Episode 271: Love Yourself this Valentine's Day

Private Coaching

Today, I want to talk about self-love because it's Valentine's Day. 

And the thing about self-love that I have found in doing this work for almost 30 years is that self-love takes on a lot of different forms. Yes, it is ensuring that I bathe, brush my teeth, get adequate sleep, eat well, and exercise.

But it's also about taking care of the things I think and the things I do. 

A big thing that has come up for me, mainly in the past couple of years, is that self-love is about working for myself instead of working against myself. 

And how often I would be like, “I love myself, and I approve of myself,” I would say that wonderful affirmation, but then when a sticky or uncomfortable situation would come up, I'd be so eager to just give my power away.

Ah, giving your power away. Yeah, that is not self-love. 

And that is why the core work, which is that work on yourself, is so incredibly important. 

It's about learning that you are your own best advocate. That you are there for you, no matter the situation. 

That is true self-love.

Another way I practice self-love is my relationship with the Universe, God, Yahweh, Bob, Joe, or whatever you want to call your higher power, or a lot of people like to call it your higher coach or your higher intelligence. 

I like to establish that I am a part of the universe, which is a part of me.

And I also like to acknowledge that the universe is the pilot. And I am the co-pilot. 

There's that wonderful prayer, the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference.”

And that's grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, which are other people, places, situations, and issues. I can't control it. That's the Universe's job. 

Courage to change the things I can. I can change my own thoughts, my own attitudes, and my own actions. 

And wisdom to know the difference. The difference between what I can do something about, Which is my thoughts, my attitudes, my actions, and what I can't do anything about, which is other people, places, things, and situations.

That is also practicing self-love. 

When I am worried about things, when I am tied up in knots about a situation or somebody or what other people think of me, that isn't practicing self-love. 

And this Valentine's Day, I encourage you, and I encourage myself to love myself as much as I possibly can by doing those deep things, like taking actions that work for me and thoughts that work for me as well.

I understand this is not an easy thing, but it is actually quite simple. 

And it also is the best way to live our lives. 

Because the fact of the matter is no matter where I go, I take myself with me. 

If I please myself, chances are other people will be more pleased.

One of the things I was thinking about as an actor was if I'm worried about pleasing the director or the producer or the writer or anybody else, all of my attention is outward, but chances are, if I work on that performance, excuse me, being as good as I can possibly make it focus on the work, do it so I know I did my best.

Guess what? I pleased the only person I have any control over or manageability over. 

Chances are, other people will be pleased as well. 

It's all about practicing self-love. It's all about caring for you. It's all about you making sure that you work for you and not against you. 

You've done it long enough; it's time to let go.