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#178 Scheduling Sex Isn't The Holy Grail Solution to a Sexless Relationship

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Release Date: 05/29/2025

#183 Why Successful Women End Up in Sexless Marriages & What to Do About It show art #183 Why Successful Women End Up in Sexless Marriages & What to Do About It

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

The high-achieving women that I work with fall into two groups. Low desire and checked out because intimacy has become a performance, a task, a source of resentment. Or high desire and confused because sex is one of the only ways they feel close, but their emotional needs aren’t being met. And then they’re blamed for wanting it too much. No matter which group you're in, you're trapped. And it’s invisible unless you know what to look for. On the surface, it looks like a libido issue. But what we’re really talking about is emotional labor, power dynamics, and a nervous system that no...

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#182 The Hidden Link Between Stress, Painful Sex & Your Pelvic Floor From A Pelvic Floor Specialist show art #182 The Hidden Link Between Stress, Painful Sex & Your Pelvic Floor From A Pelvic Floor Specialist

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Superwomen, we need to talk about your pelvic floor. If you’ve ever apologized during a pelvic exam, felt broken because sex hurts, or wondered if leaking when you laugh is just part of being a mom, this conversation is for you. Pelvic floor physiotherapist Aliya Dhalla joins me to answer the questions most of us are too ashamed to ask. We talk about vulva appearance, labiaplasty, pelvic tension, postpartum trauma, and the invisible ways stress shows up in our bodies, especially in the pelvic floor. You’ll hear how porn and patriarchy have warped our ideas of what’s normal and why so...

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#181 Why Couples & Sex Therapy Doesn’t Work for High-Achieving Women (Truth About Communication) show art #181 Why Couples & Sex Therapy Doesn’t Work for High-Achieving Women (Truth About Communication)

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Why you don't need to communicate better and other weaponized advice from couples therapy and Instagram influencers. These are the things keeping you stuck in your sexless marriage. If your relationship feels like a never-ending conversation with no lasting change, chances are you don't need to communicate better. You need to understand the concepts of coercive control and power dynamics. Most high-achieving women are not evil at communication. They run companies. They run households. However, in their relationships, they are over-functioning and over-communicating, yet still not getting their...

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#180 5 Questions Couples Having Great Sex Are Asking Each Other show art #180 5 Questions Couples Having Great Sex Are Asking Each Other

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

You’ve read the sexy prompts, saved the dirty talk guides, maybe even worked up the courage to send a flirty text and still nothing changes. The card games, therapy scripts, I statements, sandwich feedback, even Nonviolent Communication and it still hurts. You feel alone. It reinforces the belief that you’re the problem. But you’re not. I’m sharing the 5 questions couples having great sex are asking each other and why communication advice does not work for high-achieving women with super traits. You’ll learn: – Why high-desire women chase emotional unavailability in the bedroom –...

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#179 Why You’re Not Initiating Anymore (And It’s Not Low Libido, Hormones or Feminine Energy) show art #179 Why You’re Not Initiating Anymore (And It’s Not Low Libido, Hormones or Feminine Energy)

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

He wants you to initiate. You want to feel seen, supported, and safe. Every week I get a DM from a man asking how to get his wife to initiate sex again. And every time I think, are you really ready to hear the answer? MAKE SEX WORTH HAVING This one is for the woman who’s doing it all. The emotional labor. The logistics. The mental load. Desire doesn’t just disappear—it gets buried under exhaustion, disconnection, and power dynamics no one’s talking about. We’re not fixing a sex problem. We’re naming what’s really going on. The invisible weight. The resentment. The conditioning...

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#178 Scheduling Sex Isn't The Holy Grail Solution to a Sexless Relationship show art #178 Scheduling Sex Isn't The Holy Grail Solution to a Sexless Relationship

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

I used to be the doctor on national television telling couples to schedule sex. I even wrote about it in my book. But I’ve learned so much since then. Not because scheduling sex is inherently wrong. But for high-functioning women like us, it becomes another setup. Another task. Another way to fail. Scheduled intimacy only works when both partners truly want it. When desire is shared., but when it’s one-sided, it becomes a power play. Another unpaid job. One more thing we have to manage. This is about more than sex. It’s about power. Emotional labor. Invisible dynamics that no one teaches...

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#177 The Real Reason You Don’t Want Sex in Your “Good” Relationship show art #177 The Real Reason You Don’t Want Sex in Your “Good” Relationship

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

You say your husband’s great. Supportive. A great dad. He helps around the house. He doesn’t cheat. So why don’t you want to have sex with him? If everything looks good on paper but feels emotionally lonely, this episode is for you. We’re talking about the invisible power dynamics that cause erotic shutdown, especially for high-achieving women with supertraits like empathy, loyalty, and perseverance. Here’s what you’ll walk away with: Why your libido isn’t broken, it’s protecting you How “nice guy” behaviors create disconnection The impact of decision-making...

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#176 Why High-Achieving Women Stop Wanting Sex (And How to Get It Back) show art #176 Why High-Achieving Women Stop Wanting Sex (And How to Get It Back)

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

You’ve done everything right. The degrees. The success. The personal growth. But still… You feel nothing. Sex feels like another thing on your to-do list. You’re disconnected, exhausted, and quietly wondering, “What’s wrong with me”? I’m breaking down how Superwoman conditioning and invisible power dynamics kill desire. Why therapy, hormones, and even functional medicine haven’t worked. And why it’s not your fault. Because most women don’t have low libido. They have low safety. We’ll talk about how overfunctioning, medical gaslighting, and the wrong relationship scripts...

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#175 Why Sex Therapy Doesn’t Work for High-Functioning Women And What Actually Does show art #175 Why Sex Therapy Doesn’t Work for High-Functioning Women And What Actually Does

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

You’ve done the therapy. You’ve read the books. You’ve tried to fix it. But if you walked away from couples therapy or sex therapy feeling like you were the problem, this conversation will hit home. I’m exposing the quiet harm that happens when traditional therapy fails to account for power dynamics, emotional labor, and the super traits of high-achieving women. Let’s break it down: Why therapy often blames the over-functioning partner while ignoring the underfunctioner How high-capacity women are mislabeled as controlling, anxious, or codependent Why therapy’s focus on saving the...

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#174 - How Fingering Unlocks Female Pleasure, Better Sex, and Lasting Libido show art #174 - How Fingering Unlocks Female Pleasure, Better Sex, and Lasting Libido

The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Before the pressure. Before the performance. Before checkbox sex. Pleasure used to come naturally. But somewhere along the way, it got replaced by mental gymnastics, performance-based sex, and trying to earn intimacy instead of receiving it. Jordin Wiggins pulls back the curtain on why fingering, that slow, intentional manual stimulation, is the real key to unlocking female pleasure, better sex, and lasting libido. Drawing on her work with thousands of high-achieving women, she shares: Why the traits that made you successful are the same ones killing your intimacy How performance-based sex...

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More Episodes

I used to be the doctor on national television telling couples to schedule sex. I even wrote about it in my book. But I’ve learned so much since then. Not because scheduling sex is inherently wrong. But for high-functioning women like us, it becomes another setup. Another task. Another way to fail.

Scheduled intimacy only works when both partners truly want it. When desire is shared., but when it’s one-sided, it becomes a power play. Another unpaid job. One more thing we have to manage.

This is about more than sex. It’s about power. Emotional labor. Invisible dynamics that no one teaches us to name. The same super traits that make you successful are blocking your desire. The overfunctioning. The performance. The pressure to fix what was never yours to fix.

Sexless relationships aren’t about frequency. They’re about safety. Intimacy. Capacity. Most women I work with don’t need more structure. They need less. Less to do. Less pressure. More truth. More feeling. More pleasure.

Take the Pleasure Path Assessment in the show notes to uncover what’s actually blocking your arousal. Your body isn’t broken. You were just never taught how to do intimacy your way. [CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR ASSESSMENT]

 

Check out The Pleasure Principles Group Coaching [CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE JUNE COHORT]

 

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