#169 - No Consent, No Trust: The Reality of Porn Addictions
The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
Release Date: 03/29/2025
The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
The high-achieving women that I work with fall into two groups. Low desire and checked out because intimacy has become a performance, a task, a source of resentment. Or high desire and confused because sex is one of the only ways they feel close, but their emotional needs aren’t being met. And then they’re blamed for wanting it too much. No matter which group you're in, you're trapped. And it’s invisible unless you know what to look for. On the surface, it looks like a libido issue. But what we’re really talking about is emotional labor, power dynamics, and a nervous system that no...
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Superwomen, we need to talk about your pelvic floor. If you’ve ever apologized during a pelvic exam, felt broken because sex hurts, or wondered if leaking when you laugh is just part of being a mom, this conversation is for you. Pelvic floor physiotherapist Aliya Dhalla joins me to answer the questions most of us are too ashamed to ask. We talk about vulva appearance, labiaplasty, pelvic tension, postpartum trauma, and the invisible ways stress shows up in our bodies, especially in the pelvic floor. You’ll hear how porn and patriarchy have warped our ideas of what’s normal and why so...
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Why you don't need to communicate better and other weaponized advice from couples therapy and Instagram influencers. These are the things keeping you stuck in your sexless marriage. If your relationship feels like a never-ending conversation with no lasting change, chances are you don't need to communicate better. You need to understand the concepts of coercive control and power dynamics. Most high-achieving women are not evil at communication. They run companies. They run households. However, in their relationships, they are over-functioning and over-communicating, yet still not getting their...
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You’ve read the sexy prompts, saved the dirty talk guides, maybe even worked up the courage to send a flirty text and still nothing changes. The card games, therapy scripts, I statements, sandwich feedback, even Nonviolent Communication and it still hurts. You feel alone. It reinforces the belief that you’re the problem. But you’re not. I’m sharing the 5 questions couples having great sex are asking each other and why communication advice does not work for high-achieving women with super traits. You’ll learn: – Why high-desire women chase emotional unavailability in the bedroom –...
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He wants you to initiate. You want to feel seen, supported, and safe. Every week I get a DM from a man asking how to get his wife to initiate sex again. And every time I think, are you really ready to hear the answer? MAKE SEX WORTH HAVING This one is for the woman who’s doing it all. The emotional labor. The logistics. The mental load. Desire doesn’t just disappear—it gets buried under exhaustion, disconnection, and power dynamics no one’s talking about. We’re not fixing a sex problem. We’re naming what’s really going on. The invisible weight. The resentment. The conditioning...
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I used to be the doctor on national television telling couples to schedule sex. I even wrote about it in my book. But I’ve learned so much since then. Not because scheduling sex is inherently wrong. But for high-functioning women like us, it becomes another setup. Another task. Another way to fail. Scheduled intimacy only works when both partners truly want it. When desire is shared., but when it’s one-sided, it becomes a power play. Another unpaid job. One more thing we have to manage. This is about more than sex. It’s about power. Emotional labor. Invisible dynamics that no one teaches...
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You say your husband’s great. Supportive. A great dad. He helps around the house. He doesn’t cheat. So why don’t you want to have sex with him? If everything looks good on paper but feels emotionally lonely, this episode is for you. We’re talking about the invisible power dynamics that cause erotic shutdown, especially for high-achieving women with supertraits like empathy, loyalty, and perseverance. Here’s what you’ll walk away with: Why your libido isn’t broken, it’s protecting you How “nice guy” behaviors create disconnection The impact of decision-making...
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You’ve done everything right. The degrees. The success. The personal growth. But still… You feel nothing. Sex feels like another thing on your to-do list. You’re disconnected, exhausted, and quietly wondering, “What’s wrong with me”? I’m breaking down how Superwoman conditioning and invisible power dynamics kill desire. Why therapy, hormones, and even functional medicine haven’t worked. And why it’s not your fault. Because most women don’t have low libido. They have low safety. We’ll talk about how overfunctioning, medical gaslighting, and the wrong relationship scripts...
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You’ve done the therapy. You’ve read the books. You’ve tried to fix it. But if you walked away from couples therapy or sex therapy feeling like you were the problem, this conversation will hit home. I’m exposing the quiet harm that happens when traditional therapy fails to account for power dynamics, emotional labor, and the super traits of high-achieving women. Let’s break it down: Why therapy often blames the over-functioning partner while ignoring the underfunctioner How high-capacity women are mislabeled as controlling, anxious, or codependent Why therapy’s focus on saving the...
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Before the pressure. Before the performance. Before checkbox sex. Pleasure used to come naturally. But somewhere along the way, it got replaced by mental gymnastics, performance-based sex, and trying to earn intimacy instead of receiving it. Jordin Wiggins pulls back the curtain on why fingering, that slow, intentional manual stimulation, is the real key to unlocking female pleasure, better sex, and lasting libido. Drawing on her work with thousands of high-achieving women, she shares: Why the traits that made you successful are the same ones killing your intimacy How performance-based sex...
info_outlineMany high-achieving women find themselves stuck in relationships where trust is broken, intimacy is lacking, and boundaries aren’t respected. Sound familiar?
Today, we’re tackling a raw and real question from a listener:
“My partner appears to be addicted to porn. I’ve confronted him, set boundaries, brought it up in couples therapy, but he continues to lie and hide it. I don’t trust him anymore. I’ve threatened to leave, but we have young kids. I don’t want to stay in a loveless relationship where I feel like I’m just the financial and emotional glue holding everything together. What do I do?”
In this episode, Dr. Jordin dives deep into:
- If porn is actually addictive. (Spoiler: The medical community doesn’t classify it as an addiction, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a problem in your relationship.)
- How healing begins with radical honesty and setting real boundaries.
- The reality of staying in an unfulfilling relationship and its impact on your holistic health.
It’s time to shift the focus from fixing him to healing you. Tolerating disconnection, loneliness, and a lack of intimacy is killing you. This episode will help you get clear on your desires, how to identify and enforce your boundaries, and decide what’s truly best for your well-being.
If today’s episode struck a nerve, or if you’re feeling the anger and betrayal of boundaries being ignored, send Jordin a direct message on Instagram to find what solution can help you feel fulfilled and connected again.
CLICK HERE to access Jordin's private podcast, The Pleasure Path.
CLICK HERE to follow @drjordinwiggins on Instagram