning point. Let’s get practical: Here are some patterns you may need to own: Drifting emotionally. Being in the house but not with your wife. Using work as an escape. Staying busy so you never have to deal with the emotional mess. Shutting down in conflict. Avoiding tension instead of stepping into it with strength. Letting porn replace pursuit. Checking out of intimacy and replacing it with fantasy. Prioritizing everything except her. Saying yes to hobbies, work, and obligations—but never her. Playing the victim. Turning every hard moment into a reason why you’re the one who’s mistreated. It’s not about being a monster. It’s about being honest enough to say: “I let these things grow in the house I was supposed to protect. I see it now. I own it. And I’m done.” That’s how you begin to rebuild respect. STORY: FROM DENIAL TO DOMINION – THE MAN WHO CHANGED Let me tell you a story about a man I coached named Eli. Eli looked like a solid husband on paper. He worked 60 hours a week to provide. He never cheated. He never raised a hand. He went to church. Paid the bills. Mowed the lawn. But Eli’s wife felt utterly alone. She had tried to talk to him. She had begged for deeper connection. She had asked him to stop avoiding conflict, to engage with the kids, to simply be present. And every time, Eli dismissed it. He said: “You’re overreacting.” “I’m just tired from work.” “Can we not do this right now?” So over time, she gave up. She stopped trying. She shut down emotionally. And one day, she packed her bags and moved out. That’s when Eli came to me—still confused, still defending himself. “I never did anything wrong. I never yelled. I never cheated. I never lied.” But he did neglect. He did emotionally abandon. He did protect his own comfort over their connection. So we started the work. The first thing I had him do was write a letter. A full page—not defending himself, not blaming her—just owning the wreckage. In the letter, he wrote lines like: “I now see what I didn’t want to see. I see that your loneliness was real. I see how I protected my image instead of your heart. I see how I confused ‘not being bad’ with being a good husband. I failed to lead. I failed to pursue. I failed to fight for us. And I own all of it.” He didn’t send it right away. He sat with it. Let the truth hit him. Let the pride die. Then he sent it—with no demands, no expectations. She didn’t move back in that day. But something shifted. She started answering his calls again. She started responding to his texts. She started softening to his pursuit. Not because of an apology. But because of ownership. When a man stops defending and starts confessing, his presence changes. He becomes safe again. He becomes real again. He becomes worthy of following again. POINT 2: EXCUSES DELAY RESTORATION Let’s be clear about something: Excuses are poison. They may sound reasonable. They may feel logical. But they destroy trust. Every time you excuse your behavior, you delay the healing. Let’s look at a few common excuses: “I only shut down because she was so critical.” “I didn’t feel respected, so I stopped trying.” “She stopped being affectionate, so I just gave up.” “She wasn’t giving me what I needed—what was I supposed to do?” They sound like explanations. But they’re not. They’re just fear dressed up like logic. And fear will never rebuild your marriage. Excuses are the last defense of a man who doesn’t want to face his truth. Here’s what your wife hears when you excuse yourself: “He still doesn’t get it.” “He’s still blaming me.” “He’s still fighting for control, not connection.” But when you speak without excuses? When you say: “This is what I did. This is how it made you feel. This is what I’m committed to changing.” She may not say it out loud—but she’ll feel it. She’ll feel the shift. Because now she’s hearing a man take responsibility. Not a man trying to win. Not a man trying to manipulate. A man who is finally telling the truth. That’s where the rebuild begins. POINT 3: YOUR FUTURE LEADERSHIP DEPENDS ON TODAY’S OWNERSHIP Here’s the hard truth: The man who hides from his past will be haunted by it. But the man who owns his past? He becomes a leader who can be trusted again. Ownership unlocks your future. It reestablishes your integrity. It resets your direction. It puts you back in the fight—not just for her heart, but for your mission. Let me show you what owning the wreckage actually does: 1. It Builds Credibility Every time you name a failure without excuse, your words start to carry weight. Before, you talked and she rolled her eyes. Now, you speak with substance. She starts to think: “Maybe this is different. Maybe something’s shifting. Maybe he’s not trying to win me back—maybe he’s just becoming a man again.” That’s credibility. That’s respect. That’s the beginning of new leadership. 2. It Clears the Fog When you own your past, the air clears. There’s no more: Debating old wounds Arguing over who started what Rehashing every disagreement You own your side. You lead forward. Now you can cast vision. Now you can bring peace. Now you can create culture. Because the fog of blame is gone—and the path is visible again. 3. It Restores Your Masculine Integrity This is where it all comes together. Masculine leadership is not about being flawless. It’s about being truthful. It’s about saying: “I blew it. I dropped the ball. I let us drift. But that ends today.” And then proving it—not with perfection, but with consistency. Your wife doesn’t need a perfect husband. She needs a truthful one. Your kids don’t need a perfect dad. They need a present, owning, rebuilding father. Ownership restores your masculine core. It grounds you. It clarifies you. It makes you dangerous again—in the best possible way. DRILLS – OWN THE WRECKAGE THIS WEEK Let’s get tactical. Don’t just listen—act. 1. Write the Confession Letter Sit down and write a one-page letter to your wife—or your child. Don’t try to make it poetic. Don’t try to justify yourself. Just tell the truth. Own every pattern you ignored. Own every moment you withdrew. Own every cycle you protected or defended. Don’t send it yet. Let it sit. Let it hit you. Let it strip away the old version of you. 2. Speak One Ownership Statement This Week Pick one moment—just one—where you didn’t lead well this week. Maybe you snapped. Maybe you avoided. Maybe you checked out. Now speak this: “I didn’t show up the way I needed to yesterday. That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do differently.” That one moment of ownership speaks louder than a thousand promises. 3. Create Your 30-Day Rebuild Plan Get specific. What do you want to restore in your marriage? What will your wife feel from you—daily? How will you demonstrate real, consistent change? Write it out. And live it. CALL TO ACTION: BUILD WITH THE MARRIAGE ARSENAL If you’re serious about rebuilding your marriage… If you want to lead her heart again… You need more than promises. You need a structure. You need reinforcements. You need action tools. That’s why I created The Marriage Arsenal. Inside, you’ll get: Connection Cards to pursue her heart with intention Pursuit Missions to build emotional consistency Micro-Moment Prompts to anchor your presence in the small daily wins These are not gimmicks. They are strategic tools that say: “I’m not who I used to be. I lead now. I show up. I fight for this.” Go to and grab yours. Don’t wait for her to believe your words—show her your walk. Let the Arsenal help you build it. FINAL WORDS: THIS IS WHERE LEADERSHIP BEGINS Let’s land the plane with this truth: There is no real leadership without ownership. There is no rebuilding without repentance. There is no respect without responsibility. So here’s your call: No more blame. No more silence. No more passive waiting. You are the man. You lead now. You own the wreckage. You build from the rubble. And that, brother, is what men do. That is what fathers do. That is what husbands do. We own it. We lead it. We rebuild it. That’s how we Lead the Damn Way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36726225

#57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority 06/17/2025

#57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority #57: Lead The Way – Correct With Authority INTRO: WHY MOST MEN GET CORRECTION WRONG Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. You’re listening to Episode 6 in our Lead the Damn Way series. And if you’ve made it this far, I already know one thing about you—you’re not here to play small. You’re here because you’ve realized something: You can’t save your marriage by being passive. You also can’t lead it by being controlling. And when it comes to correction—when it comes to those moments where something needs to change, where you need to speak up, where the tone is off, the attitude is sideways, the behavior isn’t building anything good—most men fall into one of two traps: They either explode, getting loud, reactive, and overbearing… Or they evaporate, staying quiet, backing down, hoping it just blows over. Both of those kill respect. Both of those erode intimacy. And both of those are symptoms of a man who doesn’t yet know how to correct with real, masculine authority. Today, we’re going to fix that. There is a third way. A better way. A stronger, calmer, more grounded way to lead your marriage and your home without controlling it, and without giving your power away. We’re going to talk about: Why correction isn’t control How to stay calm in confrontation What authority actually looks like in action So whether your wife is sarcastic or silent, whether your kids are disrespectful or distracted, whether you’re in a season of rebuilding or just trying to hold the line—you need this. Let’s get into it. POINT 1: CONTROL ISN’T AUTHORITY—AND PASSIVITY ISN’T LOVE Let’s expose the lie that keeps men weak: “Correction is the same as control.” If you believe that lie, you only have two options: Dominate Or disappear And most men bounce between both. They try dominating first. That means: Raising their voice Giving ultimatums Managing every detail Demanding respect without earning it And when that blows up in their face, they retreat into passivity. That means: Not speaking up Avoiding confrontation Hoping “being nice” will fix the atmosphere Here’s the truth: neither approach builds trust. Neither approach builds respect. And neither approach reflects the strength you were designed to walk in. What your wife feels when you try to control: Unsafe Micromanaged Like she’s being parented, not partnered Like she needs to resist you just to breathe What she feels when you’re passive: Alone Unprotected Like the emotional weight of the home is on her shoulders Like she has to lead because you won’t This is why women test tone. Not to tear you down. Not to disrespect you. But to find out: “Can I trust this man to hold steady when things get tense? Can I push against him emotionally and still feel his strength? Can I trust that he won’t collapse or explode if I’m in a bad place?” If your answer is to explode, she sees you as unsafe. If your answer is to disappear, she sees you as unreliable. But if your answer is to stay present, calm, and clear—even when she’s not— She sees something rare. She sees strength she can trust. She sees a man who knows who he is. That’s what we’re after. POINT 2: WHAT CALM, GROUNDED CORRECTION LOOKS LIKE So what does it actually look like to correct with authority? Let’s break it down. 1. You Name the Standard Authority doesn’t begin with volume—it begins with clarity. You can’t enforce a standard you haven’t established. And you shouldn’t correct behavior that you haven’t first defined. Examples of standards: “In this home, we don’t raise our voices at each other.” “Sarcasm is not how we connect. I need honesty, not jabs.” “We follow through on what we say. That’s who we are.” “Disrespectful talk isn’t how we solve problems.” These are truths stated without apology. This is not about nitpicking behavior. This is about naming a culture. If your home feels chaotic, if your marriage feels tense, if your kids walk on eggshells or act out constantly—it’s likely because no one’s named the standard. So start there. 2. You Stay Calm When Challenged This is where most men lose ground. You try to hold the line—and she pushes back. You name the standard—and the teenager rolls their eyes. And what do most men do? They try to win the moment. They fight harder. They talk louder. They escalate to prove their point. But correction isn’t about winning—it’s about leading. When you get pushback, you don’t match the energy. You don’t trade jabs. You don’t try to punish with your words. You root yourself in calm masculinity. You say something like: “I can see you’re upset. I’m open to hearing you, but I won’t engage in this tone. Let’s reset.” Or: “I’m not angry, but I am serious. That’s not okay with me. Let’s find a better way to move forward.” Correction is not about emotion—it’s about presence. And when you stay present in the face of conflict, you become unshakeable. 3. You Reinforce Without Retreating This is the final piece. Your tone matters. Your words matter. But what matters most is your follow through. You say it? Then live it. You set a boundary? Then walk it out. This means: If sarcasm is off-limits, you calmly pause and disengage when it shows up. If shouting is out of bounds, you leave the room and invite a reset. If disrespect isn’t tolerated, you call it out without flinching. You’re not emotional. You’re not aggressive. You’re not apologetic. You are consistent. And that consistency creates safety. That safety builds respect. And that respect allows for deep connection. STORY: THE MAN WHO LOST HER RESPECT—AND GOT IT BACK Let me tell you about a man I worked with—let’s call him Daniel. Daniel was a good guy. Worked hard. Provided well. Tried to be loving. But his wife had a razor-sharp tongue. She was sarcastic, dismissive, and would regularly mock him in front of the kids. He tried everything: Getting angry and snapping at her Going cold and withdrawing Laughing it off like it didn’t bother him None of it worked. Why? Because he never clearly corrected it. He either exploded… or disappeared. So we did the work. We clarified a standard. We wrote out his correction line. He practiced this: “When you speak to me that way, I don’t feel respected. I’m not going to match your tone, but I also won’t pretend it didn’t happen.” He didn’t say it in anger. He didn’t yell. He didn’t sulk. He said it once—with calm, masculine conviction—and walked away. What happened? She didn’t crumble and apologize. But she did pause. And when she tested again, he held the line. No yelling. No giving in. No emotional games. Just truth. Within weeks—not years, not decades—weeks… Her tone began to shift. Not because he dominated her. But because he led. He set the standard. He corrected with calm. He followed through. And eventually, she respected the man she saw. That’s the power of masculine correction. POINT 3: HOW TO HOLD AUTHORITY IN MARRIAGE AND FATHERHOOD Let’s break this into two realms: Marriage and Fatherhood. In Marriage: Your wife is not your child. She’s your equal. But that doesn’t mean you stay silent when disrespect or dysfunction shows up. You don’t lead her—you lead yourself. And that leadership creates the environment where the marriage thrives. So when sarcasm enters the room? You pause and calmly say: “This isn’t the tone I want for us. I’m trying to rebuild trust. Are you willing to reset?” When the cold shoulder shows up? You gently lean in: “I feel the distance between us. I’m here when you’re ready to talk. I’m not going anywhere.” When the disrespect rises? You name it without shame: “I love you. I’m for you. But I won’t tolerate being treated like I’m disposable. That’s not the kind of marriage I want for us.” You are not correcting to control her. You’re correcting to build something better. In Fatherhood: Kids don’t need perfect dads. They need present, firm, calm, and consistent dads. When your child: Disrespects you Screams in frustration Pushes boundaries Don’t raise your voice to prove you’re in charge. Get lower. Slow your speech. Lock eyes. Say: “That’s not how we speak in this family. I know you’re upset. But let’s take a breath, and try again.” Then give space for a reset. That’s fatherhood. Correction that feels like love. Correction that teaches identity. Correction that shapes character. DRILLS: BUILD YOUR CORRECTION FRAME THIS WEEK You don’t need a 10-year counseling degree to start leading with correction today. You just need clarity. You need language. And you need a steady anchor. Let’s make it practical. DRILL 1: CLARIFY YOUR STANDARDS Write out 3–5 standards you want to hold in your home. Example: “We speak with honor.” “We solve problems face-to-face, not side comments.” “We follow through on our words.” “We handle frustration without disrespect.” “We take ownership instead of blame.” These are your foundational truths. Write them. Speak them. Live them. DRILL 2: PRACTICE YOUR CORRECTION LINES Write out 2–3 go-to phrases you can use in the heat of the moment. Examples: “Let’s pause this conversation—I want to handle it with respect.” “I’m here for you, but not in this tone. Let’s try again.” “This isn’t who we are. Let’s take a moment and reset.” You’re not scripting to control. You’re preparing to lead with clarity when emotions run high. DRILL 3: ANCHOR YOURSELF IN CALM Before you respond in any moment of tension, ask yourself: “Is this correction grounded in truth, or am I reacting out of emotion?” Then breathe. Then lead. CALL TO ACTION: GRAB THE MARRIAGE ARSENAL If you want to rebuild respect, connection, and trust in your marriage— You need more than advice. You need tools. You need reinforcements. You need tactical ways to show up with clarity and strength. That’s why I created The Marriage Arsenal. Inside, you’ll find: Connection Cards – Masculine greeting cards that build warmth and emotional pursuit Pursuit Missions – Strategic ways to re-engage your wife weekly Micro-Moment Prompts – Subtle ways to lead in tension and foster connection These aren’t cheesy. These aren’t gimmicks. These are precision tools for real men who want to show up with love, strength, and emotional clarity. Go to and grab yours. Don’t just listen to the show—lead the way. FINAL WORDS: THE MAN WHO CORRECTS WITH LOVE You are the leader of your home. But your leadership will never be respected if it’s rooted in control. And it will never be trusted if it disappears under pressure. You don’t need to shout. You don’t need to threaten. You don’t need to win. You need to: Speak the truth Set the tone Stand with calm, steady presence Correct with authority. Correct with clarity. Correct with consistency. This week—don’t flinch. Don’t fight to dominate. Don’t retreat. Correct to build trust, to restore tone, to lead the damn way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36725595

#56: Lead The Way - Build The Blueprint 06/10/2025

#56: Lead The Way - Build The Blueprint #56: Lead The Way - Build The Blueprint INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 5 in the Lead the Way series—a blueprint for men who are ready to lead their homes, marriages, and lives with clarity, purpose, and unwavering presence. Today’s law might be the most practical of the 10: Build the Blueprint. Because the truth is—most men aren’t failing because they’re evil. Most men are failing because they’re unclear. Your wife doesn’t trust what you say, because she doesn’t know if you believe it. Your kids don’t follow you, because you haven’t shown them where you’re going. You feel stuck not because you’re lazy—but because you don’t have a map. Let’s fix that today. This episode is about designing the actual structure of your leadership. The blueprint. The one your wife can feel. The one your kids can follow. The one your future self will thank you for. Let’s go. POINT 1: THE COST OF LEADING WITHOUT CLARITY Most men wake up and respond. To texts. To problems. To their wife’s mood. To their inbox. To their stress. They aren’t leading—they’re reacting. Here’s what happens when you don’t have a clear vision: You start confusing activity with progress. You overcommit to things that don’t matter. You let pressure dictate your priorities. You feel busy, but your marriage stays cold. If you don’t know where you’re going—why would she follow you? Clarity doesn’t mean having every answer. It means having a direction. A mission. A filter for your decisions. A blueprint isn’t perfect. But it’s intentional. And women can feel the difference between a man who’s floating and a man who’s forging. If you feel stuck in your marriage—it may be because you haven’t built something she can walk into. Let’s fix that. POINT 2: BUILDING YOUR PERSONAL LEADERSHIP BLUEPRINT Let’s get tactical. To build your blueprint, you need to clarify four foundational pillars: 1. Who You Are Becoming Not who you’ve been. Not who she thinks you are. Who are you becoming? "I’m becoming a man who..." Leads with clarity, not emotion. Protects the tone of the home. Pursues his wife with purpose. Follows through on what he starts. Write this out. Declare it. Speak it every morning. 2. What You Stand For These are your values. Your non-negotiables. Your personal leadership code. Examples: In this house, we speak with respect—even when we’re frustrated. We lead ourselves before we try to lead others. We do hard things without whining. We finish what we start. Make this list visible. Frame it. Speak it over your family. Teach it to your children. 3. Where You’re Leading Your Family She needs to know what you see. Your kids need to hear where they’re going. Start with the next 90 days: What are you rebuilding in your marriage? What does a win look like in fatherhood? What’s the financial or faith goal? What’s your household rhythm? Paint the picture. “By June 1st, we’re having one family dinner per week, one date night per month, and I’m pursuing her daily with presence, not pressure.” That’s vision. 4. How You’ll Reinforce the Vision Vision dies in silence. It must be spoken. It must be acted out. It must be shared. Start a Sunday Vision Reset. Reflect: What did we build this week? Reconnect: Share your love and leadership openly. Reset: Declare where you’re going next. This isn’t control. This is clarity. And it’s the most attractive, stabilizing thing you can bring into your home. STORY: FROM DRIFT TO DIRECTION A client I’ll call James was a decent husband. Never cheated. Good job. Home most nights. But his wife felt alone. She didn’t know what they were aiming for. She didn’t feel protected or inspired—just provided for. We walked through the blueprint process. He created a 90-day mission: Rebuild weekly connection through scheduled rhythms. Initiate one pursuit action daily. Lead a weekly family reset. He shared the plan with her. Not in a preachy way. But with confidence. “Here’s what I see. Here’s what I’m building. I want to invite you into it, but I’m moving forward either way.” She cried. Not because it was perfect. But because—for the first time—she felt like she wasn’t the only one carrying the emotional weight. That’s the power of building the blueprint. POINT 3: MASCULINE VISION BUILDS TRUST AND STRENGTH When your wife sees you build and follow a blueprint: She relaxes. She softens. She trusts. Because your leadership communicates: “You’re safe with me. We’re not drifting. I’ve got this.” Here’s what most women won’t say—but deeply feel: “When he doesn’t have a plan, I feel like I have to lead. And I hate that.” When she feels your clarity, she doesn’t have to compensate. She doesn’t have to mother you. She doesn’t have to rescue the moment. That doesn’t mean she won’t test it. She will. But she’s not testing to destroy you. She’s testing to see if your leadership can be trusted. Don’t flinch. Don’t defend. Lead. With vision. With conviction. With consistency. DRILLS – BUILD YOUR BLUEPRINT THIS WEEK 1. Personal Leadership Code Write your “I am becoming...” identity. List 5 values that define how you will lead. Read it every morning. 2. 90-Day Family Vision Write a short 3-paragraph vision of where you’re leading your marriage, family, and self. Keep it clear. Concrete. Measurable. Share it out loud with your wife. 3. Sunday Vision Reset Set aside 30 minutes weekly. Review wins, speak truth, and declare targets for the week ahead. Invite your wife into the conversation—don’t force her into it. CALL TO ACTION If you want structure to reinforce your blueprint, get the tools at . This is your field kit: Cards that activate pursuit. Missions that align timing with intention. Tools to reinforce what you’re building. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. But you do have to lead. Let the Marriage Arsenal help. In fact, here is a challenge that will scare most of you to death, but I will throw it out to you anyway. One Card. Twelve Words. Real Impact. Husbands—this Micro-Mission Card isn’t cute. It’s strategic. Twelve simple words that could shift the mood in your marriage today. ▶️ Download it free: Cut it. Fold it. Write her name. Then watch what happens when you lead with intention. FINAL WORDS A man without a plan is a man who will drift. And drift destroys families. But a man with a blueprint? He brings safety. He sets the tone. He builds something his wife wants to walk into and his kids want to follow. You don’t need to be flashy. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be clear. Build the damn blueprint. Then lead the damn way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36725365

#55: Lead The Way - Mission Over Mood 06/03/2025

#55: Lead The Way - Mission Over Mood #55: Lead The Way - Mission Over Mood INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 4 in the Lead the Damn Way series. And this one’s personal. This one’s the war you fight every single day. Mission over Mood. You’re tired. You’re frustrated. You feel alone in your own house. You’ve tried to lead and gotten resistance. You’ve tried to reconnect and been rejected. You’ve tried to stay calm and gotten cut down. And it’s easy—so easy—to stop leading when it hurts. But today, I’m going to show you how real leadership happens when you don’t feel like it. When you’re tested. When you’re stretched. When your emotions scream one thing—but your mission demands another. Let’s get into it. POINT 1: THE MYTH OF MOTIVATION You’ve been lied to. Sold a myth that leadership is a feeling. That you’ll act when you’re ready. That you’ll move when you feel strong. That you’ll rise when you’re inspired. But that’s not leadership. That’s entertainment. Real men lead when they’re not in the mood. Real men follow through when they’re frustrated. Real men choose action over emotion. Here’s a hard truth: If you only lead when you feel like it—you’re not a leader. You’re a follower of your feelings. And most men live that way: They’re short with their wife when they’re tired. They ignore their kids when they feel disrespected. They skip rituals, connection, discipline—because the fire isn’t there. But your wife doesn’t need you to feel like it. She needs you to do it. You want to win her heart again? Raise your kids with strength? Rebuild trust and fire? Then you need to put mission over mood. STORY: WHEN LEADERSHIP SHOWS UP THROUGH PAIN Let me tell you about Aaron. Aaron’s wife left emotionally before she ever left physically. He noticed her distance. He tried to get her attention. Then he got angry. Cold. Withdrew. When he came to me, he said, “I just don’t feel like trying anymore. It’s like she already gave up.” That was his mood. But we reframed it. We got clear on what mattered. We built a mission. His mission wasn’t to get a response. His mission was to become the kind of man who leads anyway. He started initiating moments of presence. He created a weekly family rhythm. He stayed calm when she escalated. He held the frame—day after day—without applause. Two months in, she broke. Tears. Confession. Softness. “You didn’t give up when I gave you nothing.” That’s mission over mood. POINT 2: MISSION IS BUILT ON IDENTITY, NOT EMOTION You’ve got to define who you are before the storm. Because if you wait until the pressure hits, your mood will make the decision for you. Let me give you a frame: “I don’t act from how I feel—I act from who I am.” Who are you? You are a man. You are a leader. You are the tone-setter in your home. You are the father your kids will quote. You are the husband who brings structure, not chaos. Identity precedes behavior. And when your identity is clear, you stop giving your mood permission to dictate your mission. So when you feel: Disrespected Ignored Undervalued Overwhelmed You don’t react. You respond—from identity. That’s emotional mastery. That’s masculine maturity. That’s how you become a leader. PRACTICAL TRAINING: HOW TO LEAD THROUGH LOW MORALE You want to build emotional consistency? You need a framework. Here’s how I train men to lead from mission when the mood is off: 1. Name the Pattern Write down your top 3 emotional triggers. When I feel ignored, I... When I feel rejected, I... When I feel stressed, I... Notice the pattern. Own the reaction. 2. Replace the Reaction Ask: What would the man I want to become do instead? When I feel ignored, I pursue anyway. When I feel rejected, I remain steady. When I feel stressed, I simplify and speak truth. Write those down. Memorize them. Use them. 3. Anchor to Mission Post your leadership vision somewhere visible. Make it clear. Make it short. Make it daily. “I am the man who leads this home with strength and steadiness, even when it’s hard.” When your feelings start pulling you sideways—anchor. POINT 3: LEADING IN SPITE OF MOOD BUILDS TRUST You think your wife is watching to see if you succeed? She’s not. She’s watching to see if you show up anyway. Your kids don’t need a hero. They need a man who’s there—even when he’s tired. Consistency builds trust. Moodiness kills it. When your wife sees you: Pursuing her after rejection Leading the family rhythm when it’s awkward Holding the line without collapsing She feels: Safe Seen Steady And those three things unlock connection. Your marriage doesn’t need a miracle. It needs a man who chooses mission over mood. DRILLS – YOUR LEADERSHIP TRAINING THIS WEEK 1. Mission Statement in the Mirror Each morning this week, stand up, breathe deep, and say: “I lead from who I am, not what I feel. I choose mission over mood.” 2. Mood Interrupt Tracker Carry a small notebook. Every time your mood starts to derail your actions, write: What triggered it How you responded How you could lead better next time Do this for 7 days. Study your patterns. 3. Follow Through on One Hard Thing Pick one thing you don’t feel like doing. A conversation A task A pursuit moment Do it this week. No emotion needed. Just obedience to mission. CALL TO ACTION If you’re ready to build this level of leadership into your daily rhythm—go to . This isn’t about gimmicks. It’s about weapons. You need: Structure to interrupt your feelings. Tools to reinforce clarity. Moments of presence to activate pursuit. The Marriage Arsenal is your mission kit. Not for hype. For habit. For honor. For hard days that require you to lead even when your fire is low. Because the man who chooses mission over mood becomes unstoppable. MARRIAGE ARSENAL MICRO-MISSION CHALLENGE (1–2 MINUTES) Gentlemen, let me hit you with something simple—but powerful. What if one small moment could shift the energy in your marriage? Not a long speech. Not a grand gesture. Just a single card with twelve words: “I still choose you. Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days.” It’s called a Micro-Mission Card. And I’ve made one available for free at . Here’s your mission—if you’re man enough to take it: Go to the website. Download the free “Just Because” card. Follow the simple instructions. Cut it. Fold it. Write her name on it. And deliver it when she least expects it. I promise you… The impact will be real. You’ll see it in her eyes. And when you do—you’ll understand why I built the full set. This isn’t a gimmick. This is strategy for the heart of your marriage. And the Just Because card is just the beginning. Go now to and see what happens when you lead your marriage with intention. FINAL WORDS You will not always feel like a leader. You will not always feel loved. You will not always feel seen. But you don’t lead from feelings. You lead from fire. You lead because your family needs you. You lead because your future depends on it. You lead because that’s who you are now. So when you feel like quitting? Do one more rep. Say one more truth. Pursue one more time. That’s what separates boys from men. Leaders from victims. Legacy builders from legacy breakers. Let your mood rage. Let your body ache. Let your emotions swirl. And then lead anyway. Lead the damn way. Text me at 812.648.3380 - terry /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36725320

#54: Lead The Way - Lead Yourself First 05/29/2025

#54: Lead The Way - Lead Yourself First #54: Lead The Way - Lead Yourself First INTRO Welcome to Episode 3 of Lead the Damn Way—the masculine leadership series built for husbands who are ready to lead themselves, their homes, and their marriages. Today we talk about something that men skip all the time: “How do I lead her when she won’t follow?” Wrong question. The question is: “How do I lead me in a way that earns her trust and builds unstoppable momentum?” If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead anyone else. Not your wife. Not your kids. Not your team. Not your future. The war for leadership is first internal. And most men lose it before they ever say a word. Let’s fix that. POINT 1: SELF-LEADERSHIP IS THE ROOT OF MASCULINE POWER When you were a boy, someone told you what to do. When you became a man, no one did—and you either rose or drifted. The modern world has created men who are externally compliant but internally weak. You show up to work because your boss expects it. You behave at church because someone’s watching. You avoid certain actions because of fear—not conviction. But what happens when no one’s looking? When the pressure is gone? When your wife’s disengaged and you feel alone? That’s when your true self is revealed. Self-leadership is doing what must be done—without being told. It’s: Waking up early without being forced. Setting a standard and following it in private. Choosing prayer, discipline, and presence when apathy would be easier. Here’s the hard truth: Your wife doesn’t need you to be perfect—she needs you to be consistent. Your kids don’t need you to be a hero—just a man they can count on. Your home doesn’t need a manager—it needs a man on mission. And that starts with self-leadership. Let me tell you about Marcus. Marcus came to me six months after his wife moved out. “She said she couldn’t trust me anymore.” But Marcus hadn’t cheated. He hadn’t yelled. He didn’t have a drinking problem. He was just inconsistent. Some days he was engaged. Some days he was lazy. Some days he was present. Other days—gone in his head. He’d make promises, then forget. Start routines, then quit. He had passion, but no pattern. She didn’t leave because he failed once. She left because she couldn’t trust the pattern of the man. Men, listen. Self-leadership is the pattern. And if you don’t control your habits, your emotions, and your time—you’re not leading. You’re reacting. Let’s fix that now. POINT 2: THREE DOMAINS OF DAILY SELF-LEADERSHIP If you want to lead yourself, you need a command structure. Something reliable. Repeatable. Grounded. Here are the three domains you must command every single day: 1. Your Mind Guard your inputs. Read something that builds you. Declare what’s true—don’t just react to feelings. Examples: Read a Proverb every morning. Journal your leadership targets. Speak your identity out loud: “I am the leader of this home. I carry peace. I bring clarity. I follow through.” 2. Your Body You don’t need a six-pack. You do need to move with purpose. Eat like a man who leads. Train like a man on mission. Examples: 20-minute strength workout daily. Cold shower. Walk around the block while praying or reflecting. 3. Your Spirit You can’t give what you don’t have. A dry man leads a dry home. Fill your soul with something greater than yourself. Examples: Prayer and Scripture before phone. Write a thank-you note to God every morning. Fast one meal a week for clarity and discipline. These are not “nice ideas.” They are non-negotiables for men who lead. STORY: FROM REACTOR TO COMMANDER Josh used to wake up whenever the kids started yelling. He’d scroll his phone. Miss workouts. Skip meals or eat junk. Then blow up by 5 p.m. He wasn’t evil. He wasn’t abusive. He was ungoverned. We built a plan: Wake up at 6:00 a.m. no matter what. 10 pushups. Cold water splash. Read Psalm 1. Speak 3 truths into the mirror. Choose one pursuit action for his wife that day. Within 30 days, Josh felt different. Within 60 days, his wife felt different. He didn’t lecture her. He didn’t guilt her. He just led himself with clarity. She felt the shift. She came closer. Because women don’t follow men who flinch. They follow men who follow through. POINT 3: THE MAN YOU FOLLOW SETS YOUR CEILING Here’s a hard truth: If your future is tied to the current version of you—you’re not going far enough. You need to build a vision of the man you’re becoming—and follow him. This is how I teach self-leadership: “I don’t act based on how I feel—I act based on the man I’m becoming.” Ask yourself daily: How does my future self act today? What standard does that man uphold? What does that man allow into his mind, schedule, spirit? And then follow his lead. Self-leadership is future-focused. It’s pattern-building. It’s building before the storm. Because one day soon—your wife will test your consistency. Your kids will watch your reactions. Your job will challenge your patience. And if you haven’t led yourself there first—you’ll fold. But if you’ve trained? You’ll lead without flinching. DRILLS – YOUR SELF-LEADERSHIP MISSIONS THIS WEEK 1. Morning Command Ritual Wake up 30 minutes earlier than normal. No phone. Journal 3 wins from yesterday and 3 leadership targets for today. Declare out loud: “I lead myself before I lead anyone else.” 2. Evening Reset Sit for 10 minutes before bed. Ask: Where did I lead? Where did I drift? Write one thing I will improve tomorrow. 3. Future Self Letter Write a one-page letter from your future self to your current self. Describe how that man leads, how he loves, how he lives. Read it every morning for the next 7 days. CALL TO ACTION If you want structure to lead yourself with daily precision, go to and grab the toolkit. The cards, rituals, and missions aren’t decorations—they’re deployment tools. You are in a war against passivity, drift, and reaction. You don’t need inspiration. You need weapons. Use the Marriage Arsenal to: Lead your morning. Frame your pursuit. Set the spiritual tone. You won’t lead your marriage well if you don’t lead yourself first. So build the system. Strengthen the habit. Fuel the fire. Lead you—before you try to lead anyone else. FINAL WORDS No one is coming to lead you. No one is going to fix you. No one is going to hand you clarity. That’s your job. That’s your role. That’s your mission. Your kids don’t need a new version of your boss. Your wife doesn’t need another reactionary speech. They need you. Clear. Calm. Disciplined. This is how legacy starts. One man. Leading himself. One day at a time. Let today be that day. Lead the damn way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36711610

#53: Lead The Way - Command Presence 05/28/2025

#53: Lead The Way - Command Presence #53: Lead The Way - Command Presence INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 2 of the Lead the Damn Way series—a masculine leadership blueprint for husbands who are ready to stop drifting, stop guessing, and start leading their homes with unshakable strength. Today we’re talking about Command Presence. Your wife doesn’t just respond to your words. She responds to your energy. Your kids don’t just hear what you say. They feel who you are. Your home doesn’t need another list of rules. It needs the presence of a man who walks in grounded authority. So if you’ve ever wondered: Why your words don’t seem to land. Why she’s still cold even after you try to connect. Why your family doesn’t move when you speak. It’s probably not your content. It’s your presence. Let’s fix that. POINT 1: PRESENCE LEADS BEFORE WORDS DO Imagine two men walk into a room. One is frantic. Fidgeting. Talking fast. Avoiding eye contact. Unsure. The other is calm. Shoulders back. Voice steady. Eyes clear. Centered. Both say the same thing. Only one gets followed. That’s the power of command presence. Command presence is the atmosphere you carry. It’s the unspoken signal that says: “I’m here. I’m grounded. I’m in charge of myself. You’re safe with me.” And here’s what no one tells you: Most women decide whether or not to follow you before you ever speak a word. Because your presence speaks first. That’s why it doesn’t matter how many books you’ve read. It doesn’t matter how well you explain yourself. If your energy doesn’t feel strong and safe—your leadership won’t land. Presence is the gateway to influence. And if you’ve lost it, you’ve lost traction. So what does command presence actually look like? Let’s break it down. POINT 2: COMMAND PRESENCE = POSTURE + TONE + CALM + CONVICTION There are four components to masculine presence. They’re simple. They’re trainable. And they will change everything. 1. Posture Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Head level. Stop shrinking your body to avoid conflict. Sit at the table like you belong there—because you do. 2. Tone Slow down your speech. Lower your voice—not volume, but depth. Cut the fluff: eliminate “I just feel like” or “Maybe we could just...” Speak like a man who means what he says. 3. Calm Stop reacting emotionally. When she’s angry, stay still. When the kids are melting down, you lower the temperature by being the thermostat—not the thermometer. A man with command presence regulates the room by regulating himself. 4. Conviction Know what you believe. Lead with certainty, even when things are uncertain. If your wife says, “What should we do about this?” and you say, “I don’t know”—you’ve just announced you’re not ready to lead. Try this instead: “I don’t have it all figured out, but here’s what I think we should do.” That’s conviction. That’s presence. STORY: FROM WEAK PRESENCE TO STRONG LEADERSHIP Let me tell you about Kyle. Kyle’s wife was checked out. Always tired. Avoided intimacy. Said things like, “I just don’t feel emotionally safe with you.” He came to me frustrated. “I’m doing everything. I’m not yelling. I’m not being mean. I’m helping around the house.” But his energy? Was small. Nervous. Apologetic. Soft. Passive. I asked him to record himself giving his wife a simple statement of vision: “Here’s what I’d like us to work on this month in our marriage.” What we watched back was a man trying not to rock the boat. No conviction. No certainty. No presence. So we trained. We built eye contact. We trained tone. We rehearsed body position. We practiced voice control. And slowly, Kyle’s posture shifted. His voice slowed. He started speaking like a man on mission. His wife didn’t even need an apology. She just needed to feel a man again. She softened. She leaned in. They reconnected. That’s the power of presence. POINT 3: PRESENCE CREATES SAFETY AND SEXUAL POLARITY Let’s talk about two things your wife craves—but won’t always say: 1. Emotional Safety She needs to know that when she escalates—you deescalate. When she lashes out—you hold your frame. When she’s overwhelmed—you stay clear. Most men try to fix. Or they retreat. Or they explode. Presence doesn’t do any of that. Presence stays steady. Presence says, “I’m not leaving. I’m not afraid. And I’m still here.” That’s safety. 2. Sexual Polarity Masculine presence activates feminine response. If you’re soft, apologetic, unclear, and hesitant—there’s nothing for her to respond to. But when you carry calm, confident, grounded masculine energy—she feels polarity. You don’t need to seduce her. You need to be solid. When she feels your strength, she relaxes. When she relaxes, she softens. When she softens, attraction returns. It all starts with presence. So let me ask you: Do you walk like a man she can trust? Do you speak like a man who knows who he is? Do you carry yourself like the leader of your home? If not—let’s fix it this week. DRILLS – YOUR 3 PRESENCE BUILDER MISSIONS 1. Daily Mirror Drill Stand in front of a mirror for 2 minutes every morning. Shoulders back. Chin up. Look yourself in the eye. Say out loud: “I carry the presence of a man worth following.” 2. Leadership Walks Each day this week, take one intentional walk with your wife, child, or colleague. Practice calm tone, low voice, slow cadence, eye contact. Don’t fill the silence. Let your presence fill the space. 3. Command Reset Ritual Choose one daily moment (coming home from work, dinner table, prayer time) where you consciously step into command presence. Practice physical posture, grounding breath, and intentional tone. CALL TO ACTION If you’re serious about building this presence—not just faking it for a few days—then get a structure that reinforces it. Go to and grab your set of cards, missions, and micro-moments that train leadership into your daily rhythm. This isn’t a theory game. This is about transformation. If your presence has been weak, confusing, or absent—this is how you rebuild it. Use the cards to reinforce pursuit. Use the missions to reinforce clarity. Use the reminders to reinforce tone. Build command presence every day until it becomes your default. FINAL WORDS Your wife doesn’t need a therapist. She doesn’t need another round of emotional coddling. She needs to feel you. She needs to feel your steadiness. She needs to feel your strength. She needs to feel your presence. This is what you were made for. This is the fire you’ve forgotten. Bring it back. You are not invisible. You are not weak. You are not lost. You are a man. You are the leader. Now walk into your home tonight like a man on mission. Shoulders back. Eyes steady. Voice clear. Speak life. Lead with calm. And let her feel the shift. Lead the damn way. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36711580

#52: Lead The Way - K*!! The Passive Man 05/27/2025

#52: Lead The Way - K*!! The Passive Man #52: Lead The Way - Kill The Passive Man INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This episode is the beginning of a new series that will change the way you lead your marriage—and your life. We’re diving into Lead the Way—a 10-part masculine leadership blueprint. Not for the polished executive. Not for the man who’s already got it all figured out. But for the man in the middle of the storm. The man whose marriage feels cold. The man who wants his wife to respect him again. The man who’s sick of being nice but never making progress. Each of these 10 episodes will challenge you, sharpen you, and change the way you operate. This isn’t fluff. This is fire. You’ll get three clear points, real-life stories, practical steps, and a final challenge that will leave you no room to hide. And today—we start where every real transformation starts: You have to kill the passive man. You’ve been told to be nice. To keep the peace. To go with the flow. But if that worked—your marriage wouldn’t be falling apart. Niceness didn’t save your marriage. Passivity didn’t make her feel safe. Silence didn’t create connection. You are not here to disappear. You are here to lead. So let’s get into it. POINT 1: PASSIVITY ISN’T PEACEKEEPING—IT’S MARRIAGE DECAY Let’s start with a brutal truth: Most men lose their marriage by being passive. Not abusive. Not intentionally cruel. Not out there sleeping around. Just... passive. You stopped leading. You stopped speaking truth. You stopped setting tone and expectation. You stopped initiating. You started reacting. You went from husband to roommate. From protector to quiet observer. And you thought that was peace. You told yourself: "I don’t want to argue." "She’s stressed, I’ll just let it go." "Maybe if I give her space, she’ll come back around." But that wasn’t peacekeeping. That was abandonment. And now you’re wondering why she doesn’t trust you. Why she won’t soften. Why the spark is gone. Let me be clear: Peace isn’t the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of order. And order only exists when a man leads. You don’t have to dominate. But you do have to show up with clarity and conviction. You do have to speak. You do have to lead the atmosphere of your home. You do have to correct patterns that erode trust. You do have to pursue her—yes, even when she’s cold. Every day you stay passive, your marriage silently decays. Let me tell you about a man I worked with—we’ll call him Mark. Mark was a good man. Paid the bills. Didn’t cheat. Showed up every night. But for years, he let his wife carry the emotional weight of the relationship. She made all the decisions. Managed the kids. Planned the dates. And over time, her respect died. Then her desire followed. And eventually, she checked out completely. Mark didn’t blow up his marriage. He just slowly stopped showing up with masculine clarity. And that’s what most men do. If you want to save your marriage—you have to lead again. And that starts with point number two. POINT 2: LEADERSHIP BEGINS WITH PRESENCE AND INITIATIVE When I say “kill the passive man,” I don’t mean become aggressive or overbearing. I don’t mean start barking orders and demanding submission. I mean you need to reclaim the weight of your presence. Because in every relationship—somebody is setting the tone. If it’s not you, it’s her. If it’s not her, it’s your kids, your job, your stress, your past. Something or someone is defining the climate of your home. And if you’re passive, that someone is not you. Let me give you a tactical checklist. These are five signs you’ve fallen into passive mode: You wait for her to bring up the hard conversations. You avoid correcting behavior that crosses the line. You haven’t initiated a pursuit moment in weeks—or months. You ask what she wants but never offer what you see or decide. You tell yourself, “It’s not worth the fight,” when deep down, it is. Leadership begins with presence. And presence begins with initiative. You must be the one who initiates the repair. You must be the one who takes responsibility for the distance. You must be the one who says, “Here’s what I see happening, and here’s what I want to rebuild.” Let me give you a line you can steal—word for word: “I haven’t been leading us well. I’ve been passive, and I own that. But I love you, and I want to rebuild connection. That starts with me showing up different.” You say that to your wife—and follow it with action? You’ll shock her system. Because she doesn’t want a hero. She wants a man who leads. Not with perfection. With presence. Not with control. With conviction. Not with mood. With mission. Leadership begins when passivity ends. Which brings us to the last point. POINT 3: YOU CAN KILL THE PASSIVE MAN WITHOUT APOLOGY OR PERMISSION Most men wait for their wife to change before they lead. They wait for her to soften. They wait for her to show affection. They wait for her to believe in them again. But that’s backward. You don’t wait to be chosen. You become the man worth choosing again. Leadership doesn’t need a green light. Leadership creates momentum. Let me say this with fire: You don’t need your wife’s permission to lead. You need your own decision. Kill the passive man. The man who waits. The man who hides. The man who tiptoes. The man who apologizes for being masculine. And bring back the man who leads with strength and steadiness. The man who speaks up. The man who follows through. The man who protects the tone. The man who isn’t afraid of her emotion. The man who resets the atmosphere of the house. You want her to come closer? Show her there’s a man at the helm again. You want to feel like a husband again? Start leading like one. You want to rebuild trust? Kill the passive man—and lead the damn way. DRILLS – YOUR 3 ASSIGNMENTS THIS WEEK Daily Declaration: Every morning, stand in front of the mirror, shoulders back, and say: “I kill the passive man today. I do not wait. I do not shrink. I do not flinch. I lead the damn way.” Have the Hard Conversation: Sit down with your wife. Own where you’ve been passive. Don’t defend. Don’t blame. Just own it. And lead forward. Initiate 3 Pursuit Moments: That could be a handwritten note, a spontaneous hug, a message on her mirror, a walk after dinner—do not ask what she wants. Lead it. CALL TO ACTION If you want to go deeper with this process, if you want daily tools to reinforce masculine leadership and connection in your home, visit . The cards, missions, and tools in The Marriage Arsenal aren’t gimmicks—they’re tactical reinforcements. You don’t need more theory. You need weapons. Tools. Structure. And if you’re serious about killing the passive man—then you need a daily rhythm that reinforces leadership. The Arsenal will help you lead with clarity, not confusion. Lead with confidence, not guessing. Lead with intention, not reaction. Go grab your set. Start leading now. FINAL WORDS This is the beginning. The moment you stop apologizing for your strength. The moment you stop waiting for her to change. The moment you stop acting like your role is optional. This is the moment you draw the line in the sand and say: “I will no longer lead from the couch. From silence. From fear. From passivity.” This is the moment you rise. You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not too far gone. You are a man. You are a leader. And you’re just getting started. Lead the way. Text me at 812.648.3380 - terry /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36711555

#51 The Pursuit Plan – Never Stop Dating Your Wife 05/22/2025

#51 The Pursuit Plan – Never Stop Dating Your Wife #51 The Pursuit Plan – Never Stop Dating Your Wife The Marriage Missions – Episode 5 (Finale) INTRO: You just heard the bell. Final round. Final mission. You’ve made it through The Marriage Arsenal. You’ve stepped into the Connection Card category. You’ve walked every step of The Marriage Missions. Now we finish where most men never even begin: Pursuit. Let me make it clear up front: If you stop pursuing her, she will feel it. And no amount of stability, chores, calmness, or coaching will fix that void. Because when a man stops pursuing his wife, It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been married. She starts to feel invisible. Today we talk about the difference between maintenance and pursuit, Why most men shift into cruise control without even realizing it, And how to reignite strategic pursuit—without begging, bribing, or performing. This is the episode your future self will thank you for. Let’s go. Point 1: Marriage Maintenance Is Not the Same as Pursuit Let’s get honest: You’ve been showing up better. You’ve been calm. You’ve been helpful. You’ve been less reactive. You’re writing cards. You’re taking the right steps. But deep down? Something still feels… flat. She’s not leaning in. She’s not playful. She’s polite, maybe appreciative, but something’s missing. What’s missing is energy. Spark. Polarity. And that doesn’t come from maintenance. It comes from pursuit. See, most men fall into this trap: They fix. They stabilize. They stop causing problems. But they also stop creating moments. And that’s not a marriage—that’s a roommate arrangement. Pursuit isn’t about being needy. It’s about choosing her again and again, on purpose. It’s about giving your attention where it counts. Not to another woman. Not to your phone. Not to your career. But to her. Pursuit is playful. Pursuit is risky. Pursuit is masculine leadership in motion. And if you stop doing it? She doesn’t feel secure. She feels forgotten. Point 2: Pursuit Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Framework Let’s kill a lie right now: “I’ll pursue her when I feel more connected to her.” Nope. You pursue her to create connection. You don’t wait until she’s warm. You pursue through the chill. That’s leadership. And it doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, we’ve already built the tool. They’re called Connection Missions™. Strategic, seasonal actions aligned with fun or meaningful dates. Each one gives you a reason, a direction, and a playful angle to re-engage her heart. No overthinking. No pressure. Just a system of pursuit. You don’t need a $200 dinner or a fancy trip. You need consistent moments that say: “I’m still choosing you. Not because I have to. Because I want to.” Here’s how you frame pursuit in your life: 1. Put it on the calendar. Treat date nights and Connection Missions like sacred appointments. 2. Use the Connection Cards to pre-seed emotional safety. Example: Leave her a card midweek that says, “I’ve got something fun planned for us this weekend. You deserve it.” That card isn’t about the date. It’s about the feeling of being seen, remembered, wanted. 3. Mix routine and surprise. Predictable rhythms build safety. Unpredictable gestures build spark. You need both. Pursuit is a muscle. And you get stronger every time you flex it. Point 3: Most Men Quit Pursuit Too Early—You Must Outlast Her Skepticism Let’s deal with this head-on: You will pursue. She will stay cold. You will plan something. She will seem unimpressed. And then you’ll say, “What’s the point?” But listen to me: Her lack of response is not rejection. It’s a test of sustainability. She’s not trying to sabotage the moment. She’s watching to see if it’s real—or if it’s just another short-term change. That’s why most men quit. They pursue for three weeks. No shift. No spark. No obvious return. So they say, “I guess it doesn’t matter.” But here’s the truth: It matters. Even if she doesn’t show it. Even if she doesn’t say it. Even if she rolls her eyes and says, “You didn’t used to do this stuff.” She notices. She’s just not ready to believe it yet. This is where most men break. But you? You don’t pursue her for her reaction. You pursue her because it’s who you are now. A man of pursuit. A man of purpose. A man who leads the connection—even when it’s quiet on the other side. Let her disbelief be the fuel—not the barrier. Let her coldness refine your consistency—not break it. Because the moment will come… …when she laughs again. …when she leans in without thinking. …when she whispers, “I missed this version of you.” And when it does? You’ll know: This was the mission that brought it back. OUTRO: You’ve reached the end of The Marriage Missions. But your leadership? Your pursuit? Your presence? That’s just getting started. Here’s your final Marriage Mission from this series: Build a 90-day Pursuit Plan. Use your Connection Cards + Connection Missions. Put it on the calendar. Execute the plan. Do it regardless of her mood. Do it regardless of how much she leans in. Do it because that’s who you’ve decided to be. And if you don’t have the tools yet? Go now: Start with the cards. Then add the missions. We’ve already built the system. All you have to do is show up and use it. FINAL THOUGHTS: You’ve heard me say it before: Your marriage doesn’t need a savior. It needs a leader. Not a perfect man. Not a poetic man. But a present, calm, consistent, pursuing man. That’s what you’re becoming. One card. One moment. One mission at a time. You’ve now completed The Marriage Arsenal. You’ve completed The Marriage Missions. But the next season? That’s all you. Lead it well. And never—ever—stop pursuing your wife. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36669555

#50 Rebuilding Trust – Micro-Gestures That Repair More Than Words 05/22/2025

#50 Rebuilding Trust – Micro-Gestures That Repair More Than Words #50 Rebuilding Trust – Micro-Gestures That Repair More Than Words The Marriage Missions – Episode 4 INTRO: You just heard the bell. Which means we’re still in the fight. But this time, we’re not swinging hard—we’re planting seeds. Welcome to Episode 4 of The Marriage Missions. Today, we talk about the most underestimated force in every marriage restoration story: Micro-gestures. Because you can’t rebuild trust with a single apology. You can’t fix years of distance with one card or one calm weekend. You need a pattern of small, deliberate moments that stack up over time. That’s what we’re covering today: Why big gestures often fail What micro-gestures actually are And how to use them to rebuild trust—one intentional moment at a time This is surgical. This is strategy. This is where she stops watching your words and starts feeling your consistency. Let’s get to work. Point 1: Trust Doesn’t Break Loud—It Erodes Quietly Let’s start with this reality: Your wife likely didn’t lose trust in you overnight. It wasn’t one big moment—though maybe one triggered the fracture. No, most trust erosion looks like this: “He said he’d be home, but ran late again.” “He promised he’d stop yelling, but he still flares up.” “He said he’d listen, but he interrupted and defended again.” “He said things would change—but they didn’t stay changed.” That’s not betrayal in the Hollywood sense. That’s death by a thousand dismissals. Quiet erosion. Repeated inconsistencies. Small gaps between your words and your actions. And now? Big gestures don’t mean anything. That weekend trip? That nice dinner? That bouquet of flowers? They feel hollow. Because they’re loud moments dropped into a sea of quiet mistrust. So what’s the fix? You don’t out-shout the erosion. You outlast it—with micro-gestures of steady leadership. That’s what rebuilding trust actually means. Not declaring “I’ve changed!” But demonstrating it—repeatedly and consistently. Point 2: Micro-Gestures Are Small Actions That Carry Emotional Weight Let’s define it: A micro-gesture is a small, unexpected, intentional act that communicates safety, presence, or care—without strings attached. These aren’t manipulations. They’re not transactions. They’re seeds. Let me give you real examples: You refill her coffee without being asked. You leave a card that says, “Just thinking about you. No pressure—just presence.” You pick up her favorite snack when you run errands—and don’t mention it. You back her up with the kids, calmly, without making it a thing. You text her midday: “No reason—just wanted you to know I’m proud of you.” You see the pattern? No expectations. No scorekeeping. No performance. Just presence. And every one of those moments says: “You’re not alone. I see you. I’m still here. I’m changing—not just for you, but because of who I want to be.” That’s what starts to rewrite the emotional script in her nervous system. Over time, she begins to wonder: “Is he really different?” “Can I breathe again around him?” “Can I start to soften again?” And then? She begins to trust—not because you said so, but because she felt it. Point 3: Ritual Creates Reassurance—Make Micro-Gestures a Rhythm Here’s the next level: It’s not about doing five nice things this week and waiting for her to melt. This isn’t magic. It’s ritual. If you want her to believe this change is real, If you want her to feel safe again, If you want her to trust you again— You need to create a repeatable rhythm of micro-gestures. You need structure. This is why The Marriage Arsenal and the Connection Missions exist. They’re not just one-time tools. They’re a leadership rhythm. Think of it like emotional fitness: You don’t get strong from one trip to the gym. You don’t build trust with one well-timed card. You build it by showing up on schedule—even when you’re not getting results yet. That’s why I recommend this simple system: 1. Weekly Check-In with Yourself (set an alarm in your phone) Ask: Have I shown her presence this week? Have I responded instead of reacted? Have I offered emotional leadership? 2. One act Per Week Drop it when she doesn’t expect it. Let it land without a conversation. Make it about her, not your need for validation. 3. Daily micro-gesture Pick one action: A kind tone when she’s sharp A chore she normally does A moment of praise without a follow-up request These don’t guarantee a response. But they guarantee a track record. And when a woman sees a man building consistency with no strings attached? That’s when she starts to trust again. OUTRO: Let’s call it like it is: Most men swing for the fences once and then give up when it doesn’t work. But you? You’re playing the long game. And the long game is built on micro-missions, micro-wins, and micro-gestures. This week’s Marriage Mission: Commit to one intentional moment per day—no matter what her response is. And deliver one Connection Card—not to change her, but to prove you’re changing. Trust isn’t repaired with declarations. It’s rebuilt through demonstration. Start today. Go to if you haven’t yet. The right card is already waiting for the moment you’re about to lead. FINAL THOUGHTS: You’re not just fixing what broke. You’re forging something new. The man who led inconsistently is gone. The man who shows up on mission is rising. One small moment at a time. One signal at a time. One quiet act of presence that says: “This isn’t a sprint. This isn’t a stunt. This is who I’ve decided to be.” That’s how trust is rebuilt. And that’s why you’re still in the ring. Next up? Episode 9 – The Pursuit Plan: Never Stop Dating Your Wife The final episode of The Marriage Missions. Don’t miss it. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36669505

#49 Tactical Presence – How to Lead with Words When She’s Cold or Closed Off 05/21/2025

#49 Tactical Presence – How to Lead with Words When She’s Cold or Closed Off #49 Tactical Presence – How to Lead with Words When She’s Cold or Closed Off INTRO: You just heard the bell. And if you’re hearing this episode… It means you’re still in the ring. Still fighting. Still leading. Still showing up even when it feels like she’s emotionally gone. This is Episode 3 of The Marriage Missions, and this one is a battle. Because today, we’re talking about those cold, quiet, disconnected moments. You know the ones: She’s withdrawn. She’s short. She gives you nothing. You feel like every attempt to reach her is either ignored or deflected. And let’s be real—it makes you want to give up. Because how do you lead a woman who isn’t letting you in? The answer? Tactical Presence. Today I’m going to teach you how to show up as a calm, grounded, intentional man—when everything in you wants to retreat or react. We’ll cover: What’s actually happening when she goes cold How to speak into silence without pressuring her And how to lead the atmosphere of your marriage when she won’t engage Let’s get to work. Point 1: Her Coldness Isn’t Always About You—But It Is Your Responsibility Let’s set the record straight: When your wife goes cold, it doesn’t always mean she’s punishing you. It doesn’t mean she hates you. And it definitely doesn’t mean your effort is worthless. But it does mean something’s wrong. The masculine mistake is thinking: “If she’s not responding, I’ll just stop trying.” That’s not leadership. That’s retreat. Let’s reframe her coldness: It’s not rejection—it’s protection. Protection from disappointment Protection from emotional overwhelm Protection from patterns she still fears you haven’t broken You don’t fix that by trying harder. You don’t fix it by doing more. You fix it by showing up with calm consistency. That’s Tactical Presence. Not loud. Not needy. Not walking on eggshells. Just being unshakeable. It sounds like: “Hey—I know you’re going through a lot. I’m not asking you to talk. Just know I’m here.” “I’m not going to force anything. But I’m not going to disappear either.” Or better yet… a card that says: “I can’t control the distance between us. But I will keep showing up—because you matter.” That’s a message she’s not used to hearing. That’s leadership she’s not used to seeing. And over time? That presence speaks louder than any perfect words ever could. Point 2: Stop Matching Her Mood—Start Mastering Yours This is where most men fail. She’s cold? He gets colder. She’s quiet? He starts stonewalling. She’s emotionally distant? He numbs out, checks out, or lashes out. That’s not presence. That’s codependence. You’ve got to stop matching her and start mastering you. Because here’s the truth: Your presence isn’t tested when she’s warm. It’s tested when she’s withholding. If you can stay grounded when she’s frustrated… If you can be kind when she’s short… If you can stay intentional when she’s disengaged… You become undeniable. This doesn’t mean being a doormat. This doesn’t mean begging for attention. This means choosing your posture regardless of hers. That’s Tactical Presence. So how do you get there? Anchor your emotions to your mission (from Episode 5). You’re not here for a reaction—you’re here to lead. Create small, strategic moments that don’t require her participation. Leave her a card. Send a short note. Offer help without comment. Stop asking for reassurance. She may not give it. Lead anyway. This is the emotional backbone of a man who’s becoming undeniable. You’re no longer swayed by her mood. You’re not waiting for her to go first. You’re the thermostat, not the thermometer. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. Point 3: Words Don’t Have to Be Loud—They Have to Be Well-Timed Let’s get surgical here. When she’s cold, it’s tempting to throw everything at her: Big speeches Emotional conversations Endless questions like “Are you okay?” or “What’s wrong?” That’s not leadership. That’s pressure. And pressure in cold seasons creates shutdown—not connection. So what do you do? You lead with timing, not volume. You say less—but with precision. Here’s the framework: 1. Use short, grounded statements that acknowledge the truth. Example: “I feel the distance between us. I’m not going anywhere.” Or: “I know this season is heavy. I just want you to know I’m still here, still leading, still showing up.” 2. Deliver something tangible that reinforces your emotional leadership. That’s where Connection Cards come in. Why? Because they allow you to say what matters—without triggering a defensive wall. She can read it on her own. She can re-read it later. She can receive it in a low-pressure way. That’s tactical. It’s not about emotional fireworks. It’s about emotional steadiness. Think of it like a flare on a dark night: “I’m still here. I still care. I’m still fighting.” Even if she doesn’t respond, the flare was seen. And over time? She starts to believe it wasn’t just a phase. It’s who you’ve become. OUTRO: This is how warriors lead cold seasons. Calm. Steady. Intentional. Unmoved. You don’t need her to be warm for you to be present. You don’t need her to validate you to be grounded. You don’t need her to open up before you start showing up. You are the thermostat. And this week’s Marriage Mission is clear: Do not match her mood—master yours. Deliver a pre-built moment of connection (a Connection Card) with zero pressure. Show up with presence—not performance. If you don’t have your Arsenal yet, get it now: The right words. The right moments. The right man. Next week? We tackle one of the most powerful topics in this whole series: Rebuilding Trust – Micro-Gestures That Repair More Than Words That’s where it starts getting real. Don’t miss it. FINAL THOUGHTS: Brother—this season isn’t punishment. It’s preparation. It’s preparing you to lead with emotional command, not just emotional hope. You’re building presence in the cold. And that kind of leadership? Changes everything. One moment at a time. One card at a time. One calm word at a time. This is Tactical Presence. This is your mission. Now lead it. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36655765

#48 Emotional Intel – What You’re Missing About Her Signals 05/21/2025

#48 Emotional Intel – What You’re Missing About Her Signals #48 Emotional Intel – What You’re Missing About Her Signals INTRO: You just heard the bell. Back in the ring. Back on mission. Welcome to Episode 2 of The Marriage Missions—and today, we’re upgrading your operating system. Because I need to hit you with a hard truth most men never hear: You’ve been trying to lead a woman whose emotional language you don’t understand. You’ve been fighting for connection… You’ve been saying and doing the right things (mostly)… But she still feels cold, distant, or resentful. Why? Because you’ve been missing her signals. Today we’re sharpening your Emotional Intel. We’re going to teach you how to read her cues, decode her silence, and understand what she’s really saying beneath the surface. This episode isn’t about becoming a therapist. It’s about becoming a leader who knows how to interpret the battlefield—so he stops firing blanks and starts landing connection. Let’s go. Point 1: Most Men Are Speaking Loudly—But Missing What She’s Actually Saying You’ve heard this before: “I just don’t feel connected anymore.” “You’re here, but you’re not really with me.” “I don’t feel safe opening up to you.” And if you’re like most men, your response was something like: “But I haven’t yelled.” “But I’ve been helping more.” “But I’m still here, aren’t I?” What you don’t realize is—you’re answering the wrong question. You’re measuring your actions. She’s feeling your atmosphere. Here’s the intel you’ve been missing: Women often speak in signal, not speech. They emote, withdraw, soften, tense up—all before they say a word. And if you miss that window, you lose the moment. It’s not that she’s being passive-aggressive. It’s that her nervous system is scanning for safety before she ever chooses to speak. Let me break it down practically: When she sighs and looks away while folding laundry—she’s saying: “I feel alone in this.” When she shuts down mid-conversation—it means: “I don’t feel safe to say what I really mean.” When she’s short or sarcastic—it’s a test: “Can you stay calm when I’m not easy to love?” These are the signals most men ignore—or worse, get defensive about. But if you learn to read those signals with calm confidence? You become emotionally elite. You stop overreacting. You stop misfiring. You start landing presence in moments that matter. That’s what Emotional Intel is. Not being hyper-sensitive. Being highly intentional. Point 2: You Don’t Need to Solve the Problem—You Need to Signal Safety Let’s kill a myth that’s keeping you stuck: She doesn’t want you to fix everything. She wants to feel seen. That’s it. Most men make the same mistake: She opens up. She expresses something heavy. And we jump into problem-solving mode. Why? Because we think value = solutions. But in her world, value = connection. She’s not testing your IQ. She’s testing your EQ. She’s watching: “Can he just sit with me in this?” “Can he stay calm when I’m spinning?” “Can he hold space without hijacking the moment?” Here’s a mission-aligned truth: Your job isn’t to fix her feelings. It’s to help her feel safe having them in your presence. You do that with simple moves: A soft “I get it” instead of a fix-it plan. Eye contact instead of interruption. A card that says, “I know I can’t fix everything—but I’m with you. You’re not alone.” That’s what Connection Cards are for. They take the pressure off the moment. They give her something to hold, to feel, to revisit. They say, “I’m present, even when I’m quiet.” This is emotional leadership, brother. Not louder. Not softer. Just sharper. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. Point 3: Precision Creates Connection – Sloppy Emotion Creates Chaos Let’s get tactical. Imagine being on a mission and firing rounds blindly into the dark. What happens? You waste energy. You hit the wrong targets. You compromise the mission. Same in marriage. Most men either: Avoid emotional moments completely (so they never connect), or Fumble their way through them, get frustrated, and blow things up. Either way, connection is lost. But what if you moved with precision? What if you knew how to name what she was feeling before she said it? Not perfectly. But with enough confidence to disarm her defenses? That’s elite-level emotional intel. And here’s the playbook: Slow down your response time. When she drops a sharp comment, take a breath before you react. Observe the moment, not just the words. Look at her eyes. Posture. Tone. What’s she not saying? Ask a signal-based question. “That felt heavier than it sounded. Want to talk about it?” “You’ve been quieter lately—want some space, or should I sit with you?” Follow up with a Connection Card. After the moment passes, don’t let it drift. Deliver something intentional. A message she didn’t expect, but needed. This kind of leadership makes you undeniable. Not because you have it all figured out. But because she can feel your emotional clarity. Your command presence. Your willingness to see her without trying to fix her. That’s what most men never learn. That’s what you’re learning now. OUTRO: You’ve got the intel now. Not just on her—but on yourself. You’re no longer the man who misses the moment and justifies it with effort. You’re the man who reads the moment and leads with intention. Here’s your Marriage Mission this week: Practice emotional signal recognition. Don’t fix—hold space. Use a Connection Card to signal presence, not pressure. And if you haven’t yet? Get the cards. You can’t build Connection without a plan and without tools. Load your right now. . Go to . They’re waiting for you. Next week, we’re going deeper. Tactical Presence – How to Lead with Words When She’s Cold or Closed Off. It’s where everything shifts from internal awareness to external influence. Stay sharp. Stay calm. Stay on mission. FINAL THOUGHTS: Brother—this is the kind of man you were meant to be. Not guessing. Not exploding. Not numbing out. But reading the room. Leading with calm. And forging trust where others would fold. This is Emotional Intel. This is how you lead a woman’s heart—without controlling it. This is how you become undeniable. Let’s keep going. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36655710

#47 Mission Clarity – What Does Winning Even Look Like in Your Marriage? 05/20/2025

#47 Mission Clarity – What Does Winning Even Look Like in Your Marriage? #47 Mission Clarity – What Does Winning Even Look Like in Your Marriage? Men, Save Your Marriage Podcast – Marriage Missions Series Part 1 INTRO: You just heard the bell. Back in the ring. New series. New mission. Same fight—for her, for your family, for your legacy. This is Episode 1 of The Marriage Missions, and right now, we’re shifting from words… to presence. From what to say… to how to live. From pre-built moments… to intentional movements. Let me tell you why this series matters: You’ve been listening. You’ve ordered the cards. You’re leaning in. You’re starting to say the right things. But now? You need a mission. Not vague hopes. Not random effort. Not “trying harder.” You need clarity. Because if I asked you right now: “What does success in your marriage actually look like?” Could you answer in one sentence? Could you define winning? Because here’s the truth: You can’t lead what you haven’t defined. And most men are stuck in their marriage because they’re swinging in the dark. Today, we’re fixing that. We’re going to build your mission. We’re going to define what leadership looks like in your house. And we’re going to start shifting from reactive to strategic. Let’s get to work. Point 1: Most Men Are Trying to Win—But They Don’t Know the Score Let me lay it out straight: Most men are working hard in their marriage… But they’re not leading it. They’re reacting. They’re apologizing. They’re overthinking every word. But they’re not operating from a clear personal mission. And that’s why their efforts feel like they’re going nowhere. Let me give you an example: He does the dishes. He picks up the kids. He gives her space. He writes a nice card. But then he gets frustrated when she’s still distant. Why? Because he’s working without direction. And when you don’t know what winning looks like… You will always feel like you’re losing. So let me ask you: What’s your clear objective in this marriage? Not just “make her happy.” Not just “avoid divorce.” Not even “be a better man.” Those are feelings. You need a mission. Here’s what a mission sounds like: “To create a marriage culture where my wife feels safe, seen, and supported—because of the way I show up daily.” Or… “To become the kind of man my children will one day thank for loving their mother fiercely and faithfully.” Or… “To restore trust, lead with consistency, and show her—through repeated moments—that I will not abandon this fight.” You hear that? That’s a mission. And once you have it? You can reverse-engineer your days. Your tone. Your schedule. Your card strategy. Your presence. You stop winging it. You start leading it. Write your mission down today. Frame it. Carry it. Repeat it. Because when you know your aim, every action has weight. Point 2: Without Mission, Your Emotions Will Become Your Master Let’s go deeper. What happens when you don’t have a mission? You default to your mood. You react instead of respond. You start tracking her behavior instead of leading your own. You become like a thermostat without a setting—constantly changing based on the emotional temperature around you. Let me give you the real-world picture: She’s distant, so you get defensive. She’s short, so you shut down. She doesn’t notice your effort, so you explode with resentment. You know the cycle. But if you’re driven by emotion—not mission—you’ll never create peace. Now hear me—your emotions aren’t bad. They’re real. They’re signals. But they’re not steering wheels. They’re dashboard lights. Useful—but not in charge. Mission gives you a standard. Let me show you the shift: Instead of, “She’s cold, so I’ll retreat,” you say, “My mission is to create safety. I will stay calm and present.” Instead of, “She’s distant, so I’ll stop trying,” you say, “My mission is to rebuild trust. I will lead the next moment.” Instead of, “This is unfair,” you say, “This is a test of who I said I wanted to become.” That’s the power of mission. It frees you from reacting and anchors you in who you choose to be. It gives you the backbone to stand firm in chaos. That’s what she needs from you. That’s what your kids need from you. That’s what you need from you. Point 3: Leadership Is Measured in Moments—Not Metrics Let me be blunt: You’re not going to get daily praise. She’s not going to thank you every time you hold your tongue or step in with calm. You may not see instant feedback. And if you’re mission-less, that lack of validation will kill your drive. But if you’re mission-driven? You’ll stop measuring your marriage by reactions—and start measuring it by moments you chose to lead. So let’s talk about those moments: The night she’s exhausted and you hand her a card that says, “I see how hard you’re trying. You’re not alone.” The argument you de-escalate by staying grounded. The Saturday morning you lead the kids and let her rest—without a comment or a complaint. The day you take a card from the Arsenal and leave it in her glovebox with zero fanfare. Those are moments. They won’t go viral. They won’t always be noticed. But they compound. They accumulate. They become your legacy. Because leadership in marriage isn’t built in grand gestures—it’s forged in quiet, consistent presence. Every card you give. Every tone you choose. Every decision to show up. That’s what builds culture. And your mission? That’s what tells you which moments to create. So brother—stop waiting to feel motivated. Start moving on mission. OUTRO: You are the leader of your home. Not because you say so— But because you’ve chosen to define what winning looks like, And you’re building a rhythm that reflects it. Let’s recap your first Marriage Mission: Define your mission in one sentence. Let it guide your tone, decisions, and cards. Measure your success in moments, not moods. You’re not the old you. You’re not guessing. You’re not reacting. You are building something. Go to and make sure you have your Connection Cards in hand. The words are there. The tools are ready. Now it’s time to execute. This is Mission Clarity. And next week? We dive into Emotional Intel—how to read her signals, stop misfires, and start landing connection in her language. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. FINAL THOUGHTS: You weren’t put on this earth to float. You were made to forge. To lead. To carry vision into the chaos and create clarity. Most men never define what they’re after— So they chase approval and call it leadership. Not you. Not anymore. You have a mission. You have the moment. You have the tools. Now lead. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36639625

#46 Connection Cards – Why Store-Bought Cards Aren’t Enough 05/20/2025

#46 Connection Cards – Why Store-Bought Cards Aren’t Enough #46 Connection Cards – Why Store-Bought Cards Aren’t Enough Men, Save Your Marriage Podcast – Category Introduction Transition Episode INTRO: You just heard the bell. Back in the ring, brother—this time, not just to fix a problem... But to redefine the way men connect. In the last three episodes, we walked through The Marriage Arsenal—how to lead emotionally, how to speak with clarity, and how to rebuild trust. But today? We’re stepping into something bigger. Because I need to tell you something the world isn’t ready for—but you are: Hallmark doesn’t speak your language. Store-bought cards are emotional fast food—quick, cheap, and forgettable. And your marriage? Your legacy? Your relationships? They’re starving for something more. Today I’m introducing you to a new category. Not greeting cards. Not gift cards. Not a $3 apology with glitter and a puppy on the front. Connection Cards. Moments that matter. Pre-built. Purposeful. Designed for men who lead with intention. This isn’t a product. It’s a movement. And today, we plant the flag. Point 1: Store-Bought Cards Are a Lie – and We’ve Been Playing Along Let’s cut straight through it: Walk into any card aisle right now. What do you see? Flowery fonts. Flimsy paper. Cringe-worthy poetry. And a fake idea of what connection actually looks like. You flip through a dozen of them… And maybe—maybe—you find one that doesn’t make you feel like a fraud. So what do most men do? They grab something “close enough,” sign their name, and hope it works. But let me ask you: Is that leadership? Is that presence? Is that the legacy you want to leave in her hands? Store-bought cards are a lie. They pretend to be personal—but they were written by a team of marketers in a backroom focus group. They were made for mass consumption, not real connection. And we’ve been playing along because no one gave us a better way. Until now. Connection Cards aren’t fluffy. They’re forged. They don’t try to charm. They speak with calm clarity. They don’t try to impress. They lead. These are tools for men who want to communicate with presence, power, and purpose. Not just say something… but forge a moment. And when you hand your wife one of these cards— You’re not giving her a Hallmark line. You’re giving her your presence. Your commitment. Your leadership. That’s not a greeting. That’s a signal. Point 2: Connection Doesn’t Happen by Accident – It Has to Be Designed Let me ask you a hard question: How many moments in your relationship have actually moved the needle? Not just a vacation. Not just a big date night. I’m talking about the small, pre-built moments of emotional weight: The words she re-reads twice. The message that arrives on a random Tuesday but hits at just the right time. The sentence that makes her put the phone down and look you in the eyes. Those aren’t accidents. They’re designed. And most men? They have no design. No strategy. No rhythm. They wait until a holiday. Or a breakdown. Or a crisis. And then try to patch the hole with a Valentine’s card from the gas station. That’s not leadership. Connection Cards change that. Each one is pre-built to lead a specific moment: The hard week when she’s burned out. The fight you can’t resolve in words. The season when she feels invisible. The moment you want to remind her, “I see you. I choose you.” You don’t have to wait for the right words to come. You don’t have to wing it. You don’t have to stress. You just open the Arsenal. Pick the card. And lead the moment. That’s what Connection Cards are: Moments that matter—ready when you are. Point 3: Leadership Means Creating Culture—And You’re the Culture in Your Family Here’s the real shift: This isn’t just about your wife. This is about your family culture. What you model for your sons. What you normalize for your daughters. What kind of emotional intelligence becomes the standard in your home. Most men grew up in silence. Maybe their dad loved them. Maybe not. But they didn’t hear it. Didn’t see it. Didn’t feel it. We’re ending that story—today. You are the culture now. You are the emotional climate. You are the one who sets the tone. Connection Cards give you the ability to lead that climate on purpose. This year? You’ll write her name more often. You’ll express what matters most when it’s hardest to say. You’ll lead your marriage with words that match your mission. But it won’t stop there. Because when your son graduates, you’ll hand him one too. When your daughter hits a milestone, she’ll get one from you—not just Mom. When your brother loses his job or your dad retires, you’ll have something to say—and the words to say it. That’s how we break the chain. That’s how we create something new. That’s how we replace “just a card” with a masculine ritual of emotional leadership. And make no mistake—this is a new category. Not for everyone. But for the men who lead. For the men who love fiercely. For the men who refuse to outsource their heart. OUTRO: Welcome to the category. You’re not just buying cards. You’re building culture. You’re not just giving a message. You’re leading moments that matter. This is Connection Cards. And it starts right now. Go to and pre-order the Founder's Set. These aren’t mass-market cards. They’re forged for men who want more than “good enough.” This is how we change the way connection happens. One man at a time. One moment at a time. One mission at a time. FINAL THOUGHTS: Store-bought cards were made to be thrown away. Connection Cards were made to be remembered. To be tucked away in drawers. To be re-read in silence. To be held long after the moment has passed. They are emotional anchors—proof of presence, clarity, and calm strength. You’re not just leading your marriage. You’re leading a movement. One day, thousands of men will follow your example. But it starts with you. Right now. This week. This card. And next week? We begin The Marriage Missions series—five tactical ways to live out what you just wrote down. The words were the start. Now it’s time to lead with your presence. Go to Get the cards. Forge the moment. Lead the mission. This is just the beginning. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36639555

#45 Trust Rebuilt – Why She’s Testing Your Change (and How to Lead Anyway) 05/20/2025

#45 Trust Rebuilt – Why She’s Testing Your Change (and How to Lead Anyway) #45 Trust Rebuilt – Why She’s Testing Your Change (and How to Lead Anyway) Men, Save Your Marriage Podcast – Marriage Arsenal Series Part 3 INTRO: You just heard the bell. You know what that means. We’re back in the ring—together. Fighting not to win an argument, but to win her heart again. This is Part 3 of our special series on The Marriage Arsenal—and this episode might be the hardest pill to swallow yet. Because today we’re tackling the real reason your marriage still feels stuck: She doesn’t trust your change. She doesn’t believe it’s real. She doesn’t trust that this new version of you is going to last. And no matter what you do—no matter how calm, kind, or consistent you try to be— She keeps testing you. Pulling back. Throwing shade. Acting cold. Sometimes even accusing you of being manipulative or fake. And if you’re not careful? You’ll throw your hands up and say, “What’s the point?” But don’t you dare quit now. Because what feels like rejection... is actually a test. And not to hurt you— But to see if the man she’s hoping for is real. Today, I’m going to show you: Why she doesn’t trust you (even if you’ve changed), How to handle the tests without blowing up, And how to lead her heart consistently—even when she’s emotionally gone. This is the fight you were made for. Let’s go. Point 1: She’s Not Testing You to Punish You—She’s Testing You to Protect Herself Let’s talk truth. You’re not crazy. She is acting cold. She is pushing you away. She is questioning your intentions. And yeah—sometimes it feels like she wants you to fail so she can say, “See? I knew it.” But here’s the deeper layer: She’s scared. Scared to believe in you again. Scared to be disappointed. Scared to open up and get hurt—again. Most men make the mistake of interpreting her resistance as bitterness. But it’s not bitterness. It’s self-protection. Think about it: If she let herself believe that you were really different—and then you reverted? That’s more painful than never believing at all. So she guards herself. She tests your tone. She watches for cracks. And in those tests, she’s really asking: “Can I trust you?” “Will you react the same way you used to?” “Is this change real… or just another manipulation?” This is the moment where most men collapse. They say: “I’ve changed, and she still doesn’t care, so forget it.” Or they lash out: “I’m doing all this and it’s still not good enough for you?!” But if you want to lead—really lead— You need to see the test for what it is: An opportunity to prove consistency. A call to keep showing up with calm strength. A chance to become undeniable. Not with perfect words. Not with endless talks. But with steady, strategic action. That’s where The Marriage Arsenal becomes your greatest tool. Point 2: When She Pulls Away, You Lead with Presence—Not Pressure Here’s the gut-check: You’re going to feel rejected. She’s going to ignore the good you’re doing. She’s going to act like it’s not enough. She’s going to act like your effort doesn’t matter. And you’ll want to retreat. Or push harder. Or defend yourself. Don’t. Pressure breaks trust. Presence builds it. Let me say that again: Pressure breaks trust. Presence builds it. The old you might have tried to force her to see your effort. To guilt-trip her. To beg for recognition. But the man you’re becoming doesn’t need her applause. He leads even when it’s thankless. And the best way to do that? Pre-built moments of presence. Not big speeches. Not walking on eggshells. Not passive-aggressive distance. Just calm, quiet leadership. You hand her a card—not to change her mood, but to demonstrate your presence. A simple message like: “I’m not perfect. But I’m trying. And I still believe in us.” That’s it. No pressure. No expectation. Just presence. And over time? That presence becomes her proof. The card isn’t the magic—it’s the consistency that surrounds it. One card won’t change her. But a series of clear, intentional, emotion-connected moments? That rewires the entire dynamic. You stop being the threat. And start becoming the safe place again. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. Point 3: Trust Isn’t Earned Once—It’s Forged Over Time Most men ask me: “How long is this going to take?” “How many cards do I need to give before she softens up?” “When will she finally trust that I’ve changed?” Wrong questions. The better question is: “Am I willing to become the kind of man who keeps showing up, even when it’s hard?” Because trust isn’t earned with a single grand gesture. It’s forged through repetition. You show up calm—even when she’s tense. You stay consistent—even when she’s distant. You lead with words—even when they aren’t reciprocated. The Marriage Arsenal gives you the tools for that repetition. It gives you structure. 12+ cards you can use throughout the year—matched to moments. Each one written for the emotional weight you’re carrying. Each one designed to land—not just be read. You don’t have to invent emotional leadership. You just have to step into it. When you use The Marriage Arsenal, you build a track record. A timeline of intentional leadership. That’s what earns trust. That’s what she’ll remember. That’s what breaks through the walls. Not the perfect phrase. But the undeniable pattern. You keep showing up with clarity, presence, and purpose. And eventually? She sees the man you are—not the man you were. OUTRO: You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not failing. You’re in the middle of the test—and most men never make it this far. This is where the quitters tap out. This is where the passive men check out. This is where the emotional boys throw a tantrum and say, “She’s impossible.” But not you. You’re not quitting. You’re forging forward. And The Marriage Arsenal is how you lead with intention when your words feel weak. Go to . Order the set. Use the cards. Not once. Not twice. But as a pattern of pursuit. You’re not just giving her a message. You’re giving her evidence. FINAL THOUGHTS: Brother, your marriage isn’t dead. But trust is on life support. You don’t need louder actions. You don’t need bigger gifts. You need clear moments of calm, emotional leadership—repeated over time. That’s what builds belief. That’s what rebuilds trust. That’s what makes her feel safe enough to open again. This is how we close out the Marriage Arsenal series. But we’re not done. In the next episode, I’m introducing a whole new category: Connection Cards. You’ll learn why every store-bought card is a missed opportunity, Why words without purpose are just noise, And how we’re forging a movement of men who lead moments that matter. Stay tuned. And in the meantime? You already know the next step. Lead the moment. Forge the connection. Be the man who shows up when it counts. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36639510

#44 The Marriage Arsenal - The Emotional Gap – Why She Feels Miles Away 05/19/2025

#44 The Marriage Arsenal - The Emotional Gap – Why She Feels Miles Away #44 The Marriage Arsenal - The Emotional Gap – Why She Feels Miles Away (Even When You’re in the Same Room) Men, Save Your Marriage Podcast – Marriage Arsenal Series Part 2 INTRO: You just heard the bell. That means we’re back in the ring. Not to trade blows. But to trade confusion for clarity. Distance for connection. And silence for strength. This is Part 2 of our special series: The Marriage Arsenal. And today, we’re stepping straight into the pain most men don’t want to admit: She feels far away. You’re still living in the same house. You’re doing the things. Trying to stay calm. Holding back the frustration. But no matter what you do… she feels like a stranger. And it’s breaking you. Here’s the hard truth: Emotional distance is the slowest way to die. Not loud fights. Not even cheating. But quiet resentment. Cold shoulders. Closed doors. That’s what ends most marriages. Not because men don’t care—but because we didn’t know how to reach her. Today, I’m going to show you why the emotional gap exists, how it got this wide, and what you can do to start bridging it. No more guessing. No more walking on eggshells. Let’s get to work. Point 1: Emotional Safety Is the Foundation—Not the Reward Let’s go deep immediately: You’ve probably thought, “If she would just soften up, I could be more vulnerable. If she’d stop attacking me, I could open up.” But that’s not how it works. Emotional safety is not something she earns. It’s something you lead with. You’re the man. That doesn’t mean you’re the boss. It means you go first. Most women close up when they don’t feel safe—not physically, but emotionally. And here’s what that means: She doesn’t trust your words. She doesn’t trust your silence. And she doesn’t trust that being close to you will feel good anymore. So she withdraws. She numbs. She stops leaning in. And then we, as men, interpret that as “She doesn’t care.” But more often? It means she’s protecting herself. Now pause for a second. Think about the last 10 days: What’s been the climate of your relationship? Has she had to guess if you’re upset? Has she had to tiptoe around your reactions? Has she had to beg for your attention? Those things add up. And eventually, she stops trying to reach you. Now here’s where The Marriage Arsenal steps in: You may not be able to solve the problem today. You may not be able to talk for hours and hash things out. But you can rebuild safety with one intentional moment. You can hand her a card that says: “I know we’re not where we want to be. But I’m still here. Still fighting for us. Still believing in you.” That card doesn’t fix everything. But it plants a seed. It tells her, “He sees me. He’s safe. He’s leading again.” That’s how the gap starts to close. Point 2: You’ve Been Showing Up—But in a Language She Can’t Receive You’ve been doing better. More patient. More helpful. More stable. And yet… she’s still cold. Why? Because effort doesn’t equal connection if it’s not received in her language. Let me break it down: You clean the kitchen. She doesn’t say thank you. You watch the kids. She still looks distant. You stop yelling. She still doesn’t trust you. That’s frustrating. It feels one-sided. But it’s not because your effort doesn’t matter—it’s because it doesn’t land. Most men show love the way they want to receive it. But love isn’t just what you do—it’s how it’s heard. And when there’s emotional damage, the signal gets scrambled. She doesn’t feel the love—even when it’s there—because there’s no bridge. And brother, that’s what The Marriage Arsenal is: a bridge. You don’t have to decode her psychology. You don’t have to become a poet. You don’t have to wing it. You just pick the card that says what needs to be said—in a way she can actually receive it. Here’s what one man told me after using just two cards: “It was like she finally heard me. Like I’d been yelling through a wall for months, and this time—she turned toward me.” It wasn’t the card. It was the intentional language. And that’s what most men are missing. Your effort is not the problem. Your language is. Fix that—and you start closing the emotional gap. Point 3: Connection Doesn’t Come from Talking More—It Comes from Leading Moments Let’s clear up a lie right now: You do not have to become more talkative to lead emotionally. You do not have to turn into a therapist. You do not have to hash out every fight. You need to lead moments—not monologues. Your wife doesn’t want more words. She wants meaningful connection. And sometimes, that starts with a note she reads while putting away the groceries. Sometimes it’s a card left on her pillow. Sometimes it’s a message dropped at just the right moment with no strings attached. Those are pre-built moments of connection. That’s what The Marriage Arsenal gives you. You don’t have to overthink it. You don’t have to improvise. You don’t have to hope you say the right thing. You just lead. Intentionally. Consistently. Masculinely. And over time? The distance starts to close. The bridge starts to form. And she starts to see you—not the old you, not the defensive you—the man you’re becoming. You’re not fixing everything. You’re showing up. And that’s what creates connection. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. OUTRO: This is the path. Not begging. Not blowing up. Not pulling back into silence. But leading her heart with calm, consistent clarity. You’ve been trying. Now it’s time to lead with precision. Go to . Get the cards. Start closing the gap—one moment at a time. Because she’s not gone. She’s guarded. And it’s your job to reach her. FINAL THOUGHTS: Brother—she wants to be close. But closeness can’t be commanded. It must be cultivated. And that starts with presence. Presence built on words that land. Moments that matter. And a man who’s done waiting for her to come around. You’re here. You’re fighting. You’re leading. In the next episode, we’ll dive into what happens when she doesn’t trust your change—and how to stay consistent even when she tests it. But don’t wait until the next fight to make your move. Start now. Lead now. Show her who you are becoming. This is The Marriage Arsenal. Use it well. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36624050

#43 The Marriage Arsenal – Why Words Matter When Actions Aren’t Enough 05/19/2025

#43 The Marriage Arsenal – Why Words Matter When Actions Aren’t Enough #43 The Marriage Arsenal – Why Words Matter When Actions Aren’t Enough Men, Save Your Marriage Podcast – Special Series Part 1 "Welcome to The Marriage Arsenal — the tactical podcast for men who refuse to lose their marriage without a fight. This is not therapy. This is strategy. Each episode is a weapon — forged to help you lead, pursue, and rebuild intimacy with the woman you vowed to love. I’m your host, Terry — husband, father, chef, Navy vet, and founder of Men, Save Your Marriage. If you're tired of walking on eggshells, tired of guessing what went wrong, and ready to fight like hell for your wife — — then you're in the right place. Load up. Lock in. Let’s go to war for what matters most." INTRO: You just heard the bell. That means it’s time to fight. Not with her. Not with yourself. But for her. For your marriage. For the legacy you were born to lead. Welcome to a special series inside the Men, Save Your Marriage podcast. Today, we’re opening The Marriage Arsenal. Not a collection of clichés. Not some cute, store-bought set of throwaway cards. What we’re talking about is a tactical, battle-tested system to help you lead emotionally—especially when your words and actions haven’t been enough. Because here’s the truth: You’ve been told that actions speak louder than words— But in marriage? Sometimes your silence screams. Sometimes your inaction sounds like apathy. Sometimes your well-intentioned, tired, “fix-it” energy makes her feel like a problem—not a person. That’s where The Marriage Arsenal comes in. It’s a set of pre-built emotional moments—written by a man, for men—designed to help you say the right thing, in the right way, at the right time. Today, I’m going to show you why words matter, what’s been missing from your communication, and how The Marriage Arsenal gives you something most men don’t have: A weaponized sense of timing, clarity, and calm connection. Let’s get to work. Point 1: Silence Isn’t Strength. It’s Confusion in Disguise. Let’s start here: If your marriage is struggling, and she feels distant, chances are you’ve said this to yourself: “I don’t know what to say.” “Nothing I say is going to make it better anyway.” “If I just give her space, maybe she’ll come around.” Wrong. In a crisis, silence doesn’t make you noble. It makes you unclear. It makes her feel abandoned, even if you’re standing right in front of her. Let me make this very practical: You walk in the door. She’s cold. Distant. You do the dishes. You help the kids. You’re trying. But when she walks into the room… you freeze. Because you’ve told yourself: “I’ll mess it up if I speak.” What you don’t realize is—your silence is speaking. And what she’s hearing is: “He’s not fighting for me.” “He doesn’t know me.” “He doesn’t even see I’m hurting.” You don’t need perfect words. You need presence. You need to show her that even in discomfort, you choose to engage. The Marriage Arsenal was built for this exact moment. When the air is heavy. When she won’t meet your eyes. When your actions alone aren’t breaking through. You hand her the card. She reads your heart—because the words are already waiting. “I know it’s hard between us right now. I’m not giving up. And I see you.” That’s leadership. That’s connection. That’s how you start forging something new. Point 2: Most Men Don’t Lack Effort—They Lack Language. Here’s something I’ve learned coaching hundreds of men: You don’t have a laziness problem. You don’t have a selfishness problem. You don’t even have an emotional awareness problem. What you have is a language gap. You’re doing the work. You’re making changes. But you’re still communicating in a way she can’t receive. Because here’s the masculine mindset: “If I’m fixing stuff, that’s love.” “If I’m not yelling, that’s progress.” “If I’m still here, doesn’t that say enough?” But here’s the truth: Love unspoken is often love unseen. Leadership without clarity is confusion. And if you want to reconnect with her heart, you need to speak in a way that gets past her defenses and into her emotions. That’s what The Marriage Arsenal is for. It’s not poetry. It’s not a card aisle cliché. It’s a system of emotionally intelligent language that helps you say what’s real—without fumbling through it. Because let’s be honest: When you’re in a rough spot with your wife, you don’t need a blank card and a pen. You need words that work. Words that are masculine. Calm. Honest. Present. Words that remind her: This man is showing up differently. This man sees me. This man is fighting for us. That’s why I wrote every card inside The Marriage Arsenal. Because I’ve lived this. And I know what it’s like to be a man trying his hardest and still not getting through. Now you don’t have to guess anymore. You just have to choose to show up with the right words at the right moment. If you're serious about saving your marriage, start your day with something that actually helps. I send one short, powerful email every morning—real talk, no fluff. Just a daily challenge to help you lead better, love stronger, and become the man your family needs. If it hits—carry it with you. If not—delete it and show up tomorrow. Go to MenSaveYourMarriage.com and get on the list. That’s MenSaveYourMarriage.com—sign up today. Point 3: Words Become Weapons When You Use Them with Intention. I want you to think about your marriage like a battlefield. Not a war against your wife—but a war for her. You’re fighting off resentment. Fighting off disconnection. Fighting off the apathy and silence that’s been growing in the shadows. And every good warrior needs the right weapon. In this fight? Words are your weapon. Not to wound. But to win her heart again. And just like in combat or in the kitchen—timing, precision, and repetition matter. That’s what makes The Marriage Arsenal so different. It’s not one card for Valentine’s Day. It’s an annual arsenal of pre-built moments designed to hit throughout the year. When she’s distant—there’s a card for that. When you messed up—there’s a card for that. When she’s worn down from motherhood—there’s a card for that. When nothing’s wrong but everything feels flat—there’s a card for that too. These aren’t messages. They’re moments. Moments you choose to lead. Moments you forge with your words. Moments she’ll remember, even if she doesn’t show it right away. Because connection isn’t built in one grand gesture. It’s built in the thousand quiet, intentional messages that say: “I’m here.” “I’m not giving up.” “I see you.” OUTRO: Brother—this is the fight. Not against your wife. But against your old habits, your fear of getting it wrong, and your tendency to retreat into silence. You’ve done the dishes. You’ve been less reactive. You’re trying your hardest. But now it’s time to lead with your voice. Even if it’s quiet. Even if it’s on paper. Even if it’s handed to her in a card instead of said out loud. The Marriage Arsenal gives you the tools. All you have to do is choose to use them. FINAL THOUGHTS: The truth is, you can’t build a connection by accident. You can’t restore trust with vague good intentions. You need structure, strategy, and the right words at the right time. You need tools that fit in your hand and hit her heart. That’s what The Marriage Arsenal is. And this is just the beginning. In the next episode, we’ll unpack how the emotional gap between you and your wife got so wide—and how to bridge it without begging or blowing up. But for now? Go to . Get the cards. Lead the moment. Let your words do what your silence never could. You’re not alone. I’m in your corner. Let’s keep fighting—for her, for your family, for the man you’re becoming. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36623935

#42: This Is the Moment – Your Marriage Won’t Wait Forever 05/15/2025

#42: This Is the Moment – Your Marriage Won’t Wait Forever #42: This Is the Moment – Your Marriage Won’t Wait Forever Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode #42… and this one is different. If you’ve made it this far—through the full Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection series—then you’ve been walking through the fire, brick by brick, trying to rebuild something that once felt lost. This episode is not just a review. It’s a call to remember. A challenge to rise. And a decision point. Because your marriage won’t wait forever. You’ve done something most men never do: you faced the hard stuff head-on. You stopped blaming her. You started rebuilding you. Now the question is: will you keep going—or fade back into the man you used to be? Let’s review the journey… not as a checklist—but as a battle report. POINT #1: What You’ve Walked Through Over the last 10 episodes, you learned how to rebuild real intimacy. Not the fake, surface-level stuff… but the kind that makes a woman breathe again when she's near you. Here’s a reminder of what you’ve faced: Episode 32: You learned the truth—intimacy isn’t just sex, it’s connection. Emotional. Mental. Spiritual. Physical. Episode 33: You learned that safety—not control—is what unlocks your wife’s trust. Episode 34: You redefined physical intimacy—not as entitlement, but as a two-way expression of love and pursuit. Episode 35: You discovered the language of love—hers, not just yours. Episode 36: You reawakened playfulness, laughter, and the joy that’s been buried beneath years of stress. Episode 37: You stopped keeping score. You chose love without condition. Episode 38: You saw how small acts—done consistently—build big bridges. Episode 39: You stepped into spiritual connection—leading her heart, not just your household. Episode 40: You gave her room to heal, to breathe, to feel… while holding space for her wounds. Episode 41: You stayed steady when she didn’t open up yet. You kept showing up. Because that’s what real men do. This wasn’t a formula. It was a forge. And if you stepped into the heat, then brother—you’ve started becoming a man your wife could feel safe with again. POINT #2: Where You Stand Now You’re standing at the edge of a new chapter. But don’t confuse momentum with completion. This is the danger zone. This is where most men either step into the new version of themselves permanently—or slowly slide back into the old patterns, expecting her to “get over it,” “open up,” or “meet you halfway.” Let me be crystal clear: If she’s opening up, don’t let your foot off the gas. If she’s still distant, double down on showing up steady, solid, and safe. This is the long game. And only men who play the long game win this fight. You can’t rebuild 10 years of damage with 10 weeks of effort. But you can lay a new foundation… One she can finally trust again. POINT #3: What You Must Do Next You’ve got two paths in front of you now. Path one: You treat this podcast series like a good idea. A season. A dabble in change. You pat yourself on the back, then drift back into autopilot… hoping it’ll all just "work out." And your marriage will die a slow, silent death. Or— Path two: You decide right now: I’m not turning back. You commit to becoming the kind of man who: Leads himself before he ever tries to lead her. Chooses truth over comfort. Fights for connection instead of control. Puts in the work, even when she doesn’t respond yet. Because that’s what kings do. WRAP-UP: This Series Was Never About Her This whole series has been about you. Becoming the man who makes safety feel possible again. Becoming the man who creates space for her heart. Becoming the man who leads with strength and humility. If you’ve done this work—and you’re ready for the next level—then here’s your move: Get off the sidelines. Do the work, not just the listening. Because the next phase isn’t about surviving anymore. It’s about leading your home like a man who finally woke up. And pursuing her heart. Don’t wait for her to come around. Take action. If you’ve been a ghost in your own marriage, it’s time to come back to life. This series gave you the map. In the next episode I'm going to introduce you to the tools, the weapons you need and the arsenal required to save your marriage. Are you ready to level up? Get ready for episode #43. I will talk to you soon take care and keep fighting. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36577840

#41: When Intimacy Feels One-Sided – Staying the Course Without Bitterness 05/15/2025

#41: When Intimacy Feels One-Sided – Staying the Course Without Bitterness #41: When Intimacy Feels One-Sided – Staying the Course Without Bitterness Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage. Episode 40. You’ve shown up. You’ve led with humility. You’ve owned your mistakes. You’ve worked on yourself. You’ve stayed calm when she’s been cold. And yet… You still feel alone in the effort. She’s not leaning in. She’s not responding. The sex is still gone. The warmth is still missing. The silence feels like a slap in the face. And here’s the hardest part: You don’t know how much longer you can keep pouring out without anything coming back. Today, we’re going to talk about the emotional exhaustion of one-sided effort. We’ll break down how to stay strong without growing bitter, why this phase is more important than you think, and how to keep leading your marriage without poisoning your own soul in the process. This one’s deep. Let’s go there. Point 1: Bitterness Is the Real Enemy—Not Her Lack of Response When you're in the trenches, doing everything right, and she's still distant… Bitterness starts whispering: “Why am I the only one trying?” “This is bullsht. I don’t deserve this.”* “I’m done.” And you’re not wrong to feel that frustration. But here’s the danger: If you let that bitterness take root, it will undo everything you’ve built. Bitterness kills connection. It turns good men into cold men. It makes you resentful, sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and hardened. You start giving with an attitude. You start doing the right things with a poisoned tone. You start thinking, “I’ll be nice today—let’s see if she appreciates it.” And just like that, you’re no longer leading. You’re playing games. Your strength is not in how long you can give—it’s in how long you can give without keeping score. Point 2: Your Leadership Is Forged in the Fire of Rejection You want to be a leader in your home? This is the crucible. Anybody can be sweet for a week. Anyone can step up for a short season. But the man who becomes unshakable is the one who stays the course when it feels unfair. Right now, she’s watching you. Not just to see what you do—but to see why you do it. Are you: Serving her to win her back? Leading her to “earn” affection? Showing up hoping she’ll finally reward you with intimacy? Or are you becoming the man who leads because that’s who you’ve chosen to become? She doesn’t want a nice guy. She wants a man she can respect again. That respect is born in your ability to keep your center—when it’s not reciprocated. Point 3: Stay the Course—But Not as a Doormat Let’s be clear: I’m not asking you to roll over. This isn’t about being passive, spineless, or settling for emotional scraps. This is about leading with strength and stability, not neediness. You’re not begging. You’re not pressuring. You’re not playing victim. You’re saying, through your actions: “I will be consistent. I will show up. I will keep creating safety. I will keep building trust. But I will not allow bitterness to own me.” And if the day comes where she still refuses to engage—you’ll know you did your part with honor, strength, and clarity. You didn’t try. You transformed. And that’s something no one can take from you. WRAP-UP Brother, this part right here? This is where most men lose the battle—not because they didn’t fight, but because they got bitter in the silence. Don’t go down that path. Stay steady. Stay grounded. Stay noble. She may not be matching your effort yet. But she feels it. She sees it. And whether she says it or not, she’s watching to see if it’s real—or if it’s just a phase. And when she finally realizes that the man you’re becoming isn’t leaving… That’s when her guard begins to drop. That’s when trust is reborn. That’s when intimacy starts to return. CALL TO ACTION If you’re in the lonely part of the fight, I want you to say this out loud: “I will not quit. I will not become bitter. I will not shrink back.” This is what leadership looks like. If this hit home—and I know it did—then share it. Send it to the guy who’s doing everything right and getting nothing in return. Leave a review. Subscribe. This podcast isn’t for men who want easy fixes. It’s for men who want to rise—no matter how hard the climb. FINAL THOUGHT You don’t prove your strength by how well you lead when it’s easy. You prove it when you lead in silence, without applause, and without reward—just because it’s the right thing to do. And when she finally believes that? The walls will come down. The fire will return. And the marriage will have a fighting chance. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36577790

#40: Perseverance – Why She’s Testing Your Consistency 05/15/2025

#40: Perseverance – Why She’s Testing Your Consistency #40: Perseverance – Why She’s Testing Your Consistency We are continuing in the Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection series and today we are talking about Perseverance and why the wife you love in the marriage you are working so hard to save is testing your consistency. Now…. "You just heard the bell. That means it’s time to fight. We are in the ring, you and I. Not to fight each other. We are in the ring to fight for your marriage and for your wife. Notice I didn’t say fight with her but for her. We are fighting to save your marriage… your family… your legacy. I'm here in your corner. You’re not alone. Now let’s get to work." Let’s get real honest to begin: You’ve started changing. You’re showing up differently. You’re working on yourself. You’re leading with calm instead of chaos. But she still seems cold. She’s not meeting your effort. She’s not responding the way you hoped. And now you’re wondering, “What’s the point?” You feel stuck in a one-sided battle for your marriage—and maybe you’re tempted to give up. Let me stop you right there. This moment right now? Where it feels thankless, lonely, and unfair? This is the test. This is where boys quit and men rise. Because she’s not just watching your effort. She’s watching your consistency. She’s watching to see if you’re serious—or just sprinting through another short-lived change. Today, I’m going to show you exactly why her heart isn’t softening yet, how to pass the test she’s giving you without even realizing it, and how perseverance is your greatest weapon when nothing else seems to work. Let’s get into it. Point 1: She’s Not Ignoring You—She’s Testing You Here’s the brutal truth most men don’t want to hear: Every man who’s ever said, “I’ll change,” also made promises he didn’t keep. She’s heard it all before. She’s seen the “nice guy” act. She’s watched the short bursts of effort—the flowers, the dates, the apologetic texts—followed by the return to old habits. So now, she’s not responding to your new behavior. Why? Because she doesn’t believe it yet. Not because she’s stubborn. Not because she’s mean. But because she’s protecting herself from the crash if you quit again. She’s watching for patterns—not promises. She’s measuring consistency—not intensity. So if you’re serious about winning her trust back, you better be in it for the long haul. A: Most Men Quit Right Before the Breakthrough This is where good men lose the battle: They make real changes. They expect a quick response. They don’t get it. They get frustrated. They slip back into old patterns. And that right there? That’s when she says, “See? Nothing really changed.” You think the silence means it’s not working. But here’s what you don’t see: Every time you stay calm, she’s taking mental notes. Every time you don’t blow up when she’s cold, she’s watching. Every time you validate her—even when she doesn’t validate you—her defenses weaken a little more. This is a war of attrition. Not a sprint. Not a Hallmark moment. You are proving, day by day, that you are no longer the man she had to protect herself from. If you quit now, you prove her right. But if you stay the course, you prove yourself to be real. B: Lead Because It’s Who You Are—Not to Get Applause This is where you graduate from “trying hard” to becoming a man. You stop doing things to get a reaction. You stop asking, “Is this working?” You stop keeping score. And you start becoming the kind of man who: Shows up with integrity, regardless of outcome. Leads with maturity, even when unrecognized. Loves without needing immediate return. You don’t lead for applause. You lead because that’s who you are now. This isn’t about her anymore—it’s about you becoming the man you were always meant to be. And when she finally realizes this isn’t a phase… That’s when her heart starts to come back. But you don’t wait for that. You lead anyway. Point 2: Her Guard Is a Survival Mechanism—Not a Personal Attack I know how easy it is to take her distance as rejection. You’re giving everything you’ve got, and she’s giving you… what feels like nothing. But listen to me clearly: Her coldness isn’t cruelty. It’s self-defense. Her silence isn’t spite. It’s a shield. She’s not attacking you. She’s trying to survive the wreckage of what the marriage became before you woke up. If there were years where she didn’t feel emotionally safe—where she felt alone, dismissed, criticized, or neglected—she built armor. That armor doesn’t come off overnight just because you had an epiphany. She wants to believe the change is real. She wants to lean in again. She wants to hope. But hope hurts when it’s been crushed before. So what do you do? You do what you say you’ll do. You speak gently when she’s upset. You give her space without punishment. You stay consistent even when she’s cold. She’s not asking you to be perfect. She’s asking, “Can I trust you to not hurt me again?” That’s the question your actions are answering every single day. A: Pressure: It Breaks the Process but She’ll Believe It When You Don’t Break You might not even realize you’re doing it—but sometimes your need for reassurance is what breaks the progress. You ask: “Did you notice I’ve been trying?” “Why don’t you trust me yet?” “I’m doing everything right—why don’t you appreciate it?” Let her rebuild trust on her timeline—not yours. Take the pressure off. Focus on who you’re becoming—not what you’re getting. That’s what creates emotional space for her healing. Here’s something wild you might not expect: Sometimes the moment she starts to believe in you… is the moment she pushes back hardest. She sees you showing up. She sees the consistency. And part of her begins to hope. And that hope terrifies her. So she’ll say something cruel. She’ll shut down. She’ll test the boundary again. Why? Because if you break under pressure, she’ll know it was all a phase. But if you stay calm… if you stay kind… if you stay rooted… She’ll feel it deep in her bones: “He’s not reacting. He’s not folding. He’s not going anywhere.” That’s the moment she starts to feel safe again. It’s counterintuitive—but it’s real. So don’t flinch when the resistance spikes. It’s often the final gate before the breakthrough. B: Your Leadership Is Showing—Even in the Silence You might think nothing’s happening because she hasn’t said anything. But I promise you, brother—she notices everything. When you stop interrupting and start listening? She sees it. When you ask how her day was—and don’t turn it into a complaint about yours? She registers it. When you hold your ground without anger, without begging, without manipulation? Her nervous system starts to calm down. That’s leadership. You are leading her emotional reality even if she doesn’t acknowledge it yet. So show her that she’s safe—through tone, through patience, through quiet strength. Let her feel, in her soul, that you’re not a storm to brace for anymore. You’re shelter now. If you listened to the previous episode “You are the Lighthouse.” Point 3: Get Around Men Who Get It You cannot walk this path alone. Trying to save your marriage in isolation is like trying to climb Everest without oxygen or a guide. You need men in your corner who aren’t going to tell you to bail. You need brothers who’ve been in the trenches and stayed. So let me challenge you—where are you getting your input? If it’s social media, venting friends, or co-workers who mock commitment, you're sabotaging yourself. You need a different circle. One that holds the standard. One that speaks truth. One that calls you higher when you want to fold. Surround yourself with men who make perseverance normal. Let iron sharpen iron. Because when you see other men staying strong—even when it’s hard—it reinforces your own resolve. A: Start Living With Legacy in Mind Let’s take this even deeper: What kind of story are you writing right now? Because the man who quits becomes a warning. The man who stays becomes an example. Your kids will either say, “My dad gave up when things got hard,” or “My dad didn’t flinch. He stayed. He grew. He fought for mom and for us.” That legacy is being written with every choice you make. Every day you choose patience over pressure… presence over pride… perseverance over panic… You are building something eternal. You are showing the next generation what real strength looks like. So live today with your grandchildren’s admiration in mind. Let that anchor you when the emotions swirl. EXTENDED WRAP-UP I know this season is painful. It’s not flashy. It’s not celebrated. It’s not easy. But it’s holy work. You are being forged in the fire of slow, consistent love. Not for rewards. Not for praise. But because you’ve decided to become the kind of man who leads… protects… and finishes what he starts. Let me remind you: She’s not testing to be cruel. She’s testing because she hopes you’re real. Her silence isn’t rejection. It’s protection. Your consistency is changing the atmosphere, even if the scoreboard hasn’t moved yet. So stay faithful. Stay grounded. Stay dangerous—in the best way. CALL TO ACTION I just told you to get around men who get it. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life right now, then this is your next step: Go to mensaveyourmarriage.com I’m building Resto-Marriage—an online brotherhood for men who are walking the same path you’re on. Men who are fighting for their families. Men who are rebuilding what they broke. Men who are refusing to let their marriage die without a fight. Some of these men you’ll learn from. Others will learn from you. Either way—you won’t be walking alone. Go now. Get on the waitlist. You’ll be the first to know when the doors open. And when they do… you won’t want to be on the outside looking in. Final Thoughts Look in the mirror and ask yourself: “Do I lead based on results—or based on who I’ve decided to become?” If you’re ready to be that man, then stay steady. Don’t flinch. Don’t chase. Don’t quit. And if this episode landed for you, share it with a man who’s on the verge of giving up. He needs this fire. He needs this truth. Then leave a review and subscribe. Because this movement isn’t for dabblers. It’s for men who finish what they start. Finally, She’s not looking for a perfect man. She’s looking for one who doesn’t disappear when the applause doesn’t come. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36577690

#39: When She’s Emotionally Guarded – Don’t Push, Lead 05/12/2025

#39: When She’s Emotionally Guarded – Don’t Push, Lead #39: When She’s Emotionally Guarded – Don’t Push, Lead Hello gentlemen, you heard the bell, so step into the ring. It is you and me. Not to fight each other but to fight for your marriage. Let's get at it. Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage, Episode 38 in our 10-part series on Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection. Let me ask you something raw: Do you feel like you’re married to a woman you can’t reach anymore? She’s quiet. Distant. Guarded. You try to talk, and she shuts down. You ask her what’s wrong, and she says, “I’m fine.” But you know damn well she’s not. Now here’s the trap most men fall into: they push. They chase. They pressure. They demand answers. They ask why she’s not opening up—and when that doesn’t work, they get frustrated, angry, or worse, they shut down too. And now you’ve got two people in the same house… completely emotionally disconnected. Today, I’m going to give you a better strategy. One that works. We’re going to talk about what emotional guardedness really means, what not to do, and how to lead your wife back into connection—even if she’s got her walls sky-high right now. Let’s go. Point 1: Her Emotional Guard Is a Survival Mechanism, Not a Weapon Here’s the first truth you need to hear: She didn’t build that wall because she wanted to. She built it because she felt she had to. Somewhere along the way, she learned that opening up to you wasn’t safe anymore. Not physically—but emotionally. Maybe you dismissed her. Maybe you criticized her. Maybe you got defensive, or exploded in anger. Maybe you just checked out for years while she carried the emotional weight alone. And now? She’s armored up. She’s in protection mode. It’s not hatred. It’s self-preservation. So stop making her guardedness about you and start owning your impact. This is a huge mistake I made. While I was chasing a career, income, and security for my family she was carrying the weight of the family. I didn't understand this for years until well after my marriage was DOA. Your job now isn’t to tear down her wall—it’s to prove you’re no longer a threat on the other side of it. That is how I want to encourage you today. You need to remove one major threat from her life by becoming the person she can be open with without fear of being dismissed, criticized, or you getting defensive or exploding in anger. She has to be able to approach you with anything and I do mean anything and know that you are going to remain calm, open, understanding and willing to listen. I'm a veteran, an old sailor who did some time in the US Navy and I promise you what your wife needs is for you to be a lighthouse. Regardless of what comes, what is said, what happens she can look to you and know you will be right there, same as always, steady, alcertain and true. You see when your wall of protection is up around you and her, she can start to bring her wall down. Point 2: Stop Pushing, Pressuring, or Pouting—It Doesn’t Work Most men panic when their wife shuts down. They push. They plead. They say things like: “Just talk to me.” “Why can’t you open up?” “This is exactly what I’m talking about—you never talk.” “I’m trying here—why don’t you see it?” And when that doesn’t work? They sulk. Get cold. Withhold love. Some even punish her with silence or passive aggression. Let me be blunt: Pressure creates more distance. Pouting makes you look weak. And punishment proves you’re not safe. You are not entitled to her emotional vulnerability. You earn that privilege with consistency, patience, and presence over time. This is where men who aren’t serious give up. But you? If you’re still here, listening to this? You’re better than that. By now, I've pissed many of you off but you need to hear the truth. You deserve that even if you don't like it. Again, you need to be the lighthouse, that is how you earn her emotional vulnerability. And when you do that and you earn that, everything changes. Point 3: Lead With Steady Presence and Emotional Maturity You don’t wait for her to come back. You don’t complain about her emotional wall. You lead through it. How? Stay emotionally grounded. No reacting, no lashing out, no shutting down. Be consistent. Day after day. Even when she’s cold, distant, or hard to read. Speak gently but directly. Say things like: “I know I’ve let you down in the past. I’m not here to force you to open up—I’m here to prove I can be trusted again.” Ask questions without demanding answers. Like: “Is there anything I’ve done lately that made you feel more distant from me?” And above all—don’t quit. Your job is to show her that you’re becoming the kind of man she can open up to again. Not just for a week. Not just when you want something. But every day. Steady. Strong. Consistent. You don’t bulldoze your way into her heart. You build a road back—and you walk it every damn day. And make no mistake, she will not trust you, she will not trust this change you are making. Then after some consistency she will rest it. She is going to push your worst buttons, so you need to get ready. You can blame, she has to know. Everyday, steady, strong, and consistent. When it gets the worst and you have no answers, text me. 812-648-3380. You can cuss and scream at me, if you don't have a best buddy in your life. But it cannot be her. She is going to question you. I used to lose my cool or explode at you. I was wrong for that. Now, I have an accountability team of other men that I can question or vent to so that I am counciled in a way that helps me grow and allows me to show more for you like I should have been all along. WRAP-UP Let me bottom-line this for you: If she’s emotionally guarded, she’s not testing you—she’s protecting herself. And whether you see it or not, you played a role in why that wall is there. That doesn’t make you a villain. But it does make you responsible. The good news? You also have the power to create a new story. Not by demanding. Not by complaining. Not by quitting. But by leading with emotional strength, consistency, and humility. When she finally believes, “He’s not just saying the right words—he’s becoming a different man…” That’s when things start to shift. CALL TO ACTION Right now—before the emotion fades—ask yourself this: “What version of me built this wall… and what version of me is going to help her feel safe again?” Then act like that man. If this hit deep—and I know it did—subscribe. Leave a review. And send this to one man who’s watching his wife slip through his fingers and doesn’t know how to lead her and their home. FINAL THOUGHT She didn’t stop opening up because she stopped caring. She stopped because she stopped feeling safe. And now it’s your move. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36393305

Special Edition Episode #3 - “Coaching Case Study: How One Man Saved His Marriage in 6 Weeks” 05/09/2025

Special Edition Episode #3 - “Coaching Case Study: How One Man Saved His Marriage in 6 Weeks” Special Edition Episode #3 - “Coaching Case Study: How One Man Saved His Marriage in 6 Weeks” CTA: Final invitation to apply for the Marriage Reset for Men Coaching Intensive INTRO Welcome to this special edition of Men, Save Your Marriage. We’ve been talking all week about the cost of waiting, the reasons men stay stuck, and the difference between reacting and leading with a plan. But today, I want to show you what it looks like when a man makes the decision to lead—before it’s too late. This isn’t hype. It’s not theory. It’s one of the men who said yes to coaching—and what changed in just 6 weeks. If you’re still sitting on the fence, hoping things will magically get better… Let this story be the proof that your story can turn too. PART 1 – Where He Started Let me introduce you to Mike (name changed for privacy). Mike had been married 11 years. He had two kids. And he was on the verge of losing everything. His wife had checked out. She wasn’t hostile—but she was cold. Distant. Done emotionally. She said things like: “I don’t know if I love you anymore.” “I just need space.” “I’m tired of trying.” Mike had tried everything. Being nicer. Helping more. Avoiding conflict. But nothing moved the needle. He felt invisible. And he was starting to wonder if it was too late. PART 2 – What We Did (Week by Week Overview) Week 1: Stop the Chaos First thing we did was pull him out of the emotional fog. I gave him a clarity map—his personal reset plan. We rebuilt his daily rhythm. Replaced begging with calm. Replaced emotional flooding with strategic silence. He started writing again—one sentence a day in a journal I gave him. That night, she made eye contact for the first time in weeks. Week 2: Establish the Frame Mike was reacting. We fixed that. We walked through his leadership posture: tone, tempo, presence. He started initiating conversations—but without pressure. He stopped defending himself. He started listening to understand. She didn’t trust it yet—but she noticed. Week 3: Rebuild Respect He sent his first Tactical Gratitude card from the Arsenal. No fluff. Just strength and truth. She teared up reading it. That night, she asked if they could go for a walk after the kids went to bed. That was the turning point. Weeks 4–5: Build Safety & Play He used one of the Date Night Missions. Nothing fancy. Just pancakes and her favorite candle. They laughed for the first time in months. Physical touch started returning—not sex, but closeness. And she said something that wrecked him: “I feel like I can breathe around you again.” Week 6: Anchor the New Normal Mike didn’t “win her back.” He became a new man. We wrote a personalized husband’s code together—a declaration of how he would lead, love, and protect from here on out. And she leaned in. PART 3 – What Changed (What’s in It for You) Here’s what Mike walked away with: A calmer home His kids seeing their dad lead with strength and peace A wife who started trusting again—because she felt the difference No divorce. No lawyers. No broken family And a deep sense of clarity: “I know who I am now. I’m not afraid anymore.” That’s the power of leading with a plan. That’s the power of coaching—not content. Not guesswork. Not hope… but strategy and execution. If you save your marriage, you save your money. You save your future. You give your kids the kind of example they’ll thank you for. And you walk out of this fire forged, not finished. CALL TO ACTION You’ve heard the story. Now it’s time to decide if you’ll write your own. I’m taking 5 to 10 men into the Marriage Reset for Men coaching intensive. It’s 6 weeks. One mission: Reset your leadership. Rebuild connection. And walk out the other side with clarity, strength, and a new direction. Go to mensaveyourmarriage.com/reset Fill out the quick application. It takes two minutes. If it’s a good fit, I’ll personally reach out to book a call. This round of coaching starts soon. And once these spots are full, they’re gone. Brother, don’t let your story end with silence, distance, and regret. Apply now. Let’s lead. Let’s rebuild. Let’s win. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36455040

#38: Playfulness and Laughter – How Fun Rekindles Connection 05/08/2025

#38: Playfulness and Laughter – How Fun Rekindles Connection #38: Playfulness and Laughter – How Fun Rekindles Connection INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 37, and today we’re digging into something most men completely forget when their marriage starts to unravel: Fun. That’s right—playfulness, laughter, and light-hearted moments. You might think, “My marriage is in crisis—I don’t have time for jokes.” But here’s the truth: When all the joy dies, the marriage follows. When everything becomes serious, strained, and heavy—she stops feeling safe. She stops leaning in. You didn’t fall in love through lectures and spreadsheets. You fell in love laughing at each other’s jokes, being ridiculous in the kitchen, making dumb inside jokes on road trips. And now? It’s like you’re business partners in a dying startup. Today, we’re taking a sledgehammer to that heaviness. I’ll show you how to reintroduce fun, why laughter matters more than you realize, and how to rebuild a playful, light-hearted connection even when things feel tense. Let’s go. Point 1: Playfulness Is a Bridge to Emotional Safety When your marriage is filled with tension, walking on eggshells, or cold distance, your wife isn’t thinking about sex or romance—she’s thinking about survival. And you can’t logic her out of that. You can’t argue your way back in. But do you know what cuts through emotional tension like a knife? Laughter. A shared laugh is like a tiny burst of intimacy. It says: “I remember who we are underneath the stress.” “You’re still the person I enjoy being around.” “There’s still something here worth smiling about.” Playfulness breaks down walls you didn’t even know were there. Stop being the overly serious “fix-it” husband and be the man who can carry the weight and still crack a smile. Point 2: Fun Isn’t a Luxury—It’s Survival Fuel for Your Marriage You think it’s extra. You think it’s optional. It’s not. If the only conversations you’re having are about bills, schedules, and what’s wrong in the relationship, then you’re creating an emotional desert. People don’t thrive in deserts—they just survive. Fun is the water. Start small: Tease her like you used to when you were dating. Dance with her in the kitchen when she’s not expecting it. Send her a dumb meme you know will make her laugh. Play a board game. Take her on a date with no deep agenda—just to enjoy each other again. You’re not waiting for fun to show up. You create it. Point 3: You Set the Tone in Your Home Your wife isn’t the thermostat—you are. She’s responding to your energy. If you’re constantly uptight, irritable, or dead-faced, she’s going to match that. But if you bring lightness, humor, and joy into the room, it shifts the atmosphere—even if just a little. This isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about reminding her, “We’re still capable of joy. And I’m still the man who can bring it.” When she sees that you can carry weight without becoming bitter, she starts to trust you again. Fun is leadership. Laughter is power under control. Don’t underestimate it. WRAP-UP Brother, listen: You don’t just fix your marriage through deep talks and emotional breakthroughs. You rebuild it moment by moment—with laughter, smiles, play, and a little bit of mischief. You want her to relax around you? Give her a reason to. Fun says: “You’re safe with me.” Joy says: “We’re still us.” Laughter says: “There’s still life in this marriage.” That’s how you bring her back. CALL TO ACTION Don’t wait. Right now—before you even finish this episode—go make her laugh. Text her an inside joke. Send her a dumb meme. Walk into the room and say something ridiculous just to see her smile. And if this hit home, subscribe. Leave a review. Share this with one guy who’s forgotten how to enjoy his wife. FINAL THOUGHT She doesn’t need you to fix everything today. But she does need a reason to smile when you walk in the room. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36301665

Special Edition Episode #2 - 5 Reasons You’re Still Stuck (And What I’d Tell You 1-on-1 coaching) 05/07/2025

Special Edition Episode #2 - 5 Reasons You’re Still Stuck (And What I’d Tell You 1-on-1 coaching) Special Edition Episode #2 - 5 Reasons You’re Still Stuck (And What I’d Tell You 1-on-1 coaching) CTA: Invite listeners to apply for the Marriage Reset for Men Coaching Intensive INTRO Welcome back to this special edition of Men, Save Your Marriage. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know the heartbeat of this podcast is simple: You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to beg. You don’t need to figure this out alone. But you do need to lead. And you need to move—strategically. Today, I’m going to give you the five biggest reasons men stay stuck… even when they’re trying their hardest to save their marriage. And I’ll tell you what I would say to you face-to-face if we were in a coaching session right now. If this hits close to home, it’s because I’ve seen it—dozens of times—and I’ve walked men through every one of these exact walls. Let’s go. PART 1 – Reason #1: You’re Leading Emotionally Instead of Strategically When you’re desperate to save your marriage, your heart’s in the right place… But if you lead from emotion, you make emotional mistakes. You: Over-explain Beg for reassurance React when she pulls away Dump everything you’re feeling, hoping she’ll feel safe But in her eyes? That’s pressure. What she needs is strength, clarity, and consistency. What I’d tell you: Let’s rebuild a calm, masculine leadership frame. One she can feel… without you having to say a word. PART 2 – Reason #2: You’re Guessing What She Needs Most men try a hundred different things to reconnect— Flowers. Acts of service. Long texts. Scheduling date nights. But none of it lands. Because they’re guessing—instead of diagnosing. What I’d tell you: We’re going to map your wife’s connection style, resistance patterns, and trust signals. You’ll stop throwing darts in the dark—and start acting with precision. PART 3 – Reason #3: You’re Still the Old Version of You (Just Trying Harder) Some of you have made changes. You’ve slowed your anger. You’ve taken ownership. But she still doesn’t respond. Why? Because she still sees the same man underneath. You’re doing more—but you’re being the same. What I’d tell you: Let’s upgrade your identity—not just your effort. A woman responds to who you are… not what you say you’ll do. PART 4 – Reason #4: You Don’t Have Accountability or a Plan You wouldn’t build a business, plan your retirement income, or hit a fitness goal without a plan. So why do we try to save the most important relationship in our lives with hope and hustle? What I’d tell you: You need a blueprint. You need feedback. You need a proven structure and someone in your corner who will not let you drift. That’s what this coaching intensive is. Not therapy. Not advice. A personal strategy, with tactical tools, and real-time support. PART 5 – Reason #5: You Don’t Know How to Turn Wins into Momentum Maybe she finally opened up… but then pulled away again. Maybe you had a great week… then she shut down. And now you’re back at square one. That’s not failure—that’s a pattern. What I’d tell you: Let’s study the pattern. Let’s capitalize on wins. I’ll show you how to turn a 10-second moment of openness into 10 days of trust-building. You don’t just need to spark progress—you need to sustain it. PART 6 – What Coaching Gives You (And What It Saves You) I’ve seen men come into this coaching intensive broken, confused, and exhausted. And in just a few weeks—they’re leading with clarity. Their homes are calmer. Their wives start making eye contact again. They’re proud of who they are… not just hoping she notices. What’s that worth? Let me break it down: You avoid tens of thousands in divorce costs You restore a relationship your kids depend on You build a future where you and your wife feel like teammates again You regain peace, strength, and forward momentum You look in the mirror and respect the man staring back That’s the cost of staying stuck… And that’s the reward of doing the work. CALL TO ACTION So here’s your next move: Go to mensaveyourmarriage.com/reset Fill out the quick application. It’s not long. But it tells me you’re serious. If it looks like a good fit, we’ll jump on a call. And I’ll walk you through exactly how we reset your marriage from the inside out. Spots are limited—just 5 to 10 men. Because this is deep work, and I’m in your corner the whole way. Don’t let pride or fear keep you stuck. Apply now. Let’s lead. Let’s rebuild. Let’s win. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36454895

Special Edition Episode - “Why Most Men Wait Too Long to Get Help” 05/06/2025

Special Edition Episode - “Why Most Men Wait Too Long to Get Help” Special Edition Episode “Why Most Men Wait Too Long to Get Help” CTA: Launch of the 6-Week Coaching Intensive: Marriage Reset for Men Welcome to this special edition of Men, Save Your Marriage. This episode isn’t theory. It’s not a lesson. It’s a call to action—for men who know they’re dangerously close to losing everything. You’re listening right now because deep down, you know. You’ve been trying to fix things on your own. Trying to change… trying to get her to notice… And you’re starting to wonder if any of it is working. Brother—this is your wake-up call. Because most men wait too long to get help. And by the time they do… the damage is deeper, the trust is colder, and the road back is steeper. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is still a way forward—and I want to give you the tools to take it. PART 1 – The Hidden Cost of Waiting Let’s talk real for a minute. When your marriage is on the rocks, it’s not just your relationship at stake. It’s your peace. Your future. Your finances. Your kids. Your legacy. Every day you stay stuck in confusion, silence, or conflict—you bleed out more than just time. You pay with stress that poisons your work. You pay with nights spent walking on eggshells. You pay with kids who grow up thinking love means distance. And if divorce hits? You’re talking tens of thousands of dollars in court costs, custody battles, splitting assets, and rebuilding from scratch. But if you turn this around now? You save all of that money. You give your kids stability and strength. You reclaim joy, peace, and purpose in your own home. You wake up knowing you’re the man you said you’d be. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. Being a leader again—not a reactor. Being the kind of husband she feels safe with… and maybe even falls in love with again. PART 2 – What the Coaching Intensive Actually Is So here’s what I’ve created for the men who are ready to fight for it: Marriage Reset for Men A 6-week intensive coaching experience designed to give you the plan, the tools, and the accountability to reset your marriage and reclaim your leadership. Here’s what you get: A personalized roadmap based on your marriage situation Weekly 1:1 or small-group coaching sessions with me The Field Manual: frameworks for communication, rebuilding respect, and reintroducing connection A library of tools, card prompts, and date night missions to use in real time Daily accountability and ongoing tactical guidance I built this for men who are tired of guessing. Men who are willing to lead even when she’s distant. Men who want to be proud of how they showed up—even if it’s hard. This isn’t therapy. It’s tactical, masculine, mission-focused coaching. And it works. PART 3 – Why It Matters (What’s in It for You) Here’s what most men don’t think about: If you do nothing—if you just keep “trying your best”—you’ll stay in this fog for another 6 months… 12 months… or until she walks. But if you take decisive action now? You walk away from this 6-week intensive with: Clarity: You stop spinning and start leading. Connection: She notices the difference. And she starts softening again. Confidence: You stop reacting and start responding with calm strength. Financial and emotional peace: You avoid divorce. You protect your assets. You protect your kids. A future: The version of you that comes out of this is the man your wife hoped you’d become. That’s what’s in it for you. You’re not just saving a marriage. You’re rebuilding your life on solid ground. PART 4 – The Call to Action If you’re hearing this and you’re ready to stop waiting, here’s what to do: Go to mensaveyourmarriage.com/reset There’s a short application form. You fill it out, and I’ll review it personally. If it’s a good fit, we’ll book a call. If not—I’ll still give you something useful for free. But understand this: I’m only opening this to 5–10 men max. Because I’m going deep. This is not a mass-market course. This is elite-level guidance for men who want to win. You already know what inaction costs. This is your move. CLOSING Brother—don’t look back a year from now and wish you’d done something sooner. Your wife matters. Your kids matter. You matter. If you want to fight for your marriage with everything you’ve got— And you want a coach who will fight with you— Then go to mensaveyourmarriage.com/reset and apply now. Let’s lead. Let’s rebuild. Let’s win. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36437625

#37: Love Languages – Speaking Her Language, Not Yours 05/05/2025

#37: Love Languages – Speaking Her Language, Not Yours #37: Love Languages – Speaking Her Language, Not Yours INTRO Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 36 in our Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection series. Let me lay it out straight: You might be loving your wife with all your heart—and still leaving her feeling unloved. Why? Because you’re speaking your language, not hers. Most men operate like this: “I work hard, I provide, I fix things—why doesn’t she feel loved?” Because effort doesn’t equal connection if it’s not received the way she needs it. In this episode, we’re unpacking the 5 love languages—not just in theory, but in practical, boots-on-the-ground action. You’ll learn how to discover her language, how to use it intentionally, and how to lead with love—even if you feel like you’re not getting anything back right now. Let’s get to it. Point 1: Most Men Default to Their Own Love Language Every man has a default setting. Maybe for you it’s physical touch. Or acts of service. Or words of affirmation. So naturally, you show love that way. But here’s the truth: Just because you’re giving love doesn’t mean she’s receiving it. You might be mowing the yard, fixing the faucet, or working 60 hours a week to show love. But if her language is quality time or words of affirmation, your efforts feel like background noise. It’s like giving her steak when she’s starving for water. She’s not rejecting you—she’s just not getting filled. You have to stop speaking your native love language and start speaking hers. That’s leadership. That’s sacrifice. That’s what a man does when he wants to win her heart again. Point 2: Study Her Like Your Mission Depends on It (Because It Does) You wouldn’t approach your job without training. You wouldn’t rebuild an engine without specs. So why would you try to rebuild a marriage without learning the most basic intel: what makes her feel loved? Ask her. Watch her. Take notes. What makes her light up? When does she seem most at ease? What complaints does she repeat? (There’s gold in her frustration.) Is it: Words of affirmation: Does she need to hear that she matters to you? Acts of service: Does she light up when you take something off her plate? Quality time: Does she want undivided attention without your phone in your hand? Physical touch: Does she relax when you hold her without pressure? Receiving gifts: Does she appreciate thoughtfulness in little surprises? Her love language is your playbook. Use it. This isn’t about guessing—it’s about learning and leading. Point 3: Lead in Love Even When It’s One-Sided Here’s the tough part: She may not be speaking your love language right now. You might feel like you’re pouring into her, and she’s giving you nothing back. That’s the test. Do you love her based on what she gives you… or based on who you’ve chosen to become? You don’t love to get. You love because it’s who you are now. Lead in love because you’re the man who does what’s needed—not the man who waits for a reward. And when she starts to feel seen, understood, and loved again—she’ll begin to soften. WRAP-UP Loving her your way might feel good to you—but it won’t move the needle unless it lands with her. You’ve got to learn her language. You’ve got to speak it fluently. You’ve got to do it consistently—especially when it’s inconvenient. That’s how connection is rebuilt. That’s how trust is regained. That’s how intimacy is restored. CALL TO ACTION Brother, don’t just nod your head and move on. Text her right now and say: “What makes you feel most loved by me?” Then shut up and listen. And if this episode hit hard, subscribe. Leave a review. And share it with one man who’s trying hard—but needs to start trying smart. FINAL THOUGHT If she’s not feeling loved, it’s not about how hard you’re trying. It’s about whether it’s landing. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36301560

#36: The Power of Non-Sexual Touch Building Connection Without Pressure 04/30/2025

#36: The Power of Non-Sexual Touch Building Connection Without Pressure Episode #36: The Power of Non-Sexual Touch - Building Connection Without Pressure INTRO: Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 36—and we’re dialing in on something subtle, but powerful: Non-sexual touch. See, a lot of men think, “If I touch her more, maybe she’ll want me more.” But if every kiss turns into a grab, every hug feels like a cue for sex… She starts pulling away—not because she doesn’t want connection, but because she doesn’t feel safe inside it. Let’s break this down. Why non-sexual touch is essential. How to use it to rebuild emotional trust. And why mastering this will actually lead to a deeper, more passionate connection over time. 🔹 POINT 1: Every Touch Doesn’t Have to Lead Somewhere Ask yourself a hard question: “Have I trained her to expect pressure every time I reach for her?” If she flinches, freezes, or pulls away when you put your arm around her… it’s not random. It’s pattern recognition. She’s learned that your touch is a prelude to something she might not be ready for. Here’s the key: Touch without trajectory. Hold her hand—just to hold it. Sit close to her—without an agenda. Let your touch say “I see you” instead of “I want something.” If she doesn’t trust your touch, she won’t trust your presence. Safe touch builds connection. Pressuring touch builds resentment. This isn’t about denying desire—it’s about rebuilding trust. 🔹 POINT 2: Her Guard Lowers When She Feels Safe to Receive Think about it: How often does she get to just receive affection without it becoming a transaction? Touch is a language. And when it’s always saying “give me more,” she stops listening. But if your hands speak patience, care, and safety? Her body starts to believe again. Examples? Rub her shoulders for no reason. Kiss her forehead and walk away. Brush her hair out of her face and say nothing. Hold her hand at the grocery store. Sit on the couch and just put your arm around her without pulling her in. Touch her like she’s valuable—not useful. That kind of affection disarms fear and rebuilds openness. Let it just be about closeness. No finish line. No angle. No manipulation. 🔹 POINT 3: You Create the Atmosphere She’s not broken. She’s not cold. She’s not “just not into you.” She’s responding to the environment you create. Your tone. Your attitude. Your touch. Ask yourself: “Would I feel safe opening up if someone only touched me when they wanted something?” If she feels like every physical interaction has a price tag, she’ll emotionally withdraw. But if your touch feels like a gift—given freely, given often, and given gently—her guard will come down. Let your body language say: “I’m here.” “I see you.” “You matter.” That’s what non-sexual touch communicates at its highest level. You’re not just touching her body—you’re ministering to her heart. And when she trusts your touch again, deeper connection follows. WRAP-UP: You want her to crave closeness again? Then stop making every touch a negotiation for sex. Be the man who shows up with presence, patience, and peace. She’s watching how you handle her heart—before she gives you her body. CALL TO ACTION: If something in this episode hit home for you, here’s what to do next: Hit subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. Leave a review—it helps the mission grow. And share this episode with one man who’s making the same mistakes you used to make. Don’t keep it to yourself. We’re in this together. FINAL THOUGHT: A man who can touch without taking is a man she’ll learn to trust again. And when trust comes back? So does everything else. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36301455

#35: Creating Emotional Safety in the Bedroom - Her Desire Starts with Trust 04/28/2025

#35: Creating Emotional Safety in the Bedroom - Her Desire Starts with Trust Episode #35: Creating Emotional Safety in the Bedroom - Her Desire Starts with Trust INTRO: Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 35, and today we’re getting real about something most guys misunderstand: You think it’s about technique. She’s asking: “Can I trust you with my heart?” If your wife doesn’t feel emotionally safe, her body won’t respond the way you hope. And no, it’s not about lighting candles or buying the right kind of underwear. It’s about leadership. It’s about presence. And it starts long before the bedroom. 🔹 POINT 1: Emotional Safety Unlocks Physical Response Here’s the truth most men miss: If she feels judged, rushed, or invisible—she will close up. If she thinks you’re comparing her to a version of herself from 10 years ago… If she feels like your touch is a transaction to “get something”… If she senses that you’re more focused on her body than her being… She doesn’t feel seen. And when she doesn’t feel seen, she doesn’t feel safe. What does emotional safety sound like to her? “I love you just as you are.” “There’s no rush. I just want to be close.” “I’m here for you, even if nothing physical happens tonight.” When you show that you care more about connection than climax… When your body language says “you matter,” not just “you’re mine”… Her nervous system relaxes. And that is when intimacy becomes possible. 🔹 POINT 2: Don’t Treat Her Like a Problem to Solve This is where most men blow it. She pulls away—emotionally, physically—and you react. You get silent. Or sarcastic. Or start sulking. You shut down… or worse, you press harder. Her brain is scanning for threat. And every pout, guilt trip, or passive-aggressive comment registers as danger. Let’s flip that. When she pulls away, ask: “What would help you feel more connected to me right now?” That question shows emotional maturity. It shows leadership. It says: “I care more about your heart than my ego.” That’s the moment she starts to trust you again. Not because you fixed anything, but because you didn’t freak out. Remember: she’s not a riddle to solve—she’s a woman to lead with gentleness and strength. 🔹 POINT 3: Make the Bedroom About Giving, Not Getting You want her to open up? Lead with presence. Don’t rush. Don’t grope. Don’t make your needs louder than her comfort. Touch her like you know she’s sacred. Look at her like she’s a gift, not a goal. Speak to her like she’s the only woman in the world—because she is. When she feels treasured, not pressured… When she feels adored, not evaluated… That’s when you become the man she wants, not the boy who begs. The most attractive thing you can bring to the bedroom isn’t dominance—it’s devotion. When she’s at her most vulnerable, she wants to know: “Can I trust you to stay gentle, even when you’re full of desire?” Make the bedroom a sanctuary, not a scoreboard. WRAP-UP: Look, I know this can be hard. You’re human. You’ve got needs too. But if your goal is real connection—and not just momentary release—then emotional safety has to come first. You want her to want you? Then become the man she doesn’t have to brace herself against. When she feels secure, her body will follow. CALL TO ACTION: Subscribe to the show. Leave a review. And most importantly—send this episode to a brother who’s still blaming his wife instead of leading his home. FINAL THOUGHT: Emotional safety is foreplay. If she can’t relax around you, nothing else matters. And brother—if she doesn’t feel safe, she can’t feel sexy. Be the man who makes her feel both. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36301440

#34: Physical Intimacy Without Emotional Closeness – Why She Feels Used 04/23/2025

#34: Physical Intimacy Without Emotional Closeness – Why She Feels Used #34: Physical Intimacy Without Emotional Closeness – Why She Feels Used Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 34 in our series on Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection. Let’s hit it head-on: If you're still trying to get sex without building connection, she doesn’t feel desired—she feels used. This is why the bedroom is cold. Not because she's “not in the mood”—but because she doesn't feel emotionally seen, heard, or wanted outside the bedroom. Let’s break down why emotional closeness is a prerequisite to physical intimacy for her, how men often sabotage this without knowing, and what it really takes to reconnect body and soul. Point 1: Sex Without Emotional Closeness Feels Like Transaction, Not Intimacy She can tell when you’re pursuing her out of genuine desire... And when you’re just trying to get your fix. If you only touch her when you want something— If the only time you show kindness is to get sex— If there’s zero connection, but you expect heat in the bedroom— Then she doesn’t feel loved. She feels used. Want her to crave physical connection? Start connecting emotionally—outside the bedroom. Point 2: You Can’t Shortcut Emotional Closeness You might think, “I brought flowers. I said I love you. Why isn't she responding?” Because you can't manipulate her into bed. She’s asking: “Do you see me?” “Do you care about me when we’re not having sex?” “Are you safe emotionally—or just physically present?” Real intimacy comes when she feels emotionally safe. Not when she feels obligated. Point 3: Build Connection That Leads to Desire You want passion back? Earn her trust back. Here’s how: Talk to her without an agenda. Ask how she’s doing. Really listen. Touch her with no expectation. A gentle hand on her back. A kiss on her head. Zero strings. Make her feel chosen. Compliment her. See her. Appreciate her. Give without keeping score. Emotional connection is the runway. Physical intimacy is the takeoff. Before we wrap up…. Your marriage is slipping—and you know it. It’s not what it used to be. Hell, maybe it’s barely alive. The silence is louder than the yelling ever was. She’s checked out emotionally… and maybe you have too. I’ve lived this. I let it get worse before I did anything. Don’t make the same mistake. If you're tired of watching your marriage bleed out while you sit on your hands— then it’s time to step the hell up. I built the 7-Day Marriage Reset Challenge for men who are finally ready to lead. Start today: WRAP-UP Brother, when she says she feels disconnected, she’s not rejecting you—she’s begging for you. She wants a man who sees her heart, not just her body. Be that man, and the bedroom will take care of itself. CALL TO ACTION If this episode called you out—good. Now share it. Subscribe, review, and send it to one other man who needs to hear it. FINAL THOUGHT You can't have a connected bedroom with a disconnected heart. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36233745

#33: Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection – The Secret to Her Opening Up Again 04/21/2025

#33: Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection – The Secret to Her Opening Up Again #33: Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection – The Secret to Her Opening Up Again Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This is Episode 32—part two of our 10-part series on Rebuilding Intimacy and Emotional Connection. Let me hit you with something hard: When your wife talks to you, is she relaxed… or is she calculating every word, bracing for your reaction? Most men have no clue how much damage they do with just a look, a sigh, a careless comment, or that cold silence. You’re either building emotional safety in your home—or you’re tearing it down, brick by brick. Here’s the truth most men don’t get until it’s almost too late: If your wife doesn’t feel emotionally safe with you, she won’t fully open her heart—or her body—again. Safety is the bedrock of trust. And trust is the soil where real intimacy grows. Let’s unpack what emotional safety actually looks like, how you’re probably screwing it up without even realizing it, and what it takes to rebuild it—moment by moment. Let’s get to work. Point 1: Emotional Safety Means She Doesn’t Have to Brace Herself She might not be flinching, but that doesn’t mean she’s not guarding herself. Not from violence—from disconnection. She’s wondering: “Can I say this without him shutting down?” “Will he get defensive or make this about him again?” “Is it even worth bringing this up?” If she’s asking those questions, she’s not safe. And if she’s not safe, your marriage is bleeding out slowly. She starts to shut down. She stops talking. She keeps the peace by walking on eggshells. And you start wondering why the sex is gone, why she’s distant, or why she "just doesn’t seem happy." Brother, hear me: If your wife has to armor up to talk to you, your marriage is already in a war zone. But just like the disconnection happened moment by moment—you can rebuild safety moment by moment. Point 2: How You’re (Unknowingly) Sabotaging Emotional Safety You’re not trying to be the bad guy. But intentions don’t matter here—impact does. Here are three common ways men wreck emotional safety without even knowing it: 1. Minimizing Her Feelings Saying things like: “You’re overreacting.” “Why are you being so dramatic?” “This isn’t a big deal.” Translation in her head? “Your feelings don’t matter. You’re the problem.” When you downplay her pain, you don’t come off as strong—you come off as unsafe. She doesn’t feel comforted. She feels dismissed. Alone. 2. Fixing Instead of Listening Your wife doesn’t want you to fix her. She wants to know you give a damn about what’s going on inside her. You think jumping to solutions shows leadership? It doesn’t. Connection comes first. Then you earn the right to help. Try this line instead: “Do you want me to fix this, or do you just need me to hear you out?” That’s leadership. That’s presence. That’s power under control. 3. Getting Defensive Instead of Owning It When she brings up a concern and you jump in with: “That’s not what I meant.” “You’re twisting things.” “You always do this…” You just told her, “You can’t trust me with your truth.” Defensiveness might protect your pride in the moment, but it’s torching your connection long-term. If every conversation becomes a courtroom, she’ll stop showing up to the trial. Point 3: Rebuilding Emotional Safety—One Moment at a Time You don’t earn back emotional safety with one grand gesture. You build it with a thousand small, steady ones. Here’s how: 1. Respond With Calm Curiosity When she says something hard—or even unfair—don’t react. Lead. Pause. Breathe. Then say: “Help me understand what you’re feeling.” Or: “Tell me more.” That moment of calm leadership will melt more ice than a dozen romantic gestures. 2. Validate Her Feelings, Even If You Don’t Agree Validation doesn’t mean agreement. It means honoring her experience. Try: “That makes sense why you’d feel that way.” “I get why that hurt. Thanks for telling me.” This is about being a safe place, not proving a point. 3. Apologize Without Conditions Lose the, “I’m sorry you feel that way” garbage. Say: “I see how I hurt you. That’s on me. I’m sorry, and I want to do better.” That’s ownership. That builds trust. That’s strength. 4. Be the Same Man, Every Day Emotional safety isn’t built in one conversation. It’s built in consistency. Show up every day—steady, mature, present. Let her see: He can handle me. He listens. He doesn’t blow up. He gives a damn. That’s the man she’ll trust again. That’s the man she’ll open up to. That’s the man she’ll want to be close to again—physically and emotionally. Your marriage isn’t where you want it to be. Maybe it’s on life support. Maybe the silence in your house is louder than the arguments used to be. Maybe your wife has checked out emotionally—or you have. Listen, I’ve been there. And if you’re ready to stop watching your marriage die and actually do something about it— I’ve got something brand new for you: It’s called the 7-Day Marriage Reset Challenge. WRAP-UP Let’s be real: Emotional safety isn’t soft. It’s masculine. It’s strength, under control. Your wife isn’t asking for perfection. She’s asking for safety. Can she come to you without fear? Can she trust you with her heart? If you want the intimacy back—the warmth, the connection, even the sex—then this is where it starts. Make this your commitment today: “I will become a man who creates safety in my home—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.” And every time you stay calm, listen well, validate her heart, and take ownership—you lay another brick in that foundation. And when the foundation is strong? She’ll open up again. Her heart. Her trust. And yes—her body too. CALL TO ACTION If this episode slapped you in the face—in a good way—then don’t keep it to yourself. Subscribe. Leave a review. Share this with another man who’s drifting. We don’t keep tools like this in the toolbox. We pass them on. FINAL THOUGHT “A woman may open her body to a man she tolerates, but she’ll only open her soul to a man who makes her feel safe.” Let that settle in. /episode/index/show/07cdd20b-016f-4a17-ae31-04c71c37fd35/id/36233690

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