A Twice-Adopted Person’s Path Toward Wholeness with Julian Washio-Collette - Ep 131
Release Date: 02/05/2024
Unraveling the Layers of Childhood Trauma with Ron Jenkins - Ep 176
Unraveling Adoption
"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather...
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Abortion and Adoption: Insights from Sociological Research with Gretchen Sisson - Ep 175
Unraveling Adoption
"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing...
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Navigating Identity: A Korean Adoptee's Journey with Nathan Nowack - Ep 174
Unraveling Adoption
"I...sometimes I forget that I'm Asian unless I see myself in a mirror." -- Nathan Nowack Read the Transcript: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Nathan Nowack, a Korean adoptee, professional photographer, and co-host of The Janchi Show. Nathan shared his adoption story, having been adopted from Korea at just five and a half months old and raised in a predominantly white community in Oklahoma. He reflected on his childhood, noting the lack of cultural representation and the challenges of navigating his Asian identity in a world that...
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Adoption Songs: Exploring the Complexities of Adoption Through Music with Lori Evans Ermi and Kate Ermi
Unraveling Adoption
"I think now that we have this knowledge, then we can use our story to help create awareness." - Lori Evans Ermi Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JDRMT4Z5RGJ6SD35WBFBT4PM EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of welcoming Lori Evans Ermi and her 17-year-old daughter, Kate Ermi, both of whom are adoptees and co-wrote their new book, Adoption Songs. Our conversation delved into the complexities of adoption from their unique perspectives, highlighting the emotional layers that come with their experiences. Lori shared her journey as a...
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The Male Adoptee Experience: Understanding Anger, Vulnerability, and Community with Tim Perdion - Ep 172
Unraveling Adoption
"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and...
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The Plants Are Calling for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro - Ep 171
Unraveling Adoption
"The plants are always turning everything upside down because our culture is upside down." -- Mee Ok Icaro EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome back Mee Ok Icaro, a previous guest who has shared her profound insights on adoption and healing through plant medicine. This episode is particularly special as we recorded as we prepared for an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica, where I participated in my first ceremony under Mee Ok’s guidance. We begin by discussing our feelings as the retreat approaches. I express my excitement mixed with a hint of fear,...
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Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange - Ep 170
Unraveling Adoption
Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange "I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old. We explored how her experiences with ADHD and...
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From Ethiopia to America and Back Again: An Adoptee’s Fight for Justice with Mike Davis and Maureen McCauley - Ep 169
Unraveling Adoption
"I thought I'll go to the embassy and I'll clear this up. Yeah, that I was adopted legally and I was US citizen." -- Mike Davis READ THE TRANSCRIPT HERE: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Mike Davis, an intercountry adoptee whose story sheds light on the often-overlooked complexities of adoption, particularly regarding citizenship issues. Mike was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of eight by an African-American single father and grew up in the U.S. However, in the mid-1990s, he discovered that he was not a U.S. citizen,...
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Educating the Next Generation: Adoption Messages in Children's Books with Allison Olson - Ep 168
Unraveling Adoption
"I can read a book and tell you if it's written by an adoptee, written by an adoptive parent or written by somebody who's just a famous author and someone told him to write about adoption and they know nothing about it." -- Allison Olson EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent who has made significant contributions to children's literature on adoption. We explored her personal adoption story, which began in 1979 when she was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption, and how her experiences shaped...
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Creative Paths to Healing Childhood Trauma with Jonathan Moon - Ep 167
Unraveling Adoption
“I'm telling all the skeptics who may be listening, just go in there with an open mind because you're not going to lose anything. You have so much more to gain.” - Jonathan Moon EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jonathan Moon, an adopted person who has navigated the complexities of relinquishment and adoption trauma. Jonathan's journey began in Korea, where he faced significant challenges as a child, including living on the streets and experiencing significant instability. He was adopted to the U.S. at the age of nine and...
info_outline"I started meditating a lot, and eventually doing retreats, eventually going to monasteries, spending some time in a Zen Buddhist meditation center. So, yeah, I think that's kind of where I took my pain, my anguish, my existential questions, and I think there's some ambiguity there. I think there's also a kind of escapism, because I didn't know how to connect with the world or address questions that other people my age were addressing. Like livelihood, relationships, family. I just sat on a cushion." - Julian Washio Collette
Can you imagine the weight of not belonging and carrying the trauma of multiple abandonments? The struggle to find a sense of identity and stability after being adopted and then relinquished and adopted again is incredibly challenging. The lack of control over your own story and the feeling of being failed by the system can leave deep emotional scars. Julian's life story will help you understand the impacts of relinquishment, and will make you aware of the importance of finding support and community to help navigate the complexities of adoption.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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In this episode, you will be able to:
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Understand the unique challenges of being a double adoptee and how it shapes one's identity.
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Explore the profound impact of abandonment and abuse on adoptees and their journey to healing.
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Gain insight into the complexities of adoption and the importance of understanding its nuances.
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Discover the need for better support systems for adoptees and how it can positively impact their lives.
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Learn about the lifelong impact of multiple abandonments and how it shapes the adoptee's perspective and experiences.
My special guest is Julian Washio-Collette
Julian Washio-Collette, a former Catholic monk currently residing in Portland, Oregon, is our guest for this episode. As a double adoptee, Julian's personal journey of being adopted as an infant and then again at the age of nine provides a unique perspective on the complexities of adoption. With a passion for writing about spirituality, adoption, and healing, Julian's insights and experiences contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by individuals impacted by adoption or abandonment. His story sheds light on the resilience and strength needed to navigate such intricate circumstances, making him a valuable voice in the conversation around adoption.
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The resources mentioned in this episode are:
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Visit Julian's blog site called Peregrine Adoptee to read his insightful writings about spirituality, adoption, and healing: peregrineadoptee.wordpress.com
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Explore the Unraveling Adoption website to find information about upcoming events, webinars, and workshops related to adoption and healing, including Mee Ok Icaro's upcoming webinar about Sacred Plant Medicine 101 for the Adoption Constellation: unravelingadoption.com/events
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Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unique Challenges of Double Adoptees
The unique challenges faced by double adoptees like Julian Washio-Collette are centered around the absence of family continuity and frequent displacement. The uncertainty, disconnection, and confusion induced by double adoptions can leave deep psychological scars. Their unprecedented experiences urge us to shed light on the hidden complexities of double adoption and foster understanding about their distinct needs and perspectives.
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
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Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction and Background
Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Julian's background as a double adoptee is highlighted, setting the stage for a complex and impactful story.
00:01:21 - Julian's Early Life
Julian shares details about his first adoption and the secrecy surrounding his birth and early years. The lack of information about his early life creates a sense of fuzziness and identity dissonance.
00:05:16 - Second Adoption and Family Dynamics
Julian recounts the circumstances of his second adoption at the age of nine and the abusive environment in his second adoptive family. The lack of support and bond with his adoptive parents led to a feeling of survival mode for both him and his sister.
00:09:29 - Support Systems and Coping Mechanisms
Beth and Julian discuss the absence of support for him from social workers, teachers, and extended family members. Julian's coping mechanisms, including withdrawal, guilt, and finding solace in punk music and skateboarding, are highlighted.
00:11:55 - Surviving and Coping
Julian reflects on how he navigated through his challenging childhood, highlighting the lack of genuine bond with his adoptive parents and the role of music and skateboarding as outlets for emotional expression and physical activity.
00:13:32 - Early Years and Spiritual Exploration
Julian shares his journey from skateboarding and punk rock shows to discovering healing and spirituality. He discusses his involvement in 12-step programs and Zen Buddhist meditation before becoming a Catholic monk.
00:15:28 - Escaping Into Spirituality
Julian reflects on using meditation and retreats as a way to escape from addressing societal and personal questions. He discusses his codependent relationships and the concept of "abandaholic."
00:17:13 - Transition to Catholicism and Monastic Life
Julian describes his intuitive decision to join a Catholic monastery and the impactful spiritual experience he had there. He explains his connection to the writings of Julian of Norwich and the significance of choosing the name Julian.
00:19:24 - Cultural Inheritance and Homecoming
Julian shares his experience of feeling a sense of homecoming to his native religion and cultural heritage at the monastery. He discusses the power of symbolism, rituals, and the impact of his Italian background on his spiritual journey.
00:23:19 - The Impact of Closed Adoptions
Julian discusses the lack of care and concern within the adoption system, highlighting the failures of the closed adoption process. He emphasizes the need for change and the impact on both adoptees and birth mothers.