Why Do I Feel Like This Relationship Has to Change Before I Can Have Peace?
Practicing Hope Podcast
Why does being misunderstood feel so threatening, especially in the relationships that matter most? In this second episode of our Beholding series, Tanner Smith, Sarah Johnson, and Chase Rashad Stancle explore unmet expectations, the need for approval, and the pressure we put on others to secure our identity and peace. They discuss grieving the relationship you wish you had, releasing the need to change another person, and finding your worth in God’s love. Through honest stories and practical suggestions, they consider how to love someone as they are, even when the relationship remains...
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Why Conflict Changes the Way We See People
Practicing Hope Podcast
Disappointment doesn’t just change how you feel about someone. Over time, it can change who you think they are. You start bracing for the familiar behavior and noticing the evidence that confirms what you already believe. In this first episode of the Beholding series, Tanner Smith, Sarah Johnson, and Chase Rashad Stancle explore what disappointment does in our bodies, emotions, and perceptions — and why learning to notice it matters. You’ll begin identifying your own “script of disappointment,” separating what actually happened from the story you’ve built around it, and...
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NEW SERIES TRAILER — Introducing Beholding
Practicing Hope Podcast
Some relationships don’t get easier, even when you’re committed to loving faithfully. You’ve tried to understand, had the conversation, prayed for change — and still find yourself caught in the same painful patterns. What does love ask of us when a relationship stays hard? In this trailer, Rev. Dr. Tanner Smith of The Colossian Forum introduces Beholding, a new series from Practicing Hope about learning to look again at a relationship that has become difficult for us to see with hope. Together, we’ll explore what disappointment does to the way we see people, Christian practices for...
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Leading With Hope When Communities Change
Practicing Hope Podcast
What happens after the decision is made and things still do not feel settled? In leadership, we often think the hard part is getting through the decision itself. But what happens when the decision changes the shape of the community? When people leave, relationships shift, or everyone is trying to figure out whether they still belong? In this episode, Rev. Dr. Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore what it means to lead faithfully after a major decision has already been made. Through stories from church leadership, organizational change, COVID, and their own experiences,...
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Don’t Discern Alone: How to Build a Personal Board of Advisors
Practicing Hope Podcast
What if discernment isn’t something you do alone, but something that takes shape in a relationship? In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore what it looks like to build a “personal board of advisors” — a circle of people who help you listen well, stay grounded, and move forward with clarity. Through stories, humor, and practical wisdom, they unpack how to recognize trustworthy voices, how to engage others without outsourcing your responsibility, and how discernment shapes who you’re becoming over time. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why...
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How to Lead Communal Discernment Without Losing Trust
Practicing Hope Podcast
What do you do when a decision impacts everyone, but not everyone agrees? Making decisions on your own is hard enough. But in leadership, decisions often have consequences for an entire community. The challenge is building a process people can trust, even when they don’t get their way. In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore the real tension of communal discernment: how leaders can navigate complex decisions with clarity, honesty, and care. Through stories from church leadership, organizational life, and their own experiences, they unpack practical ways...
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Should I Say Something? Discerning When to Speak Hard Truth
Practicing Hope Podcast
Have you ever sat in a room where something needed to be said, but no one said it? In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore the challenge of naming hard truths with both courage and care. From “pointing to elephants” in the room to learning how to avoid dropping “verbal bombs,” they reflect on the practices that help us discern when to speak, how to prepare our hearts, and how to stay connected even in difficult conversations. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why naming hard truths requires both courage and emotional maturity How to discern your...
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Why We Delay Hard Decisions (and How to Move Forward)
Practicing Hope Podcast
Have you ever had a decision that just… lingers? A conversation you know you need to have. A leadership call that keeps getting pushed to the next meeting. You tell yourself you’re “still discerning” — but you’re not actually moving forward. In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore the tension between faithful discernment and avoidance — why decisions get stuck, how fear and uncertainty keep us spinning, and what it looks like to grow into leaders who can listen deeply and act when it’s time. Drawing on stories from church leadership,...
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How to Follow Through on a Hard Decision Without Shrinking Yourself or Burning Bridges
Practicing Hope Podcast
Have you ever made a hard decision — only to realize the real challenge comes after? Maybe you’re in a church, workplace, or community where there’s real disagreement. You’ve wrestled with whether to stay or leave, and you’ve made your decision. But now a new set of questions begins: How do you stay without losing yourself? How do you leave without damaging relationships? And how do you move forward with honesty and care when there’s no clean resolution? In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore what it looks like to live your decision with...
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Why Certainty Feels Good (And Might Be Shutting Down the Conversation)
Practicing Hope Podcast
When tension rises, certainty can feel like safety. We’ve all been in a room where strong conviction takes over and starts to sound like control, self-protection, and avoidance. In leadership, certainty is often rewarded. It feels decisive and strong. But what if discernment asks us to listen instead? In this episode, Tanner Smith, Chase Rashad Stancle, and Sarah Johnson explore what to do with your own certainty (and someone else’s), how to respond when someone says, “God told me…,” and how to stay grounded without closing the process. Drawing on Scripture and stories...
info_outlineHave you ever felt the pressure to fix everyone else’s problems?
Maybe with your kids, your congregation, or coworkers, you step in, smooth things over, and carry weight that isn’t yours. It feels noble, but it can drain you and keep others from growing.
What if rescuing isn’t the most loving thing you can do?
In Part 2 of our Relational Triangles series, hosts Tanner Smith and Chase Rashad Stancle — joined by Sarah Johnson — unpack the “hero/rescuer” role of the Drama Triangle: why anxious systems reward over-functioning and how to shift from rescuer to coach with simple, wise questions.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
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Why leaders are tempted to over-function
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How rescuing can quietly dishonor people
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Coaching questions to invite growth instead of fixing
Show Notes:
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Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle: Victim, Villain, Hero roles
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1 Corinthians 12–14 (body metaphor)
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Slowing Down Guide — a simple, free, practical resource to help leaders pause, breathe, and show up as a peaceful presence when tensions rise
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PDF: Coaching Questions for Leaders — a free PDF with 10+ thoughtful prompts you can keep in your back pocket to reframe conflict and invite growth
If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.