Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
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Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
Hey White Women
In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how...
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Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?
Hey White Women
In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness,...
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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism. ...
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Episode 35 | Colors for Community
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering...
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Episode 34 | Boom Boom Beige
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of platform building, the evolution of ideas, and the impact of cultural narratives on personal identity. They discuss the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the tenets of white supremacy, and the challenges of navigating capitalism and professionalism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of shared experiences and the need to reopen historical conversations while addressing the dehumanization inherent in capitalist systems. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of capitalism,...
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Episode 33 | Protest or Parade?
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of race, activism, and the impact of online criticism, particularly on black women. They discuss the intersection of political identity and extremism, the role of white women in social movements, and the importance of listening to marginalized voices. The conversation delves into the dynamics of whiteness in society, the power of storytelling, and the journey of self-discovery in the context of anti-racism. Ultimately, they emphasize the need for community support and the role of women in driving social change. In this...
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Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"
Hey White Women
This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the...
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Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella...
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Episode 30 | Speaking equitably with confidence
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca delve into the complexities of cult dynamics, particularly focusing on the Nation of Islam. They explore personal experiences with cults, the intersection of race and cults, and the societal responses to these groups. The discussion highlights the role of white women in these conversations, the importance of listening and learning from diverse experiences, and the manipulative tactics employed by cults. The speakers emphasize that conflict can be a necessary part of understanding and navigating these topics, and they advocate for a more nuanced...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering belonging and the dangers of rebranding historical trauma, particularly in the context of military experiences and cultural awareness. In this engaging conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore various themes surrounding creativity, identity, privilege, and societal dynamics. They discuss the cultural differences in dance, the nature of self-expression, and the complexities of defining oneself as an artist. The conversation delves into the importance of self-definition, the impact of societal expectations, and the challenges of navigating personal fears and anxieties. They also touch on the military's culture, the role of storytelling, and the significance of understanding privilege and its implications in everyday life. Through humor and personal anecdotes, they encourage listeners to reflect on their own identities and the narratives they create.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Takeaways
Fashion can be a powerful form of self-expression and identity.
Experiences in diverse spaces highlight the impact of race and community.
Cultural disconnect is evident in social interactions, such as elevator etiquette.
Color can symbolize resistance and joy, especially for marginalized communities.
Critiquing whiteness involves understanding the complexities of identity.
The Byte model offers insights into understanding cult dynamics.
Personal narratives provide valuable perspectives on experiences and identity.
Community plays a crucial role in finding belonging and support.
Rebranding can obscure the realities of historical trauma and oppression.
Navigating identity in the military involves unique challenges and expectations. Cultural perspectives on dance highlight differences in self-expression.
Creativity can be stifled by societal expectations and self-imposed limitations.
Defining oneself as an artist can be challenging in a world of labels.
Self-definition is a powerful tool for personal empowerment.
Guerrilla tactics can be effective in resisting oppressive systems.
The global community is increasingly disengaging from American influence.
Self-imposed suffering can hinder personal growth and exploration.
Addressing fears and anxieties is crucial for mental well-being.
Storytelling is a vital part of understanding and sharing experiences.
Privilege often comes with blind spots that need to be acknowledged.
Chapters
00:00 Fashion and Identity: A Colorful Expression
03:35 Navigating Whiteness and Community Dynamics
06:24 Cultural Differences in Social Interactions
09:27 The Power of Color and Self-Expression
12:28 Critiquing Society: The Importance of Perspective
15:28 Understanding Cult Dynamics and Personal Growth
25:49 The Complexity of Identity and Choice
27:03 Military Standards and Racial Identity
28:44 Camaraderie and Community in Marginalized Groups
30:33 Navigating Whiteness and Cultural Connections
32:48 The Disconnect of Whiteness from Body and Rhythm
35:02 Language Policing and Social Dynamics
37:00 The Consequences of Ignoring History
40:18 Rebranding and the Cult of Whiteness
42:51 Defining Identity and the Artist's Journey
52:49 Self-Imposed Limitations and Breaking Barriers
55:02 Facing Fears and Planning for the Unknown
57:36 The Reality of Disaster Preparedness
01:00:55 The Narrative of Privilege and Accountability
01:02:17 Understanding White Privilege and Its Implications
01:10:56 The Blind Spots of Privilege
01:19:45 The Complexity of Masculinity and Military Culture
Produced by Haley Phillips