#173 - Breaking Through Trauma: Why Your Past is Blocking Your Intimacy Today
The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
Release Date: 04/24/2025
The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
If you’ve ever been told that estrogen causes breast cancer, or that your mammogram will save your life, or that your only option is to “cut, poison, and burn,” this episode is going to challenge everything you’ve been taught. Dr. Jenn Simmons joins me for an honest conversation about what actually causes breast cancer, why the screening model is flawed, and how functional medicine is changing the game. Dr. Jenn was one of the top breast cancer surgeons in Philadelphia. She was the first fellowship-trained breast surgeon in her city. The first onco-plastic surgeon in the state. She was...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
If you’ve ever been called intimidating, too much, or one of the boys. If you’ve had to explain how you like to be touched more times than you can count. If the idea of surrender feels terrifying because you’re the one who always needs to be in control. This episode is your permission slip. We are talking about kink. Not in the way you think. This is not about whips or pain or anything performative. This is about kink as a nervous system tool. A way back into your body. A space where you can finally stop performing, stop leading, and just feel. This episode is about what high-achieving...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
The 10 Phrases That Make Her Want Sex Again She came on the call overwhelmed, crusty, resentful. She left flushed, smiling, turned on. If you’ve built your life on doing things right and still feel disconnected from sex, this episode is for you. We are talking about what actually helps high achieving women want sex again. Not dirty talk. Not pressure. Not more performance. These are ten phrases that soften your jaw, land you in your body, and let your nervous system breathe. Because when you are always leading, adjusting, and accommodating, there is no room for your pleasure. If you are...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
You’ve read the posts, tried the tips, downloaded the workshops, and still feel nothing. You can orgasm by yourself, but struggle with a partner. Or maybe you’re shut down completely and convincing yourself you’re over it. You’re not. You’ve just been stuck in survival. High-achieving women with super traits are doing sex backward. You’re performing instead of receiving. Doing instead of feeling. Googling techniques when your nervous system is too shut down to hold sensation. I’m walking you through why orgasm isn’t about skill, it’s about safety, why all the tips fall flat...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
The high-achieving women that I work with fall into two groups. Low desire and checked out because intimacy has become a performance, a task, a source of resentment. Or high desire and confused because sex is one of the only ways they feel close, but their emotional needs aren’t being met. And then they’re blamed for wanting it too much. No matter which group you're in, you're trapped. And it’s invisible unless you know what to look for. On the surface, it looks like a libido issue. But what we’re really talking about is emotional labor, power dynamics, and a nervous system that no...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
Superwomen, we need to talk about your pelvic floor. If you’ve ever apologized during a pelvic exam, felt broken because sex hurts, or wondered if leaking when you laugh is just part of being a mom, this conversation is for you. Pelvic floor physiotherapist Aliya Dhalla joins me to answer the questions most of us are too ashamed to ask. We talk about vulva appearance, labiaplasty, pelvic tension, postpartum trauma, and the invisible ways stress shows up in our bodies, especially in the pelvic floor. You’ll hear how porn and patriarchy have warped our ideas of what’s normal and why so...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
Why you don't need to communicate better and other weaponized advice from couples therapy and Instagram influencers. These are the things keeping you stuck in your sexless marriage. If your relationship feels like a never-ending conversation with no lasting change, chances are you don't need to communicate better. You need to understand the concepts of coercive control and power dynamics. Most high-achieving women are not evil at communication. They run companies. They run households. However, in their relationships, they are over-functioning and over-communicating, yet still not getting their...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
You’ve read the sexy prompts, saved the dirty talk guides, maybe even worked up the courage to send a flirty text and still nothing changes. The card games, therapy scripts, I statements, sandwich feedback, even Nonviolent Communication and it still hurts. You feel alone. It reinforces the belief that you’re the problem. But you’re not. I’m sharing the 5 questions couples having great sex are asking each other and why communication advice does not work for high-achieving women with super traits. You’ll learn: – Why high-desire women chase emotional unavailability in the bedroom –...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
He wants you to initiate. You want to feel seen, supported, and safe. Every week I get a DM from a man asking how to get his wife to initiate sex again. And every time I think, are you really ready to hear the answer? MAKE SEX WORTH HAVING This one is for the woman who’s doing it all. The emotional labor. The logistics. The mental load. Desire doesn’t just disappear—it gets buried under exhaustion, disconnection, and power dynamics no one’s talking about. We’re not fixing a sex problem. We’re naming what’s really going on. The invisible weight. The resentment. The conditioning...
info_outlineThe Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins
I used to be the doctor on national television telling couples to schedule sex. I even wrote about it in my book. But I’ve learned so much since then. Not because scheduling sex is inherently wrong. But for high-functioning women like us, it becomes another setup. Another task. Another way to fail. Scheduled intimacy only works when both partners truly want it. When desire is shared., but when it’s one-sided, it becomes a power play. Another unpaid job. One more thing we have to manage. This is about more than sex. It’s about power. Emotional labor. Invisible dynamics that no one teaches...
info_outlineIs your body keeping a secret that's ruining your sex life? Discover why that lack of desire, connection, and fulfillment has nothing to do with your hormones, stress levels, or sexual techniques.
We’re sharing one of our most popular episodes from 2023 where Dr. Jordin Wiggins reveals the hidden trauma response that's blocking your pleasure—even if you don't identify as a trauma survivor—and how to finally break free from the patterns keeping you from the intimacy you deserve.
In this episode, Dr. Jordin is sharing:
- Why 90% of sexual disconnection isn't about hormones or stress, but about your nervous system's ability to feel safe enough to experience pleasure, presence, and connection
- How high-functioning, successful women often carry unrecognized trauma responses that make it impossible to truly let go and connect during intimacy
- Techniques to regulate your nervous system, recognize your unique trauma response pattern (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), and reclaim your capacity for deep, fulfilling intimacy
If you're craving a connection that won't fade, here’s what comes next:
The Pleasure Principles Group Coaching. This 12-week journey is your entry point if you:
- Feel exhausted by over-functioning but aren't sure what's wrong
- Are experiencing physical symptoms despite "doing everything right"
- Have a partner who loves you, but you feel miles apart
- Have tried hormones, therapy, or self-help without success
- Are ready to understand the science behind why nothing has worked
In this intimate container limited to just 10 women, you'll learn the neuroscience of arousal, map your pleasure blueprint, and take imperfect action toward rekindling your desire.
Join our Group Coaching June cohort: https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/offers/4JyoPVgu/checkout
The Pleasure Mastery Network: This 12-month journey is for you if:
- You've already tried "fixing" your relationship through therapy or hormone treatments
- You recognize power dynamics at play in your relationship
- You're ready to address the root causes, not just symptoms
- You crave a community of women who will witness your transformation
- You want access to in-person retreats and deeper nervous system recalibration
This isn't surface-level work. This is about reclaiming your relationship to intimacy, turn-on, and pleasure on your own terms through monthly calls, in-person retreats, and a powerful community of women walking alongside you.
Listen to The Pleasure Path: https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/alpha
Follow @drjordinwiggins on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjordinwiggins