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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism

Hey White Women

Release Date: 05/15/2025

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how white womanhood functions as a powerful cultural and political identity within American systems of power. The conversation examines how whiteness, gender, and class intersect to produce both vulnerability and authority, and how white women are often positioned as both victims and enforcers within oppressive structures. Together, they unpack how safety narratives, respectability politics, and emotional performances have historically been weaponized to uphold racial hierarchies while obscuring class struggle. The episode ultimately reframes white...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella is joined by White Woman Whisperer for a wide-ranging, unflinching conversation about whiteness, community, deconstruction, and political responsibility. Using current events, historical context, and personal experience, they explore why white Americans, especially white women, struggle to form collective resistance, how cult dynamics show up in liberalism and patriotism, and why deconstruction often feels like loss before it becomes liberation. The conversation challenges performative allyship, critiques victimhood narratives, and emphasizes that real change...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and “common sense” social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how “anti-identity” often...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett’s announcement that she’s running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how “moral superiority” becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately...

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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization show art Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization

Hey White Women

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella dive into how cult dynamics show up way beyond just “cults.” Daniella shares pieces of her childhood in the Children of God and how those patterns of coercion, shame, and identity erasure followed her into adulthood—including her time in the military. They compare notes on how institutions, extremist movements, and even online communities use the same tactics to control people, and why so many folks get pulled into these systems in the first place. The conversation stays honest, nuanced, and very human as they talk about deradicalization, belonging,...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 59 | In-Person Special Episode show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 59 | In-Person Special Episode

Hey White Women

In this in-person episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive deep into racial dynamics, whiteness, group behavior, cult patterns, and the ways white women, white culture, and American norms create invisible and often unexamined hierarchies. They explore how racism shows up in everyday interactions — such as being asked to “prove” a lived experience, being demanded to provide citations, or being treated as less credible unless a white source confirms it. They move through topics including camera/lens racism, anti-Blackness in beauty and hair culture, the Puritan roots of American “purity,”...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters

Hey White Women

This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism

Hey White Women

In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...

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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness show art Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...

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In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism.

 

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

 

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

 

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

 

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

For more info on me:

Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8

Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady

Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ 

Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook

Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8

 

Takeaways

  • Deconstructing white supremacy is essential for social justice.

  • White women must confront their roles in activism.

  • Listening to Black voices is crucial in conversations about race.

  • Community and connection are vital for sustainable movements.

  • The absence of Black women in spaces indicates danger.

  • Protests should not be performative but rooted in genuine change.

  • The tipping point for white America is yet to be reached.

  • Excusing harmful behavior perpetuates systemic issues.

  • Personal growth is integral to anti-racism work.

  • Building relationships is key to understanding and change.

 

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Conversation on White Supremacy

02:03 Hypothetical Protests and White Women's Reactions

07:43 Listening to Black Voices in Conversations

11:36 The Dangers of Rhetorical Questions

15:42 The Canary in the Coal Mine Analogy

18:41 Historical Context and Urgency in Activism

21:19 Deconstructing Whiteness and Community

28:41 The Illusion of Stability in Society

29:27 The Complexity of Protests and Responses

32:10 The Tipping Point of Social Movements

34:57 Understanding Agency and Responsibility

37:57 Historical Context of Power Dynamics

40:43 The Role of Community and Relationships

43:42 Reimagining Systems of Support

46:22 The Importance of Personal Accountability

49:19 Building Safe Spaces for Dialogue

 

Produced by Haley Phillips