Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
info_outline
White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
info_outline
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineIn this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces.
The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness, rule-making, and the cult-like control of conformity—from school dress codes to toxic masculinity to AI panic.
Drawing on personal stories, historical context, and biting humor, Rebecca and Daniella unpack the invisible hierarchies that shape white culture and challenge listeners to rethink privilege, identity, and agency. Plus, a shout-out to red velvet cupcakes and a few choice words for "busy business boys."
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Takeaways
- A TikTok trend sparked discussions about the identity of redheads and their experiences.
- Redheads often feel isolated and misunderstood, similar to experiences in the Black community.
- Community acceptance is crucial for marginalized groups, including redheads.
- Conversations about racism require understanding and listening to those affected.
- White women have a unique role in addressing racism and supporting marginalized voices.
- Rules and standards in society can create unnecessary barriers and oppression.
- Diversity in appearance should be embraced and celebrated.
- Volunteering requirements can disproportionately affect marginalized groups.
- The future of work is changing, and traditional standards may not apply anymore.
- Don't argue with conservative men; they have their agenda.
- Earning respect is about consistent quality, not credentials.
- Competency checking often comes from men; women are less likely to question without context.
- Engaging with narcissism offers no benefit; they seek control.
- Reframing questions can shift the conversation dynamics.
- Community and connection are vital for healing and support.
- Creators don't owe anyone content; entitlement is misplaced.
- Mistakes can drive engagement and virality in content.
- Unique perspectives are valuable; competition is a myth in creativity.
- Charity doesn't replace systemic change; we need to address root causes.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Its Purpose
07:16 The Intersection of Race and Hair Color
10:31 Understanding the Role of Community and Belonging
14:32 The Impact of Cultural Differences on Identity
18:35 The Role of Rules and Norms in Society
23:51 Conservatism and Resistance to Change
27:50 Challenging Traditional Professionalism
28:59 Breaking the Mold: Success in Non-Traditional Topics
30:19 The Importance of Self-Belief
31:51 Navigating Expectations and Opportunities
34:18 The Myth of Meritocracy
36:25 The Illusion of Choice and Agency
37:48 The Cost of Conformity
39:26 The Fear of Losing Privilege
40:25 The Pressure of Proving Oneself
42:23 The Evolution of Skills in a Changing World
44:47 The Relevance of Traditional Skills
47:23 Cultivating Independence After Leaving a Cult
49:24 The Paradox of Equality in Standards
51:58 Earning Respect vs. Proving Worth
55:49 Gender Dynamics in Competency Checking
57:58 Engaging with Trolls and Narcissism
01:00:49 Reframing Conversations and Accountability
01:04:47 The Entitlement of Online Audiences
01:08:37 The Pressure of Perfection in Content Creation
01:12:15 Building Community Over Competition
01:16:09 Embracing Unique Value in Creative Work
01:21:17 Embracing Unique Value
01:25:41 Challenging Ownership and Distribution
01:29:41 Radical Self-Acceptance and Identity
01:33:14 Healing Before Helping
01:37:32 The Power of Shared Experiences
Produced by Haley Phillips