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Wife or Bust: Dating With Integrity, Courage & Clarity (feat. Chris Bates & Joel Cochran)

Unblock Your BS

Release Date: 10/29/2025

Why You’re Crushing It at Work but Losing Your Relationship show art Why You’re Crushing It at Work but Losing Your Relationship

Unblock Your BS

You’re successful… so why is your relationship falling apart? If you feel respected, valued, and confident in your career but disconnected, criticized, or unwanted at home… This episode will explain why. Inside this conversation, we break down the real root of “roommate marriages”, and why traditional advice doesn’t work What You’ll Learn: Why your brain is wired to chase achievement over connection How dopamine addiction keeps you focused on work instead of your relationship The hidden reason presence and emotional intimacy feel uncomfortable Why you feel like you’re...

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Unblock Your BS

She said she was done. No real explanation. Just "I'm unhappy." And everything Skippy thought was stable... wasn't. In this episode, Tara sits down with Healthy Men-tality member Skippy to talk through what the early stages of separation actually looked like, and how he went from full panic mode to something he hadn't felt in years: clarity. In this episode: Why trying harder often makes things worse The 30-day no-emotional-pressure reset and what it actually did How nervous system regulation stopped the spiral The childhood patterns that quietly wreck adult relationships What it...

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Unblock Your BS

There’s a moment when everything you thought was stable… isn’t. Not slowly. Not with warning. Just… gone! That’s where this conversation starts. Bill was married for 16 years. He thought they had normal problems. Manageable ones. Then one conversation changed everything. His wife asked for a divorce… and he found out she had already moved on. In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with listener Bill as he navigates the raw, real aftermath of being blindsided. This isn’t a polished success story. This is what healing actually looks like in real time.   Inside this...

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Unblock Your BS

If your partner is constantly sending you relationship content… and your first instinct is to feel annoyed, confused, or defensive… This episode is going to challenge that. Because what looks like a “TikTok problem”… is usually a communication and emotional safety problem. Inside this solo episode, we break down what’s actually happening when someone avoids direct communication, and how your response might be reinforcing the very cycle you’re frustrated with. In this episode, we cover: Why sending TikToks is often a safer form of communication How social media algorithms...

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Unblock Your BS

Most people don’t go into marriage expecting it to end. And when it does… they don’t have a roadmap. If you're a man facing divorce, you’ve probably heard the same story on repeat: You’ll lose your money. You’ll lose your kids. The system is rigged against you. But what if most of that is just noise? In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with Joe Dillon, co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, to break down what actually happens in divorce, and how to navigate it without destroying your finances, your relationship with your kids, or yourself. Joe has spent 17+ years...

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Unblock Your BS

At 25, Coleman was cheating on his wife, chronically lying, and living in constant fight-or-flight. He didn’t just lose his marriage. He realized he didn’t like who he had become. This episode is the raw, unfiltered story of what it actually takes to change,  not through mindset hacks, but through nervous system healing. From rock bottom… to somatic work, subconscious reprogramming, breathwork, and rebuilding emotional integrity. Today, Coleman helps women regulate their nervous systems,  and teaches men how to create emotional safety instead of control. This conversation goes...

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Unblock Your BS

Some moments in life split your story into two chapters: Before. And after. For Charlie, that moment happened the night he discovered his wife was having an affair. After 15 years together, his marriage collapsed overnight. His nervous system spiraled. His identity shattered. And he found himself sitting in his car wondering how his life had fallen apart so quickly. But that breakdown became the beginning of something unexpected. In this episode, Charlie shares the real story behind his healing journey inside the Healthy Men-tality program, from emotional shutdown and codependency to learning...

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Unblock Your BS

Heartbreak has a way of exposing patterns we didn’t even realize we were living inside of. In this episode, Tara sits down with heartbreak and relationship coach Erica Wright to unpack the deeper dynamics that show up in relationships, especially after betrayal, divorce, or emotional disconnection. The conversation explores how codependency develops, why people often ignore their intuition in relationships, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust with yourself after a painful breakup. Erica shares how she helps clients heal using parts work and inner child work, explaining how the...

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Unblock Your BS

Divorce is messy. It’s grief. It's a relief. It’s rage. It’s freedom. Sometimes all in the same week. In this solo episode, I break down what really happens after divorce, especially for the men I work with inside Healthy Men-tality. The bitterness. The bargaining. The shame spiral. The temptation to jump into something new just to avoid being alone. And here’s the bold truth: Dating while you’re still legally or emotionally tied to someone else often isn’t healing… it’s avoidance. We talk about: The 5 stages of grief in divorce (even when you initiated it) Why second...

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Unblock Your BS

You’re good teammates.Good parents. But behind closed doors?Something’s missing. The spark.The fire.The “I can’t wait to touch you” energy. Most couples don’t talk about sex or nobody knows how to actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with sex and intimacy coach Dan Purcell to talk about what’s really underneath the roommate marriage phase  and why trying to “get more sex” is often the exact thing killing desire. We unpack: Why desire discrepancy is so common (and what it actually means) The “sweatpants phase” and how polarity shifts over time How...

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Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want “real connection” while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn’t a punishment - what if it’s a mirror?

In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes.

Chris Bates, Dating Coach for Men and author of The Dating Edge, and Joel Cochran, mindset and business coach and co-creator of Wife or Bust, are on a mission to help men turn modern dating into a springboard for personal development. They talk about how childhood wounds shape attraction, why most people use dating apps like slot machines instead of filters, and what it actually means to lead with character and clarity in love.

You’ll Hear:

  • How to turn the mess of modern dating into a personal development game.

  • The mindset shift that makes dating less about “finding her” and more about becoming him.

  • Joel’s simple rule that instantly lowers defensiveness and builds connection: “Questions pull. Statements press.”

  • Why men hear feedback better from other men - and how to build your own brotherhood.

  • What “dating with integrity” really means (and why you should always close the loop instead of ghosting).

  • Chris’s “four legs of the stool” and how to build a solid life foundation before inviting a woman in.

  • Hinge vs Bumble: why your profile isn’t a highlight reel -  it’s a landing page for the right woman.

If you’re a man re-entering the dating world post-divorce or just tired of surface-level connections, this conversation shows you how to approach dating as a mirror for growth — to heal old patterns, lead with honesty, and build connection through curiosity instead of control.

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Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.